The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 33

by Derald Snyder

A-Mac's second try at the Warped Wall was successful, pulling himself up and hitting the buzzer, a low horn sounding as the audience applauded his performance. He turned and waved to the crowds, listening to the hosts complimenting his performance, before looking at where his family and Peashy had gathered...

Only to realize they weren't paying attention to him at all. In fact, it looked like they were arguing over something...

"This is a nightmare. This is a damn nightmare!" Lisa growled as she rubbed her temples, the disguised Vert gently massaging her shoulders.

"But if Peashy and A-Mac are siblings..." iPhone gasped as an epiphany came to her, looking up at Peach. "Does that mean you're OUR big sister, too?!"

"If we all have the same father, then yeah, she is," iPad muttered. "Maybe that means we'll have breasts as big as her's when we grow up..."

"Um, no. No no no," Peach shook her head in disbelief. "I-I mean, you girls don't want 'em this big... th-they give you back problems, and teenage boys keep trying to grab them. T-trust me, you're better off."

"Listen, Lisa," Laura offered, "If it's any consolation, I hold no ill will towards you whatsoever. Steve says he blames himself for what happened between you two back then..."

"Well, isn't that nice of him," Lisa crossed her arms in disgust. "At there's one thing he and I can agree on..."

"Lisa, please," 'Virginia' whispered into her ear. "There's no need to cause a scene out in public..."

"I'm trying my hardest not to, Lady Vert," the elder blonde hissed back.

"Lady Vert?!" cried Laura, iPad, and iPhone.

"MOM, YOU IDIOT!" Peach yelled as the crowds slowly turned to focus on them, Lisa covering her mouth with her hands, her eyes going wide as she realized her slip-up.

"Oy, what?! Let me see!" Before Vert could react, Sergei had removed her cap and sunglasses, exposing her identity to the audience. "Ahh, it is you, Lady Vert! Why were you in disguise?"

"Oh no!" gasped iPad, "I mouthed off to Lady Vert...!" Throwing herself to the ground, she pleaded, "I'm sooo sorry, Lady Vert! Pleeeease don't smite me!"

"Oh dear..." Vert sighed in distress as the crowds gathered around and started chanting her name...

*A few minutes later...*

"Welcome back to Leanbox Ninja Warrior!" Kratt Wiseman announced. "Hey, you remember how we mentioned that Peach Macintosh, our first finisher, was Lady Vert's bodyguard? Well, it turns out Lady Vert was actually attending the event herself!"

"Thing was, she was dressed in casual clothes, so nobody realized it was her at first," Norman P. Chara explained. "And after a little persuasion from the audience, she decided to give our qualifying course a go! Here's her run."

*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*

Vert managed to jump to the first Quad Step, seemingly holding on for dear life, before jumping to the next. She repeated this process for the next two steps, before jumping to safety successfully, the crowd applauding her efforts. Walking up to the Log Grip, she looked it over before slowly wrapping herself around the log, keeping a firm grip as she began to slide down the wire... Though she managed to hang on through the drop, when she attempted to dismount, she lost her balance and tumbled backwards into the water!

FAIL

"Lady Vert! Are you all right?" cried Peach, as she offered her hand, Vert accepting it as she swept her wet hair from her face, her ponytail having come undone in the splashdown.

"Well, I don't think I'll be doing that again..." The CPU sighed as she was pulled out of the water, a few denizens offering her towels. Accepting one, she dried off her face and hair as she and Peashy rejoined their group.

"Peashy..." A-Mac began, looking uncertain.

"Yes, A-Mac, it's true," Peach cut him off. "My father and your father... are one and the same person."

"No way..." the young man shook his head. "You're my sister... and I had no idea..."

"It stands to reason, you don't really look much alike," Vert pointed out as she finished toweling off. "Of course, it also explains why you get along so well..."

"I'm kinda conflicted," sighed Nisa. "On the one hand, my sense of justice screams at how Steve DeRommer wronged your mother, Peach... but then my heart says that if he hadn't done that, my boyfriend would never have been born..."

"And I never would have met Peach, either," Adrian added.

"Lady Vert," Lisa spoke up, "about your earlier offer to stay at the Basilicom... I'm going to take you up on that... preferably as soon as possible."

"I'm sorry about this, Mom," Peach apologized. "I never thought something like this would happen..."

"I don't blame you, Peach," Lisa shook her head. "It's not your fault... for now, I'll just say, good luck with the rest of the competition."

"I bid you good luck as well," said Vert as she transformed to HDD. Lifting Lisa in her arms, she began to rise into the air... "Farewell for now, citizens of Leanbox! And I pray that no-one gets injured at this event!"

"We hope the same, Lady Vert!" Kratt called to her. "And thank you for gracing us with your presence today!" Green Heart nodded at this, before flying off with Peach's mother in tow, the audience cheering for their goddess as she left...

"Number 118!" the referee called.

"Oy, that's you, comrade!" Sergei said to Adrian. "If I can beat this course, so can you!"

"Sure," Adrian nodded. "Hang in there, OK Peach?"

"I'll be fine," Peashy reassured him. "Go get 'em!" The soldier nodded, before heading off to take his place at the starting line.

"Look," said Laura, "how about we all save this discussion for tomorrow, when we're all fresh? We should just focus on the competition for now..."

"OK, Mom," A-Mac nodded.

"Fine by me," Peach assented, before turning to watch Adrian's run.

*A short time later...*

"Look at him go up that Warped Wall! No hesitation!" exclaimed Kratt, as Adrian hit the buzzer, signifying his completion of the qualifying course. "Adrian Harold Johns has our fastest time of the night! What a performance! Sharon is with him right now!"

"Nice work!" the NPC female said to Adrian. "You know you're our fastest finisher tonight?"

"Really?" the soldier gasped, "I was just trying to be efficient, so I don't waste my energy for the finals..."

"I can't believe you beat me!" cried Sergei as he walked up. "But we'll see who beats who in the finals, hey?"

"You're on," Adrian accepted.

"Sounds like quite the rivalry between you two," Sharon observed.

"Ah, it's all in good fun," Adrian chuckled.

"Well, we'll see you in the finals," the NPC nodded. "Back to you, Kratt and Norman!"

"And with that," said Norman, "we have our top 30 finishers from the qualifying course!"

"And now come the finals," said Wiseman, "Where we cut the remaining 30 in half for a chance to compete in the national finals on Mt. Nepdoriyama! Our qualifying finishers will have to face even more challenging obstacles or their quest for Total Victory! Next time, on Leanbox Ninja Warrior!"

*To be continued...*