Eighteen Kisses.

Author: Invader Johnny.

Disclaimer: Victorious belongs to Nickelodeon; I own nothing but this very unexpected idea.

Synopsis: It's Jade's birthday and Tori is giving her the type of gift only her dork of a girlfriend could come up with.

Author Notes: Well as we all know today is Liz Gillies birthday and after some brainstorming I came up with a Jori story because… Of course that had to happen, so as always my dear readers do read and joy.

Ring… Ring… Ring…

Jade angrily opened one veiny red eye as her phone went off, she had half a mind to grab the damn device and throw it out the window so she could get a few more hours of sleep, especially since she didn't set an alarm for today.

"I don't know how you did it Vega, but I know this is your doing." Jade thought tiredly, her suspicions very proven because the moment she silenced the alarm she received a video call from the Latina. "Speak of the devil."

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY JADE!"

The Thespian groaned as well as rolled her eyes in disdain before giving her girlfriend the scariest glare she could muster but that only made Tori giggle. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

"Not before sunrise, Vega." Jade sneered "Couldn't you call me at a time where I'm not tempted to kill you?"

"Aw come on baby, don't be like that!" Tori teased "Aren't you excited baby?! Today you're eighteen!"

"18… 19… 20… Whatever, Vega." Jade shrugged "It's just a reminder that I came out of my mom screaming and bloody nearly two decades ago and every year that follows I'm ever so closer to death."

"For the last time Jade, I don't talk like that!" Tori said aggravated "And I know this is like asking you to stop breathing but maybe you should keep those morbid thoughts out of your mind and just focus on the fact that today is when you were born, it's a big deal!"

"Meh."

"NO! Don't "Meh" me!" Tori snapped "It's your birthday Jade! And it may not mean much to you but it means the world to me!"

"Why?" Jade shot back. "I'm just getting older, it's not like I'm the Queen of England or something."

"I'm glad you're NOT the Queen of England, if you were then you wouldn't be a part of my life." Tori replied. "Just think about it Jade, if it wasn't for the luck of the dice, there is the slight possibility you wouldn't be here!"

"That's some deep ass existentialism you came up with Vega."

"Doesn't make it any less true… So from the bottom of my heart Jade… Your parents may not be the best if they did one thing right is bringing you into the world… And towards my waiting arms … So I'm glad you were born."

"Vega, that was had to be the corniest and longest way you ever said that you love me." Jade said. "But then again, I shouldn't be surprise given you're the biggest dork on the planet."

"HEY!"

"… I love you too."

Jade soon was sent several kiss emojis from the Latina, the Thespian even counted them. "Eighteen… Only you, Tori."

"Virtual kisses? Really Vega?"

"You want the real thing? Well? Do you? Tori taunted. "You know where I live, come and get them! My lips are waiting."

"Hey, it's my birthday, shouldn't you be coming to my house and give me some kisses?"

"True… But I haven't gotten my license yet." Tori admitted reluctantly. "And I'm NOT about to ask Trina to give me a ride to your house at this ungodly hour."

"One of these days Vega, you're going to have to learn to drive."

"Until then, I'm going to have to rely on you to drive me places, baby."

"When the Hell did I become Alfred?"

"Are you calling me Batgirl?"

"My God, Vega." Alfred is Batman's butler NOT Batgirl's." Jade groaned "If you're going to make a comic book reference, at least get your facts straight."

"As if there's anything straight about us." Tori teased, wiggling her eyebrows playfully. "Huh? Huh?"

"How long have you been waiting to say that?"

"Since we started dating, baby." Tori sheepishly admitted. "Come on Jade, I just had to take the opportunity, you walked right into that one after all."

"That was my mistake for dating the dorkiest girl in school."

"HEY!"

"You are pretty dorky, Tori." Trina said from the other side of the wall. "And for Pete's sake, can't you wait till the Sun is up to start talking to your scary girlfriend?"

"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS TRINA!" Jade and Tori bellowed at the same time.

"Geez… Touchy."

"Your sister sucks, Tor."

"Big time."

"HEY!"

"Well since Trina pretty much killed the moment Jade, I guess I'll see you later?"

"See you at noon Vega." Jade yawned. "I have no idea what you're going to give me but I have doubt it will be something sickly romantic."

"You'll have to wait and see." Tori said. "But here's a hint… You already have a clue."

"That's not a hint Vega." The Thespian growled. "You deliberately said that because you know I'll stay up trying to decipher what the fuck you really mean!"

"Maybe… Maybe not." The Latina grinned before giving her a loving kiss. "I'm not much of a dork now am I?"

"You're still a massive dork, Vega." Jade snarled. "And you just made the list now!"

"Aw... Again!" Tori complained. "I just got off the list!"

Hours later Jade was just parking her car in front of the Vega household, after some time she did managed to get back to sleep but not before cursing her girlfriend as many ways possible for being deprived from a good night's rest.

"Its moments like these I wish I hadn't thrown out my Vega Voodoo Doll."

Jade opened the front door without a second though, she did have a duplicate after all and she wasn't about to wait for her girlfriend to open the door, after all she didn't have the patience for that right now.

But much to her surprise, Tori was a step ahead of her, the moment Jade opened the door, she was but with a noisemaker to her nose and a party hat.

¡FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS JADE!"

"God damn it Vega!" Jade cursed in annoyance taking off the cone hat from her head, "You just wished me a happy birthday a few hours ago!"

"True, but now I'm wishing you a happy birthday in Spanish." She replied with a grin. "Can't say that has happened to you before, huh?"

"I'm seriously regretting asking you to be my girlfriend, Vega." The Thespian hissed. "You didn't make this big of a deal on my birthday last year."

"That's because we weren't dating and you didn't even invite me to your party."

"In retrospect asking Cat to give you the invitation wasn't my best idea." Jade admitted. "But how was I supposed to know she would screw over something so simple? She was meant to walk over to your locker and give you the damn card!"

"And why pray tell didn't you give me the card yourself?"

"Honestly? I was just discovering my feelings for you and didn't know how to handle them." Jade admitted. "So instead of making an ass out of myself and probably say something I knew I would regret, I asked Cat to deliver the card to you… Should have known better to make her do something when Robbie was nearby and wanted to ask her out… She ran the other way Damn it!"

"Good thing I took it as a challenge and invited myself." Tori said fondly. "I was so sure it was a bad idea and you were going to kill me."

"I almost did remember?" Jade smirked. "Seriously Vega, you did know how to make an entrance, not everyone can say they made an ass print on a birthday cake."

"I said I was sorry and I did buy you a new cake!" Tori whined. "Granted, it was a small one just for you."

"A small one I ended up sharing with you."

"You didn't have to; I sort of ruined your birthday last year."

"Hardly." The Thespian chuckled. "Your ass covered in cake is something I'll never be able to forget."

"JADE!"

"Any chance of that happening again, this year?"

"NO!"

"Then enough remembering last year's birthday." The pale Goth said. "I rather go through this year's celebration, so tell me Vega… What are you hiding under your sleeves?"

"You didn't figure out the clue I left you?" Tori asked, "You, the great Jade West?"

"Oh bite me Vega." She grunted. "I was sleep deprived so my mind wasn't so sharp, so enough with the secret, I'm here, it's my birthday, so GIMME!"

"My, aren't you eager?" Tori laughed. "But this will amuse you; you see all those emoji kisses I sent you early this morning? They're eighteen in total."

"Yeah… So?"

"So today you'll be getting eighteen kisses from me." Tori said, a twinkle in her eyes she really was excited for what was to come.

"Seriously, Vega?" Jade grunted, "THAT wasn't a clue, it was a freaking billboard!"

"Well if you don't want those kisses, I guess I can't give you something else."

"Hey, I never said I didn't like the idea." The Thespian replied. "I just expected something… Else."

"Well close your eyes and don't open them till I tell you to!"

Jade did as she was told and was already getting her lips ready, already savoring Tori's mouth making contact with hers any moment now.

Several moments however, Tori didn't start the kiss-fest and Jade was getting impatient. "What's taking her so long?"

"Surprise Jade!" The Latina cheered. "You can open your eyes now!"

The Thespian did so and was not happy by what was right in front of her, as it turns out when her girlfriend said she was going to give her kisses, she wasn't talking literally because right in the middle of the living room table was a chocolate cake and around it there were eighteen kisses chocolates

"You like it baby?"

"Vega… What the hell?!" Jade snarled "When you said you were giving me kisses, I assumed you were going to give me a treat! Not… this cruel, cruel joke!"

To her annoyance, Tori never stopped smiling, in actuality it looked as if she was trying to hold in the laugher as Jade could see that her girlfriend was biting her lower lip but that lasted a few seconds and exploded with laughter.

"Oh Jade, you should have seen your face!" Tori said between giggles. "It was priceless!"

"Vega… What the Hell have you been smoking?" Jade asked. "You're not making any sense!"

"I'm sorry baby…." The Latina said. "I just couldn't resist, I just had to give you chocolate kisses for your birthday! The idea was too good not to do!"

"You're a dork." The Brunette said unimpressed as she crossed her arms. "I don't know how I didn't see this one coming! It had Vega written all over it!"

"Beats me." Tori shrugged. "But guess what? I did promise you a lot of kisses, so I have a proposition for you Jade."

"I'm listening Vega." She grunted. "And it better be good."

"See those eighteen kisses?"

"Yeah… What about them?"

"For each kisses you eat you'll be getting a kiss from me."

"Just to be sure… Real kisses." Jade asked. "Not any of the chocolate kind?"

"Yup!"

"You drive a hard bargain Vega." The pale woman pretended to think. "But… Sure… Why not?"

Each time Jade ate a chocolate kisses, Tori gave her a better more loving kiss.

By the last one, Jade decided to put the small chocolate in the fridge with the explanation that she would want to "save it for later" something Tori found very reasonable.

"Loving your birthday so far Jade?"

"Your kisses are to die for Vega."

Tori smiled, she loved to see Jade happy and carefree, it always bugged her that her parents never even bothered to give her girlfriend even a freaking cake for her birthday so by getting Jade a chocolate cake, she hope it would give Jade a bit of the childhood she never got to experience.

Tori was so invested in her lover's happiness that she didn't see where she was going to sit and unfortunately she realized too little too late that her butt ended up making friends with the chocolate birthday cake.

Jade snickered. "My, my, my, I didn't even make my wish yet and it already became true."

"JADE!"

"If it's any consolation Vega, you're off the list."

"My chocolate butt is so thankful for that."

"Vega, need I remind you that you still owe me a kiss for later?"

"Oh YAY!"

It's very doubtful that Liz Gillies will be reading this, but nevertheless HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIZ!

What can I say about this idea? Nothing other than it came to me right in the middle of lunch today and I had to write it before the day was over, so what do you guys think of this quick plot bunny?

Fun Fact: I originally had in mind that Jade's birthday would take place in the school and Tori forgot and in order to not face an angry girlfriend she tried to give her something meaningful but nothing came to mind and in desperation she thought of something simple, which were eighteen kisses given to Jade randomly but as you can see, the fic went a completely different way.

Anyway as always, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.

Invader Johnny Signing Off.