The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 36

by Derald Snyder

*One hour later...*

The group had adjourned to another room with the door shut in order to muffle Laura's screams and Iris Heart's laughter, and now were taking turns playing games on Leanbox's latest console.

"You cheated!" iPad accused.

"I did no such thing," iPhone rolled her eyes. "In order to cheat, I would have had to use cheat codes or take advantage of a glitch, neither of which I did, so there!" She stuck her tongue out.

"All right, that's enough, you two," Vert spoke up. "I think it might be time for Peach to have a turn..."

"Fine by me," iPad said as she flipped her controller onto the floor. Just then, the door opened, a badly bruised Laura DeRommer being hurled through and landing in front of the gathered girls.

"Mommy!" iPhone cried in distress. "What did that Plutia do to you?!"

"I'M SORRY, I'M SO VERY SORRY..." Laura muttered in a trance, her eyes shrunk to circles. "I COMMITTED ADULTERY... I BROKE PEASHY'S HEART... I'M SO VERY SORRY FOR MY INFIDELITY..."

"That's a good girl," Iris Heart smirked as she walked into the room. "Admitting your transgressions is the first step to amending your wicked ways, after all..."

"Ahhhhh!" iPhone tried to hide herself under a pillow. "Save me, Lady Vert! I don't wanna be punished!"

"Yeah, I think you've caused enough damage for one day, Ploot," Peach stated as she stood up, looking the dominatrix in the eye as she tried not to show any fear.

"I COMMITTED INFIDELITY... I COMMITTED ADULTERY... I'M SO SORRY... SO VERY SORRY..." Laura continued to chant robotically.

"Dear Goddess..." Lisa looked on the afflicted woman with shock and dismay. "Per... perhaps you were right after all, Peach..."

"Yeah, NOW you see why Chika and I were so freaked out," Peashy deadpanned.

"Yes, where is Chika, anyway?" Iris Heart inquired as she looked the group over.

"She's locked herself in her room," Vert replied, "And she probably won't come back out until you leave..."

"For good reason," Peashy added. "Given what you almost did to her last time..."

"Wow, Lady Plutia," iPad said as she looked over her mother, "I've never seen Mom act like this before... you're my idol."

"Are you crazy, iPad?!" iPhone yelled from under the pillow. "What if she does the same thing to you?!"

"Oh no," Iris shook her head, "I only punish fully-grown adults... After all, unlike children, they should know better..." She bent down to make eye-contact with the blue-haired teenager. "What was your name, again?"

"M-my name is iPad, Lady Plutia," the girl blushed as the HDD CPU's bending over gave her a very good view of her assets. "I-I hope I can be as sexy as you when I grow up..."

"Isn't that sweet," Iris Heart chuckled as she playfully ruffled iPad's hair. "Just remember to drink your milk, OK?"

"OK!" iPad nodded vigorously.

"It's official, my older sister has lost her mind," iPhone muttered.

"...Now then, back to business," Plutia stated as she straightened up. "It takes two people to commit adultery, after all, so there's one more person that needs punishing..."

"You mean Steve, obviously," Lisa stated.

"N-now wait just a minute, Plutia!" Peashy waved her hands. "C-can't we talk this over, like we did with Neptuna?"

"Yes, let's try and be reasonable, here," Vert agreed, standing up.

"Come now, Peashy... aren't you upset at your father for abandoning you all those years ago?" Iris pointed out.

"Of course I am!" Peach shot back. "But at the end of the day, he's still my Dad... 'blood is thicker than water,' you know?"

"Actually..." Lisa interjected as she walked up, "I might have an idea... on how to make Steve see the error of his ways, without doing what you did to her," she indicated the still-babbling Laura. "Although, it'll require you going back to your normal form..."

The dominatrix CPU raised an eyebrow curiously. "I'm listening..."

*That night...*

Steve DeRommer pondered the day's events as he brushed his teeth. (To think, Arthur's training partner was Peach all along...) The news had thrown him for a loop, to be sure... though he couldn't help but feel some pride for his estranged daughter upon realizing what she had accomplished... Rising to the rank of Staff Sergeant in the Leanbox Army, getting Lady Vert's attention and becoming her personal bodyguard as a result...

Unfortunately, the subsequent meeting with Laura and their daughters hadn't gone so well, according to the call he'd gotten from Lady Vert... not only was Lisa still holding a grudge after all this time, one of Peach's friends had unexpectedly dropped in, jumped to the wrong conclusion and gave Laura a savage beating, requiring to spend time in the hospital, though her life was not in danger. Thankfully, the kids had been unharmed, and were staying the night with Vert at the Basilicom while their mother recovered. Arthur hadn't been too happy with the news, but he'd doubted it was one of Peach's fellow competitors from the Ninja Warrior competition.

(Doesn't mean it wasn't another of Peashy's Army comrades...) Steve mused as he made his way to the bed. He'd been looking forward to sharing the bed with his wife for the first time in a few weeks... Hopefully she'd get better soon. Heaving a sigh, he intoned, "Lights out," which they promptly did as he got into to bed, though sleep was a while coming...

"Mr. DeRommer..."

Steve lifted his head up, seeing something glowing at the end of his bed. "iPhone, is this another one of your pra-" Then he remembered, iPhone wasn't even home!

"Mr. DeRommer... you're a bad man..." the voice called out again. Retrieving his glasses, Steve sat up as he slipped them on-

-only to recoil at the sight he saw, a face he hadn't seen in almost two decades... "P... Pl... P-P-P-Plutia...?!"

Indeed it was Plutia, enveloped in a white, ethereal glow. Her expression was a cross between disappointed and upset as she glared at Steve... "You're a horrible daddy, Mr. DeRommer... you ran away from Peashy... right after I died... how could you..."

"Wh-wh-wh-" the man stammered in shock. "P-Plutia! I... I was messed up in the head! I didn't know what I was doing...!"

"That's a bad excuse," the ghost retorted. "Peashy needed you more than ever after I left her... and you failed her..."

"I-I tried to get back in touch with her...!" Steve argued frantically. "But Lisa-!"

"That's enough of your excuses~" Plutia cut him off. "I'm getting angry..." Suddenly, she was engulfed in a pillar of light, which faded to reveal a purple-haired dominatrix with red power-symbol eyes!

"WH-WHAT THE-?!"

"You've been a bad boy, Steve..." the transformed Plutia chuckled as she pulled out a whip. "So you need to be spanked!" she cracked the whip as began to laugh evilly...

"AAAAAAAAAUUUUGGGGHHH!" The middle aged man screamed as he jumped out of the bed in panic, running for his life! Down the stairs he went, running for the double doors to outside... but when he tried to shove his way out, they refused to budge!

"Unlock the doors!" he commanded, only for his face to pale as he heard the words "Command not recognized." He then screamed as whip leather bit into his back, before said whip snapped around his leg, causing him to fall to the ground. Turning onto his back, he saw the dominatrix Plutia with a sadistic smile on her face.

"You can't escape, Mr. DeRommer..." the CPU taunted. "Now accept your punishment~" She began to pull him in closer.

The man screamed again in fear, before starting to babble, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I was wrong! I messed up! I shouldn't have run out on them! Please Plutia, I'm begging you, mercy! Please!"

A woman's laughter echoed through the house... but it wasn't Plutia's. At that moment, a door opened, Lisa stumbling out as she howled with laughter. "Ah-hahahahahahaha! I-I'm sorry, I couldn't keep it in any longer! Oh Steve, the look on your face...!" She doubled over again in laughter.

"L... Lisa?!" Steve gasped in surprise.

"Smile, Dad," the double doors opened, Peach herself walking in, holding her MyPhone in one hand. "You're on candid camera!"

"P-Peashy?!" her father gasped he looked up at her. (Since when did she get a bust that big?!)

And then iPad and iPhone jumped into view as the lights came on. "APRIL FOOLS!" Then they started laughing as well.

And then it dawned on Steve that he'd been played. "Aw, son of a...!" he groaned as his head fell back on the floor.

"Are you sure you don't want me to spank him?" Iris Heart inquired.

"I think you've gotten the point across, Ploot," Peach replied, as she grabbed the whip and snapped it in two, freeing her father before hauling him to his feet with one hand. "Just so we're clear, Dad, this was Mom's idea, not mine..."

Steve could only stare at his daughter, who now stood taller than himself, if only barely. "Geez, you got big... in more ways than one."

"I know, right?" Peach deadpanned. "Though I could've done without the D-cups... Mom, will you stop laughing already?!"

Iria Heart turned toward's Peach's still-guffawing mother, materializing another whip and striking her with it with a *WA-CRACK!* "Miss Lisa, that will be quite enough."

"Hee hee hee..." Lisa continued to chuckle as she rubbed her shoulder. "S-sorry, Plutia, I just... Hee hee hee hahahahaha-" *WA-CRACK!* "OW! OK, OK, I'll stop, I'll stop!"

"Better," Iris nodded curtly.

"By the way," Steve spoke up as something occurred to him, "Where's Arthur?"

"Mmmmmmph!" A muffled voice cried out, Steve turning and seeing his son gagged with a cloth rag and wrapped up in duct tape, slowly inching his way toward the group.

"Me and Lady Plutia tied him up!" iPad declared with a smile. "That was a lot of fun..."

"Yes, it was," Plutia agreed, looking upon the restrained boy with amusement.

"LADY Plutia?!" Steve asked in utter confusion.

"OK, look," Peashy sighed, "How about we untie A-Mac, then we'll go the kitchen so we can explain everything..."

*A few minutes later, in the kitchen...*

"So, do you understand now, Dad?" Peach asked, having finished her summation.

"Yeah," Steve nodded. "This Plutia sitting here isn't *our* Plutia, but one from an alternate universe where she's a CPU. That about right?" He looked warily over at the now-detransformed Plutia, who still had a frown on her face.

"Something like that," Lisa agreed. "Though I'm still having a hard time equating cute little Plutia with her HDD form..."

"You're not alone, Mom..." Peashy sighed.

"She's so cool, though," iPad gushed, sitting next to her new idol. "She reduced Mom to a babbling mess..."

"And put her in the hospital," iPhone spat.

"What?! Wait, that was you?!" Steve said in surprise.

"That's right," the CPU nodded. "You committed adultery when you got married to her after running out on Peashy's Mommy... that wasn't very nice."

Peach's father sighed. "You do realize, that was years after I gave up on trying to get back in contact... As far as I was concerned, that relationship was over and done with. And I was kinda wary about trying again..."

The kitchen went silent for a few moments at this... looking over her father, Peach had trouble believing how much he'd aged... His once full head of hair was now almost completely bald, his mustache had greyed considerably, and his physique wasn't quite as muscular as she remembered... though his glasses were modern, not old-fashioned, they still made him look even older in her eyes.

"Y'know, I finally remembered where I heard your name before, Peach," A-Mac broke the silence. "Dad actually mentioned you in passing when he told me how he'd screwed up his last marriage with drugs, as a lesson to me not to make the same mistake... I think he was worried about me using steroids to get ahead, since I never seemed to be able to win a footrace..."

"Pretty much..." Steve nodded in agreement, before turning to look at his ex-wife. "Look, Lisa, I know you still hate my guts, and that no amount of 'I'm sorry' will ever make up for that... But can you at least acknowledge that I'm well aware of how I f- *ahem* I mucked up?"

The elder blonde gave him a hard stare. "...Well, at least you used your screw-up to teach your other children not to make the same mistake, so I'll give you that. And I have no problem agreeing that you were at fault. But don't expect me to come visit you again anytime soon..." She looked over at Peashy. "Of course, Peach is a full-grown adult now, so I can't speak for her..."

"Well, yeah, of course I'm gonna wanna spend some time with my new family," Peach stated. "Still wanna train with A-Mac in case I get a wildcard for Ninja Warrior, at least... But it's not like I'm gonna forget Mom or leave her behind, either. After all, I'm still sending her money from my paycheck to support her..."

"Yeah, about that... just how exactly did you get Lady Vert's attention anyway? I'd like to hear the story behind that..." Steve inquired.

"Oh, well... it's kinda-sorta related to the whole alternate-universe thing..." Peashy began. "But it really started when my boyfriend Adrian got unfairly arrested and court-martialed..."

"Or you could just read 'The Dead Thief's Turnabout' online..." Lisa muttered.

"Auuuuggghh!" Peach clutched her head. "You had to do it! You just HAD to go and break the fourth wall! My own mother, of all people! How could you do this to me?!"

And everyone broke into laughter, even Plutia...

*Episode 36- End*