XXXV. The Accidental Murder of Mr. Brown

"Can you believe him?" Jessica was complaining, shoving her books into her locker with more force than necessary. "He seriously had to schedule it for today? On a Friday?!"

"Hey, just be glad he's allowing you to make up the exam at all," I said, leaning back against the neighboring locker. "You got a B- the first go round. A retake is pretty much uncalled for."

"Plus, they'll be finalizing grades for the third quarter soon," Angie reminded her from her other side. "Mr. Jefferson will need time to grade retakes before that."

"Ugh, I guess you guys are right," she admitted, shutting her locker and shouldering her school bag. "But it's Friday."

I patted her shoulder sympathetically.

"What are you whining about now, Jess?" Lauren demanded, joining our group, sipping daintily at her latte.

"I have to retake my government exam after school―"

Lauren held up her free hand. "Forget I asked."

Jessica pouted.

"Anyway," Lauren continued, tucking a long strand of hair behind her ear, "I was thinking we should come over to my place today, after your test or whatever. You can help me choose what to wear for tomorrow. And we can pick out a couple of CDs. We have to bring my stereo of course and―"

I glanced up, curious as to what had finally gotten Lauren to shut up.

And directly across the way, I noticed Tyler at his locker, where a freshman girl was chatting him up.

It shouldn't have been an issue, considering him and Lauren were currently off. But I suppose, someone forgot to mention that to Lauren, because she started foaming at the mouth, styrofoam cup creasing dangerously beneath her fingertips.

"Come on, Lor, let's go to class," Jessica suggested, voice coming out as a squeak.

"In a minute," she hissed, narrowed green eyes following the path of the freshman girl, until she disappeared into the girls' bathroom. "First, I have some business to take care of."

Jessica shot me a wide-eyed look. "Isabella! Do something!"

"Why me?"

Lauren could barely stand me on a good day.

"Come on," Angela urged, and so we hurried after her, before she could murder the innocent freshman.

We reached the bathroom just as another girl scurried out, likely chased off by Lauren, and rushed inside.

"Lauren, back off," I said, eyeing the small brunette who she'd cornered by the sinks. "I think you've done enough damage for one day."

"I don't need your help, Isabella," snapped the freshman, startling me. I hadn't realized she knew my name. Although in a school this small, it wasn't so odd.

I hummed in acknowledgment. "My mistake."

On either side of me, Angela and Jess shifted uncomfortably, likely thrown off by the brash underclassman.

"As for you, Lauren," she continued, hissing up at the tall blonde, "You don't scare me. Tyler is so over your games. You're starting to look desperate."

I exchanged a wide-eyed glance with Jessica.

Lauren laughed. "Paige you're, what? Fourteen? Tyler isn't interested in kids."

"I'm fifteen!"

"Could've fooled me," Lauren sneered. "Cake your face with makeup and stuff your bra all you want. It's not going to hide your baby fat, and it's certainly not going to make you attractive. Face it, Tyler's never going to look at you as more than that little sixth grader who wet her sleeping bag on our middle school camping trip."

Paige grew red in the face, looking close to tears.

Beside me, Angela whispered, "Lauren, no…"

I sighed.

"You guys are ridiculous, fighting over a boy," I said, stepping forward and tugging Lauren back into our group. "Tyler's more concerned with beating out Mike at tryouts, and you're over here fighting over him, like he actually gives a shit about any of this."

Lauren shook off my grip and smirked. "You're right, Isabella. This is a complete waste of our time."

Paige angrily wiped at her face. "Then why did you look so threatened by me moments ago?"

"A small case of irrationality, I'm guessing," Lauren snickered. "But you're just a dumb kid."

"And you're a bitch!"

Splash!

"Oops," Lauren said flatly, chucking her empty disposable coffee cup into the trash can.

"Miss Mallory!" Mrs. Goff gasped behind us. "What is the meaning of this?"

I sighed again. I'm too old to be dealing with this shit.

The good news was, the coffee Lauren had poured over Paige had been lukewarm, meaning no one was physically hurt in the middle of their altercation.

The bad news was, all of us―excluding Paige and the girl who'd run off to grab a teacher―had to serve detention after school, meaning my time at the Cullen's would be cut short before I'd have to head home for dinner.

"Why you repeat high school, is something I will never understand," I grumbled, dragging my feet as Edward walked me to detention.

"We can stay longer in one place―"

"―If you start out younger," I cut in. "Yes, yes, I know the spiel."

Edward grinned. "And generally, we don't become too entrenched in human affairs."

"Understandable," I conceded. "You don't mind, returning to pick me up?"

"Don't be absurd," he rolled his eyes, just as we reached the detention classroom. "Of course I don't mind. You're not a burden."

I smiled softly. "Just checking."

He leaned down and brushed his lips gently against my cheek. "I'll be back in an hour."

"Alright. Don't miss me too much," I winked.

He laughed. "You know I will."

I slipped my hand away from his and stepped into the class with a grin. Unsurprisingly, I was the first one there.

I slid into a chair in the second row and dug out another book Edward had let me borrow.

I had barely gotten through the first page, when Jessica showed up in a whirlwind.

I set my book down. "…Are you okay?"

Jessica dumped her binder, notebooks, and textbook atop the desk beside me with a deafening slam.

"I convinced Mr. Jefferson to come back after our detention, so that I can take the test," she gasped, slumping down into her chair. "You guys were right. Today is my last chance to retake this."

"That's good," I smiled. "I'm sorry you'll have to stay so late."

"Don't remind me," she muttered, flipping open her government textbook and leaning forward with a look of intense concentration.

I refrained from interrupting her study session, and returned to my book.

It was only a few minutes later when Lauren and Angie walked in. Lauren was on her phone, arguing with what sounded like Samantha, while Angela appeared exasperated.

They sat directly behind us and Lauren finally snapped her phone shut.

"This is so unfair," Lauren hissed. "I'm missing the newest episode of Lost just because little miss boyfriend-stealer couldn't handle a bit of retaliation."

I set my book down, accepting the fact that I likely wouldn't make much progress. I twisted in my chair and arched an eyebrow. "She didn't even rat you out. We're only here because Mrs. Goff caught you mid-coffee dump."

Lauren scowled. "Whose side are you on, Isabella?"

"I'm in detention because of you," I said flatly. "Do the math."

She rolled her eyes so far back, only the whites were visible. "Whatever," she muttered, flipping her phone back open, thumbs clicking furiously across the number keypad.

I turned back in time to catch Mike entering the room, still dressed in his gym clothes and feet dragging across the tiled floor.

"What are you in for?" I snorted.

"Hey guys," Mike smiled sheepishly and dropped into the seat on Jessica's other side. "…Jess, why on earth are you studying?"

"Mr. Jefferson is letting me do the retake after detention," she glanced up and explained, before shoving her nose back into her book.

"…Alright." Mike shrugged and turned to look at me above her wild curls. "Mr. Varner gave me detention after I accidentally hit him with a plastic gnome in the hallway. Which really bites, because now I'm going to be late to tryouts." He scowled at the reminder.

"You've been attending all week," I told him. "I'm sure it won't hurt your chances in the least bit."

"Tell that to Tyler," he grumbled.

I laughed. "Take it easy, Mike. Tyler's just trying to psych you out."

"I guess so. What about you guys? How'd you end up here?" he grinned abruptly.

I didn't bother with an answer. He knew perfectly well why we were stuck in detention. Everyone knew. Fork High's small student population had definitely had field day with Lauren's little stunt this morning. And as usual, the rumors had spiraled out of control. I'd given up on trying to clarify anything after someone accused me of holding Paige down while Lauren burned her face off with scalding-hot coffee.

I simply couldn't win.

The last straggler to walk in was Vincent, AKA Fork High's resident asshole. He was being escorted by Mr. Brown, who would be supervising our detention.

I grimaced, when Vincent made the executive decision to sit on my free side.

He grinned.

"Detention is starting now," Mr. Brown announced, heaving his overweight body into the chair behind the teacher's desk at the front of the room. "Put away all personal items, or they will be confiscated."

I hastily tucked Edward's book back into my backpack.

Behind me, I heard Lauren hiss, "Is he for real?!"

"Do as he says," Angela suggested gently. "He'll take away your phone otherwise."

"Unbelievable. Samantha is supposed to be texting me live updates," she grumbled.

Going by Angela's lack of response, I assumed Lauren had done as told.

"Miss Stanley, that includes you as well," Mr. Brown said.

"B-but I have a test after this. I have to study!"

"That is not my concern."

"Mr. Brown, please. This is my last chance―"

Jessica's voice cut off, eyes wide, watching as Mr. Brown heaved himself to his feet and lumbered over in her direction. "The book, Miss Stanley," he said, holding out a meaty paw, "Hand it over."

With tears in her eyes, Jessica obeyed.

I scowled, wondering how I could possibly intervene without making the situation worse.

"Wait for it," Vincent muttered beside me.

I turned to him. "For what?"

"Just watch," he smirked, gesturing towards where Mr. Brown had settled back into his chair.

I shrugged and turned to Jessica. Already, Mike was holding her hand, muttering something too quiet for me to hear.

Reassured that she was being comforted, I settled back in my seat, watching Mr. Brown with an irritated scowl.

Behind me, Lauren muttered, "Asshole."

For once, I agreed with her.

It was when Mr. Brown leaned his fleshy red face against a fist, that I realized what Vincent had meant. Already, his eyelids drooped heavily.

Before long, soft snores echoed throughout the gray classroom.

"Is this guy for real?" Mike said, incredulous.

"This happens every time Mr. Brown supervises detention," Vincent snickered.

Lauren leaned around me to eye Vincent up. "So, if I were to make a call, he wouldn't wake up?"

"Nope," he winked at her.

"Perfect," she grinned, and reached into her pocket.

"…Mike, what the fuck," I said, watching as he jumped to his feet and began stretching.

"I'm missing the first half of today's tryouts for this," he reminded me, bending his forearm above and behind his head. "I need to get warmed up now if I have any chance of kicking Tyler's ass today."

"Jess, I don't think that's the best idea."

Jessica and Angela stood at Mr. Brown's desk now. Unfortunately, the elbow of the arm supporting his fat head, was resting atop Jessica's textbook.

"We can do this, Angie," Jess insisted. "If not, I'm totally screwed!"

Behind me, Lauren cursed and leaped to her feet, "Shit, hold on, Samantha. The reception in this building stinks!"

I sighed and dug my book back out.

I had only reached the second page, when a finger began prodding at the front cover. "What are you reading?"

I glared at Vincent. "Can't you read the title?"

"Well duh," he wrinkled his nose and ran his hand across the light brown of his buzz cut. "But I don't recognize it from class."

"It's not for class."

"No joke?" he snickered. "You read for fun?"

"Yep."

"Why?" Vincent appeared genuinely flabbergasted.

I paused, when I realized he was expecting an answer. Although he didn't pick on me much, he never had anything nice to say, let alone have interest in any of my hobbies.

I set my book down again. Guess I'm about to learn this kid a thing about reading for the pure enjoyment of it. "Because it is fun. It's like watching a movie or a TV show; or reading a comic book or manga. But instead, it's just words. The words paint a picture, which you get to imagine however you like."

"No shit?" Vincent gestured towards the book on my desk. "Then what's that one about?"

I glanced towards the delicate, first edition cover of the old book. "I only just started it, but it's basically about a demon writing letters to his nephew, giving him advice on how to best damn the human he's been assigned to, to hell."

Vincent's eyebrows shot up. "Fuck. That actually does sound interesting. Could I borrow it?"

I shook my head. "This one probably wouldn't be the best place to start. It's old, kind of like the books we do read in class."

Vincent smirked. "I'm not a complete dumbass, Isabella. I'm sure I can keep up just fine."

I slapped his hand away, when it dove for the book. "It's not mine to lend out. It's Edward's."

"Oh. Right." Vincent rolled his eyes. "I forgot you were dating Creepy Cullen."

"I think you're the only one who has."

"Sometimes, it's better to pretend none of them exist. Jasper Hale isn't the only one who gives off straight serial killer vibes."

I laughed. "I expect you'll be attending my funeral, then?"

"I expect so," Vincent muttered.

"Lauren, what the hell?" I scowled, hastily sliding my book out of the way as she hopped from Vincent's desk, to mine, and then to Jessica's abandoned one.

"This spot is perfect," Lauren announced. "Okay, Samantha, hold the phone close to the TV and describe exactly what's happening!"

Beside her, Mike started to jog in place.

"Careful, Ange! I almost got it," Jessica hissed, sliding the textbook out from beneath where Angela was cradling Mr. Brown's massive elbow.

"Hurry! His arm is heavy!"

"Got it!"

Unfortunately, Mr. Brown's elbow thumped a little too harshly against the blacktop desk, and he awoke with a strangled gasp.

Angela and Jessica hurriedly backed away.

"W-wha…?!" he inhaled sharply as he struggled to rise to his feet. "What is the meaning of this?! Miss Mallory, come back down from up there!"

"Oh, drop dead, you old geezer," Lauren snapped, and turned back to her cellphone.

"Young lady, I will not repeat myself―" Mr. Brown suddenly gripped the edge of his desk with one hand and clutched his chest with the other, before his rotund body fell and hit the tiled floor with a heavy thud.

For a split second, a crushing silence reigned, and then―

Jessica screamed.

"Jess, what the fuck―" As soon as Lauren saw Mr. Brown's eerily still body, she mumbled, "Samantha, I'm going to have to call you back."

By this point, I'd already dialed 911.

"Nine-one-one, what is your emergency?"

"I think…our teacher is dead."

I leaned heavily against Edward's side where I remained safely tucked under his arm, watching as the ambulance drove away with Mr. Brown's corpse.

Around us, any student or teacher who had stayed after hours, remained gathered, curiously gossiping about the now-dead teacher. Jessica was sobbing into Mike's shoulder, and Lauren was attempting to comfort an inconsolable Angela.

I sighed.

"You didn't see this one coming," Edward guessed.

"Definitely not," I grimaced.

"No offense, but, I get the impression that you don't need supernatural assistance to get yourself into trouble."

"I was perfectly boring and normal, before I came to Forks."

"Didn't you claim to have nearly fallen off a cliff?"

"…That actually happened twice. Now that I think about it, I had a few near-death experiences, before actually dying."

It was Edward's turn to sigh. "You really are hopeless. Also, I expect you will elaborate?"

I smiled sheepishly up at him as he began to lead me away from the crowds and back to his car. "Given what just happened, I guess death is the only appropriate topic for today. Let's start with the near-fatal car crash that occurred at the beginning of 2020…"

A/N: Here we have some human!squad nonsense that I hope y'all enjoyed. I really do hope that was entertaining for everyone. x)

And next up, we'll have some wolfy content combined with our human friends down at First Beach, so that should be interesting! Who else misses Leah?

Let me know what y'all thought of the chapter please! :3 Until next time~!