Room Service

Chapter 14

Seated in her chair behind the reception desk, legs bouncing in time with the whirlwind thoughts circulating in her brain, Lily distractedly takes a large sip of coffee from the tumbler in her hand—and promptly scalds her mouth on the too-hot liquid.

"Shit, fuck," she curses under her breath, rapidly brushing her tongue over the roof of her mouth to ease the burn. After a handful of moments, a resigned sigh filters past her lips, and she sets the tumbler back inside one of the shelves built into the desk. It's been less than fifteen minutes since she's stepped into work, and it has already become quite clear to her that her day ahead isn't going to be much too different from the hours spent back at her flat, lost in musings she really has no right to entertain.

Simply put, Lily knows she's lost her fucking mind.

While James's sudden presence last night had successfully derailed—or, more accurately, delayed—her spiralling thoughts for a bit, her conversation with Euphemia had come back to haunt her just as soon as she'd managed to find some time to spare on her hands. Because even though she's spoken to the woman only once, and over the phone at that, it hadn't been difficult to hear the sincerity in her voice; hadn't taken much for Lily to wonder whether James really is bothered by something that he isn't sharing.

Or, more specifically, if he's bothered by something to do with her.

But the self-obsessed notion of such a consideration doesn't escape her notice, so she tries her damnedest to shut down the thought yet again. For all she knows, he could be troubled by something at work, could have something else brewing in his personal life. Or hell, maybe he's even got romantic woes that have nothing to do with Lily at all. Not that they are romantic, or anything, right now. Not that she wants them to be. But the thought of him fancying someone else…

Oh, bugger.

All of her doubts are quick to slither back in soon, however, when she remembers that Sirius had explicitly mentioned her name, had told Euphemia to ask her when she had questioned him about James's mood.

Why would he have done that if Lily isn't at least marginally involved in the matter? Does that mean that this whole trying-to-be-mates business is weighing just as heavily on James's mind as it is on hers? Or, as she'd so eloquently been told, is Sirius just taking enjoyment out of acting like an arse and stirring shite up?

How the fuck is she to know?

Does she even want to know?

A frustrated groan making it past her throat, Lily slumps forward, spine curling as she drops her head into her hands. Back to square one, it seems. This is very possibly the hundredth time she's let her internal speculation circle round and round in her mind until it has driven her spare. And all she has to show for these wasted hours are dark circles under her eyes and an elevated sense of confusion.

God, she would kill for a barrage of phone calls to distract her right now.

But, as fate would have it, both the intercom and the outside line remain annoyingly quiet on the one day she needs them to ring to death.

With a sigh, she stands up, reaches out to pull the coffee tumbler back to her lips, and takes an experimental sip.

Hm. Much Better.

Figuring there's no point stewing over something she has next to no control over, Lily forces herself to focus on rechecking the booking and guest records on the computer; an exercise she'd already completed within the first five minutes of her arrival, but it can't hurt to be thorough, can it?

It's when she's almost through with her second look over the system that she catches sight of someone across the lobby who turns all of her efforts at appearing nonchalant topsy turvy. After only a few seconds of debate, she makes her decision, moving away from the computer so she can grab his attention while he's passing by the reception. It's a simple enough task, and with a short wave and a 'come here' gesture, Sirius saunters over to the counter with suspicion already glinting in the grey of his eyes and the arch of his brows.

"Yes?"

Lily snorts. "Okay, you don't have to sound so enthusiastic." She nods her head towards the files in his hand. "Work?"

"Yeah, couldn't go to the office. Had too many pizzas and now my stomach is punishing me for it. So, I had to get these delivered here." Out of nowhere, he narrows his gaze. "Hang on, don't tell me you have some strange rule against that, because this is hardly contraband, Evans."

"What? No!" She looks at him weirdly. "Why would we have a problem with that?"

"I don't know. You're the one who asked me about it."

"I was just trying to make small talk!"

"I loathe small talk."

"Fine," Lily snaps, leaning forward with her elbows braced on the desk. "Why did you tell Mrs Potter that she should ask me about what's bothering James?"

In the span of all but a few words, Sirius's entire demeanour shifts; delight swirling like mist in eyes, lips pulling back into a razor-sharp grin, arms moving to mirror her posture, the file caught between them on the counter. She's instantly on edge by this change; worries that she's somehow dug herself a grave here.

"She spoke to you, then, did she?"

She thinks the grit of her teeth might just be loud enough for him to hear. "Why did you tell her that?"

He rolls his eyes. "Like you don't know."

"I really don't."

"Christ, Evans, is giving him mixed signals not enough for you? You want to act oblivious, too?"

The bitterly tossed accusation fairly knocks the wind out of Lily, sends her jaw dropping in affront, her fingertips gripping onto the counter tight enough to turn white. The glare she throws him, then, feels blazing even to her senses, and she fears the heat of it has something to do with the fury pulsing, quick, under her skin. "What did you say?" she seethes.

Something flickers in Sirius's expression at her quiet tone, but the hesitation lasts for only a moment before he moves closer and lowers his voice. "Look. I promised Prongs I wouldn't talk about this with you, but—"

"Don't worry, I'm not going to go crying to him," she huffs immediately. Then, as soon as the thought occurs, adds: "And I told Euphemia I wouldn't say anything about her conversation with me, either, so—"

He nods briskly. "Got it. So we don't say anything."

A peculiar sort of silence falls between them after that, one punctuated with bewildered stares from both sides. Lily wonders whether he's trying to figure her out just as she's trying to do for him. Eventually, Sirius smirks, breaking the awkwardness in the space, and she sighs softly, shaking her head.

"I'm not trying to confuse him, or send him mixed signals."

"I never said you were trying to," he grumbles immediately. "I only said that you were doing it. And that you can't be entirely ignorant of that, not with how obvious James has been about being dumbly head over heels for you."

Jesus.

She feels all the blood instantly rush to her face; anger gone, replaced by mortification. "It was not… he's just been flirting a bit with me, it's nothing that serious. I mean, he hasn't really—said anything—"

"Stop." He looks half-annoyed, half-pained. "Did you or did you not almost snog him?"

Eyes wide, she looks around frantically to make sure no one's heard him, and proceeds to all but flatten herself against the counter to temper the volume of her words. "Can you be a little quieter? Fucking hell." Sirius continues to glare expectantly. "Yes, okay, I did. Almost. But it was just a little slip, and we both agreed it's better if we stayed friends—"

"Oh really," he hisses. "Did you both agree, or did you leave him with no choice but to agree?"

"That's not fair." The frown on her face is quickly turning into a scowl again. "I get to decide what I'm comfortable with, and you can't just—it's none of your business."

"Well, it wouldn't be, if you weren't messing James around so much."

"I'm not," Lily whispers, jaw clenched tight. "I'm trying to do right by both of us. I've told this to him already, but clearly, neither of you seems to understand. I work here, Sirius. And he's a guest. I can't just—it's not right. I could lose my job."

"You wouldn't," he says, grey eyes cold but sharp. "James wouldn't let that happen. Like you so often like to remind us yourself, he's the owner's son, and he has a good amount of sway here. Besides, Euphemia wouldn't let that happen either—"

"Please, don't—" She cuts him off, voice strained. Even through the excited pound of her heart, she forces the honesty out. "I don't want that. I'd feel like… I'd feel really fucking undeserving of this job, of anyone's trust, if it came to that—"

"And you don't want us to move out either?"

"I—no. Because you're still guests here, and if you leave, then there will be questions, and—"

"For fuck's sake, Evans!" He tosses his head back with a groan, looks up at the ceiling as if asking for divine intervention. Lily bites the inside of her cheek and tries to school her expression into something less guilty. "You're making this really difficult when it doesn't have to be. What are you waiting for? To fall in love with him? For him to—"

"Stop it." She pulls in a sharp breath, meets his gaze, steady. "Stop saying things like that. You won't convince me."

Sirius seems to consider her for a few beats, lips pinched contemplatively. It's only when he straightens, head tilted slightly, that she understands him a little better. While she's been thinking of him as nothing but blindly aggressive towards her, perhaps the truth here is something more complex—perhaps he's just trying to see things from her point of view in the only way he knows.

"I may not be able to."

His emphasis bristles something inside her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

But he simply smirks. "You're a strange bird, Evans. I don't understand you fully, and I still don't like how you've been confusing James. But—" he interrupts, when Lily's first instinct is to assert, again, that she never meant to fucking do that! "I reckon you're alright to hang around. You certainly make him laugh."

An unwilling flutter in her chest at the familiar words. "Thanks?"

"You're welcome." Sirius grunts, and she barely stops herself from scoffing. "The point is, Evans, that if you're only interested in being his mate, then be clear about that with him—"

"I've already—"

"And stick to it," he finishes pointedly. With the memories from last night still playing fresh in her mind, she finds that coming up with a retort right then proves to be a difficult task. "Just don't… don't bloody break his heart. I don't give a rat's arse about the rest of it."

It's here, now, that Lily aches to ask him just how much he knows about James and his feelings for her. Greeds to know if he truly fancies her even half the amount that she does him. But the awareness that she's already making this torturous enough, and beyond that, the knowledge that Sirius isn't likely to betray such information anyway, holds her back effectively.

"I won't break his heart," she sighs eventually. "I don't want to hurt him, so you don't need to worry about that."

"I hope you're right, Evans." Sirius pulls the file from the counter, taps it twice against the surface before taking a few steps back. "But I'm afraid neither of us might have a choice when it comes to James."

And then, with those utterly gloomy parting words, he disappears from the lobby.