"She did it for you," Clint spoke softly into the silence of the Quinjet.
Clint was flying her to New Asgard.
After having some time to reinforce the relationships with her friends, and more importantly Steve, she thought it was time to go visit New Asgard. Thor was leaving that same day, and he was currently there with Valkyrie. Pietro had offered to come, but she had declined, because Clint and Spencer needed to have a conversation about what happened on Vormir.
So, here they were.
Spencer glanced at him with a somber expression and arched an eyebrow at him to clarify further on what he meant. The topic of Nat was finnicky among the circle of heroes, and for good reason, it was still fresh for them as it was for Spencer. Clint had been avoiding this conversation ever since the final fight, and she wanted to give him his time to mourn, to come to terms with everything that happened, but when she realized that he was actively avoiding the conversation about Nat, well, she put her foot down.
If anyone deserved answers, it was her.
Because she felt Nat's absence every fucking day.
It hurt just thinking about her, because Spencer knew that Nat was never coming back. She blinked away the tears in her eyes, as Clint glanced at her, his expression was almost too much for her in that moment. "To have been able to get the Soul Stone, we had to sacrifice someone we loved," Clint was trying to harden his expression, trying to detach himself from that moment of time he experienced, but he was failing, "I wanted it to be me," He sighs a little angrily, "I told her it was going to be me, but you know how she is," Clint shook his head with a bitter smile, "She always thought she had little to sacrifice compared to the rest of us."
"So, we fought," Clint gave a shrug, but the hurt expression on his face said everything, "She always had a way of fighting dirty," Clint scowled, and Spencer smiled bitterly, "We went over the edge, and I was holding onto her hand, trying to get her to reconsider, to think about you," Clint laughed, tears in his eyes as he held onto the steering wheel with a death grip, "I know it was a low blow, but…" Clint shook his head again, "She had said that she had been thinking about you, and that she was sacrificing herself to bring her little spider back."
And for the thousandth time, she broke down into tears again.
Because it hurt so damn much hearing it. Spencer had her theories, her suspicions', but to hear it from Clint's mouth, damn, it felt like a knife to her heart. Clint was holding her during her breakdown, and she felt him shaking as he held her, apologizing profusely to her, as if he could have done anything else to save Nat, but the fact of the matter is, he couldn't have.
Once Nat set her mind on something, that was it. There was no stopping the greatest assassin in the world.
When the tears ceased, and it was just the silence of their grieving and hurt, did they pull apart, "She left you something," Clint mumbled, eyes rimmed red, "I don't understand why it was so important to her, but maybe you do?" Clint got up, and went to rummage through his go-pack, because it was just instinct to always have a go-pack ready. He pulled out a familiar army vest, and Spencer felt her ache heart, because she knew why Nat left her that vest.
"I like that vest," Spencer eyed the vest that Nat was strutting.
It was during the ride to Wakanda, to get Vision help from King T'Challa.
Nat smirked at her, "Do you? I thought it was a little tacky."
That had confused her, "So, why the hell did you buy it? Can I, have it?" Spencer had asked with a wide grin, because whenever Nat didn't want something anymore, she usually gave it to her.
Nat shot her a playful glare, "You're a spoiled brat, you know?" Spencer laughed, "Yelena gave it to me for safe-keeping."At the mention of Yelena Belova, Spencer had felt herself freeze. Nat never spoke about her life before working for Shield, but Spencer was always able to piece together bits and pieces, and Nat had always been a little more forthcoming with Spencer. So, Spencer knew who Yelena was, and what she meant to Nat.
"So, you reconnected with her?" Spencer had a soft smile on her face.
Nat rolled her eyes, "Not exactly in the way I wanted, but yeah, I guess so," Nat leaned down towards Spencer with a proud glint in her eyes, "We took down the Red Room together."And that had made Spencer's breath stop and her heart to stutter wildly in her chest, because what the actual fuck. There were no words to describe how Spencer had felt in that moment, hearing Nat proudly state that she took down the frickin' Red Room.
"I thought you killed Dreykov?"Spencer whispered harshly, glancing wildly around her surroundings, did Clint know?
"Apparently not," Nat remarked dryly and humorlessly, "I was too confident that the blast killed him when we didn't retrieve the body," She had this faraway look in her eyes, and made Spencer wonder, "It's a long story, but we took it down."
Spencer remembered being awed at the thought of her mentor taking down her biggest demon, remembered the proud smirk that Nat wore when telling her about finally putting an end to the red room. Her fingers grasped the rough material of the vest, her eyes watered gently, and Clint was looking at her with a weird expression, "It was Yelena's," Spencer explained in a quiet voice, "Remember? Yelena Belova? Nat spoke about her whenever we got her super drunk?"
Clint nodded, "Yeah, this was hers?" He inquired.
She nodded, "Yelena and Nat reconnected at one point after the whole Civil War fiasco, and Yelena gave Nat this vest for safe-keeping," Spencer was already putting the vest on over her black long-sleeve, desperate to feel closer to her lost sister.
"Now that I think about it," Clint squinted his eyes at nothing in particular, "I remember hearing some talk about the Red Room," A small smile curled at the corner of his lips, "Do you know anything about that? I was under tight house arrest, so any noise about Steve or Pietro or anyone was kept away from me," He explained tightly with a frown marred on his face.
"She and Yelena took down the Red Room," Spencer clued him in with a satisfied smirk.
Clint's eyebrows shot up in disbelief, "So that son of a bitch Dreykov lived after Nat blew up his fucking office in Budapest?"
She couldn't help but to laugh, because Clint was extremely thorough during missions. He was always on her ass about not being thorough during their unfortunate missions together, and as much as she loved her adopted guardian/father, doing missions with him was her least favorite thing to do, "Apparently, he lived, somehow," She cocked her head to the side with a thoughtful expression, "Nat never told me how he lived, though I suppose I never pressed the issue, you know how she was with that stuff."
Clint was sulking, "She was always more open with you," He sighed, running a hand over his face in exasperation, "I can't believe we never got wind of the Red Room remaining in operation," He looked disturbed, and honestly, so was she, "Leave it to Nat to effectively take them down, I'm so proud of her." He has a fond, but grieving smile on his face.
Spencer reaches out to lay a comforting hand on his, "We'll get through this together, right?" They had always been a trio, but now with Nat gone, it was just them.
Clint's expression softened tremendously, "Of course," He reaches over to wrap his arm around her shoulders, pulling her against his bigger form, "Nat would haunt our asses if we let this tear our relationship apart," He gives a light chuckle.
"I'm going to visit her grave in Ohio," She feels a familiar comfort as Clint side-hugs her; one she only gets with the people she trusts completely and without question, "Maybe I should try looking for Yelena?" She wonders if Yelena knew, or if the woman had been snapped away up until recently.
Clint gives a shrug, "If you really want too. Don't know if she would be happy to see us, for all we know, she could hate our guts."
That made Spencer frown, "Why would she hate out guts?" She questioned, bewildered.
But Clint shrugged, before a beeping noise from the console grabbed their attention. Clint swiftly jumped onto his feet, "We're getting close," He says, going over to take the bird off of autopilot, "You good?" He gives her a fatherly concerned look.
She gives him a reassuring nod, going over to peer out the windshield to spot a growing town living on the edge of the water. It wasn't exactly what she imagined, but she liked what they were doing so far, it definitely gave her Asgard vibes. Deep within her body, she felt the Asgard life-force give an excited sensation to flood through her. It was happy to see their people recovering and safe now.
"It looks good," She looked at the incoming town with fondness.
Clint lands the bird right next to a familiar ship, and as soon as Spencer was stepping off the back hatch, she's snatched and hugged by Groot, "I am Groot!" His soft branches are rubbing against her skin, but it didn't hurt. It should've considering Groot is basically a tree, but his tree bark and branches were soft and gentle against her human skin.
"Hi, Groot!" She beamed at her friend brightly and hugged the teenager.
"Hey, kid," Clint bumped shoulders with Groot in greeting.
Rocket was sitting on a boulder, cleaning, and dismantling his gun, "He's been waiting the entire morning for you," Spencer grins, thrilled to see Rocket again, because he was so crass and grumpy, it was so cute, "Wouldn't shut up about you," Rocket narrows his beady eyes at her with mild contempt.
"Jealous?" She remarks smoothly as Peter walks up to her, and they fist bump in greeting.
"Jealous?" Rocket scoffs as if the thought was absurd, "Of a human?"
"Hey, I'm half human, remember?" Peter scowls angrily at Rocket.
"A duel!" Drax bellows from beside Nebula, "A duel between the rabbit and the girl!"
"Oh, yes!" Mantis nods her head excitedly, "I would love to see a duel!"
"A duel would entertain me," Nebula remarks in her raspy voice.
"You guys want me to fight a raccoon?" Spencer mutters, low enough for only Clint and Peter to hear her, the former snickering.
"I am Groot!" Groot tucks her against him almost protectively, and he's glaring at Rocket with a disapproving and angry expression.
Rocket glares at Groot hotly, "Groot, I will kick her ass."
"I highly doubt that," Clint states dryly.
"Yeah," Peter nods with a serious expression, "Did you see her kicking ass during the battle? She'd kick your ass without lifting a finger."
"Since when do you cheer for humans?!" Rocket yells, looking shocked.
"Not humans," Peter waggles his finger at Rocket, "But I know that she could kick all of our asses."
"Thanks for the confidence," Spencer muses, exchanging amused glances with Clint. It was flattering honestly, and she understood better now why Thor was so eager to join their crew. They were really entertaining.
"Can I duel her?" Drax raises his hand.
"I am Groot!" Groot snaps loudly.
"What did he say?" Clint asks no one in particular.
"That no one is dueling her because he'll get upset," Rocket snorts, and goes back to his weapon, "Besides, Thor wouldn't be happy if we're all trying to kill each other."
"How long until you guys leave?" Spencer asks as Peter pulls out some gummy bears from one of his many pockets.
"As soon as Thor finishes his chat with that warrior chick," Peter responds, chewing rather annoyingly, "The badass one with the flying horse."
"How did she get that, anyway?" Clint mumbles, looking confused.
"Don't you guys have those here?" Peter gives them a strange, confused look.
Clint and Spencer just stare at the guy, "We don't have winged horses here," She informs him slowly, "Do you not know much about your home planet?" She curiously asks him.
Peter gives a bored shrug, "I was kidnapped by aliens when I was, like, eight."
"Nice," Spencer's eyes widened in awe, how badass would have it been if she had been abducted by aliens!?
"I mean, yeah, but they always threatened to eat me," Peter shivers in disgust.
"Groot, you can let go of me, sweetie," Spencer realizes that Groot is still clinging onto her, "Honestly, I'm not entirely sure why he's so attached to me," She remarks with a chuckle as Groot shakes his head at her.
"Spencer!" Thor's voice booms.
It startles her, eyes wide as she looks over to the hill where Thor and Valkyrie are descending from, "Groot, let her go, buddy," Rocket sternly chastises him, "When someone you like tells you to let them go, you do it."
Groot grumbles under his breath, but slowly releases her.
Spencer gives a light snicker, before patting his arm fondly, "Thank you," Spencer heads over to Thor, and Thor embraces her tightly, "Hey!" She laughs, feeling the hum of his power wash over her skin, "You look like you're doing better," She says this honestly and happily, because he does look like he's getting better.
Thor gives her a grin, "A lot of errors were corrected," He tells her as Valkyrie bumps shoulders with her in greeting, "And I have a purpose again," He gestures to the Guardians behind him.
"So, Val is taking care of New Asgard while you're gone?" Spencer questions.
Val and Thor exchange knowing smirks, "I don't know if I should make you kneel before me," Val says nonchalantly, "Since I am the new ruler of New Asgard," Spencer's eyes widened, and her mouth drops open in shock.
"Wait, what?!" Spencer shrieks with a laugh.
"Honestly, I thought Steve would be the new ruler of Asgard," Clint responds from behind her, "Since you know, he picked up meow meow," Clint even does the lifting gesture, which makes her laugh.
"Honestly, I guess I shouldn't be too surprised," She comments offhandedly, "I wouldn't mind kneeling for you, my Queen," She winks at her friend.
"Oh, god!" Clint groans before laughing, "I'm telling Pietro!"
Val smirks at me and throws her arm over my shoulders, "I knew I always liked you, Spencer," She tells me, "I suppose I'll need adoring fans, I guess you can be the first," She says this playfully, and we're both grinning at each other, "I have a lot of changes I'll be making, might need someone to instill fear in them, too."
"Should I stay just to supervise?" Clint snorts, though Spencer does see some concern in his eyes about leaving her and Val together in New Asgard.
"Your old man worries too much," Val snidely remarks before waving her hand dismissively at Clint, "Worry not, old man, I don't intend to make my people plan an uprising on me yet," But the gleam in her eyes told Spencer that Val wouldn't mind if that happened, which made the young woman laugh under Val's arm.
Clint throws Thor a worried look, and Thor shrugs, "I am no longer King."
There are exchanges of goodbye given to everyone, since no one knew when the Guardians would return to visit, "I have some parting gifts!" Spencer is pulling her backpack from her back, and setting it on the floor between her legs, "Some incentive so that you guys come back with my best friend," She humored with a grin.
Peter legitimately looked like a kid on Christmas at the mention of gifts, and was first in line, waiting eagerly for his as Spencer rifled through her magical backpack, her head poking inside the vastness as she looked for Peter's gift. She pulled out a canvas that was framed, it was a 18x24 canvas, and gracing the canvas was a beautiful, fierce green woman.
Peter's expression went slack, and there was a pregnant silence that fell over the group of superheroes.
Spencer tried her best to bring Gamora to life on her canvas, but the literal minute that she spent fighting alongside the fierce woman in the midst of a deadly battle didn't leave her with a lot of time to memorize all of her facial features properly, "I fought alongside her in the battle, only for a minute, but I tried my best," Spencer chew on her lip as she scrunched up her nose, agitated at the thought of getting something wrong, "I'm sorry if I didn't get anything correctly or if I missed something—"
Peter's shaky hands are reaching towards the canvas, and Spencer lets go of it willingly, and watches as Peter stares longingly at the beautiful render of Gamora. He's disassociating, that much was obvious to everyone, but he snaps out of it quietly, and looks up at her with emotional eyes, "You even got her markings right," His voice trembles slightly, "Thank you, you don't know how much it means," It sounds as if his throat is tight, his voice strained.
"Wow," Rocket comes to stand beside Peter, "I don't think I've ever seen you like this," He peers at her curiously, "You make me feel like that, and I'll steal your eyeball."
"I am Groot!" Groot cries angrily at Rocket.
Spencer just rolls her eyes, before pulling out a velvet pouch full to the brim of shimmering gems, and hands it to the enhanced raccoon.
Rocket snatches it out of her fingers, and rips it open, and begins expertly investigating the gems, it makes Spencer want to throttle him, but she patiently moves onto Groot, knowing that Rocket will voice his complaints if he finds anything.
"And for my favorite tree," She pulls out a Rubik cube, and hands it to him, "A Rubik cube to keep you busy," Groot takes it gently out of her hands, his mind already at work trying to figure out what the cube does, before his branchy fingers are already turning the cube to match colors to each side, "And whenever you figure that one out, you can play this," She pulls out a colorful carrying case for a Nintendo Switch, already loaded with tons of games she bought, and she made Groot an online account and loaded it tons of money so he could buy any game he wanted.
Groot briefly looks at his other gift, takes it from her gently, before hurrying back into the ship with an excited growl, "I am Groot!"
"And we never saw him again," Clint snorts and Spencer laughs.
She hands Drax some Vibranium daggers, since she saw him battling with daggers. He seemed thrilled as hell as he laughed and started wielding them and making slashing movements, "I like you, human woman! When I return to this cesspit of a planet, we shall duel!"
Spencer's mouth twitches upwards, "Sounds like a plan," She moves over to Mantis and gifts the alien woman some scented oils, lotions, and other self-care items along with some poem books that Spencer suspected she would like, "Peter tells me you can sense and alter others' emotions, right?" Mantis gives a timid nod, "Well, that sounds exhausting, being able to feel everyone's emotional state, so I had my friend Bruce come up with a lotion that cancels that for an hour," She explains holding up the lotion with a picture of Bruce on it, "You can use all this other stuff to relax, and take care of yourself," Spencer briefly launches into explanation on what everything does and Mantis listens with rapt attention, before gracing her with a smile.
"You are so kind," Mantis speaks formally, "I will treasure your gift forever!"
"Mantis," Drax looks jealous, "Let's trade!"
Mantis snatches up her giant bag of self-care items and cradles it against her chest, "No!"
Spencer snorts with laughter as Mantis scurries inside the ship, and Drax follows with and the two begin to bicker. Nebula is last and was the hardest for Spencer to think of a good farewell gift, but Pepper had told her that Nebula had grown to care for Tony while the two were lost in space. Tony's passing had weighed heavily on the severe-looking woman. Spencer gives Nebula a small smile before reaching into her pocket and pulling out a variety of board games piled inside of a gift bag, "Tony said you liked playing paper football, and seemed to enjoy the non-violent competition that it brought," She explained softly, "So, I thought you would enjoy playing them with the others," Her eyes sweep to the rest of Nebula's friends, "Tony quite enjoyed Monopoly," She pulls that game board out for Nebula to see, "Though I suspect he always cheated somehow." She scowled playfully.
Nebula's face is hard to read, like incredibly so, but she reaches for the gift bag, "Thank you," Her black eyes are almost impossible to read, too, but she dips her head and a soft expression spread across her face, "He said that we would've like you," And heads inside the ship.
Thor's large hand settles on her shoulder, "You are too kind," He has a soft smile on his face, and she grins cheekily back at him.
Rocket grumbles, "I would have like that metal arm from that one guy,"
Spencer smirks, because she had known, but getting that arm was nearly impossible. Bucky had seen her eying his arm, and immediately gave her the nastiest, and deadliest glare she'd ever seen on anyone's face, "I was tempted," She sighs wistfully, "But we promised a truce, and stealing his arm would start another Civil War."
Thor and Clint laugh at her words, because they fully understood that inside joke.
Peter and Rocket retreat into their ship, and Clint went to go start up his own bird. Val stayed, but only because she was nosey and wanted to see Thor cry. Spencer hugged her friend tightly, "Come back, yeah? And stay safe," She says softly into his shoulder as Thor hugs her back tightly.
"Can I be honest?" Thor murmurs.
"Of course," Spencer responds.
"Earth has too many painful memories," He admits into her ear, arms tightening around her, and she feels the thrum of his own power clashing with her own in reassuring embrace, "I have lost so much since arriving here, I do not wish to return, so I must selfishly ask that you do not reach out to me unless it is very important," At least he was being honest, and as much as she wanted to be selfish, the conversation she had with Steve still lingered in her mind.
Steve had stayed, partly because of her.
Thor didn't want to stay, so, she would let her beloved friend go.
Spencer pulled away from him, and gave him a firm nod, "I understand," She would miss him, but she would live with it, because if anyone deserved to find peace and happiness, it was Thor, "We'll be here whenever you're ready to come back for a visit."
Thor gently kisses her forehead, "Also, please make sure Val doesn't burn down New Asgard."
"I heard that," Val remarks with a frown.
Thor and Spencer laugh, "Here," Spencer pulls something from her pocket, and gently lays it onto Thor's open palm. It was the bead that Heimdall had given her so many years ago, the one to communicate with her easily, and Thor peered at it with understanding, his eyes reading the markings on it.
His large hand curled and the bead disappeared in his grasp, "Words are not adequate for everything I wish to express to you," He sighs softly, "Thank you, and I'm sorry that my mistake cost you Natasha."
Spencer frowned, "Your mistake?"
Thor gave a sharp nod as his expression darkened, "I did not kill Thanos before he snapped you all away, if I had, Natasha's life wouldn't have been forfeit for the Soul Stone," He explains with a bitter tone.
"No one ever blamed you," Her tone is aggressive now, and a frown marred on her face, "I don't blame, so neither should you," Spencer pokes his chest, her eyes bright with anger and frustration that Thor blamed himself for what happened, "For all of the talk about how powerful I am, I didn't even fight him like you all did. I couldn't even fight him, because I was completely terrified of him, so maybe if I had been stronger, I could have saved us a lot of pain. We all have regrets, Thor, and we all wish we could have done things differently, but we can't turn back the clock."
They both stare at each other, weighed down and haunted by their past mistakes, but Thor gently pats her head, "Stubborn woman," But there's a soft curve of his lips as he says this.
Spencer swats his hand away, "If you could bring me a space puppy, that would be cool." She mutters with a small tint of red on her face.
A few minutes later, and Spencer was watching Peter's ship warp out of their atmosphere towards space. Clint and Val were flanking her sides, and the sun was beginning to set now, the air getting chilly now. She stared into the vast sky, and prayed that her newfound friends would be safe, but especially Thor.
"He's so emotional when he's with you," Val comments with a scowl.
Spencer rolls her eyes at her companion, but ignores her as she turns towards Clint, "Better get going, old man, or else mom will kick your ass for being late to dinner," She teases her adopted father.
Clint glares at her, "I'll kick your ass if she kicks my ass!"
"I'll kick both your asses just for fun," Val gives a shrug and a smirk.
Sorry this took so long to get put out, it's been a tough month for me, I suppose. I was lacking a lot of motivation to complete this chapter, so I do apologize if it seems different, rushed, or anything. I feel like it doesn't flow properly, idk, I feel like I'm not happy with it, so I might change it up whenever I feel like doing so. Updates for this might be slower as I want to start focusing on re-writing my twilight fic, just a fyi.