The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 29

by Derald Snyder

"Well, it seems like your visit with Neptune did you some good," Vert observed as she and Peach walked leisurely through the streets of Leanbox City, the latter clad in her armor sans her helmet.

"A little bit," Peashy nodded. "I had a good laugh while I was over there, thanks to a funny story from Nepgear..."

"Well, that's nice... hmm?" Vert stopped as she observed something out of the corner of her eye...

"Huh? What's up, Lady Vert...?" Peach then saw it too- a young man climbing and jumping on the nearby architecture. "Who's that?"

"I have no idea," Vert replied. "He seems to be quite the acrobat, though..."

"I think the term is 'parkour', Lady Vert," Peach corrected. "Acrobats fly through the air, but what he's doing is quite different..."

"How so?" Vert turned to her bodyguard.

"Well, the basic principle of parkour is to get from Point A to Point B in the most efficient way possible," the blonde explained. "After all, the shortest distance between two points is always a straight line, so the point is to go over, under, around, or between obstacles as fast as possible. And what better way to hone your skills than to use city architecture?"

"I see," Vert nodded. "Was this part of your training in the army, then?"

"Um, well..." Peach put a hand behind her head. "Well, not exactly... I mean, yeah, there's obstacle courses and stuff I had to do in the army, but I was kinda dabbling in parkour back when I was still a teenager... Oh, look, here he comes." Indeed, the man in question had just hopped off a low balcony, briefly running along the wall of the building before curling into a ball, rolling off a dumpster and coming up on his feet, letting his breath out in a rush.

"Bravo! Well done!" Vert called out, clapping her hands.

"Yeah, nice show!" Peach complimented.

"Huh...?" The young man looked up, showing an average face with a mustache and short goatee, with decently-combed short dark brown hair. His blue eyes went wide upon seeing the CPU herself standing a short distance away. "L-Lady Vert?!" He immediately went down on one knee, bowing his head. "I-I didn't know you were watching..."

"It's quite all right. Stand up, please," the goddess gently commanded, the man promptly standing, though his head remained bowed. "We just happened to be passing through when we saw you doing that... parkour thing."

"Is that right," the man muttered.

"Yeah, that was pretty cool stuff!" Peach said as she walked up. "What's your name?"

"My name...? Oh, right! Yeah, guess I should introduce myself..." He cleared his throat as he looked Peach in the eye, holding out his hand. "Hello, I'm A-Mac!"

"And I'm Peashy!" the blonde replied with a grin as she grabbed A-Mac's hand in a firm shake, being conscious not to crush his hand, though he still winced from the grip.

"Peashy...? Coulda sworn I heard that name somewhere before..." the young man muttered.

"Perhaps you went to the same school at some point?" Vert suggested.

"Doubt it," Peach shook her head. "Need I remind you I'm 29, Lady Vert? I graduated a while ago, and this kid looks like he's still in high school..."

"Just graduated, actually," A-Mac admitted. "Nowhere near the top of my class, unfortunately..."

"Hey, same here," Peach shrugged. "I only barely managed a C average, myself..."

"Really? So how'd you get to be Lady Vert's bodyguard?" the parkour practitioner inquired.

"She's former Leanbox Army," Vert explained, "where she taught other soldiers in close-quarters combat..."

"Leanbox Army?! Whoa, mad respect," A-Mac gave a brief, short bow. "I mean, I'm athletic, sure, but I'm also a grade-A coward. I hear gunfire, I'm runnin' for the hills..."

"Well, I can't use a gun to save my hide, so I think you're safe," Peashy snarked.

"So, is this 'parkour' a hobby of yours, then?" Vert asked.

"Well, kinda..." A-Mac rubbed the back of his head. "Actually, I was training for the upcoming Leanbox Ninja Warrior competition..."

"N-Ninja Warrior?!" Peach gasped. "There's a Ninja Warrior competition here in Leanbox?!"

"Oh, you didn't know?" A-Mac blinked in confusion. "It's been going on for a couple of years now... you didn't know?"

"No I didn't know!" the blonde retorted. "I used to watch the original Ninja Warrior all the time when I was a kid living in Planeptune! I always wanted to enter one of those events..."

"Well, the preliminaries for Leanbox City are happening in about a month," said A-Mac. "Still plenty of time to get ready and enter..."

"Can I enter, Lady Vert?!" Peashy whipped around to face her goddess. "Please...?!"

Vert couldn't help but laugh lightly. "Oh, dear... there is no way I can say no to such pleading eyes... If you want it that bad, Peach, I won't try to stop you. That being said," she frowned, "If you're going to be training for the competition with this young man, I would highly suggest you explain things to Adrian beforehand. We certainly don't want a repeat of what happened last time..."

"Who's Adrian?" asked A-Mac.

"My boyfriend," Peach clarified. "He's the one who got me into the army to begin with..."

"Oh, hey, no problem," A-Mac shrugged. "I mean, I've got a girlfriend myself, so there shouldn't be any problem... how about you bring yours and I'll bring mine, so there won't be any misunderstandings?"

"OK, deal," the soldier nodded in assent. "So, let's exchange cell phone numbers so we can contact each other..."

"Sure thing," the young man nodded. "Let's work hard, toward Total Victory!"

"You know it!" Peashy grinned.

*To be continued...*