![]() Author has written 18 stories for Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and Harry Potter. Well, what can I say? I like Percy Jackson stories involving Chaos, Nyx, Gaia, Tartarus (the primordial), Chronos (the Primordial), Erebus, and evil Percy. I HATE HATE HATE PERCABETH. Can't stand it. Would rather gouge out my own eyes than write OR READ a Percabeth fanfiction. I only like it when Rick Riordan writes it because he's the only one who can do it properly. I like Percy/Artemis, Percy/Zoe, Percy/Piper, and my favorite, Percy/Bianca, pairings. There are hardly any decent Percy/Bianca pairings though, so I settle for the other three. I'm an okay fan of mature stories, will write a few, but I will NOT do too many lemon stories. Not a decent enough lemon writer, plus not really a fan of writing intimate bullshit. I do plan on writing a large amount of stories, my stories will hopefully end with over 40,000 words, the first chapters will be more like a brief summary or beginning of the story. Anyways, that's enough about me, if you want to know more, simply PM me and I'll respond as soon as I can. Lately I've been interested in Harry Potter stories with Evil/Dark Harry pairing with Daphne. But absolutely no HP/GW or HP/HG or SLASH. I hate all three For those of you who are looking for male/male pairings, I am definitely NOT the person you should be looking for. None of my stories will EVER have male/male content. Dear bullies, You notice that girl that you just called a whore for holding hands with her one-year old son? She was raped when she was 14. See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself. You know that girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting on make-up hoping people will like her. That boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that young boy you must made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. Re-Post this if you are against bullying. I bet 95% of you won't. Your life is probably not as harsh as theirs. Favorite Movie Quote: NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast PJO FANS: will tell Zeus to make it rain NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG! PJO FANS: say OH MY GODS! NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings PJO FANS: won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or I'll tell on you! PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you! NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY! PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms PJO FANS: yell at Zeus to calm the fuck down NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half Blood NORMAL PEOPLE: don't have this on their profile PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile! The Stupidest Things On Products On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.) On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits." (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Wow. That's really helpful) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (Aw, that's the whole purpose of buying the costume!) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals". (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions: "Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food!?) On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?) On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's just a suggestion). On a Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (That's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Fritos!: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (the shoplifter special?) On a Korean knife: “Keep out of children.” (I should fucking hope so!) Boeing 757: "Fragile. Do not drop."(That means you, Hulk! Put that fucking airplane down, you might drop it!) Scoop-able cat litter: "Safe to use around pets." (Again, I should fucking hope so!) Baby oil: "Keep out reach of children." (Good thing babies aren't children, isn't it!) Hair coloring: "Do not use as an ice cream topping." (Yeah. My grandmother died because she thought my hair dye was ice-cream topping and put it in a sundae) Komatsu Floodlight: "This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark." (OMG!! That's as amazing as a newsreader reading the news!) Earplugs: "These earplugs are nontoxic, but they may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe." (Are you sure? Lets experiment.) RCA television remote control:"Not dishwasher safe." (Did someone do this once...?) Road sign: "Caution: water on road during rain." (No. Duh. Sherlock.) "The Percy Jackson Pledge" I promise to remember Percy Whenever I'm at sea I promise to remember Annabeth Whenever a spider comes at me I promise to protect nature For Grover's sake of course I promise to remember Luke When my heart fills with remorse I promise to remember Chiron Whenever I see a sign that says ''Free Pony Ride'' I promise to remember Tyson Whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side I promise to remember Thalia Whenever a friend is scared of heights I promise to remember Clarisse Whenever I see someone that gives me a fright I promise to remember Bianca Whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother I promise to remember Nico Whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others I promise to remember Zoe Whenever I watch the stars I promise to remember Rachel Whenever a limo passes my car I promise to remember The Stolls Whenever my home is beginning to unsettle I promise to remember Beckendorf Whenever I see someone working metal I promise to remember Silena Whenever a friend takes one for the team I promise to remember Michael Yew Whenever I see a smile that gleams I promise to remember Briares Whenever I see someone playing hand games I promise to remember those lost in the Battle of the Labyrinth Whenever I see a cloth in flames I promise to keep people included For Hestia When she was banished from the gods I promise to remember those campers who fought against Kronos Whenever I see someone go against the odds I promise to remember Jason Whenever I see a lightning bolt I promise to remember Hazel Whenever I see a pot of gold I promise to remember Piper Whenever I see a pretty girl I promise to be nice to everyone For Leo was the seventh wheel Yes I promise to remember PJO Wherever I may go... FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella. BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!' FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying, "THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME!" FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore/Cry with you. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS: Return your stuff right away. BEST FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (a.k.a. drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don't waste." FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. BEST FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out! FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. BEST FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better! FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. BEST FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out. FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy (or girl) rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him (or her) and say 'It's because you're gay isn't it?' FRIENDS: Will be there for you when (s)he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him (her) up and whisper, "Seven days..." FRIENDS: Won't tell the cops when you kill somebody BEST FRIENDS: Will help you hide the body FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter. BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this crap! This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is retard cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat. Okay now go back and read the THIRD WORD in each sentence and I promise you wont be able to resist to put this on your profile. The Situation in Hell The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A." FAVORITE QUOTES: "Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it." "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you." "Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool." "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer." "Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much." Oscar Wilde "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein "When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty." Norm Crosby "If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one." Lord Byron "Silence is golden but duck tape is silver." "Get the facts first. You can distort them later." Mark Twain "Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow." Mark Twain "The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy." "If at first you do not succeed, then skydiving is surely not meant for you." "Men are liars. We lie about lying if we have to." Jay Leno "I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally." W.C. Fields "It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it." "I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and I was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: they're crouching and hidden." Steve Martin "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams "I married your mother because I wanted children. Imagine my disappointment when you arrived." Groucho Marx "It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it." George W. Bush If you need a smile on your face read these... The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege. I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere. Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up. I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have. Is it time for your medication or mine? Oh, I'm so sorry! I forgot that you're an idiot! A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a girlfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends grab those knives and stab those bastards back for you. A good friend is someone who thinks you are a good egg even though he knows you're slightly cracked- Bernard Meltzer Friends are relatives you make for yourself- Gustache Deschamps Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. Amateurs 1- Pro 0. To put it nicely, I hope you choke Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them. It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn. You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear. A day without sunshine is like... night. I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster. Whoever said that 'nothing was impossible' never tried to slam a revolving door. When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then sit back and enjoy while others try to figure out how you did it. When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like hell. Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that. Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?" If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you. Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train. Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness. I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight. Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over. Real friends don't let you do stupid things--alone. The butterflies are plotting SOMETHING... Challenge for PJO: So, I've been looking at other people's profiles and have seen so many challenges that it's ridiculous. However, I've always been a fan of ridiculous, so I have my own challenge. The parameters are: -Percy MUST be betrayed by EVERYONE, i.e. the campers, the Seven, Annabeth (that one's a biggy), the Olympians, etc. Having Hades, Nico, and Hestia betray Percy is optional. -Sally MUST either be dead or betray Percy. -The betrayers CANNOT regret their actions. -Percy MUST become Tartarus' champion. Him becoming the champion of other Primordials as well is optional. -Percy MUST be evil. -Percy CANNOT regret becoming evil. -Percy MUST become evil of his own free will. -It CANNOT be Percabeth, slash, or Perlia; no pairing, Perzoe, or Perianca are preferred, how that works, you figure out on your own. -Percy MUST be more powerful than most, if not all, of the Olympians. (Personally, I find it believable if he is a Primordial's champion.) -Percy MUST have a badass weapon that is NOT Riptide. -Story MUST be over 40,000 words. 100,000 would be preferable, but I can't possibly ask for that. -Grammar and spelling CANNOT suck. I don't care if you go with the Percy-gets-replaced angle or the Percy-was-supposedly-a-spy-for-Gaia-or-Kronos angle, either. It doesn't matter to me. If you decide to accept the challenge, please PM me and tell me the name of the story. |
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