Rei Ryghts: Ace Attorney
The Dead Thief's Turnabout
By Derald Snyder
Bonus Chapter: Seeing Double
August 21, 10:33 AM
Leanbox Basilicom
(Life is strange sometimes,) Peach mused to herself as she polished her armor, once again dressed in her yellow-and black hoodie with black shorts. Just a few days ago, everything seemed to be falling apart... Adrian arrested on false charges, herself being discovered and kicked out of the army, the higher-ups seemingly poised to let the army degenerate back into utter incompetence... But now, she had a new job as Lady Vert's bodyguard, Adrian had been cleared of all charges, the true culprit had pled guilty and was now behind bars, and Vert herself had apparently browbeat the commander-in-chief into giving Adrian a medal of commendation for his efforts, as well as promoting him to Petty Officer First Class. She smiled as she remembered Adrian's unit cheering for him...
Her reminiscing was cut short, however, by a 100-decibel airhorn blast that echoed through the entire Basilicom. Peach promptly stood and headed for a source of the noise, a miffed expression on her face...
Sure enough, as she approached Vert's room, she saw the goddess herself rubbing her temples, Rei Ryghts right behind her as she put her airhorn away.
"How many times are you going to wake me up like this?!" the busty CPU protested.
"You said we were having visitors today! Excuse me for wanting to make sure you had time to freshen up!" Rei retorted. "Perhaps if you didn't spend all night playing your silly MMOs..."
"There's nothing silly about them!" Vert sighed. "MMORPGs are serious business, and require a serious effort! But, I guess that's a bit hard for casual gamers like yourself to understand..."
"With all due respect, Lady Vert..." Peach decided to cut in. "Perhaps the reason we're casual gamers is because our day jobs take up most of our time! I mean, I can't imagine the amount of paperwork Rei here has to go through, being a lawyer and all..."
"Don't I know it," the former goddess sighed. "When I was first hired, it seemed my job was nothing *but* paperwork... Still is, for the most part... and don't get me started on cleaning the toilet..." Before Peach could ask what she meant by that, a doorbell sounded.
"What?! They're here already?!" Vert cried in shock, her eyes shrunk to white circles.
"Told you so," Rei muttered, causing the CPU to groan in exasperation.
"Peach, would you be a dear and get the door while I get ready?" Vert ordered as she retreated to her bathroom.
"Of course, Lady Vert," Peach nodded, heading downstairs...
When Peach got to the door, however, she was shocked to find none other than Vert herself upon opening up. "Wha-?!" she gasped, her eyes shrunk to white circles.
"And... who might you be?" The other Vert asked, who was dressed differently than before.
"Make way for Pea!" a tiny voice cried out, followed by Peach getting tackled- hard- in the stomach, sending her to the floor reeling. "Hey, wait, you're not the other Bert!"
"Peashy!" the other Vert admonished. "What have I told you about doing that?"
"Huh...?" Peach picked her head up... and was immediately confronted with her five-year-old self, who looked at her curiously as she sat on her stomach. "Y... you..."
"Ummm..." Peashy stuck a finger in her mouth. "Do I know you? You kinda look like me..."
The other Vert's eyes went wide as recognition registered. "My word... are you... the Peashy from this dimension?!"
"Huh...? OH!" Peach gasped as her train of thought re-railed itself. "Y-yes, that's me... Peashy, get off, please." The younger girl obeyed, allowing Peach to stand straight. "M-my name is Peach C. Macintosh, ma'am... former Staff Sergeant in the Leanbox Army..." She bowed briefly. "A pleasure to meet you, alternate universe-Vert..."
"You know her, Bert?" little Peashy asked confusedly.
The Ultradimension CPU turned back to her charge. "Peashy, you know how there are two of me, two of Noire, and two of Blanc? Well, it seems there's two of you as well... this Peashy is just all grown up, that's all..."
Peashy's eyes went wide as she looked up at the other her. "Really? You're ME?"
"Th-that's right, little Peashy," Peach affirmed as she bent down and ruffled her other self's hair. "You can call me big sister, if you want..."
"I can? Really?! YAY!" cried Peashy as she tackled the other blonde to the ground again. "I have a big sister!"
"PEASHY! What did I just tell you?!" the other Vert admonished.
"I-it's OK, Lady Vert. I was ready for her this time," said Peach as she quickly sat up, with little Peashy in her lap. "I used to do that with Mom and Dad all the time, when I was little..."
"Well, it seems everyone's getting along well," Vert's voice echoed from the stairwell. The other Vert looked over and saw her counterpart, with Rei hiding behind her.
"Well, I have to admit, I wasn't expecting to come face-to-face with a grown-up Peashy," the other Vert muttered. "But what is *she* doing here?" she indicated Rei.
"I-I'm not a th-threat anymore!" The lawyer said as she stepped out from behind Vert, her arms raised in a defensive gesture. "I p-promise!"
"That's not what I was concerned about..." sighed the other Vert. Just then, another voice spoke up from outside...
"Vert, why d-did you have t-to make *me* c-carry th-the luggage?!" Hearing that voice caused Rei's eyes to widen as her pupils shrank to near pinpricks. No. No. This wasn't happening. Surely it was just someone with a very similar voice. Surely it couldn't be-
Her hopes to the contrary were dashed, as Rei herself came through the door, dragging two heavy suitcases. "Y-you're not g-going to m-make me c-carry these u-up the... stairs..." the other Rei trailed off upon locking eyes with herself, dropping her suitcases, as Peach looked back and forth between the two in surprise and shock.
"Y-you..." was all Rei could get out.
"Oh dear," sighed the other Vert. "Well, this is awkward..."
"Why did you bring her here?" Vert asked in disbelief.
"Peashy insisted," the other Vert explained. "She was like, 'If Mommy's not coming with us, I'm not going!' You know I could never say no to her... So why is your Rei here?"
"It was supposed to be a vacation for her..." Vert sighed, as she regarded the two Reis...
"Um.. h-hello there," the other Rei offered weakly. "Y-you look like y-you're doing well..." She then spied her counterpart's attorney's badge. "I-I see you're a l-lawyer n-now..."
Rei said nothing as she walked to her other self until they were only inches apart. Her expression seemed to be a mix of disbelief and disapproval...
"Um... a-are you s-still mad at m-me for wh-what happened?" the other Rei inquired.
"Am I still mad?" Rei abruptly spoke, as she closed her eyes. "Hmmm, let me think on that for a moment..."
*CRACK!*
The blow was so fast that nobody saw it, though the aftermath was apparent, as the other Rei's glasses went flying off her face, the former Tari CPU falling to the ground, putting a hand up to a rapidly-reddening welt on her cheek.
"Does *that* answer your question, bi- blithering idiot?!" Rei quickly caught herself as she glanced over at little Peashy. (Mustn't swear in front of children...)
"Ow-oww! I'm sorry! I'm so, so very sorry!" The other Rei apologized profusely. "I swear, I never meant for that to happen to you! I-I was only t-trying to help y-you b-become more c-confident and a-assertive!"
"You damn near ruined my life!" Rei retorted as she stood over the other her. "Do you have *any* idea how long it took me to repair my reputation in Lowee, after I was exiled there?! And I'm still a pariah in all the other nations! I can't even leave the Basilicom here without escort, so I don't cause a panic!" Her fists were clenching at her sides, as if considering whether to hit her other self again... But just then, someone intervened, not either Vert, but-
"Stop it, Mommy!" cried five-year-old Peashy as she put herself between the two, her arms spread out. "Don't hit Mommy anymore! That's not nice!"
"Wh-" Rei blinked in surprise. "Why are you calling *me* Mommy? I hardly even know you...!"
"It don't matter! Mommy is still Mommy!" Peashy asserted. "And mommies don't fight!"
Seeing the small girl trying to defend the other Rei, putting on a brave face, though her eyes looked on the verge of tears, caused the boiling cauldron of anger within Rei to reduce to a simmer. "...Fine. I suppose I've gotten my point across." Turning on her heel, she walked back towards the stairs... "If you need me, Lady Vert, I'll be in my guest room playing Deathly Instinct." With that, she marched up the stairs, the sound of a door slamming being heard shortly thereafter.
"...Well, I suppose that could have gone worse," Vert sighed.
"Indeed," the other Vert agreed, as she handed the other Rei's glasses back to her.
"Are you OK, Mommy?" asked Peashy worryingly.
"Yes, Peashy, Mommy's fine," the other Rei reassured her 'daughter' as she put her glasses back on, still nursing her cheek. "J-just a little sore, th-that's all..."
"Hey, little Peashy?" Peach spoke up. "How about we go outside and play for a little bit, let the adults talk this over?"
"Can I, Mommy?" Peashy asked politely.
"Of course, Peashy," the other Rei nodded. "Go on and have fun, OK?"
"OK!" Peashy agreed, before slapping Peach in the leg. "Tag, you're it!" She yelled before running outside...
"Wha- Hey, no fair!" The older blonde protested as she chased her 'sister' out the door.
"So much for you being the 'older sister'," Vert couldn't help but tease her counterpart.
"Well, I can't exactly compete with Peashy herself, now can I?" the other Vert heaved a sigh. "But putting that aside... Perhaps I could try talking with your Rei? After all, I was a direct witness to everything that happened with the Seven Sages and all... maybe *I* can convince her to put aside her hatred..."
"You're more than welcome to try," Vert nodded.
"W-what about m-me?" the other Rei inquired.
"Well, perhaps you and I could play a game together on my PC," Vert suggested. "Though, I only have one controller, so you'll have to use the keyboard..."
"F-fine by me," the other Rei assented. "B-back in my d-day, keyboards were all we had t-to use a-anyway..."
August 21
Leanbox Basilicom
Chika's Old Room
Rei was busy beating the crap out of her AI opponent when there was a knock at the door. "Who is it?!" she growled angrily.
"Vert from the Ultradimension," came the answer.
"...Are you by yourself?"
"I am. I promise."
The lawyer sighed as she paused her game, before getting up and unlocking the door, allowing the other Vert to enter, before quickly closing and re-locking it.
"So this is a fighting game?" the alternate Leanbox CPU observed. "Would you mind if I joined as player 2?"
"Other controller's in the cabinet," Rei pointed out. The other Vert nodded as she retrieved said controller and hooked up. "I hope you're not going to try and convince me to forgive my other self..."
The busty blonde sighed. "Listen, Rei... I was there when the fracas with the other Rei hit its climax, so I can understand where you're coming from, somewhat. No woman deserves what happened to you. At the very least, you should be glad you came out of that incident relatively unscathed..."
"Emphasis on 'relatively'," the former goddess retorted. "So are you going to play or not?"
The other Vert promptly sat on the bed next to Rei as she switched to Versus mode. "So, you're playing as a werewolf?"
"Better to tear people apart savagely in the *virtual* sense than literally," Rei explained.
"I see," the other Vert nodded. "I suppose I'll choose this one, then..." She selected a busty brunette wielding a staff.
"Stick with what you know, huh?" Rei muttered as she selected a stage.
A few minutes later...
"No no no! How are you doing so much damage?!" the other Vert protested as she frantically hit buttons.
"Try using some of your super meter," Rei muttered.
"'Super meter'? I don't even know what that is!" the alternate CPU protested. "Stop hitting me! My life meter's already gone!"
UUULTRAAAA COMBOOOOOO! SUPREME VICTORY!
"Get good, scrub," Rei chuckled sinisterly as she pushed her glasses back up on her face.
"Ooooooooh!" the other Vert growled, a vein pulsing on her forehead. "That was completely unfair! I jumped in blind! You should have gone easy on me! I demand a rematch!"
"Your funeral," Rei shrugged as she restarted the game. (Feels good to win against Vert for once... even if she's not my world's Vert...)
August 21
Leanbox Basilicom
Vert's Room
"S-so what are we g-going to play?" the other Rei asked nervously.
"A real-time military strategy game," Vert replied as she booted the PC up. "Peach- that's the older Peashy- and I were having some good fun with this last night."
"Y-you don't say..." the former Tari CPU muttered as she sat in the chair next to Vert, shifting the keyboard in front of her as Vert picked up her controller. "A-at least my Peashy and yours are g-getting along w-well..."
"OH MY GOD, THEY'RE HUUUUUGE!" Peach's voice echoed from outside.
"...Sounds like little Peashy just showed her 'sister' her HDD form," Vert observed.
"Y-you should have seen h-how y-your other s-self reacted," the other Rei chuckled lightly.
"I can imagine," the busty goddess rolled her eyes as she started the game...
Some time later, the two virtual armies were locked in what seemed to be a stalemate.
"You're better at this than I thought," muttered Vert as she clicked away at her controller.
"You do realize I've been at this since before any of you were born," the other Rei pointed out.
WARNING! P1 BASE TAKING HEAVY DAMAGE!
"What?!" Vert cried in shock. "But how?!"
"Clearly you didn't notice the small unit I broke off to flank you!" the other Rei smirked sinisterly.
"No, no, no! Fortify the base defenses!" the CPU cried as she button-mashed.
"Too little, too late, fool!" the bluenette crowed triumphantly.
KA-BOOM!
P1 BASE DESTROYED! P2 WINS!
Vert's jaw dropped, as did her controller, which noisily clattered to the floor. "I... I... I lost? Me?"
"You came 1,000 years too soon," the other Rei taunted.
August 21
Leanbox Basilicom
Hallway
The other Vert seemed to be in a daze as she walked out of the guest room. "I cannot believe this... Even after studying the game mechanics, I still can't win...!" She then saw her counterpart walking out of her bedroom, their eyes locking, their identical expressions telling them everything they needed to know...
"You lost too?!" the two Verts exclaimed simultaneously.
"You mean you couldn't even beat my younger self?" said Ultradimension Rei as she walked out from Vert's room. "What a joke!"
"Well, I guess I can be grateful to my other self for one thing," muttered Hyperdimension Rei. "Thanks for taking my Vert down a few pegs."
"Please," chuckled the other Rei. "These two are both scrubs compared to us!"
"We're *both* scrubs?!" cried the two Verts as they looked at each other. There was only one way to respond to that...
"OBJECTION!"
~*Fin*~