Thought of the day: why do I feel like Bucky would straight vibe to Bad Romance?
Steve was asleep in his room, but he wouldn't be for much longer. His workout alarm was set to go off in ten minutes; he set it every other day for five thirty in the morning.
He saw it as a productive way to start the morning; then, after he was done, he made himself a protein shake for breakfast and drank a coffee.
When his alarm went off, he shut it off and walked downstairs to fill his bottle of water before he walked to the training room.
He walked down and began delivering blows relentlessly to the punching bag as hard as he possibly could. He put all of his worries into it, all of his sadness about Bucky, all the regrets he had about not being able to talk him out of what he did, and it gave him a motivation that he'd never had before.
Before he knew it, the bag had flown across the room and split open against the opposite wall.
Sand spilled all over the training room floor, but Steve didn't care.
All he wanted was for his friend to come back.
But in the two days since he had read the letters, he knew that he couldn't have that, he had to deal with it in any way that he could.
So why not punch something?
•••
Downtown, the escapee had decided to stop in a small coffee shop to grab something to drink before he returned to where he needed to go.
He was afraid to go back, wondering if he would even be accepted after the stunt he had pulled.
Deep down, he knew that he would be just fine, but the part of him that still had trust issues kept telling him that he wasn't going to be forgiven.
He ordered a plain black coffee and took it outside, walking down the sidewalks of New York City and taking a sip every so often. The bitter taste helped him stay awake, as he had only gotten roughly fifteen hours of sleep in the five days since he had left.
As he walked during the fairly brisk early morning, he kept his free hand jammed into his pocket. He thought about what he would do, what he would say when he returned.
Would he hug someone?
Would he make it subtle, or would he make an event of it?
He didn't know, but he knew that he was going to be able to go home.
That thought sent him over the moon.
When he had first left, he had prepared himself for what he thought was inevitable.
He prepared himself to die.
But now, now that he was alive, he could live the rest of his life and finally get revenge on those who had hurt him for so long.
A grin broke out across his face as he walked along the sidewalks, and he couldn't wait any longer.
He finished off the last of his coffee and threw his empty cup into a trash can and began sprinting through the New York streets and alleys, not waiting for crosswalk lights. There were hardly any people on the sidewalks to obstruct his path, so that allowed him to move that much faster.
He checked the time on his phone that he had charged in the coffee shop; an outlet would have been helpful in the woods to find out how far he really had been from the building where he had been held captive.
He had a smile on his face the entire time as he ran, and when he came up to the door his smile stretched even wider across his face.
He flung the door open, walking inside and looking around for anyone who might be there.
No one was in the kitchen, so he took the elevator up and then heard a message from FRIDAY.
"Mr. Barnes? My systems must be failing me. I should contact Mr. Stark to confirm-"
"FRIDAY, it's me. Don't say anything to Tony. But where is everyone?"
"In the top floor living room, sir."
"Thanks, FRIDAY! I owe you one."
Bucky listened to Tony's oldies rock rotation play in the elevator on his way up, almost jumping up and down with excitement and anticipation.
That was when he looked down at himself and realized that he looked like death. His jeans were ripped and dirty, burned in some places from HYDRA's methods of trying to get him to talk. He had stood his ground and kept his purposes a secret, all while tracking the information he needed to take with him once he left the base.
His jacket was gone; he must have lost that while he was unconscious during the transition from Rumlow's office to the cell. His t-shirt was dirty, ripped, and bloodied above his right hip from another one of HYDRA's methods to get him to talk.
The elevator dinged and then opened, allowing Bucky to walk into the living room, even though he wished he would've changed before he did.
Too late now.
A movie played on TV, and that's when he realized that it was his favorite. It was too loud for anyone to have heard the elevator open, so he decided to make his return as subtle as possible.
He sat down on the empty couch and realized that one of his favorite lines was coming up.
"Oh, he's 'heating the flue'. Meanwhile, the human beings in the room are freezing to death!" Bucky recited the line, and everyone immediately turned.
"JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" Steve inquired, running over and enveloping Bucky in a hug.
"Hey! What? Barnes is back? How long was he sitting there?" Tony asked, looking at Steve and Bucky standing in the middle of the room.
After the short initial shock had settled, everyone piled to the center of the room and hugged Bucky tightly, not wanting to ever let him go.
"Do you need anything, Barnes?"
"I need a press conference and a ham sandwich."
•••
Tony got him the press conference and the ham sandwich.
Bucky sat on the couch, eating a sandwich and talking to everyone in the room.
"Stark, this is great. You make a mean sandwich."
Tony grinned as he listened to Bucky talk about his past five days.
"Well, I intentionally broke into a HYDRA base-"
"You WHAT?!"
"Well, I had my reasons. So I broke in, gave Rumlow my two cents, then the entire squad of Winter Soldiers busted through the door and shot me or something, I'm still not really sure. But then I thought I was dead, but then I wasn't. I woke up, realized that it had only been an hour, and then snapped at Rumlow, basically being the Sass King like you guys call me. And then I pretended to be on their side so they'd let me in all the restricted areas. They did, and I found out that they're working with other countries' governments and even our own and trying to build a nuclear arsenal. All the stuff in the restricted hallway is what's in here," Bucky explained, dumping the contents of his backpack all over the coffee table. The notebooks and rolled blueprints spilled out, leaving the rest of the Avengers in awe.
"And how long were you there to get all of… this?"
"Five days," Bucky replied. "Oh, crap, I forgot to go to that kid's house! His birthday is today."
Bucky checked his watch and realized that it was ten o'clock; Calan's party started in an hour and a half, and he still looked like death.
"What kid?"
"I met a kid on the train to Boston, and today's his birthday."
"UNCLE BUCKY!"
Morgan saw Bucky sitting on the couch and she ran to him, jumping into his lap and hugging him.
"Morgan!"
"You came back!"
"I did, I did come back!"
"I missed you!"
"I- I missed you too, Morgan." Bucky's voice broke at the confession, hugging Morgan.
"Really?"
"Of course!"
Bucky went upstairs to get changed, excited to surprise the little boy from the train.
He changed into a pair of jeans and a maroon t-shirt, slipping on his black and white Air Force Ones and walking out the door.
He got into his car and began driving to the closest toy store to look for one of the action figure sets that Calan had talked about wanting. He said that they were expensive, so none of his family would get them for his birthday.
Bucky walked into the store, finding the set of Avengers figures almost immediately. He bought a Captain America bag and some tissue paper with it and set off back to his car to surprise the little boy on his birthday.
He followed the directions from his GPS and parked in the driveway roughly ten minutes later, opening his car door and grabbing the present.
He knocked on the door with his right hand, not wanting to repeat the incident where he had broken Steve's door at the tower.
Calan came to the door, opening it and looking up to the man in the doorway.
"Bucky! What are you doing here?"
"It's your birthday! I wouldn't miss it for the world," Bucky replied, handing Calan the present.
"You got me a present?! Dad, look who's here!"
Calan's dad came out of the living room, taking a short break from watching what Bucky assumed to be Calan's friends playing.
"Whoa, buddy! Did he bring you a present?"
"Yeah, he did! Can I open it?"
His dad nodded, and Calan grinned excitedly. He pulled the tissue paper from the bag to reveal the set of action figures, and his smile stretched even wider.
"The action figures! Look, dad!"
Calan's dad didn't know what to say; he knew that the set of toys was expensive, much too expensive to be bought by a stranger and given to his son for his birthday.
"That was nice of him, wasn't it? That's a big present, Calan."
"I know, dad! I'm going to keep them forever!"
Bucky smiled at the fact that he had been able to make a little boy's day just by giving him a birthday present.
"Do you like them, Calan?"
"I love them! Will you play them with me?"
"Calan, he may have to leave-"
"No, it's alright. I'd love to, Calan!"
Calan smiled and it gave Bucky a feeling that he had just found not long ago.
Happiness.
It gave him a sense of purpose in the world, because he knew that he was making small differences in a few people's lives.
Just after the Winter Soldier when he had stayed with the Wakandans, he had trouble with what he was supposed to do with his life. He had lost everything that he had known before falling from the train, not even Steve had been there at first. Everyone he had known was dead, everything he had loved to do was "out of style".
In that moment, he cemented in his mind what he needed to do.
He needed to stand up for what he knew was right; something that he had been afraid to do for too long.
•••
"Stark," Bucky said into the phone. "Where am I supposed to go for this thing?"
"My venue. It's just down the street from… your bedroom."
"That's creepy, Tony."
"But it's true."
Bucky laughed and hung up, driving back to the compound to change into a suit.
He found the one he wanted to wear; a light gray jacket with pants to match, a white shirt, and a navy blue tie to add some color. He slipped on his shoes and walked back out to his car, his heart picking up slightly as he truly fathomed what he was about to do.
He parked in the parking lot of Tony's private venue, walking inside to find Tony talking to Pepper and Morgan.
"There you are," Tony said, and Morgan ran to Bucky.
"Uncle Bucky!"
"Hey, Morgan!"
"Good luck, Uncle Bucky!"
"Thanks, Morgan."
"Hey, Barnes? You're up," Tony said, opening the door to allow him on the stage. Tony grinned and pulled Bucky into a hug.
Bucky walked out and the cameras started flashing; he heard so many clicks that he knew there was a large amount of people there before even looking up.
When he got to Tony's podium and did look up, though, his heart leapt into his throat. His stomach felt like it dropped into his knees.
The amount of people there was more intimidating than he could have foreseen.
In the front row, the Avengers sat, along with Morgan and Pepper. A few of the Wakandans he spent the most time around were there.
He smiled upon seeing them; it calmed his nerves slightly.
"Mr. Barnes, what have you done since the Winter Soldier?"
"Mr. Barnes, where have you been living?"
"Is anyone from your life before the Winter Soldier still alive?"
"Well, since the Winter Soldier, I've been… trying to figure things out. I've been living with my friends, with the group of Avengers. The only person that's still alive is Steve Rogers, but… we're both old."
"Who was the kid from the train?"
"What were you doing in Boston?"
Bucky took a deep breath, looking down at Morgan who gave him a thumbs up and a smile.
"The boy from the train is someone I met when I gave up my seat so he and his dad could sit together. We talked for a while, and I found out that he was a huge Avengers fan. I actually just surprised him at his birthday party this morning," Bucky explained, skillfully dodging the question about where he had been going on the train. He had become quite good at dodging unwanted questions from people, an acquired skill that he had perfected during interrogations while he was the Winter Soldier. Now, he didn't feel that there were very many questions he had to dodge.
But of course, the reporters caught onto his strategy and asked the question again.
"I was on my way to Boston to find Brock Rumlow and hold him accountable for trying to get me back into HYDRA's program."
The cameras flashed even faster and more abundantly, making Bucky scan the crowd slowly.
"Why was he trying to get you back?"
"Was he trying to get you into the same line of work as before?"
"Is he the only one involved?"
"Does Tony's daughter know about Howard and Maria?"
Bucky's stomach dropped.
His knees went weak.
He didn't want to answer the question, not while she was sitting right in the front row.
Morgan noticed the look on Bucky's face, but she hadn't heard the question that he had been asked. She could tell that he was nervous, and she didn't want to see him like that.
She stood from her seat and jumped onto the stage before anyone could stop her.
"Uncle Bucky, what's wrong? Are you okay?" She took Bucky's hand, looking up at him. Bucky smiled down at her and crouched, meeting her eye-to-eye.
"I'm okay, Morgan."
"I wanted to make sure. I love you, Uncle Bucky. Do you want to make cookies when we get home?"
"I love you too, Morgan, and I think cookies are a great idea. Pink ones?"
"With purple sprinkles! Remember when you got them in your hair?"
"That was funny, wasn't it?"
"Yeah! There are a lot of people here, aren't there?"
Bucky looked at the crowd for a moment, taking a short amount of time to truly fathom how many people there actually were.
"There are. But you're one of them, and that's all that matters."
"And Uncle Steve? And Mr. T'Challa?"
"Them too. But I have a secret. I'll do something like I did at the baseball game. If I do this-" Bucky adjusted the knot of his tie, showing what he meant, "then I'm thinking about you. I always am, but… do you get it?"
"Thanks, Uncle Bucky! I love you," Morgan giggled, leaning in and hugging Bucky.
"I love you too, Morgan," Bucky whispered, hugging her back and listening to the innumerable camera clicks.
Morgan jumped down from the stage and sat back down, smiling up at Bucky. He returned the grin and waited for another volley of questions.
"Mr. Barnes, describe your relationship with Morgan Stark."
"Are you friends with all the Avengers?"
"Morgan and I are good friends. I'm, obviously, her favorite uncle. We make cookies, cupcakes, play princesses, and build pillow forts. We have fun because I'm the cool uncle," Bucky answered with a laugh. "And yes, I'm friends with all the Avengers. We're pretty close with one another, probably because we live together. I'll admit, I'm not really a clean freak, but sometimes it gets a little messy. Especially with my brother around."
Bucky kept talking, answering questions, nearly spilling his guts.
But not quite.
When he was finally done, he walked back through the door and smiled at Tony who had been waiting for him.
"Barnes, you did great. You did better than me, because I'm not notoriously great for press conferences. That was when I completely ignored the cards and accidentally on purposefully revealed the fact that I'm Iron Man. Just… prepare yourself for the news, okay? My advice is to prepare for the worst, hope for the best when you look at it later today or whenever you decide to. The press can take a toll on you, and I know because I've seen it in myself," Tony explained, warning Bucky for what he had known since the beginning. He was getting better mentally, but he didn't want to erase everything he had done to better himself. He wanted people to know the truth about him, and he was prepared for anything they could throw at him. Bucky was normally a man of few words, and when he decided to come out and tell the truth and talk about himself he was a bit surprised at his choice.
"Tony, the things that I've gotten from the media have already far surpassed what they can throw at me with this."
"You seem so emotionless toward it, like it doesn't even matter to you. How?"
Bucky and Tony began to walk outside. Tony was curious, because he knew about the things in the news about Bucky. They were terrible, degrading things that no one should ever have said to them.
"Well, Tony," Bucky began, trying to think of a way to phrase what he wanted to say without sounding too harsh. "I've been in the news for eighty years, whether they knew my name or not. The problem was, I always knew they were talking about me. There was a point where I didn't even realize that what I was doing was wrong. And then, when I realized that it was wrong, I couldn't believe that it had really been me doing it the entire time. I read the news, read about what I had done, and at first it destroyed me. Then I realized that the people writing and releasing those things didn't know me. Well… my therapist said that. But when I finally got good people back into my life, I realized that she was right. So I read the news and laughed at it, because it may have been factually true but it's not who I am anymore. Anymore," Bucky's voice dropped to a whisper at the last word.
Tony's jaw nearly dropped at Bucky's confession.
He realized that he had more to learn from Bucky than he ever could have fathomed.