Chapter 17: Humility

A single carriage traveled away from the Bluhart manor.

Within sat a man who aspired to destroy the world in pursuit of his own prideful dream. To anyone with half a mind, he would have appeared insane, and maybe even fanatical. Only a handful of individuals truly agreed with his goal, himself included, yet his charismatic and approachable attitude seemed to charm anyone he spoke to, and they soon found themselves on his side.

"Od above, I'm starving!"

Even so, there were times he was less than elegant.

In front of him, Gihlean nodded. "I suppose that it is due time for us to return to base. I must ask: did you find who you were looking for?"

"You mean the girl?" he asked. "The book must've made a mistake. There'as nothing interestin' about her."

"For the gospel to be wrong is unheard of," she explained.

Acubens shrugged. "There's a first time for everything. And since we're on the subject of boring people, it's a good thing Nolan was here today. He'll be keeping his mouth shut about our little stunt, but it's not as if he has much choice."

"If I may be so bold as to ask…why bother leaving Hoshin alive?"

For a second, there was silence, and then he laughed. "Oh, you're inquisitive, aren't ya?"

"Considering I was in charge of taking her from the capital, overseeing her stay with us, and putting her to sleep, I believe I deserve to at least know why we are going to such lengths."

"Careful now, Gihl. You're'nt entitled to anything. No one is, and whoever believes otherwise's too prideful for my liking."

"Ironic, coming from the Cardinal himself."

"Oh, please, you know better than everyone else that I loathe bragging and boasting and all that. Such foolish, self-aggrandizing, petty acts are far beneath my level. If anything, I'm the humblest man alive!"

She looked him in the eyes, and remained as stoic as ever. "You must mean the dullest, yes?"

"Why do I even pay you?" Acubens lamented, shaking his head. "Onto other matters…I'd like to believe that you resolved the situation that arose with our mystery girl?"

"She jumped out a window," Gihlean sighed. "We were lucky only one Iron Fang came to her, because it could have been much, much worse."

"You're kidding! Out a window! Oddamn, I should've hired'er!"

"More trouble than she was worth, if you ask me."

"Ah, but I didn't ask, see?"

Gihlean shook her head, indicating she was done with this back-and-forth. Sometimes, Acubens just did not know when to shut up.

"Now, onto more pressing matters," he suddenly said. "We've planted the seeds of mistrust, but who'll we pick to sow'em?"

She replied, "I believed we had picked a candidate already."

"No, no, we hadn't. We'd only picked the one we'd need to avoid: Barielle. I also made some comments on Hoshin but that's all. Hm, that's quite the oversight…without royal backing from a maiden, we'll be dead 'fore we even start."

"Indeed. Have we got one in mind?"

"Well…I've got two…but we best discuss it back home."

"Understood," she answered, never even showing a trace of emotion.

Acubens, however, kept talking, if only to give a final and ominous proclamation.

"I'm thinking the Duchess'll do us a big favor, even if she's unaware of it."

Far away from the Bluhart manor, in an abandoned and run-down inn, the Cult debated these new findings.

"If what he said is true, then this could completely reshape the Cult," Adalric said, sitting on a chair so decayed it might as well break apart at any moment.

"How come?" Subaru asked, sitting opposite to him and trying to free his arm from Shaula's grasp. "Truth be told, he didn't seem like such a big deal to me! All the other Archbishops are downright terrifying…except Capella, she's just a pain, really…"

Somehow, despite the horrible lighting and the fact that it was dark enough to not see mere meters ahead of himself, Subaru could tell Adalric was appalled by the question. Maybe it was his tone when he answered…

"You can't just ask that, sir! The Archbishops are an integral part of the Cult! Apart from serving as its leaders, they're also its strongest warriors and most able enforcers! A single one can turn the tide of any fight, which is precisely why we must find out whether or not this Kolwin man is already working with us or not!"

"'Turn the tide of any fight?' Ha! I wish I could do that…whoever this Witch is, she clearly nerfed me too much!"

Although Shaula giggled at his statement, Adalric showed no sign of easing up. "This isn't a laughing matter! If this Kolwin is already on our side, why did he not say so!? Why were we told that the Archbishop of Pride was lost long ago and never replaced!?"

Finally, Subaru managed to wrest his arm away from his clingy companion, and responded with, "Wait, wait, what do you mean 'if' he's on our side?"

Once more, even if he could not see the other's reaction very well, he could tell the question was something that troubled Adalric deeply if his sharp inhale was anything to go by.

"Sir," he spoke. "There exists the possibility that this 'Cardinal' is…unaffiliated with the Witch Cult, which would force him to clash against us. Truth be told, this is starting to seem likely…which would only complicate the current situation further. As soon as we're back at the cathedral, I'll have some men look over every paper in the archives for mentions of this man; it's best to be prepared for the worst, after all."

Nodding, Subaru added, "Is it too far-fetched to assume we can win him over? I mean, assuming he's not with us already…"

"You met him, sir. Did he give any indication at all about where his loyalties lied?"

Acubens's words came to mind.

"I must say, though, I'm surprised she didn't send you to recruit me or anything; that witch has been quite persistent about my joining her merry little gang, after all."

"Uhm, about that…"

Adalric sighed. "I'm guessing it isn't good news."

"Not…precisely," he responded, the dawning realization that the pink-haired man would possibly be an enemy clouding everything else, even Shaula's persistent attempt to grab his arm again.

"This puts us in a very precarious position, sir. If this Kolwin man possesses a power to rival the Sin Archbishops, then…"

"Okay, explain that to me like I'm five years old. How can he have a power like ours if he's not…you know, a cultist?"

"Unfortunately, I'm not knowledgeable enough in this topic to provide an answer, sir."

Shaking his head, Subaru said, "It's alright, I guess. Someone else might know the answer."

A couple of seconds passed before either spoke up again, and Adalric said, "You know, it's late. We should head back tomorrow and stay here for the time being."

He agreed, and began working to free his arm from Shaula's clutches once again.

"Priscilla Barielle: our worst enemy!"

With the vigor of an experienced public speaker and the rage of a wronged man, Acubens Kolwin pointed to the Baroness's poster, which detailed her name, age, land, and overall campaign promises for the royal selection (which were fairly simple and straightforward, given that she just boasted about winning anyway). Surrounding that poster were those of the other four candidates, each arranged on a map with their respective domains, backers, and other information related to their role as possible queens.

Said "mission wall" (a term coined by the Cardinal) was the most important part of the Pincer Formation's war room, located in their headquarters, which…no one knew how to find. He claimed it was a necessary precaution, but there were just too many instances in which his own recruits were absolutely lost and could not return home.

Those that never found their way back? They were acceptable losses.

Back in the war room, Gihlean – who sat behind Acubens but still in front of the wall – tilted her head and asked, "Is she really so dangerous? Once we get our plan in motion, she will not be capable of stopping us."

"Believe me," he replied, still facing the poster. "She's a danger to more than our plan, she's a danger to everythin' we do! Out of all these candidates, she's the best qualified to rule…"

Allowing herself a rare smile, Gihlean added, "Which is why we will ensure she never does."

"Precisely! We most definitely can't run that risk, not even for the slightest moment!"

"Noted. With her out of the way, that leaves four other candidates, yes?"

"Two, actually," was his response. "That Felt girl and Hoshin're too risky. We'd be unable to predict how they'd act…"

"Go over each of them, one by one."

"So, Priscilla Barielle: competent, stuck-up, lucky, and all-around an obstacle we wanna avoid. After her husband died, she's been managin' his lands by herself, and proved to be a good leader…which is the very reason she'll be our main target."

He walked from the Baroness's poster to one portraying a young girl, cute as a hamster.

"This 'Felt' is a wildcard, an' that can't be tolerated. I don't know whether or not she's part of the ol' royals, which puts a big problem in our way. Even if she's, her lack of political experience could be useful, but…too much risk."

Just as Gihlean was about to comment, he took a leap towards another poster, one depicting a purple-haired woman with a fluffy hat.

"Anastasia Hoshin," he chuckled. "Won't be much of an issue now, will she? Her reputation died in the capital!"

Still cackling like a madman, he lunged towards a poster depicting a woman with sharp ears.

With exaggerated flourish, he gave a small twirl and put the back of his hand to his forehead, still grinning. "Ah, Emilia, just Emilia, the underdog's got my attention, I won't lie! How inspiring she's been! From rags to riches! From no family name to possible ruler! Oh ho ho, if I was a poor kid'n the slums I'd have voted for her! Of course, that'd be before I noticed she's a ha~lf-de~vil. Poor kid's going places, but the throne won't be one of 'em!"

"Acubens," she interjected at last. "Save your confession of love for later and get to the point."

"Oh, Gihl, you're jealous…you know you'll forever hold a special place in my heart!"

"Shut it and talk."

"How'm I s'posed to do that!?"

She groaned, and he finally straightened up.

"Fine, you big killjoy. Did anyone'ver invite you to a party, Gihl? I can see why they wouldn't. Anyway, Emilia - just Emilia - is the worst-off candidate at the moment, barely holding'nto the race, heh! Get it!? Ah, course ya wouldn't, you oversized hairball…so, Emilia~ here's doin' pretty bad, but we can help! 'Why should we?' I hear you think, and I answer that with 'Well, Gihlean, if you paid literally any'ttention at'll, you woulda seen how she has absolutely no policies, political experience, or support at all, which makes her ideal~ to our little game!'"

To emphasize, he traced a circle with his finger around the Mathers estate on the map before pointing said finger at the half-elf's poster like it owed him money.

"This girl's dumb, inexperienced, and quite unfortunate-lookin', which means…"

Anticipation was visible in his mad gaze as he looked to the muscular woman for an answer.

She provided one. "If she wins, she will run the country to the ground."

"Excellent!" he quipped. "Marvelous! See, you get me! We even finish each other's sentences an' all'hat!"

"You are one coldhearted man, Acubens."

"I strive for perfection, an' I always preferred the cold…"

Tossing his theatrics aside, the Cardinal stepped toward the final poster, which showed a woman with a military uniform much like his own.

"You know her best," Gihlean commented. "Go ahead."

With a sigh, he began, "Crusch Karsten. I remember'er father, Meckart, back from the ol' days. The Duchess…is our perfect puppet. She's so, so, so~ unbelievably idiotic…that her mere presence'n the race makes me think some divine being's helpin' us out. Crusch Karsten is a fool, and a well-meaning one, but the roads to misery're paved with good intentions. As of this moment onward, she will be our main candidate. Above all else, she MUST win the throne."

"Your past relations play no role in this?"

"Gihl…we met 'er when she was ten years old…things've changed. Poor girl's lost it all, and she's hit rock bottom…but now it's up to us to give 'er a shovel and make her dig deeper."

He raised his right hand and began counting.

"First, she'll break the covenant, which'll leave the country jus' begging to be attacked. Second, she'll face revolts from those who'll stick to the Divine Dragon till the end. Third, she's naïve enough to be lured astray. Fourth…she'll be the greatest scapegoat…no, she'll be…perfect~."

The Cardinal stared at her poster, and his blue eyes sparkled not with life but malice while his smile betrayed the dark intentions behind an otherwise unassuming appearance.

"Gihlean, prepare my carriage. I've just got~ to visit the duchess."

Turning to face her, Acubens tilted his head backwards, closed his eyes, spread his arms wide, and laughed.

"Surely she won't mind reuniting with a childhood friend."

"How do I look?"

"Better than me, that's for sure! How can the boss even lug around this stupid thing!? It weighs so much! I swear, he's got enough fire crystals here to blow a city sky-high!"

"Could you please keep your mouth shut for once and stop commenting on every trivial detail? The Cardinal's got business to conduct, and you know how this goes."

"Is he ever gonna buy a conversation mirror? It'd save us all this trouble!"

"You know how this works: every time he goes outside, we're to fool any potential attackers."

"Yeah, they'll mistake us for him! We'll end up dead!"

"That's what we get paid to do. Now come on, finish up with your coat and get your boots. Ah, remember to sound like him too."

"I'm trying!"

"We don't get paid to try, Jiv."

Subaru awoke outside the inn.

The first hint that something was off was the fact that he could not feel Shaula's spine-crunching hug around him. That led him to realize he was not just outside the abandoned inn, but very far away from it, with the building being little more than a speck on the horizon. Then he felt the dirt and grass around him.

It took him another second to see the person in front of him.

"I do sincerely apologize for disturbing your rest, Bishop Natsuki."

Only a couple of meters from him stood the Witch of Vanity herself.

"I am aware this may not be the best moment for a heart-to-heart," she spoke. "Unfortunately, the circumstances do not really afford us the luxury of having a proper sit-down."

"How did you even get here!?"

The Witch chuckled. "That would be a secret, Bishop Natsuki. Maybe one day you will learn it."

Recovering from the shock of being dragged kilometers from his bed in the blink of an eye and coming face-to-face with his still-mystifying employer, Subaru took a second to stand and wipe away the dirt on his clothes. "Alright, alright, but I'll hold you to it! And why did you even drag me away from the inn!? You could've knocked!"

"Again, a thousand apologies, but I could not let Mister Wolff see me. As a mere cultist, he is unaware of my existence, and I work hard to keep it that way."

"Really?" he asked. "Man, you're a little antisocial…"

"Better safe than sorry, as you would say."

"Alright, but that still doesn't answer why you dragged me out here! Can't you, I don't know, leave me a letter or something!?"

She smiled at him, clearly trying to be patient. "Time is of the essence, unfortunately. The Duchess Karsten is in the capital, ready to receive a guest who presents a large threat to us at the moment."

"A threat? To us? You're being too humble! I've seen the other Archbishops mess around and there's nothing that can hurt them!"

"They can hurt each other."

He did not respond as the realization of her words settled in.

"That's right, Bishop Natsuki," she said. "The Duchess will meet with Acubens Kolwin, who conspires against us. Despite being given an Authority, he has repaid my gift with treason."

Pandora shrugged.

"It is unfortunate that Pride has fallen in the hands of such a man, but I believe you can set him on the right path, Bishop Natsuki."

For Otto Suwen, tonight was going better than usual.

In a stroke of unnatural luck, he wound up with some buyers for all the oil he had purchased some time back!

It was the first good thing to happen to him in a month: between the attack on the capital, buying too much oil, getting scammed, getting mugged, someone throwing up in his hat, and more, this was the first time he was actually happy!

Sure, the buyers were creepy men in red suits and violet masks, but that did not necessarily bother him. Everyone had their secrets, and he could understand wanting to keep one's face from being recognized. It was no big deal at all!

"Merchant!" one of the men called out, setting down a barrel. "Is this all!?"

"Yeah!" he answered, evident giddiness in his voice. "I can't thank you guys enough! Seriously, you saved me from some really big trouble!"

The buyer's leader responded, "Nah, I should thank you instead, green guy. We've been looking for oil for days now, and no one seemed to have it in stock…if anything, you saved us from trouble!"

"Please, it's nothing! Let's call it even, alright?"

"That's perfect!"

With that they shook hands.

"Rendon," the leader said. "Take the oil to Acuah's contact and tell her we're set. Also, get Mishiz back here; the boss said something about coming here to the capital, so we'd best be spotless and sober."

Again, the leader turned to Otto.

"I gotta thank you again, merchant. Remind me to buy you a drink someday!"

"It's nothing, really!"

For a second, they remained in silence, until the leader spoke, "Well, time to get going, I suppose. If the Karstens find us here, they'll start pesterin' us again…"

"Really?" Otto asked. "I thought they were respectable and all."

"They are, don't get me wrong, but…their hiring strategies are a bit too aggressive! If they start pestering you too, give me a shout an' I'll come help, alright?"

He was about to turn down the man's offer when he handed him a small flyer.

"Merchant, if you ever want a job, we're hiring! Someone with your skill could really help!"

With that, he turned and left.

Otto held the flyer in his hands.

On it was a symbol resembling a crab.

The very next morning, as the day began in earnest, a carriage arrived at the Karsten residence in the capital.

While its driver was escorted to the stables, one of its passengers awaited inside the manor to be called upon.

The passenger was a man with a military coat draped over his shoulders who had once been another inhabitant of this place.

"Gotta say," he spoke to himself. "Like what she's done with the place…Meckart was never one for decorations…"

"Lady Karsten changed many things when she assumed her role."

Turning to his left, the man saw a servant of the Karstens, an elderly man with a white beard who seemed the personification of the word "butler."

It was someone the man had never seen before, and that worried him.

With the best smile he could muster, he said, "I would suppose she did! One who rules must act and look the part. No one can expect the Duchess to live in a run-down house in the slums!"

"That is a sentiment you two share," the butler responded.

"I'd hope so! I remember when the Duchess was just a kid…this house didn't shine as much back then…there's something missin'…or someone…"

"You might be referring to the Prince Fourier."

Now, the man's smile became legitimate. "Ah, yes, that kid. Vaguely recall'im, but…he and the Duchess must've been close. I'll express my condolences with her when we meet."

"You could do that right now," came a new voice.

Turning to his right, the man saw the Duchess standing there, accompanied by her ever-loyal knight. Strange, he could swear the knight looked familiar, like someone he met before…

"Duchess! Ah, it's been ages! Your father would be proud of what you've done with the place!"

"Nyeow, nyeow, what kind of tryoublesome visitor dryops by so unyexpectedly?" the Duchess's knight asked.

"Ferris is right," she added. "All I have heard is that you were acquainted with my father, but nothing more."

"Well," the visitor smiled. "It's quite the tale, and I'm sure you're busy enough as is, so hopefully we can leave that for another day. Now, would it be alright for us to discuss something important in your office?"

"Only if you identify yourself first."

"I guess it can't be helped. Ah, my name's Acubens Kolwin. Worked for your father as a mercenary 'or some years, but you were youn' back then, doubt you remember me, heh."

Everyone in the room held their gazes, not uttering a single word as they looked at the visitor.

"That seems to be right," Crusch said. "Well then, sir Kolwin, we will discuss whatever was important enough to bring you here unannounced."

He nodded, and the four began walking towards the Duchess's office.

Along the way, Acubens asked, "About your knight, Duchess…I seem to recall meeting someone like him, but I'd be lyin' if I said it was him. Your knight's name is 'Ferris?' I seem to recall someone named 'Felix Argyle' who resembled your knight 'uite closely…"

"That's because young Ferris is Felix Argyle," the butler explained.

"Oh, that's…something to ponder. I don't remember him dressing…like that."

Crusch replied, "Ferris has a right to dress as he pleases. If that dress is what he chose, then he may wear it."

Flustered, Acubens threw his hands up. "I didn't mean to insinuate anythin'! I was 'ust saying! I didn't mean it in a bad way, of course, it's just that I'm not very used to seein' this kinda thing!"

"It's undyerstandyable, nya! Jyust try to ryemember it!"

"Oh, don't you worry about that…you'll find my memory's sharper than it seems…"

Finally, they arrived at the Duchess's office and stepped inside.

Inside, Crusch sat on her desk, with Ferris to her right and the butler to her left while Acubens sat opposite the three of them.

"Well, Duchess," he began. "Let me make this 'ery clear: I'm here to help, despite what I may…ask of you…"

No one spoke.

"I've received information about a certain document that could 'elp everyone alive," he continued. "In a matter o' months, I'll be in possession of this document, and I'll promptly hand it over to you. I assure you, Duchess: this document will propel you such a distance ahead of your opponents that they won't even recover in a decade."

"You talk of this 'document' like it was some miracle," Crusch spoke, impassive. "Perhaps you could enlighten us as to what it is."

Acubens grinned, and the tiniest, most negligible bit of madness slipped through his façade. "It'd be a pleasure to do so!"

As everyone awaited his response, he leaned forward and made a dismissive wave with his hand.

"This document's the potential to bring about the end of the Witch Cult, and I'm willin' to turn it over when it's in my possession."

AN: Wait, wait a second, hold on...you mean to tell me...Worcestershire sauce is a real thing? How? I thought it was a myth...