The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 18

by Derald Snyder

"You sicced Iris Heart on Adrian?! Peashy, what were you thinking?!" Vert said disconcertedly over the phone.

"I'm sorry!" Peach squeaked in distress. "And what's worse, Adrian turned out to be innocent! I can't forgive myself...!"

"A-all right, calm down," The CPU ordered. "First of all, is Adrian the only one Plutia's going after...?"

"...oh no," Peach's voice was barely above a whisper. "She'd... she'd go after that girl too, wouldn't she...?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if she did..." Vert sighed. "Hold on, I'm getting another call..." she checked the ID. "Oh, no, it's Leanbox City Military Base... Looks like Sadie already finished her punishment of Adrian."

"Lady Vert!" Peach suddenly yelled. "Y-you have to go to Lastation and stop her! You're the only one who can!"

"Y-yes, of course..." (But she probably won't listen to me in that form, unless...) Suddenly an idea occurred to her. "Peach, I'm going, but no matter what you do, keep your cell phone line open! That's an order!"

"Yes, ma'am!" Peach agreed. "Please hurry!" She then hung up.

"Chika, you're in charge until I get back!" The busty CPU ordered as she transformed. "Also, call Lastation and warn them of what's coming their way!"

"Yes, Lady Vert!" Chika nodded as Green Heart opened the window and flew off...

*A minute later, at the Lastation Basilicom...*

"Y-you're kidding me!" Noire gasped as Chika relayed the bad news to her. "All because Vert's bodyguard caught Petty Officer First Class Johns with K-Sha at precisely the wrong time?! ...Vert's on her way? Good! I'm gonna need all the help I can get here... OK, thanks. Bye!" Lastation's CPU closed her cell phone before calling, "Uni!"

"What is it, sis?!" Uni ran up.

"You need to transform and haul butt to K-Sha's school!" Noire ordered. "Tell her to go and hide somewhere, fast!"

"Huh? But why?" The CPU Candidate asked in confusion.

Noire looked her sister straight in the eye. "Iris Heart is on the warpath."

Uni gasped in shock. "Wh-what?! But why K-Sha? What'd she do?!"

"No time to explain! Go!" Noire yelled, pointing. "I'll hold her here as long as I can!"

"R-right!" Uni nodded, before running and jumping through the window with a *crash!*, invoking her HDD as she fell, using the momentum of gravity to get up to speed as she flew off in the direction of K-Sha's school...

"...You could have opened the window first," Noire muttered as she observed the Uni-sized hole in the glass.

*In the air above Lastation City...*

(I still don't understand why Plutia's after K-Sha of all people!) thought Black Sister as she flew at full speed. (But that doesn't matter! I have to hurry and warn her before...)

"My, where are *you* flying off to in such a rush?" a voice cut into the goddess's thoughts... one that filled her veins with ice. She turned her head...

And sure enough, it was Iris Heart herself flying next to her. (Oh, *shit*! She's here already?!)

"It wouldn't have to do with a certain girl named Keisha, would it?" the dominatrix suggested.

Black Sister immediately screeched to a stop in mid-air. "I don't have to answer you!" she screamed as she summoned her gun and pulled the trigger, Iris Heart easily dodging her shots.

"I'll take that as a yes," the purple-haired goddess chuckled as she closed the distance, grabbing Black Sister in a seemingly affectionate embrace. Stroking the CPU Candidate's chin, she asked, "Perhaps you could tell me where she is...?"

"Not in a million years!" Black Sister retorted defiantly, kneeing her opponent in the groin, then backing off just enough to put her gun's barrel right in her face. "Take this!" she screamed as she unleashed a bright blue beam of energy at point-blank range...

Only to feel a whip snag her around the neck, dragging her down. "Missed me~" Iris taunted.

(How did she dodge at point-blank range?!) Black Sister thought in panic, just before she was slammed into the ground, her transformation breaking as a result.

"Now then..." Iris Heart smirked as she put her high-heel on Uni's groin. "Care to tell me where she is...?"

*A few minutes earlier...*

"School's out!" K-Sha proclaimed happily as she exited the building alongside a few NPC students. "I wonder if I'll be able to see Noire today?"

"Sheesh, K, why don't you just propose to her already?!" one her fellow students ribbed, causing the others to laugh as the brunette blushed red.

"Hey, there's something going on up in the sky!" another student pointed. Everyone looked up, to see the two CPUs fighting.

"Th...that's Uni!" K-Sha gasped as she squinted at the figures in the sky. "But who's she fighting?"

The students then saw Uni unleash a blue beam of energy. "She got 'em!" One student proclaimed triumphantly.

"No she didn't!" another student cried as Uni was pulled down to the ground with an audible crash.

"Oh no! Uni's in trouble!" K-Sha immediately dashed off towards the scene. "You guys, call the police!"

"Wait, K!" one of the students called after her, to no avail...

*Back with Uni...*

"Why do you want to punish K-Sha anyway?!" Uni protested from her position on the ground. "I deserve to at least know that much!"

"She broke my dear Peashy's heart, that's why," Iris Heart responded. "No one hurts Peashy like that and gets away with it- be she child or adult." She pressed her heel a little harder into Uni's groin causing her to cry out in pain. "Last chance, Uni... Where is Keisha?!"

Suddenly, the familiar *ratatatatatat* of a machine gun rang out, Iris Heart screaming in surprise and pain as she was pelted from behind by several bullets, before turning to see the offender...

"Right behind you," K-Sha stated, the barrel of her machine gun smoking.

"K-Sha!" Uni gasped in surprise.

"K-Sha?" Iris Heart blinked. "That's a strange way to pronounce it..."

"Let her go," the brunette calmly demanded. "I'm the one you want..."

"No, K-Sha!" Uni protested. "You don't stand a cha-aaaggghh!" she cried out as Iris kicked her in the groin, before kicking her aside. The HDD CPU then strode up to K-Sha, summoning her sword.

"So you're the one who broke my dear friend's heart?" she stated. "The one who tried to seduce her Mr. Adrian away from her?"

"I seduced no one," K-Sha said calmly. "Your friend, if she's who I think she is, got the wrong idea..."

"And I'm just supposed to take you at your word?" Iris retorted. "Even if what you say is true, you still caused her so much heartache... for that I can't forgive you." Her sword transformed to whip-mode, which lashed against the ground. "And you will not leave until you accept all of my boiling rage..."

"Oh, yeah?" the brunette shot back. "I don't know who you are or where you came from, but if you think I'm just going to submit to your so-called rage, you've got another thing coming. TRANSFORM!" With that, she was engulfed in a golden light, causing the dominatrix to step back in mild shock. When the light faded, the Gold Third member was now wearing a black hat with small decorative metal wings, and an eyepatch over her right eye, while the iris of her uncovered eye was now gold in color. A strange metal apparatus floated behind her, with a large 'K' in a circle labeled on its right side.

"This is the Gold Form!" K-Sha declared, "A power that can easily keep pace with your HDD!" With that, she summoned two small golden machine guns, cocking them.

Iris Heart simply laughed, not intimidated in the least. "Well, this is interesting... so the little heart-breaker wants to play, does she? Well, I'm game!" She lashed her sword-whip against the ground again. "Shall we, then~?"

"It's show time," K-Sha affirmed as she took aim...

*To be continued...*