The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 10

by Derald Snyder

"HAZOZAKI!"

Vert let out a noise that was a combination of a groan and a sigh, sending a message to her fellow 4GO guild members that she had urgent business, before logging off and pulling the headphones off her head. This simply couldn't wait.

As she walked out of her room, Chika came running up in a panic. "She's gonna kill me, Lady Vert!" she squealed as she hid herself behind her goddess, Peach arriving not long after with murder in her eyes.

"What happened this time?" Vert asked pointedly.

"She spray-painted my armor, all different colors!" the blonde soldier growled. "I could tolerate the face-painting and the whoopee cushions, but *this* is going too far! Do you have any idea how long it's gonna take to clean up?!" She began to march forward again...

"Enough!" Vert held up a hand, Peach halting as a result. "Peach, why don't you go outside and go for a jog or something... before you do something you regret."

Peashy didn't move.

"That's an order, Staff Sergeant," Vert insisted.

Fortunately the soldier's military discipline overrode her anger, as she stood at attention, giving a curt bow before turning and marching out. "As for you, Chika... you're going to clean Peach's armor for her. And I *won't* be satisfied until it's spick, span, and sparkling! Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Lady Vert!" the Oracle nodded vigorously, swiftly dashing off to do as her goddess demanded...

Vert sighed as she rubbed her temples in frustration. (Things simply *cannot* go on like this... sooner or later, something has to give...)

*Later that day...*

"And that's the situation," Vert finished her explanation to Histoire over the video feed. "I'm at my wit's end here... Chika will simply *not* take the hint no matter what punishment I levy on her... Honestly, I think she's just doing it for the attention at this point..."

"I see..." the fairy nodded. "But do you have any idea what you are asking?"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures," Vert quoted. "And I'm feeling fairly desperate at this point..."

"I don't wish to sound like a broken record, but are you absolutely certain there is no other way?" Histoire pressed.

"I've already tried everything I can think of, within reason," the busty CPU replied as she rubbed her temples again. "Unless *you* have a better idea, in which case, I'm all ears..."

"Unfortunately, it would probably take me three weeks to come up with a better idea," the all-seeing tome conceded. "Very well, Vert. I'll see what I can do. But we should take care not to traumatize your bodyguard in the process... I assume you still haven't told her?"

"She's not exactly in the right state of mind to learn the truth right now, for obvious reasons," Vert pointed out. "I'm certain I can work something out, though..."

"For her sake, I hope so," Histy nodded. "I'll see if I can get Neptune to contact her..." The camera panned slightly, to reveal a certain sleeping CPU. "...just as soon as I can get her to wake up."

Vert half-smiled at the sight. "Good luck with that... and I mean that sincerely."

"Indeed," Histoire sweat-dropped, "I fear I'll need all the help I can get. Farewell for now..." With that, the transmission cut off.

"Now then..." Histoire turned to the sleeping Neptune. "How do I go about this...?" If Uzume were here, she could have her use her megaphone to wake up Neptune... Unfortunately, she was off doing a Quest and couldn't be contacted.

"I wonder if Nepgear would be able to help..." Histoire pondered. Suddenly, as if she had performed a summoning spell, the CPU Candidate appeared in the doorway.

"Hello, Histoire! Neptune still asleep?" Nepgear greeted.

"Yes..." the fairy confirmed. "And I need to wake her up so she can contact a certain someone to do a favor for Vert..."

"Well, worry no more!" the goddess proclaimed confidently. "I've got something that's guaranteed to work!" With that, she dragged in a strange mechanical apparatus, with what looked like several gloved hands attached.

Histoire sweat-dropped at the sight. "Isn't that your robot project that went berserk and wreaked havoc in the Basilicom?"

"Ehehe..." Nepgear giggled nervously. "Well, it was supposed to be a cleaning robot, but didn't really work out. It made things even messier than before! But now..." she gestured dramatically. "I've completely rebuilt and repurposed it! And I'm pretty certain I've worked out most of the bugs and glitches..."

"Repurposed? So it's not a cleaning robot anymore?" Histoire inquired curiously.

"Nope! I've redesigned it for a far simpler task!" Nepgear stated as she moved the robot next to her sleeping sister. "I call it... the 'Wake-er-up 2000!'" After getting it into position, she pulled out a remote with a big red button. "Time to wake up~!" With that, she pressed the button.

Immediately the machine went to work, two hands gently grabbing Neptune by the ankles, then two other hands removing her shoes...

Before tickling her sock-clad feet intensely. Immediately the goddess' eyes shot open as she began to thrash about... "EEEEEEeeeee! Ahahahahaha, ahahahahahahaaaa!"

"Well, that's one way to do it, I suppose..." Histoire muttered.

"Are you awake now, sis?" Nepgear asked rhetorically, grinning.

"YES! I'm awake, I'm awa-ha-ha-ake! TURN IT OO-HA-HA-HA-OOOOOFF!" The CPU Candidate pressed the button again, the machine shutting down as a result. "Heeheeheeheeheeeeeee... you suck, Nep Jr..." Neptune grunted as she pulled her feet out of the robot's grip.

"Well, it's your own fault I have to resort to drastic measures to wake you up..." Nepgear pointed out.

Histoire then cleared her throat. "Well, now that you're awake, Neptune... I just got a communique from Vert. She needs you to contact a certain someone in the Ultradimension..."

"Huh...?" Neptune blinked in confusion. "What would Vert want with somebody over there?"

The all-seeing tome sighed as she explained the situation to the goddesses... By the time she was finished, both had incredulous expressions on their faces.

"You can't be serious!" Neptune protested. "Does she have any idea what the Nep she's asking?!"

"I have to agree... I can only see this ending badly," Nepgear sweat-dropped.

"She said, and I quote, 'desperate times call for desperate measures'," Histoire stated. "I'm not exactly fond of this idea myself, however, as I said to Vert, it would take me three weeks to come up with anything better..."

Neptune heaved a sigh... "Guess it can't be helped... but I'm not gonna be responsible for any collateral damage, hear?"

"Yeah, but this is Vert we're talking about... surely she can come up with a plan to limit that..." Nepgear postulated.

Histy nodded grimly. "I certainly hope so... for the elder Peashy's sake."

*To be continued...*