The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 12

by Derald Snyder

(Music- 'Iris Heart's Theme')

"This *can't* be happening!" cried Chika as she and Peach fled through the forest, hearing Iris Heart's chuckling overhead. "Why her? Why here? Why now?!"

"Wish I had an answer!" Peach shouted back between gasps of oxygen. "We're screwed if she catches us though- in more ways than one!"

"Oh, I assure you," Iris Heart's voice echoed from up above, "there's only *one* lady I'm interested in catching..." Suddenly a leather whip lashed out from above, wrapping around Chika's upper arm and pulling her up. "I've got you now~"

"KYAAAAAAA!" the Oracle screamed in terror as Peashy screeched to a halt. Terrified as she was, the bodyguard wasn't going to let that evil CPU have Chika without a fight! Turning around, the blonde crouched and tensed her leg muscles...

No-one was more surprised than Iris Heart to see the armored soldier burst out of the tree cover, unable to react before Peach grabbed her around the neck as gravity reasserted itself, all three women crashing back down to earth, though Chika's fall was cushioned by the CPU's body.

Peach wasted no time wrenching the whip out of Iris Heart's hands, before pushing Chika away. "*Run*, Hazozaki!"

"Well, aren't you feisty," the CPU grunted as she tried to pry Peach's hand off her neck. "And just why are you helping her? You and I both know she needs to be taught a lesson..."

"Not like that, she doesn't," Peach growled. "Especially not from you!"

"Well, that's too bad," Iris Heart sighed. "You know, if you had just kept running, I would have let you go... but now, you've forced my hand. THUNDER!" The soldier screamed as an electric discharge ran through her body, before the CPU kneed her in the groin area and shoved her off. "That metal armor might have helped you against those wolves, but it's nothing but a lightning rod for me~" She then raised her sword to block Chika's spear strike, without even turning to look at her. "And just what do you think *you're* doing? Don't tell me you suddenly care for her..."

"That's not it..." Chika grunted. "I owe her one for coming back for me! And Chika Hazozaki repays her debts!" With that, she lashed out with a Rainy Ratnapura attack, only for the dominatrix to effortlessly block each strike. Iris then retaliated with a Drive Stab, slashing at the Oracle several times before viciously kicking her into a tree. The CPU's weapon then transformed to whip-mode, lashing out at Chika...

Only for the green-haired woman to recover and roll away in the nick of time, the weapon's end embedding itself in the tree trunk. "I'm not... done yet...!"

"You're only prolonging our own suffering, you know," Iris Heart sighed as her whip retracted into sword-mode. "You should just submit to your punishment, it'd be simpler that way..."

"Says you," Chika retorted. "I still have one card left to play!"

"Oh?" Iris raised an eyebrow. "And what would that be...?"

The Oracle gave a smirk. "My Drive Meter is full. And with this, your demise is assured. SPIRAL BREAK!" She suddenly charged forward with a speed that the CPU was unable to react to in time, getting slashed several times, then getting subjected to a rapid-fire stabbing, before being slashed one final time, sending her flying backwards. "And now, the final blow!" Chika declared as the hurled her spear with all her might...

Only for the CPU to slice it in half, the EXE drive music screeching to a halt. "Really, Chika? That was your final maneuver? Your damage barely broke triple digits!" She then materialized another whip, lashing out and catching the other woman by the throat, dragging her in close. "Clearly, it's been a while since you last went adventuring..."

"No..." Chika squeaked in terror as sweat ran down her face. "Someone help me..."

"LEAVE HER ALONE!" Peach's voice rang out.

"SUPER THUNDER!" Iris Heart intoned, a far more powerful lighting strike lashing out, Peach's armor easily conducting the charge...

But the soldier had shed her armor, throwing the chest piece into the air to intercept the attack as she ran forward, slamming her elbow into the dominatrix's ribcage.

THAT registered, Iris Heart's eyes going wide, letting out a gasp of pain as she bent over sideways, Chika breaking free and scrambling away. Peashy then followed up with a vicious uppercut, snapping her enemy upright again, before kneeing her in the crotch. "Bet that doesn't feel good, bitch!"

"Why you...!" The CPU grunted as her sword-whip lashed out again, coiling tightly around the blonde, who cried out in pain at feeling the sharp edges dig into her flesh... then Iris Heart added an electrical discharge on top of that, Peach's shrieks of agony echoing throughout the forest...

As the blonde soldier fell to her knees, Iris shook her head as she lamented, "You know, I really didn't want to do that to you... but you just HAD to be so foolishly stubborn..." She then caught Chika trying to sneak away out of the corner of her eye. "And just where are *you* going?" Chika gasped and tried to run, but the CPU caught up almost instantly, pinning the Oracle to another tree.

"Now then," Iris Heart smirked as she pulled out a riding crop, "Let's continue where we left off, shall we~?"

"NOOOOOOOO!" came the scream... but it came not from Chika, but from Peach, who had stood back up, wreathed in a battle aura, letting loose with a feral roar as she abruptly shattered her bonds, sword segments scattering everywhere!

"What?!" the CPU gasped in shock as Peashy charged forward, fist cocked, putting her arms up to block the punch...

But it was a feint, Peach's fist coming up from below instead, the uppercut breaking the dominatrix's guard, snapping her head back, almost upside down... By the time she had righted herself, the soldier was weaving her head back and forth in a rough figure eight pattern. (What is she doing?!)

Even if she *had* realized what Peach was doing, she had no chance to defend herself as the blonde used the momentum of her weaving to slam in punches from left and right, hitting the CPU in the face repeatedly, Chika looking on incredulously as blood began to fly from Iris Heart's face from the successive blows...

After 15 or so blows, Peach finished up with a final vicious right hook that sent the dominatrix to the ground, who bounced once before going still, her head falling limply to the side, though her eyes remained open.

Five seconds passed. Ten seconds. Twenty.

But Iris Heart did not rise again.

"I... I think you got her...!" Chika gasped in awe.

(Neptunia Victory Jingle!)

Peach let her breath out in a rush as she let her fists drop, turning and slowly trudging over to where her colleague was sitting, falling to her knees as she and Chika gratefully embraced each other.

"Peach," Chika began, her voice cracking, "I take back every bad thing I ever said or did to you."

"Likewise, Hazozaki... no, Chika," Peach corrected herself, before pulling the Oracle to her feet. "C'mon, we better get outta here before she wakes up... and we have to report this to Lady Vert..."

"Right," the other woman nodded as they began their trek back to Gargan City... About a minute later, another woman came down from the sky, setting down next to the prone CPU. She had green hair done into a ponytail, dressed in white, with E-cup breasts and purple power-symbol eyes.

"I believe they're gone now, Plutia," stated Green Heart.

Iris Heart slowly raised a hand. "Heal," she managed to get out despite her sore jaw, a wave of green sparkles washing over her. The CPU then pulled herself into a sitting position, heaving a sigh. "Well, I can safely say that didn't go quite as planned... That Peashy is stronger than I gave her credit for..."

"Indeed," Green Heart nodded. "Though, while I didn't expect events to transpire in this fashion, I think this was a more desirable outcome, as far as I'm concerned."

"You mean the fact that your Oracle and bodyguard seem to have come to an understanding... without me having to teach Chika the error of her ways?"

"Exactly," the Leanbox CPU nodded again. "I thought it would take nothing less than a seemingly life-or-death situation for those two to come to terms with each other..." She then turned to face the Ultradimension goddess. "I do thank you, Plutia, for going out of your way to help me out here..."

"Anything for Peashy~" Plutia said happily as her transformation reverted. "Anyway, I'm kinda sleepy after that fight, so... g'night Vert..." With that, the purple-haired CPU curled up and went to sleep.

Green Heart just sighed as she picked up the slumbering girl in her arms, before beginning her flight back to the Basilicom...

*To be concluded...*