Yes, I'm back, this is not a dream. You are witnessing an actual update. I am not dead or missing thankfully. I am however, still the worst host. :(
Fanfiction Trauma
Chapter 40: Morgan and his Lovely Ladies (With A Twist)
Will gasped suddenly, backing away and slamming onto the wall. "Shit… where am I? What happened!?"
JJ immediately went to his side. "Honey, calm down, I'm here with you. We're all here."
"Are we STILL in Spencer's house? How!?"
"What do you mean how? We're reading fanfiction stories," She replied with concern. "Your fanfiction-itis has gotten worst."
The troubled detective looked around the guests, taking in their concerned expressions. "But… h-hasn't it been years already?"
"Again with this," Emily sighed. "Will it hasn't been that long. It's been like five minutes since we finished that story."
"Yeah, the Garcia and Hotch story," Seaver added, hoping to help jog his weird memory situation. "Remember? It really has been nowhere near years since we've read it."
"And saying it's been 'nowhere near' is actually putting it mildly." Blake said, attempting to keep her worry down to a minimum. The truth was his condition was starting to really worry her.
"But I just saw all those years flash before me," He huffed, irritated by their disbelief and the fact that he was STILL in Spencer's house.
Suddenly it hit him.
Spencer!
Immediately he pulled JJ to his chest. "You leave me and I'll kidnap you."
"What!?" She gasped.
"Fuck," He groaned, grabbing his head. "Sorry hun, I did not… My head is killing me. It's like I'm getting all of what happened in the years that passed in quick flashes. Something bout' you and Spencer, damn can't remember."
JJ stared at him intently before sighing. "It's just your withdrawal from fanfiction-itis. Stop thinking aboutvl silly things."
He stood up and looked at Morgan. "Think ya left the job or something. He then turned to Hotch. "Yeah, and some random unexplained thing happened to you."
The two men glanced at one another before turning to Will expectedly, waiting for him to further elaborate.
But he only shrugged. "All I got now, maybe it'll come back later." He then sat back in his spot. "So, ready to spin the bottle now?"
"Um, are you sure that's a good idea?" JJ asked him, concerned written all over her.
He smiled. "I'm good."
Everyone eyed him warily before heading back to their original spot.
"Well, now that that's outta the way," Garcia began as she placed the bottle in the center. "Here goes."
They eagerly awaited their turn.
The bottle finally stopped and landed on Morgan.
"Yes!" He practically screamed, jumping to his feet and shoving poor Reid onto JJ.
This immediately made Will get defensive so he pulled her back to him, while hissing at Reid, who backed away behind Emily extremely creeped out.
"Shut up uncle Derek," Jack groaned before snuggling back to the bed next to a sleeping Henry, and their plushies.
"Oops," He muttered. "Sorry guys."
Emily sighed. "Why, why did it have to land on Derek?"
"Knowing him he'll probably try and stuff as many as you ladies as he can in his sick search," Rossi stated.
"Oh like you wouldn't do the same," Morgan quipped from over his shoulder, then he returned to his unrelenting search of exactly what Rossi said he'd search for.
"Well you won't find one with me," Blake muttered, almost bitterly.
"You should be glad for that!" Seaver replied. "You don't want to be in Morgan's search."
"I know, I know," The seasoned profiler sighed.
"Alright, get over here!" Morgan called excitedly.
"Oh boy," Rossi muttered knowing this wouldn't be pretty. He at least took comfort knowing he wouldn't be a target.
Morgan's Harem
There was a mixture of sighs and eye rolls amongst the room.
By: MorganLuvsMeMost
"Oh I beg to differ," Garcia smirked, earning a wink from Morgan.
Summary: What can Derek Morgan do when all of the women in the BAU are after him?
"Honestly Derek," JJ sighed in exasperation.
"Hey, I had to sit through that God awful torture Will found, so I want no excuses from you."
"Fair enough I guess."
"Hey," Will cut in. "That was the one good story out of all them. Show some respect."
"Keep telling yourself that." Rossi chimed in.
He has a difficult decision to make now. But ultimately, he'll have to decide what's best for him. Will it be what's best for him in the end however? One thing's for sure though, he will certainly enjoy the ride.
"Your ego must be the size of space," Emily said.
It was a slow day in the office today, which was pretty rare. All the agents were stuck doing simple paperwork. That meant Derek was stuck in his office. This also meant the women were all free to prowl.
"Hey, who did you put?" Reid asked curiously.
Morgan swung the chair around. "Well besides me of course, I put Emily, JJ, and Seaver. I didn't bother putting Garcia because that goes without saying that she'd be included in my harem."
"Naturally," Garcia agreed, unfazed by the dilemma.
"At first I tried adding Blake but uh, yeah… nothing popped up. Sorry Blake." Morgan added with sincerity.
Blake lowered her head dejectedly. "I'm not surprised."
Hotch knowing it was up to him to hold the team together, placed a supportive arm around her.
Derek looked up from his paperwork when he heard a knock on the door. "Come in."
The girls (besides Blake who was still upset at her apparent invisibility) all gulped.
In walked Emily.
"Oh screw you Derek!" Emily snapped.
"Hey, you got a minute?"
He eyed her, smirking afterwards. "For you? Of course."
"You want to bang?"
"You don't waste time." Rossi joked as the others laughed.
Meanwhile Emily died a little more on the inside.
"Hell yes!" He said, already slamming the door locked, putting a sign on the doorknob that he was busy. He pulled her to his desk where he began undoing her clothes.
She returned the favor eagerly. "God I needed this."
He grinned. "Even though we did this yesterday?"
She smirked. "And the day before that, and the one before that one too. But who's counting?"
"I swear you'd think I'm the biggest skank in the world the way some of these stories portray me."
Once they were finished Derek went out for his coffee break, making sure to slap the secretary's ass as he did so.
"Well aren't you a charmer," Kevin sarcastically said.
"Way over the top." Will agreed.
"Oh please," Morgan groaned. "You almost put us into shock with your corny ass story."
It was a shame Blake had already transferred out of the team. (AN: Yeah I was definitely not going to include her hahaha!)
By now Hotch was rubbing Blake's back as she buried her head on his shoulder. He was honestly starting to worry considering it was him and Blake who'd been the sanest throughout all this. Nonetheless he would not let any harm come to her.
Who said being the Unit Chief was easy?
By the coffee machine he saw JJ.
This caused Will to place his arms around his wife, as if shielding her from the world.
"What in the world has gotten into you?" JJ asked, trying to pry out of his hold. "You've been so OOC."
"You ain't seen what I've seen hun," He answered, with eyes like he had just witnessed the great beyond.
"Hey blondie, what's up?"
JJ jumped slightly before composing herself. "Oh! Hey Derek."
"Whoa, someone is jumpy." He smirked. Knowing the effect it would have on her he leaned closer. "You mind if I get some coffee?"
JJ's mind was spinning as he brushed his hands by hers to stir his coffee. Why did he have to be so damn hot?
"This is so stupid," JJ groaned.
"This is for your own good honey," Will replied, refusing to budge or loosen his hold.
"I meant the story but yeah, this too."
If only Derek could look at her the way he looks at Emily and Garcia. She was crazy about him. But he only seemed to be interested in the other skanks. Goodness he was just so Godly with those looks!
"Morgan this story sucks." Seaver stated, knowing everyone else felt the same. "The OOC is through the roof."
"You're out of your mind, this is the best one we've read."
"Hardly," Rossi chimed in. "Besides the obvious OOC there is no plot, and the attention your character is getting is starting to get creepy."
But Morgan dismissed them with a wave of his hand. "Oh what do you guys know?"
"This is some good coffee," He murmured, stepping behind JJ. This caused her to turn around, eyeing him with surprise. He placed both of his hands on the counter, effectively pinning her against the counter. "It's good right JJ?"
She was beginning to sweat. His face was so close!
"Bro, that's total sexual harassment you weirdo," Kevin said.
Yet Morgan was too absorbed in the story to listen to reason or facts.
"Derek, w-what are you doing?"
"Don't you like this?" He whispered, enjoying how red her face was. "Why don't I take you to my office and show you how a real man is?" He knew her marriage was a joke as well as her husband.
Kevin frowned. "So uncalled for dude!"
"Yeah, no need for that." Garcia added. "Although, we all know there can't be a JJ pairing without completely ridiculing Will."
Seaver shook her head. "So predictable."
JJ did not need further convincing. Slowly she nodded her head. He took her to Hotch's office–
Hotch frowned at that but remained silent.
–which was thankfully now empty after he'd been reassigned. (AN: So pissed he left btw)
The group all shot looks at their Unit Chief. JJ however had to uncomfortably twist her neck as Will had been holding her away this whole time. Blake had stopped her sulking to look up at him.
"I told all of you!" Will shouted. "Damn it I warned everyone!"
"You can't leave us Hotch." Reid said, vulnerability creeping onto his voice.
Hotch stared at all the occupants in the room. Each were wearing despondent looks. "I am not going to leave either of you. No matter what happens. You all know this."
Garcia tackled him for a hug, effectively hugging Blake in the process. Eventually Kevin placed his arms around them as well.
Hotch found it hard to believe these were all adults who worked in the FBI. For God's sake he could barely get any oxygen with how they were sandwiching him!
They must look a sight.
When Derek had her in the office he began stripping her off her clothing.
"Oooh Derek," She moaned.
"Oooh kill me."
"I know you like that," He said in between kisses.
"Yes, don't stop."
Derek was enjoying himself, because he knew this would absolutely ruin Will.
"You know Will's story never bashed anyone," Kevin stated. "Just saying."
"Or had anyone be OOC." Will muttered in disgust.
Rossi raised a brow. "You mean besides you and JJ?"
Moments later and he was buttoning up his shirt. "I have been wanting to do that for a while now."
"Yeah, same."
"I have to finish my paperwork now," He said, already heading for the door. "Let us do this again though."
She agreed, knowing it was time to get divorced.
"My portrayal is just horrendous. When will these guys get us written down correctly?"
As soon as Derek entered his office he saw Garcia. "Oh shit. You scared me."
"I saw you," She said with a sad voice. "With JJ."
He nervously rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. Had he been careless?
"Are you really not bothered by how you're being portrayed?" Reid asked.
But just as Will had done with his story, Morgan had tuned everyone out and was glued to the screen.
"What are you talking about babygirl?"
"Do not lie to me. I saw you with Emily too! And you even brought her here? To the office I designed for you of all places!"
Will shot Morgan the stink eye. "That's why I ship Garvez."
"What?"
"What?"
The detective honestly had no idea where that had even come from. Or why he even said it.
"You're overreacting! We were just talking, I swear!"
"You expect me to believe that!? We are done."
With that she shoved past him and headed to her lair.
Derek sighed. He would have to find a way to fix that soon. In all actuality he just had not been himself lately. And he figured this would be a good way to take his mind off things. And it was at first, but in the end he just felt bad hurting his friends.
"Not bad enough to stop however." Rossi said.
"Yeah you're a massive douche in this one." Garcia added.
Emily crossed her arms and glared at Morgan. "What is wrong with you Derek? You're acting the way Will did when he found his story. It's like you aren't even listening to reason."
The next day he had been hoping to get a case so he could take his mind off things, unfortunately there were no new cases and he was stuck in a funk again.
Rossi glanced at Seaver. "You know you're probably the main love interest."
Kevin nodded. "He's right, it seems they are setting you two up since all the other girls have been mentioned."
"Crack pairing again." Garcia concluded.
Seaver could only sigh.
He had been questioning so many things, and he was having no luck sleeping. He also seemed frustrated and disgruntled at work. Then he looked out from his office into the bullpen, and there they were.
Suddenly it hit him, everything just made sense. He knew what he had to do.
Seaver was already mentally preparing herself for another dose of ultimate crack. Instinctively she stood by Hotch, whom instinctively was already standing by her.
Without wasting more time, he stood upwards and dashed out of his desk. Derek simply could not believe how obvious this was. Everything fell into place. He knew why he was feeling off, and why he couldn't concentrate.
Hotch narrowed his eyes suspiciously but opted on staying silent. He did however, brace himself for comforting his team.
"I need to talk to you," And not even waiting he dragged the person towards the stairs where it was empty.
"Just don't give me a corny confession will you Morgan," Seaver grumbled. "All I ask."
Morgan wheeled around, raised brow and all. "You think I'm Reid or something?"
"Hey!" He cut in, slightly offended. "I know how to confess."
"Why did you just drag me out here Morgan?"
Derek narrowed his eyes in determination. "I am crazy about you. I love you Reid!"
There was an utter deafening silence throughout the room. A silence so profound that it seemed to have its own quality. A silence that even shut Reid from yelling.
That was…
Until Will exploded with laughter.
"Hahahaha! You laughed at my story, mocked it, well I'm laughing at you now! How is your story now!?"
Poor Morgan sat defeated on the chair, still wrecked with grief over the loss of his idea of a perfect story.
Reid was in sheer disbelief.
"What?" He gasped, completely taken by surprise. A tear rolled down his eye. "I feel the same way!"
"How!?" The doctor shouted. "I am not even one of the characters Morgan selected! How could this story possibly lead to slash!?"
Rossi crossed his arms. "It's almost like the search parameters have absolutely no point."
"Yeah, these sick authors will do whatever they please with us no matter what." Emily added.
When they finally kissed the sparks flew and everything fell into place. Everything felt right.
(AN: There you have it. Hope you enjoyed!)
"Well, I don't know how it led to that," Seaver began, wary of her ex-partner's mental state. "I'm relieved my appearance never happened. Which honestly just begs for questions to be asked."
Without another word Morgan stepped off the chair and sat himself on the corner.
Hotch wondered just how much more his team could take before their sanity crumbled. Everyone was already losing it and going OOC on him. Could he handle this? Could he possibly protect all of them?
Author's Notes
I wonder if any of you figured out the twist? Poor Hotch has to hold the team together.
And yeah, I am awful still. Wish I did not take so long to update. I have failed all of you! T_T