The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 6

By Derald Snyder

Adrian Harold Johns was certainly not what one would call 'spineless'.

As a soldier in the Leanbox Army, he'd learned quickly to control his fear and not let it rule over his decision-making process. And while he hadn't exactly risen through the ranks (mostly due to politics), there was no denying he was one of the best soldiers Leanbox could have...

That being said, even he knew when it was time for a tactical retreat.

"OUT!"

Adrian barely dodged the chair flung at him, feeling one its legs briefly catch his shirt before tumbling away. "Augh, I'm sorry, Peashy~!"

"OUT! OUT! OUT!" Peach screamed in red-faced embarrassment, one arm covering her bare assets, as she flung whatever she could get her hands on with her other arm. "I don't *care* if you're my boyfriend, you have not earned the right to see this yet!"

"I didn't know!" Adrian protested as he fled. "I swear to the goddess, I didn't know...!" He ran into the kitchen, where he appeared to be out of range of his beloved's wrath...

"My, that didn't go over very well, did it?" Adrian looked up at the source of the voice- Chika Hazozaki, who was currently stirring some dough in a large bowl.

"Oracle!" he gasped as he tried to catch his breath, "Why didn't you tell me Peashy was getting dressed?"'

"Oh, did I forget to mention that? I am *so* sorry..." Chika's voice practically dripped with sarcasm.

"Damn it, Hazozaki!" Peach's voice echoed from the next room over. "I should've known...!"

Adrian's embarrassment dissipated, swiftly replaced with anger as he realized he'd been played. "Why, Oracle... just- why?!"

"Just wanted to see how Peashy would react," Chika smirked.

The Leanbox soldier shook his head. "You know, I'm disinclined to hit women, but you pull another stunt like this, and I will drop you."

"I'll let him," a voice spoke up from behind the Oracle, causing her to whip around, coming eye-to-eye with a quite displeased CPU.

"L-Lady Vert!" Chika squeaked. "C-come on, i-it was just a joke!"

"No one is laughing," the goddess intoned sternly, her arms crossed. "And that recipe you're making... there's only enough for two people. I believe we've discussed this before, Chika..."

"Lady Vert..."

"You're sleeping on the cot tonight," Vert declared, causing a low piano chord to go off in her Oracle's brain as her skin paled and her eye shrunk to white circles.

"And it was in that moment, she knew, she'd mucked up," Adrian narrated.

"Serves her right," muttered Peach as she walked into the kitchen, finally dressed. "I try to make nice with her, and this is the thanks I get..."

"At least *one* of you is trying to get along..." Vert sighed. "That aside, why are you here, Adrian?"

"Umm..." the man briefly put a hand behind his head. "It's kind of a strange story... you remember that Orange Heart character?"

"How could I forget?!" Peach growled. "She completely ruined our prank on Neptune! Destroyed all the evidence, and your mobile device!"

"Yeah, what's worse, I had to buy a new one at full price, 'cause my insurance agent was like, 'Well, if a CPU destroyed your phone, you must have deserved it somehow!' Sheesh..." Adrian then cleared his throat. "Anyway... I ran into her when I got off duty, and she said she had a message for you from Nepsy- I assume she meant Lady Neptune- as well as a 'late Valentine's present' as she called it."

"So what was the message?" Vert asked curiously.

"Basically, that Peach is invited to the Planeptune Basilicom, because little Peashy is over there today, and there was someone else she wanted Peach to meet as well..."

"So where's the present?" Peach asked.

"Left it outside," her boyfriend responded. "Didn't want to take the chance of it being another revenge-prank..."

"Not a bad idea," Vert nodded. "Perhaps you should put your armor on before you try opening it, Peach..." The other blonde nodded and went to retrieve her armor. "As for you, Chika..."

"I know, Lady Vert," the green haired-woman nodded vigorously. "I have to make food for Macintosh..."

"And?" Vert raised an eyebrow.

Chika flushed. "A-and I'll make sure it doesn't give her gas or make her sick this time!" Vert nodded in satisfaction, before turning and walking out of the kitchen...

*Later, outside the Basilicom...*

Peach, in full body armor, cautiously approached the gift-wrapped box with a purple bow on top, while Adrian and Vert stood at a safe distance. The soldier gingerly grabbed one of the ribbons, before yanking, the bow becoming undone as a result.

Nothing else happened.

The blonde soldier approached again, putting one hand underneath the lid, before flipping it up and off the box, then rolling away in one smooth motion.

Again, nothing. No explosions, bursts of paint, or anything else.

"If there was a trap, you think it would have been set off by now," Vert observed.

"When you think you might be dealing with a trap, take nothing for granted," said Adrian. "Even when you think you've disarmed the trap, it's a good idea to stay alert, just in case..."

Which was exactly what Peashy was doing, as she inched her way back up to box, before looking inside...

"What the... dolls?" she muttered in confusion, as she reached into the box.

"Dolls?" Vert repeated, slowly walking towards Peach as she pulled a Neptune doll out. "My, that's adorable..."

"The dolls themselves could be booby-trapped," Adrian pointed out.

Peach experimentally squeezed the Neptune doll, before shaking her head. "I don't feel anything but stuffing in this one." She set the doll aside and pulled out the next one. "Is this... me?"

"More like you as a little kid," her boyfriend muttered. "Still kinda cute, though."

After checking to make sure this doll also was not booby-trapped, Peach reached into the box and pulled out the last doll... it was dressed in light colored pajamas, with deep purple hair tied in a single large braid.

"Who's that?" Adrian asked confusedly.

"I believe that's supposed to be Planeptune's CPU from the Ultradimension," Vert explained. Her name is-"

"Plutia..." Peach spoke up.

"That's right!" gasped Vert. "How did you know?"

Peach did not answer, as she continued to stare at the doll in her hands, which were slightly shaking. "It can't be..." she whispered. Abruptly she straightened up, before turning and walking up to her goddess, then removing her helmet to look her in the eye.

"Lady Vert... I need to go to Planeptune, A-SAP!"

*To be continued...*