Beth was sitting on the piano bench when Benny walked in the door, duffel bag in one hand, hat and keys in the other. His car sat in the driveway, fresh polish gleaming in the midday sun. She'd hated the sight of it every day since she'd had it shipped over during her stay in San Francisco, before The Picture, when she'd been trying to do something nice, knowing he missed having the little car around.

Now, now she wouldn't bat an eye if it burned to the God damned ground.

"Hey," he said, somewhat awkwardly, key landing on the table. "Thanks for getting my car, that was real nice of you."

"It was no problem," she said, because it hadn't been.

"Yours is fine, by the way, not a scratch on her. She had a good time pummeling all the traffic."

"Thanks."

Benny's bag hit the carpet, tossing his hat on to the newal post like a ring at a carnival.

"I heard about your match against Levitt, a real bone to the throat."

Beth nodded, a mechanical jerk of the head.

"Beth," he said.

She didn't look up.

"Beth, what's bothering you? Is the fridge acting up again? You know, u told you to clean out the ice every..." Benny trailed off, noticing what sat on the coffee table, right where her chess board always took pride of place.

He recoiled as if she'd slapped him in the face with it, eyes instantly full of regret.

"Beth," Benny pleaded, "Beth, I can explain. It's not want it looks like."

"Why should I care what it looks like? It's none of my business who you spend your time with," she cut in, still unable to raise her head. Instead, she dragged her finger through the dust collecting on the piano, swirling it around absently. She'd have to get on that soon; dust was bad for old things like this.

Persistent as always, Benny wasn't willing to let go without a fight. So he crossed his arms, leaning beside her, taking up all her space.

"Beth, nothing happened," he insisted to her. "Cleo's a good friend, that's all. We had dinner, she helped me put things back into perspective. When we got out, it was so late, I could barely keep my eyes open. I fell asleep with the receiver in my hand, honestly. When I woke up, I wanted to call, but I had to pose for all their stupid pictures and answer all their stupid questions; you know what I like. And I figured that it would be better if I apologized in person, so I got in the car and drove straight here."

Her gaze skated across his face, darting away at the intensity of his expression. "Like I said, it's none of my business. I don't care who you spend your time with."

Benny crossed his arms, eyes blazing. "Come on, Beth, don't do that"

"Do what?"

"Lie to me like that. I know you care."

Beth arched a brow, crossing her own arms defensively. "Yeah? And how's that?"

"Because I would care!" he shouted, voice full of anguish. "I would care if I saw a picture of you with some guy and then you'd broken a promise. I'd care, okay? I know you care," he repeated, slumping down onto the couch, hand splayed over his face.

Something caught alight inside her, something snapped. Beth got up from the piano, heart beating furiously against her ribs. "You're Benny Watts, the greatest talent America has seen since Morphy, you've got the world at your feet, there isn't a logical reason for you to care!" Not a single one!"

Benny dropped his hand. "You would think that, wouldn't you? You'd think that this doesn't mean anything to me, that I'll just take off at the drop of a hat once I've deemed you all fit and proper. You'd think that this was all about ego, me wanting some piece of you, staking some claim on your brilliance. You really can't see any other motive, can you?" he asked her, sounding so defeated, even more so than after any match he had lost.

"Yes," she aquiesced, because it was the truth.

Benny got up, pacing the small space between them, seeing to suck all the air from the room, from her lungs.

"Well, I do." Benny stopped his pacing, going completely still. It was odd, to see him like this, no flickering movement, like a clockwork toy in need of winding to come back to life. "I wanted you to win."

"What?" Beth asked, taken aback. She had not expected that, had not predicted for such an outcome.

"I wanted you to win" he said again, slowly, dragging it out. "In Ohio. The Championship. But more than that, I needed to see if you could win, so that I'd finally know, one way or the other."

"Know what?"

"If you were it for me. I meant what I said back then Beth, you see things the same way I do. You play like no one else I've ever met before. You make me laugh like no else I've ever met before. You make me happy like no one else I've ever met before. I...care about you, I do, honest to God. I don't know how it happened, but I do, and all I want is for you to be okay. I want you to go to Russia and beat Borgov. I want you to be World Champion. Whatever you want, I want it for you. But I don't want you to destroy yourself trying to get it, I don't want you to end up like all those great players who lived the game and nothing else. Especially if you're going to keep on hurting yourself like you did before."

Benny cupped her cheek, the gesture infinitely more intimate than anything they had shared before. "Ask me to stay, and I'll stay with you. Ask me to be with you and I'll be with you. I'll do anything you want, so long as you ask me to. This can't be a one way street kind of thing, Beth, not with us."

Benny pulled away, and instantly her veins filled with cold, like she'd been frozen solid and he'd been the fire keeping her warm.

"But you can't, can you? You won't let yourself, not even after everything?"

"No, I can't," Beth murmured, hating the words but knowing them to be true.

"Well, I guess that's it then."

Benny plucked up his hat, flipping it onto his head and grabbing his bag from the floor. He turned at the last second; Beth held her breath.

"Good luck, Beth," he told her, and closed the door behind him.

Beth heard his car start.

She didn't look out the window.

Beth heard him pull out.

She didn't move an inch.

The walls pressed in on her, pressure building up in her chest until she felt like she couldn't breathe.

She'd let him go. How could she let him go?

Beth collapsed to the carpet, barely registering the spark of pain as her knee connected with the table.

She'd been a coward, and look where it had gotten her. Alone, lying on the ground, tears streaming down her face as if they never stop, as of she'd been holding them in since she was nine years old, and had finally given in.

Beth didn't know how long she stayed on the floor, staring as the light made fading patterns on the ceiling, the world going on, unhindered by her troubles. She got up, dusting the knees of her jeans.

She got her purse from her bedside table, wiping her eyes in the mirror.

Then she went to the store and got three refills of her Librium. Then she bought as much alcohol as she could feasibly carry, ignoring the looks that were dirtily tossed her way.

Beth closed the door, closed out the world. She took out a blind handful of pills, stuffing them into her mouth as if she were a child and they were a prized candy. Then she drank until she couldn't feel anything, couldn't feel her heart, bleeding out of her chest, her only hope gone.

New York was always at its most interesting at night, in Benny's opinion. There was something about the quality of the light, the way it cast unusual shadows, made everything seem more dramatic and interesting. But, of course, bad things could happen in those shadows, and did, with alarming regularity. He knew better than most.

It felt odd, being back in his car as he turned onto his street, like putting a boot on the wrong foot, as if he was waiting for something to click, to settle. Or perhaps that was just himself.

Benny locked the car, making his way down the steps, glaring at the rat that had decided to make his front door it's home for the night.

He didn't need any more strays.

Fishing his keys from his pocket whilst holding his bag was a monumental effort, but he made it, sliding it home into the lock, nudging the door open with the toe of his boot. He unceremoniously tossed the duffel onto his bed, not even blinking when it tumbled off with a defeated sigh, hitting the floor with a dull thud.

Benny left his hat on the table, covering his chess board; he didn't want to look at it just now. Instead, he stood in the open doorway, letting the sounds and they sights and the smells of home greet him once again, let the breeze that came off the Hudson thread it's fingers through his hair.

It hadn't been a day, not even a full twenty four hours, and already, he missed her, missed waking up in the same house together, eating breakfast and going over games and having her roll her eyes amusedly when he talked her ear off, missed the sense of rightness he'd felt, as if everything in his life, every hardship and triumph and sacrifice had been leading up to this, as if Beth had always been his final destination, the goal of every game to just be with her.

But he understood now that although she was the one for him, he may not he may the one for her, at least right now. He still couldn't believe hed almost told her that he loved her; what a foolish mistake that would have been. He knew Beth felt something -she wouldn't have got so upset over that picture of him and Cleo if she didn't feel anything at all- Benny just didn't know what. And although he could have stayed, could have patched things up, he realized he'd been getting too comfortable, had settled into this pattern with her as if it was easy as breathing. He would have had to cut ties eventually.

Beth had been right: he was Benny Watts, and just because she'd beaten him and broken his heart didn't mean he didn't have any fight left in him. He'd get back at the board, take down every man (or woman) who stood in his way.

And maybe, just maybe, he'd be able to move on from the girl with the red hair and the doe eyes and the mind that had set the chess world on fire.

But maybe is a loser's word after all, is it not?

Author's Note: Hello, everyone! I'm so sorry about how shirt this chapter is, it was originally going to be longer but it just didn't flow quite right. So, early update! I'm hard at work on chapter six, I promise. So, what did you think of their fight? I've never written a fight before so all feedback would be appreciated!

Until next time.

All my love, Temperance Cain