Kate sat at her desk while one of the members of her church sobbed about her marriage. Unfortunately, this was a pretty typical part of her job. As the associate pastor of a fairly large church, she heard about all the divorces, deaths and serious illnesses. There was plenty of more "typical" work to do as well - paperwork, staff meetings, etc - but moments like this inevitably took precedence. When it came to these conversations about infidelity, there was one point that came up constantly and was being repeated now.
"It's not the physical part that bothers me the most. It's that he's become more emotionally attached to her. He goes to her with his problems and I might as well not exist."
When Rob had first brought home a woman half his age, this was a fear that had gone through her mind. He was no womanizer. Loyalty aside, someone had to have a lot of confidence to pull that off. Despite that old cliche about women being attracted to confidence in men, there was something about his humility that she found endearing from the start...even if he took it too far sometimes. When it became clear Monika would be staying indefinitely, Kate began to worry that she might be replaced as Rob's primary source of love and support. She was aware that he often felt neglected - she worked a lot of hours and their children demanded a lot of attention during the time she was home. Kate felt guilty about that, but on the other hand, part of the reason she was working so hard was for him.
Ever since the traumatic year that led up to the birth of the boys, where they had faced an initial miscarriage, Rob's bitter fight with the newspaper over his paternity leave, and two weeks in the hospital following the slightly premature birth of the twins, he hadn't been the same. He was self-conscious about this because he knew it made him look like he wasn't happy about being a father, which was not the case. It was just that the other struggles had roused the depression and now he was having a tough time getting it to settle back down. It wasn't realistic to expect him to perform well at a full-time job until he was in a better place mentally. This was the kind of thing nobody else wanted to hear - in America, the daily grind of work always took priority over quality of life or really any other problem - but she had seen enough depression in her pastoral work to know it was the truth. Kate had to support the family until he could move on to the next phase of his life. Whenever her elderly boss retired, she had a good chance of being named senior pastor, which would mean even greater stability for the family...but also more time at work.
On the night Andrew had his severe asthma attack, she worried her fears had been realized. She had to sit in the living room recliner, holding Andrew upright enough so that he could rest and breathe easily. Meanwhile, Monika had taken it on herself to comfort Rob and even ended up sleeping right next to him, resting her head on his chest like they had been dating for years. Whatever Rob said to her the next day had straightened her out and she had been much more careful since. In the months afterward, Monika's presence had slowly become comforting. Kate was no longer the only woman in the house and that was nice.
One day she had been filling up the car with gas, standing idly by the pump not thinking about anything in particular, when the truth came to her out of nowhere. This was all about Rob's sister. You could probe a lot of his various anxieties and idiosyncrasies and end up at the same conclusion. She knew he hated that and found it reductive, but how can a child lose someone so close at such a young age and not be profoundly affected for life? Lauren wasn't much younger than Rob, she would be 33 if she was still alive, but that didn't really matter when it came to Monika. It wasn't about trying to find an exact replacement, it was about finding a way to express the sort of love that had been taken from him. In almost every picture she saw of Rob and Lauren together, they were hugging or sitting with their arms over the other's shoulders. Then she was gone and Rob was alone...at least until Alex was born. The brothers were close, but he couldn't replace her. Part of him longed for the closeness they once had, even if he could barely remember it. He hadn't said any of this, he might not have even been aware of it, but Kate knew.
As his wife, this was a role she could never fill. He loved her; resisting the advances of a beautiful young girl when your wife was constantly out of the house was certainly proof of that. Was she really supposed to be the only one in some kind of loving relationship with him? It was a pretty strong cultural message, but did it really make sense? It was a lot of pressure on her if that was really the case. Especially when Kate could see it was working. His mood had improved over time with her around. Monika must have realized this as well, since she had settled into that sisterly role despite it not being what she originally wanted.
The workday came and went. Kate looked at the clock and realized it was time to go home, even though she hadn't finished everything she wanted to get done. She would have to write some emails from home like usual. As she pulled into the driveway, Rob and Monika were sitting on the front steps as the boys were climbing the maple tree in the front yard. Within a few weeks, the leaves of that tree would turn bright red as they prepared to fall.
"Momma!" Upon seeing her, they jumped off one of the tree's low branches. They almost stuck the landing, harmlessly rolling over and quickly getting up. After they got the hugs out of their system, the twins rushed back to the tree and begged Rob to lift them back up into the branches. Watching him do this made Kate suspect that he had actually fully recovered from his injuries, but he loved that cane and it might be hard to separate him from it. While he was busy, Kate took his spot on the front steps next to Monika.
"How have you been?" Kate asked.
"Good, thanks," Monika answered. "Did everything go okay today?"
"I suppose," Kate said. "I didn't finish everything I needed to do, but that's just a regular day. Have you heard much from your friends?"
"A little from Yuri," Monika said. "Sayori only talks to Rob and Natsuki wants nothing to do with me either way."
"Do you think it's still a good idea for them to come? I don't want you to feel unwelcome here. After all, you were here first."
Monika smiled. "A good idea? I don't know. The right thing to do? Yeah. I have to make this happen for them. But what about you? Are you really okay with this? I know it was a big adjustment just having me in the house."
"It makes me nervous, but I'm trying to practice what I preach," Kate admitted. "My church has helped find homes for refugees from places like Syria or Afghanistan. You're a refugee too, in a way. I can't urge people to open their homes and their hearts if I'm not willing to do it myself."
"You should probably meet them first before you decide, right?" Monika asked. "Especially Natsuki. You might change your mind after dealing with her for a while."
Kate laughed. "Oh, she can't be that bad! Believe it or not, I'm most worried about that first credit card bill after they get here. Just getting your clothes cost enough and we'll have to buy three times as much."
"We might not," Monika said. "I've been thinking about this. I came out of the game in my school uniform because that was literally all I had. I didn't even have a casual outfit like the other girls. But since the game ended, Rob has been putting pictures of clothes into the files for Sayori to see. Then she's able to use the power she has to create them. I don't see any reason why they couldn't take those clothes with them the way I took mine. We could take care of all their stuff that way - suitcases, toothbrushes, whatever."
"That's quite a trick."
"Wait!" Monika suddenly got excited. "What if we had Sayori create a lot of money before they come out? Then we would never have to worry about it again!"
"I don't know about that," Kate said. "Dollar bills have a lot of little details and notations that are unique to each one. I wouldn't want them busted for counterfeiting as soon as they arrived."
"Doesn't have to be paper money. What about jewelry? Something we could sell?"
"Monika," Kate said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "They don't have to finance this whole thing. We'll be okay. I like the clothes idea, but let's leave it at that."
"But...I know you guys worry about money...I wanted to help."
"I know you did. How about this? Let's pick a restaurant to take them to when they first get here. Then we can have them make a big gift card and we'll enjoy a nice meal. How does that sound?"
"Okay," she said.
The boys eventually got sick of the tree and rushed towards the front step, wedging themselves between Kate and Monika and running inside the house. It was probably about time for the adults to head inside as well in order to get dinner ready. Kate heard the boys jabbering about how their Uncle Alex would be visiting soon, possibly even the next day. He was in some stage of the 20 hour trip at that moment, although there was no guarantee he and his girlfriend would be up for socializing the next day. After their own visit to New Zealand several years earlier, Rob and Kate had been wiped out by jet lag and ended up sleeping until about 1 in the afternoon on their first day back in Connecticut.
As they dug through cupboards and the refrigerator to figure out dinner, Rob said quietly, "I have a job interview tomorrow."
It was the kind of thing most people would be excited about, but Kate had learned that watching Rob navigate this process was a bit like taking a vacation in Bizarro World. "Oh, that's good!"
"I guess."
"Anything else in the pipeline?"
"Um...I have...like, two more I applied to."
This was no surprise either. Some people went crazy with applications when they were unemployed, sending their information to dozens of employers at once and letting the chips fall where they may. That was never going to happen here. Rob would only be willing to put himself through the demeaning process if he felt confident he stood a chance of being hired. The problem with that was that his chronically low confidence meant that he rarely believed he had any real chance. The biggest hurdle he would face was not a competitive market or scarce opportunities, it was his own brain, which was determined to spare him the painful emotions this whole process dredged up and would go to great lengths to convince him to just give it up.
Kate was amazed he was even trying at all, but he had clearly seen the proverbial writing on the wall when it became more of a possibility that three more people might move into the house. If he had ever felt the boys were in danger of being deprived of their needs, he likely would have done this sooner, but Kate's job had been enough to take care of them all for a few years now. He couldn't bring all of Monika's friends here and still rely on that cushion, but was going to do it anyway. He must have really cared about them.
Rob grabbed the vibrating phone out of his pocket. "My mother." Kate continued preparing dinner, listening to one side of the conversation.
"Hello?"
"What's going on?"
"Well, that sucks. What time are they getting in now?"
"Oh wow."
"Umm...maybe. Let me ask Kate."
He put one hand over the phone's little speaker and turned to her. "Alex's flight got delayed and now they're not getting in until 11:15 tonight. She wants to know if we can pick them up."
"Sure," Kate said. "We'll have either Monika or my parents watch the boys."
While Rob relayed that message to his mother, Kate walked into the living room looking for Monika. She was on the floor with the boys building with Legos. Actually, she was doing more watching than building. Andrew and Lucas tended to be very controlling about their artistic vision.
Kate sat down next to them. "Monika, would you be willing to watch the boys tonight?"
"I suppose. What's going on?"
"Well, apparently Alex's flight has been delayed and now he and Charlotte won't be landing until way after bedtime for his parents. So Rob and I are going to drive to the airport and pick them up."
"Which airport is it?" Monika asked.
"Kennedy airport in New York."
Her face lit up. "Oh, can I go?! I haven't been to New York yet!"
Kate smiled. "Well, it's not quite the same seeing it in the dark but sure. I'll ask my parents to watch the boys."
Her parents were indeed willing to take the boys for a sleepover and a few hours later, the three of them were in the minivan driving through the dark night towards the highway. Kate would handle the drive to the airport and Rob would drive back so that she could snooze.
Interstate 95 wasn't quite as busy this late at night, but there were still plenty of cars. Rob played the role of DJ and relished the chance to play some of the ridiculous metal songs he loved so much, the ones that would go on for 10 or 15 minutes. This was one of the rare occasions where she was grateful for it, since it would be nigh impossible to fall asleep at the wheel with this stuff on.
The highway took them over the state line and as they were crossing the Whitestone Bridge, the skyscrapers of Manhattan came into view. Monika pressed her face against the window and stared in wonder at famous landmarks like the Empire State Building and the Chrysler Building, their dark silhouettes illuminated by thousands of lights from windows and passing cars. They wouldn't be able to get any closer on this trip, but it would be nice to go again sometime during the day. They could take the train from New Haven since actually driving on Manhattan streets was intolerably difficult.
The airport wasn't too far after that and Kate was able to navigate the convoluted process of finding a place to park. The three of them made their way into the terminal and sat down in a few stray chairs. If everything went well, the plane would land in about 20 minutes or so. Kate noticed Monika gazing at the map that was posted on a nearby wall. The place must have felt like a small city to her after spending so much time in suburban Connecticut.
Some time later, Kate looked up from her phone and noticed a crowd of people headed in their direction. The time was about right and she motioned for Rob and Monika to stand up. One recognizable face emerged from the crowd and the brothers were reunited. They hugged, one of those "bro hugs" that ended with a slap on the back, a harmless bit of violence to reassert masculinity that otherwise might have been lost. In the meantime, Kate and Monika introduced themselves to Charlotte.
Seeing Monika in person for the first time made Alex shake his head in disbelief. It was a subtle movement, but Kate still caught it. She knew Rob had told him the truth about her, but Kate wondered if Alex had played Doki Doki Literature Club himself since then. Was there some other version of Monika that was in love with him and dreaming of joining him in New Zealand? It was a strange thought.
Kate had briefly considered playing the game herself. Maybe it was like watching a movie where you knew one of the actors. But Monika hadn't been acting and that was what ultimately convinced Kate not to try it. She didn't like the idea of seeing Monika suffer, even if it wasn't the exact Monika she knew.
"That is some cane," Alex said to Rob. "Do you mind if I look at it?"
"Sure, go ahead."
He held the cane and rotated it in his hands, admiring the craftsmanship Jamie had put into it. One hand rested on the dragon's head at the top end.
"Does this part screw off?"
"Yeah," Rob said. "But don't do that while we're still in the airport or we'll all end up in Guantanamo Bay."
Monika had no idea what he was talking about and Charlotte visibly winced. Rob's dark sense of humor took some getting used to.
By the time they were finished at the baggage claim and on their way back to the car, it was nearly midnight and Kate had grown tired. Late nights like this had grown rare since the birth of the boys. Rob was a little more accustomed to it, since he often used those quiet night hours to watch a movie. He got in the driver's seat and Kate offered the passenger seat to Alex so they could catch up.
"We're all set for next weekend," Rob said as the car started. "I found a place by Lake Winnipesaukee with two bedrooms for rent."
"Awesome," Alex replied. "We're really looking forward to that. Thanks for taking care of it."
The two-night excursion would be the first real fall foliage experience for Charlotte…and also for Monika, although Kate didn't want to draw attention to that since it could invite difficult questions. She would have liked to go too and initially, Rob was planning for everyone to go together, but taking the boys on a trip like that added quite a bit of challenge and Kate felt guilty asking her parents to watch them for that whole time…especially after tonight. Rob needed time with his brother and Monika deserved to see the beauty Kate had grown accustomed to after so many years.
As the highway stretched on into the night and the brothers were chatting about a wide variety of subjects, Kate felt a light pressure on her shoulder. Monika had fallen asleep and was resting her head.
"Who is she, anyway?" Charlotte asked.
Kate spoke carefully. "She's a friend. A friend who had nowhere to go, so we took her in. I wasn't sure how it would go at first, but now…she's family."
That seemed to satisfy Charlotte, who looked out the window at the same city skyline they had admired on the way. Kate's eyelids became heavy and she tilted her head to the right, resting it against Monika's.