I decided that the knowledge of dhampir (half-human, half-vampire children) will be a fairly common thing in this AU, because why the fuck wasn't it in the original? Sure, it may not have been incredibly common, but some vampires are thousands of years old. Surely SOME of them knew about it. So, yeah. That's a known thing. No surprise babies. Sorry Renesmee.
The first part of the chapter is written to The Darkness of Things.
The second part - where the conversation resumes, is written to Weird Fishes / Arpeggi.
Chapter songs:
The Darkness of Things by Tasseomancy ft. Timber Timbre
Weird Fishes / Arpeggi by Radiohead
Jasper's POV
"C'mon Jazz, it's not that bad!" Peter had my shoulders in a vice grip. I was having a considerable amount of trouble coming to terms with the bomb he'd just dropped on me. A mate. It wasn't something I ever thought I'd find, even if part of me wished I would. Being with Pete and Charlotte as long as I had, I'd been subject to feeling the saccharine love between them. The intimate bond that tied their souls together.
"You can't be serious, Pete. It is incredibly bad!" I spoke in a low growl, my throat rumbling softly as I tried to push back the panic that threatened to raise my voice, and my emotions. I couldn't lose control - not now. That could put her in danger. More danger than she was already in just by being here. "At any moment any one of us could go feral and kill her. All it would take is a fraction of a second and she'd be dead." I had to give it to Pete, he really was trying to calm me down. I could feel him trying to push calm feelings my way. Still, I had resigned myself to a life of relative solitude decades ago. I couldn't bring myself to face the possibility that my future may not be as lonesome as I'd thought it would be.
"You and I both know that's not going to happen. I can practically feel the bond comin' off you." I could feel it too. It was undeniable. The sleeping beauty on the couch was absolutely and unequivocally my soulmate. There was no emotion deep enough, no pretty words or embellished phrases to accurately describe the pull between us. We were two halves of a whole piece. Or rather, we would be. In time.
"How is this even possible? She's not a vampire. Hell, she's not even a dhampir! How could this happen?" I pulled away from him, shrugging my arms out of his grip and moving to the foot of the couch. My eyes grazed my sleeping human's face, so still and perfect. How could I ever make it through this? I was strong, sure. I'd faced death and peril countless times, and I'd always made it out alive - but this? This was something so foreign. So new. So much more than I could have guessed. It almost hurt to look at her, but it hurt far more when I looked away.
"Look, I don't have the finer details. I just have the answers." He breezed up beside me, putting his hand on my shoulder in an attempt to ease my worry. It did little to calm the tempest in my chest.
"Great. What a fantastic relief. Thanks for all your help." Rolling my eyes sardonically, I turned from the couch. The armchair facing the door gave me a clear view of my slumbering soulmate, and my two coven mates. I plopped down with an exasperated sigh. My stomach felt like lead, and a fine tension was wound across every one of my muscles. Anxious wasn't even close to the right word to describe my mood.
"I'm going to see that sarcasm, and raise you with ignoring it. I need you to relax though, Jazz. You're projecting." His face twisted some, as he moved to stand next to his mate. I furrowed my brows and offered them both an apologetic look, trying to draw my billowing emotions back in on myself.
"Jasper, you know we're not going to hurt her. You'll be able to tell the second one of us even considers making her a meal." Charlotte chimed in, as if reading my troubled mind. She was right, and I knew it - but I still couldn't forgive myself.
"What if she's scared? What if she wakes up and freaks out? I took her here without even thinking." I could feel my face twist in regret. What had I been thinking? I could have taken her anywhere. A police station. A hospital. Somewhere safer than here. Somewhere she'd be taken care of.
"Then you can calm her. You don't have to keep her here, Major. In fact I know you wouldn't keep her against her will - and I absolutely know you'd never hurt her." Peter nodded firmly, and I felt the truth from him. He knew I wouldn't hurt her - knew without a shadow of a doubt - then it too was absolute. I felt my shoulders relax some, the tension dissipating slowly. "It's all gonna work out, you just have to trust me. You at very least got her out of the cold rain - if anything you just saved her life."
"Exactly! Now - Peter and I are going to go hunt. It'll take a while for us to get to Seattle and back so you'll have some alone time with the little miss." I silently thanked Charlotte for the gesture. Not only did I want time alone with my sleeping angel, I also wanted the two of them as fed as possible while around her. If for nothing other than my own peace of mind. The couple still drank human blood, and I was acutely aware of how alluring the scent coming off of my mate was.
"That's probably a good idea. Do you think she'll be alright alone here for a while? I need to hunt myself. Something distracted me before I could catch anything." I sent Peter a furious glare, but he met it with a sparkling grin. He knew I'd meet her in the woods, and he hadn't warned me about it. He must have known I wouldn't have slipped, but I would have liked a heads up at least.
"She'll be fine Jazz. She's out like a light." Peter's reply was honest. It helped me settle my nerves enough to follow them out the door.
We parted ways without further word, the pair heading north-east while I headed west. I didn't dare go too far from the cabin. It only took me half an hour to find and drain a few deer. Not my first choice, but I didn't have time to be picky. It was enough to sate the burning in my throat.
As soon as I was finished, I set off toward the cabin again at full speed. No sooner was I through the door, with barely enough time to shut it behind me, when I was hit with another sledgehammer. The radiating and searing sorrow from my angel nearly razed me entirely. She was still sleeping - dreaming likely of whatever caused her this pain. I sent her all the serenity I could gather, willing it to permeate through her as quickly as I could.
Her pain ceased quickly, and she was still for a long while. Peaceful. Calm. I'd helped her again, and again found myself full of the purest joy. My eyes settled on the flickering fireplace, as I reveled in it. Knowing that I could take away her pain - if even for a short while - made me thankful for my gift. Perhaps for the first time in my long life. Truly thankful that I had this power - power I'd never asked for, never wanted. Power I'd come to despise over the years, but was now elated to have.
I'd been so lost in my musings, that when she began to whimper I didn't notice. At least, not at first. It wasn't until she was murmuring in her sleep that I tore my gaze from the flames. The words were garbled at first, but the closer she came to waking, the clearer they became.
"I'm coming!" My brows furrowed deeply. Who was she talking to? There was a desperation about the words - a near pleading, as if it were a question and not a statement. I shifted to stand slowly, still holding back. Pain began to bubble up from her again, and I prepared myself to take it away if it became too much.
"You don't want me?" Within seconds, I was on the ground. The pain that had surged so violently, that I was taken completely off guard and sent directly to my knees. Everything around me rippled out of view, and my hands clutched my chest tightly. I'd never felt such a feeling, and I couldn't put my finger on what it was at first. It wasn't until her whimpering mumbles turned into sobs that I realized I'd just felt her heart break.
It was as if my own heart had shattered - burst into a billion tiny shards of glass that tore the very fabric of my being in half. Is this what she had been feeling in the woods? No. This was much worse. Somehow I knew that what I felt in the woods - that impossible blinding pain - was a tempered version. A ghostly afterimage. She must have been dreaming about the moment it happened. How could this small human feel so much? Did she feel everything this deeply? Was she an empath too?
I didn't have long to linger on the thought. I had just enough time to regain my composure, before she began to scream. With the force of a thousand nuclear bombs, her shrieking tore through my ears. There was a feral pain there - a raw and unbridled emotion that threatened to tear me apart.
I scrambled as fast as I could to her side, taking her face into my hands. With everything I had in me, I tried to will her to calmness as I spoke. "Hey! Hey, hey, shhh..." I swept my thumbs over her cheeks, staring hopelessly down at her as she began to thrash against me, holding her as still as I could. "It's alright."
"Wh-...?" Her chocolate eyes finally opened, as she separated herself from her dream. I could feel reality pouring back into her senses. I watched her scan the room, and felt as her panic simmered into a dull anxiety, before fizzling out entirely. She was calm again, entirely of her own volition. There was a calm pause before either of us spoke again.
"Why didn't you kill me?" Her soft question gutted me, as she pulled her knees into her chest. I carefully took a seat across from her, hesitating before I pulled my hand away from her. I wanted to touch her - I wanted to never stop touching her - but I wasn't going to crowd her space.
"Because I don't want to hurt you." My honest reply seemed to confuse her. To be honest, that was the first sensible reaction she'd had toward me thus far. I knew she could feel the pull between us - if only slightly. Somewhere in her, she'd feel it too, though being human would certainly dull her senses.
"Why?" That was a question I didn't have an answer to. Not a simple one anyway, and certainly not one I was going to lay on her now. Not yet. Not until I was absolutely certain she wanted the truth - without a shadow of a doubt. I had to change the subject.
"What's your name?" That was as good of a distraction as I could think of. Thankfully, it worked.
"I'm immortal darlin'. I got nothing but time." There was something about the way she looked at me after I'd made that remark that disarmed me. It'd been a small gesture to me, but I could tell without having to try that it'd meant something to her. Did people not often give her room to voice her truths?
"Right - of course. I just don't know exactly where to begin." I watched as Bella tucked another stray strand of her wild sable hair behind her ear. A nervous tick, I'd come to realize. She wasn't scared of me - though truthfully I still didn't understand why entirely - but she was nervous.
"The beginning is usually a safe bet." I offered her gently, the faintest hint of amusement in my voice. I was doing everything I could to appear cavalier about our situation.
"God, it's so much. Are you sure you-" I held my hand up before she could continue. Though it was charming, her complete magnanimous nature and desire to make me comfortable in this situation was misguided at best. As if she were inconveniencing me. As if she possibly could.
"I'm absolutely sure, Bella. I've got all the time in the world." Somewhere in the back of my mind, I made a note of her compassion. It seemed she rarely thought of herself in regard to wants and needs. I waited patiently for her to speak again, giving her my full and undivided attention.
"Then I guess I should start with moving back to Forks. I used to live here when I was younger. When Renee and Charlie - that's my mom and dad. When they split up my mom took me to California, though I don't remember very much about it. I was five months old when we left here, and about five years old when we moved from California to Arizona. I started spending one month out of every summer here when I was about eight..." She trailed off, her face twisting in apology. She raked a hand through her messy tresses, and sighed softly. "God, this must be so boring, I'm sorry."
"You're not boring me. Believe me, I'm listening." I shook my head softly, but made no move to speak again. I wanted her to understand that this was her time. If no one else in her life gave her the time of day, the freedom to express herself the way she wanted to, I at very least would.
"A-alright uh... well, I moved back here to live with Charlie in January of last year. Renee got remarried and to be honest I got tired of being her mother." Yet again, her face twisted, though this time it rang with regret. I could feel that she instantly felt bad about what she'd said, though there was truth to her words. It was clearly a complex matter. "That sounded harsh, I didn't ... I mean I love my mom I just-" She pinched the bridge of her nose, and I couldn't help but bite the inside of my cheek. It was adorable. I was overcome by the urge to kiss her then, out of nowhere. I shoved it aside as quickly as it came, swift to slam down the iron gate on my own emotions. When she finally looked back up to me - which really only took a few seconds - I was every bit as stoic and calm as I had been before she looked away. "That's a story for another time, I guess."
"Complicated, right?" A slight tilt of my head sent heart beat askew for a moment. I was beginning to notice a theme there, but filed it away. Perhaps she just had some sort of heart murmur? It only ever seemed to show itself when I moved certain ways. Strange.
"Right." Bella cleared her throat softly, and continued. "I met Edward when I moved here-" I held up my hand for a moment, having felt a shadow of her now familiar pain when she spoke the name.
"Edward's the one who made you feel like you were feeling in the woods?" Careful not to let my irritation toward this Edward slip through, I held my jaw tight after speaking.
"Y-yes. He is - he was my boyfriend. He's also a vampire." There was a pain written on her face as she finally got the sentence out. A pain that resonated deeply, reaching all the way up to her eyes.
I'm sorry what? I felt myself combust for a moment - a primal and territorial rage that licked every single one of my nerves. I clamped down on it, pushing it away quickly before I could project it. Her ex-boyfriend. A vampire. A fucking vampire? So this was why she knew what I was. All at once I had a million questions.
"Wait, wait, wait … your ex was a vampire? How did that even happen? Did he tell you he was a vampire? If The Volturi find out they'll-" I was speaking nearly too fast for human ears to dictate, and her surprise and slight frustration stopped me in my tracks, just as she held both of her hands up.
"Hang on!" Her eyebrows were drawn together tightly, but the slight amusement in her tone told me she wasn't angry. I was thankful for that. "I'll explain it in more detail."
"My apologies - I seem to have gotten ahead of myself. Go on." I settled back into my self-control, allowing myself to relax once again.
"That's okay. I understand the confusion." She offered me a genuine smile, and my stone-faced exterior nearly crumbled. Her radiance was unmatched even by the sun. The burning star in the sky was nothing more than a dying candle in comparison to the brilliance and beauty of her smile. Focus, Jasper. "I met Edward and his siblings - Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie - in school, and-"
"Sorry, I know I just said to go on but-" I held my hand up again, leaning in closer to her than before. I had to be absolutely certain I'd heard her correctly. "-you're telling me you that these vampires went to school with you?"
"I - well yeah?" She blinked slowly in confusion, her head tilting back a bit.
"You've got to be joking." My tone was flat and cold even to my own ears. She wasn't joking. Why in the fuck?
"I'm not!" She chuckled out the words, and held her hands up in her defense.
"I know you're not. That's what's so concerning. Why would they put an entire community at risk like that?" Vampires. In a high school. A close quartered, rural high school, packed to the brim with hormonal teenagers. What in the absolute fuck? I could think of no reason why that would even be attempted.
"I don't know, I guess I never really thought about it." I felt myself growing angry - not at her response, but at the absurdity of the prospect.
"I mean, fuck! That's got to be the most reckless and unnecessary thing I've ever heard of. Why would they-" I stopped speaking when I heard her laughter. It was effervescent - bubbling up and spilling over into a sweet song of giggles. I couldn't stop the smile that tugged in the corners of my lips as I watched her - a slight laugh escaping me as I asked, "Why are you laughing?"
"I'm - haha!" She snorted and wiped her eyes, taking a few deep breaths. "I'm sorry, it's just - your face!"
"What about my face?" Absentmindedly I reached up to touch my cheek. Was there blood on my face?
"You just look so …" She settled, trailing off. I felt it then. The thick batting wings of butterflies in my stomach. They were hers - mostly. She was blushing again, and her face twisted in embarrassment. She knew I could feel it. I knew she knew I could feel it. There were no words exchanged for a while. I didn't want to further embarrass her - at the same time I didn't want to do something untoward. I stopped myself from leaning into her, stopped myself from taking her delicate face in my hands once again, stopped myself from kissing her. I wanted to - God did I want to - but I wasn't going to make any move toward her. Not yet. I cleared my throat after a time - a useless gesture to break the electric silence we'd fallen into.
"So you met your vampire ex-boyfriend, and his vampire siblings in high school." I tilted my head to her, and she nodded in response. "Wonderful." My sarcasm was thick, and she smiled softly for it. "I'll try not to interrupt you again. Please, continue."
"Yes - well, where was I?" I was quiet as I let her collect her thoughts. Truthfully, I just found the way she bit her bottom lip when she was thinking earthshakingly attractive. I wanted to be the one biting those lips. I wanted to- No! Control yourself, Jasper! "Oh, right. Meeting Edward and The Cullens. His siblings seemed to like me - Alice and Emmett anyway. Rosalie was cold, but I think she worried about the safety of the family more than anything else. Carlisle and Esme were their adoptive parents - or at least that's what they told everyone."
"Parents? So, their coven leaders?" My curiosity was once again piqued. A coven acting as a family? That seemed like a train that could derail at any given moment.
"Something like that, yeah." Bella nodded idly as she continued. "Edward was quite cold toward me at first, but he came around quickly. It didn't take me very long to figure out what he was. A few days searching the libraries and the internet gave me most of my answers. The Quileute tribe solidified the rest - or rather, one of the members - my best friend Jacob."
"Quileute?" The name rang a bell somewhere in the back of my mind. It took me a moment to connect the dots. The memory of learning about shapeshifters sprang to me after some digging. Not every tribe was the same - sometimes they'd take the form of bears, or large cats. Usually a predator. Something that could protect their individual tribes. The Quileute's were ancient - not nearly as old as vampires themselves, but there was enough history on them to dictate their existence. I'd read about them before, and I remembered what they were. Wolves. "You know of their history then?"
"Yes - though Jacob didn't realize the truth when he told me about their legends. He thought they were just stories back then, but I knew better." Of course she did. My beautiful Bella. She was so disarmingly intelligent, so well-read and quick to put puzzles together without any outside help. It didn't shock me at all that she figured it out all on her own. "He himself phased for the first time about a month and a half ago. He still hasn't talked to me about it, but he went missing for a week and came back looking like a linebacker. I sorta put two and two together." I wondered idly if she realized just how amazing she truly was. Though, the constant buzz of self-loathing I felt within her answered that for me.
"So your best friend is a werewolf and you ex-boyfriend is a vampire." I found myself nearly at a loss for words. Big brown eyes stared at me for a moment, before she nodded in agreement. "You are quite possibly the strangest human I've ever met, Isabella Swan."
"I'm not sure if that's a compliment or an insult." Her laughter blessed my ears again, and I felt my composure slipping. "But I'll take it as a compliment." The silence settled in again, more electrifying than the last. The longer we stared at each other, the harder it was to hold myself back. I nearly gave in, when she took a deep breath inward. Reaching for her pocket she pulled out her phone and glanced down at it. "Shit, it's getting late."
"Would you like to leave? I can bring you home. We can finish this absurd story some other time." I didn't want her to leave, but I at very least wanted to offer her an out. If she wanted to go, I wouldn't hold her back. At every turn I was going to remind Bella that she was in charge. In charge of her fate, and mine.
"No, no. I just - let me call Charlie." She took a deep breath, scrolling through her phone. Her thumb twitched as it hovered over the call button. "I'll tell him I'm staying over Angela's tonight."
"You want to stay the night?" It took me by surprise, and all at once eased my worries and reignited them too. I prayed that Peter and Charlotte gorged themselves, because her scent was going to drive them insane otherwise. Though in that moment I realized I hadn't yet been bothered by it since bringing her home. There was an ache in my throat, surely, but the bloodlust was entirely in check. Perhaps knowing she was my mate made it impossible for me to want to drain her. Or perhaps it was something else entirely. Either way, I was thankful for it.
"Yeah, if that's alright." There was a slight hesitation in her voice, but I was quick to disarm it.
"Of course, by all means." I offered her a genuine smile, and held back the urge to laugh as I heard her heart skip another beat. She returned the gesture, taking a deep breath before pressing the button on her phone.
I listened - though not entirely intentionally - as the dial tone turned to ringing. One, two, three, four... and then the line picked up.
"Bells! Where've you been, I was worried sick!" Charlie's voice rang through the ear-piece, tinny and slightly static.
"Hey dad - I've been out with Angela. We took a trip to Port Angeles. I forgot to text you. I-I'm sorry." Wow. What an absolutely horrible poker face. I bit my cheek again to keep from laughing outright. She looked like a fish out of water, her eyes flickering every which way, and her fingers drumming tensely on her leg.
"Port Angeles? Wha-? Uhhh..." He knew she was lying - though he made no effort to call her on it. I could tell just by his voice. I respected him in that moment, for letting her get away with it. He wanted to save her the embarrassment. "It's fine Bella. You comin' home tonight, or should I lock up after the game?"
"Uhm, I - I'm gonna spend the night here, if that's cool." I didn't think it were possible, but somehow she blushed a deeper shade of red.
"Uh-huh. You're a big girl, Bells. It's good to hear you're spending time outside of your room. You know how worried I've been." Her face twisted with guild, and I instinctively laid my hand on top of hers. Her mouth went slightly slack as she looked down at out hands, then back up to me. Her attention was pulled back into her conversation, but our eyes stayed locked. "Just let me know next time, so I don't do something drastic, like form a search party, or track down The Cullens and shoot Edward in the foot." I held back a laugh. I decided then that I liked this Charlie Swan.
"I will. Thanks dad. I love you." Her eyes fluttered as she struggled to blink. Had she been trying not to? The thought amused me.
"I love you too Bells. Have a good night." She pressed the end button, and tossed her phone onto the couch in front of her.
"Sorry about that." Her grimace was all at once adorable and cutting. She genuinely felt bad about the conversation, but I wasn't sure why. Did she always feel this way? Like she was some sort of burden?
"Please, it's fine. You're a horrible liar though." I decided to distract her.
"That doesn't mean much coming from an empath." She chuckled, shaking her head as her brows knit together defensively. I could tell she was returning the playfulness.
"I think even without my pathokinesis I'd be able to tell you were lying. I'm pretty sure you're sweating." I reached out to run the back of my hand over her forehead, and she shuttered softly. I pulled my hand back instantly, fearing I'd hurt her - but I found that she was blushing again, staring at me through half-lidded eyes. I felt my entire being pulse for a moment, clearing my throat and making a quick point of changing the subject.
"So, this Edward." I spoke softly, pulling my hand away from hers after a moment. I felt her disappointment, nearly returning it as soon as I'd taken it off. I steeled myself though, and carried on. "Why did he leave you?"
"Well, I'm not a hundred percent sure. It happened after my 18th birthday. He and his family threw me a party, even though I begged him not to make a big deal about it. I hate surprises, and I hate parties even more." Her disappointment dissipated slowly as she spoke, though her face held the uncomfortable remnants of the memories that were surely playing in her head.
"What happened at this party?"
"I went to open a present and got a papercut on the wrapping paper." I winced noticeably, but she carried on. "Alice lost control for a moment, and tried to attack me." She didn't hear the low throaty grumble that bubbled up from me, thankfully. I had to take a deep breath to calm the rage that boiled up upon hearing this. "Edward made it worse by throwing me out of the way. He didn't mean to, but he threw me into a glass table and well-"
"Fucking idiots." I snarled lowly, my fingers curling into tight fists. I unclenched them just as quickly when I realized that she'd heard me.
"Hm?" A dark brow quirked curiously, and I shook my head.
"Nothing, sorry." My own brows settled firmly into a disappointed scowl. "So they left you after that incident?"
"Yeah." Bella's eyes glazed over a bit, and I could tell she was recalling something incredibly painful to her. I set my jaw, trying to send some peace her way. It seemed to help, because she took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and carried on. "Edward took me into the woods one day after school. Told me to take a walk with him, and then just dropped it on me. They were leaving because Carlisle was supposed to be 10 years older than he looked, and that he didn't want me to come."
We were both mute for a time. This clearly hurt her to speak about, and I wasn't going to push it. Finally, she continued.
"He told me he didn't want me. That I didn't belong in his world, and that I'd never see him again." Her bottom lip threatened to quiver, and I had to restrain another guttural growl. "So far he's kept his promise."
"I'm sorry for all the pain one of my kind has caused you, Bella." I resisted the growing urge to take her into my arms, and settled for placing my hand on hers again. She immediately perked up a bit, though I wasn't going to call her on it.
"It's not your fault, Jasper." She heaved a heavy sigh, shaking her head softly. "I still don't understand why Edward would leave me, when Victoria could hunt me down at any moment."
"Victoria? Is that another vampire?" What in the hell had this girl been through? Why were there so many vampires so deeply woven into her life? How the hell was she still alive?
"Y-yeah." Her shy wince did nothing to calm my growing concerns. "I must've forgotten to mention that part." She offered a sheepish smile, and though I appreciated the sight, it did nothing but make me groan softly.
"What part?" I inclined my head back, ready for some new tragedy or absurd situation to be explained. Bella blinked a few times, before taking a deep breath.
"Well... Uh? To make a rather long story short, Victoria is a nomad who wants me dead. Edward killed her mate James about 8 months ago - he was a tracker. Victoria, James, and Laurent were a coven of sorts, I guess. They came upon us while we were playing baseball one day."
"Baseball?" She didn't seem to notice that I'd stiffened completely. If she did notice, she made no indication. I had to hold myself together for the hundredth time tonight.
"Yeah, I dunno. I'm not a huge fan of sports - kind of a clumsy mess - but it was fun to watch. Until the nomads showed up and James caught a whiff of me." The name James seemed to cause her to shiver each time she said it. I thanked the stars he was dead -for her sake anyway, because if he hadn't been dead by now, he would've been when I got to him.
"A tracker no less. Bella, you're very lucky to be alive." In one night alone she'd told me enough to frighten any normal human to the grave, but she was entirely unphased. Well, not entirely. I could feel her anxiety welling, but it wasn't nearly the level it should have been. Isabella Swan was going to be the death of me.
"I wouldn't be, if Edward and Alice hadn't found me. He lured me to an old dance studio in Phoenix, under the guise of having my mother. I was such a fool to fall for it, but I didn't want to take the chance."
"You followed him? On your own?" I felt her stiffen slightly, and realized my hand had gripped the top of hers a bit too tightly. I loosened my grip and sent her an apologetic look. She paid it no mind, content that I didn't pull my hand away entirely.
"Yes. I thought I could reason with him." Her heavy sigh indicated that she felt foolish about it. I wasn't going to berate her for something in the past, so I let it lay. Still, her courage was compelling - I found myself idly wondering what kind of menace she'd be if she were turned. Anyone who got in her way would sorely pay the price. The thought made me smile.
"I'm not sure if I'm impressed by your bravery, or concerned that you seem to have absolutely no sense of self-preservation." Her laughter once again kissed my ears, and I found myself enthralled once again. I felt a soft purr rumble in my chest, but knew she'd be unable to hear it. I was thankful for that.
"You know, I get that a lot." Her shoulders rose and dipped again in a small shrug.
"What happened when you confronted him?" I asked after a pause.
"He bit me." She pulled her right sleeve up with her teeth, holding out her wrist to me. I winced as I glanced down at the crescent shaped scar that glittered on her wrist. Even in the dim firelight of the cabin, I could see the fractals bouncing off of it. I felt a hefty pang of sadness in my chest. Bella deserved better than that. "Thankfully he was the kind of guy who liked to play with his food. Edward and Alice got there before he could go in for the kill. Edward sucked the venom out of me before I could complete the change."
"That must've taken a fair bit of strength. I'll give him that much." I rumbled gruffly - I didn't have to like Edward to respect him. And I respected him for keeping Bella human. It meant that if and when she wanted to turn, I could be the one to do it. I wouldn't let anyone else near her to try. And I certainly wasn't going to force her into it. When the decision was made, it would be entirely her own. Idly, my left hand moved toward her wrist, fingertips lightly grazing the scar that marred her wrist.
"You're scarred like me." I whispered after a moment, pulling back both my hands to lift both my sleeves up. She could hardly see them in this light - hardly at all even in the best light, but they were there. I knew she'd only be able to see the deepest ones, the ones that left the biggest marks. Normally, I tried to keep them covered. At least when I was around Peter and Charlotte. The scars served as warnings to other vampires, and it almost always made them uncomfortable. For every scar on my skin there was a dead vampire. Still, I let her see them.
"Jasper … there's so many." Her voice came in the softest of tones, hushed and hesitant. She reached out, pulling my arms into her lap - truthfully, I let her. She wouldn't have been able to move me if I hadn't.
"Well, I've been alive a long time. Had to fight to survive." I watched as she poured over them, tracing them all with the slightest of touches. Each pass over each scar sent a shiver down my spine. The slightest of touches were amplified on the healed skin there. I struggled to keep still, and focused on her face. I waited for the fear to flicker over her, but it never came.
"They're beautiful." She breathed out the phrase as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Pardon?" I blinked several times, my face twisting in confusion. Beautiful? She said they were beautiful? Had I heard that right?
"Your scars - they're beautiful. You're every bit as spotted and speckled as the gemstone you're named after." She looked up at me, big brown doe eyes sparkling in the firelight. I felt myself melt into her, taking every ounce of willpower I had to keep from pulling her toward me. She couldn't hear as my breath hitched in my throat, and surely wouldn't notice the venom that glossed over my eyes in this light. Beautiful? I nearly shattered.
"I … Thank you." She let my arms go after a moment, and slid her left hand back underneath mine. I was thankful for the gesture, as I pulled myself back together. Neither of us mentioned the gesture. "This Victoria - she's still hunting you?"
"As far as I know, yes." A slight nod had another one of her wild, stray pieces of hair falling over her eyes. I reached out and tucked it back without much thought, and relished in the soft blush it awarded me.
"And Edward left you knowing there was a vengeful vampire out for your blood." I nearly growled, but set my jaw firmly to hold it in for her.
"Y-Yes." Her soft broken voice weighed so heavily in my ears. I wanted to cradle her to my chest, and hold her away from the world - but I was once again determined to let her have her space. I wasn't going to rush her into forever. I refused to. I had all the time in the world of my beautiful Isabella.
"I see." I murmured my reply, unable to find the words I wanted to express. My hatred for Edward grew exponentially, and my anger with the situation Bella had been left in fueled it. How could anyone ever hurt this beautiful creature? It made no sense.
Another silence fell over us like a ritual. It felt like a ritual anyway, with the frequency it happened. We'd talk for ages, and fall into silence that spoke louder than words. Gently, I felt her hand move underneath mine - I hadn't realized that I'd kept it over hers all this time. Slowly, her hand drew back from mine, my own hand mirroring the gesture. The tips of our fingers pressed together, pushing back on one another just slightly. Her breath shuttered softly - breaking the stillness we'd fallen into - as she languidly laced her fingers with mine, weaving our hands together like a fine quilt.
If my heart had been beating, it surely would have stopped. For a time, there was another soft serenity between us - as if neither one of us had the courage to acknowledge it, or break the quiet spell that wrapped round us like a swaddled newborn. I couldn't tell you how long we stayed this way, frozen in time. I lost count of her heartbeats, too focused on her mahogany eyes and the peculiar feeling that had pooled between us. A gentle calm, a perfect trust, an unspoken oath. She'd taken my hand because it offered her comfort, because she felt safe, because she wanted to touch me too. I was sure of it - I could feel it.
I had never felt so honored in my life, never felt so accepted by anyone, never felt so entirely seen. Without fear, without hesitation, without threat. And she did see me - she made it so clear as she took my hand in hers, that she saw me for what I was, for what I would be, for what I wanted to be. She saw my scars, and found nothing but beauty in them. She knew my past - parts of it anyway, and she still accepted me. I loved her for it - already. Even in the earliest stages of things, I felt my love blooming and I made no attempts to tame it. I made another vow in that moment - the second vow in that day alone, the second of many. I was going to protect her - that much I had already vowed. What's more is I was going to love her. I was going to love Isabella Swan with everything I had in me. Nothing would ever touch her again - at least not and live to tell the tale.
"Don't worry about this Victoria." I broke the silence, reaching up to cup her cheek with my free hand. She leaned into it instantly.
"What do you mean?" Her eyes fluttered closed for a moment, and I was free to take in her beauty. My breath hitched again, and I held back the growing urge to press my lips against her skin.
"I mean you're safe now." I wanted to send her a taste of my blooming love, but resigned myself to sending her my sincerity instead. "I'm not going to let her touch you."
"Jasper, you don't have to-" Her eye fluttered open as she began to protest, but I cut her off before she could carry on. I let my hand drop from her cheek, and shook my head.
"Think nothing of it." I could feel her appreciation wafting over to me, and wondered if she knew she was projecting it to me. I also felt her exhaustion peeking through "I'll let Charlotte and Peter know we'll be moving a bit closer to Forks."
"Are you sure? What about this place?" She turned to take in the scene around her, barely holding back a yawn.
"As much as I enjoy squatting in hunting cabins, we were never going to be here forever." She rolled her eyes at me, but nodded after a moment. "We'll find something closer to you. You'll have three highly trained vampires at your beckon call."
"Why would you do that for me?" She lofted a curious brow, her head canting back a bit.
"Just a feeling." I wasn't about to tell her about our connection. I certainly wasn't going to mention that I was already falling for her. Absolutely not. That would be too alarming - even to someone with such a decidedly awful sense of self-preservation.
"A feeling?" Her curiosity reached out, tickling my senses.
"Mhm. A gut feeling." I offered her a cheeky smile, and moved off of the couch, reluctantly pulling my hand from her. Once again her disappointment flooded me, but I brushed it aside. Patience. "I tend to trust them."
"You're tired, Bella. Get some sleep. I'll be here when you wake up, I promise you." I moved to sit in the armchair again, making sure I could see her clearly. She opened her mouth to protest, but huffed softly as she settled back into the couch. I snickered softly, shaking my head. Even though she knew I knew better, she'd thought to protest it. Stubborn girl. I adored her all the more for it.
Before long she was asleep again, and I watched over her fondly as I buried myself in a book. Anything to make the time until her waking pass quickly. Nothing really held my attention very long - I was too busy thinking about the future. I knew that I would follow her, wherever she wished to go. Anywhere, anytime. As long as she wanted me near, I'd be there.
Always.
Phew! There it is. Chapter four! I hope you like it!
Forgive any spelling/editing errors. I'm exhausted. If I catch them after I re-re-re-read it, I'll fix them.
No worries, and be well! xo