Sai closed the door to the bedroom, setting his bag down and resting both hands on the dresser as he stared into the mirror. Beads of sweat had gathered on his brow, causing his bangs to stick to his forehead; he felt cold sweat all over his body. How had she managed to do that? Then, just like that, he felt something. Not just that, but a memory had surfaced. No, not just a memory... More than one. He stared down at his hands, feeling cold and shaky.
He just needed to sleep. Sleep would fix it. Sleep would make it go away. It always did. He reached into his bag, pulling out a bottle of pills and shaking one out into his palm before taking it and downing it with the last of the water in his water bottle. He waited a few moments, taking off his tie and belt before moving out to the main area to lock the front door and shut off the lights. Ino appeared to have made her way to the other bedroom; she must have picked up on him wanting some time to himself after their conversation. He needed to make sure he could focus. He couldn't be distracted by the ghosts of his past. Not if it meant putting his charge in danger.
Then again... she seemed to enjoy flirting with danger. Sai thought back to their evening at the hotel, the way she'd come on to him; though he'd managed to brush her off, he was still struggling with what she'd made him feel. He hadn't been lying about the appropriateness of the situation; there were rules and regulations in place to prevent that sort of thing. That, and he couldn't even consider it, given how intoxicated she'd been. He had far too much respect for her, even if she wouldn't have regretted it when she was sober.
Ino had slowly moved off into her room, setting her bag down and laying back across the bed. She'd clearly touched a nerve with Sai, though she wasn't sure what kind of nerve it was. He was on edge and acting strange; it worried her. But, on the other hand, there was a lot more to Sai than what he seemed. Hearing shuffling out in the kitchen, she peered through the crack in the door to see him wandering around, checking the doors and turning off the lights. They'd driven for quite a while, long enough that the sun had set. She was going to be here for the foreseeable future, at least until they could figure out a better alternative.
Heaving a sigh, she pulled out her laptop, ensuring that it wasn't connected to any networks before she went in to access the files. They were files she'd downloaded at the office, mainly information on family finances that she'd collected over the years. She felt... filthy, almost, going through all of this information. Still, she wanted to make sure she had evidence lined up and ready to go before confronting her father. It wasn't going to be an easy conversation to have. Sai would help her, but she had to treat it as an investigation: her father was a suspect in everything. Her family had some connection to what was going on. And she was determined to find it.
Sai fell asleep at some point throughout the night, though he snapped awake in the same cold sweat as earlier. He looked at his hands; what he saw were hands covered in blood, even though he subconsciously knew that was impossible. Then, in a frenzy, he rushed into the hall, scrambling into the washroom and washing off his hands. The cold water was refreshing; he cupped some in his hands and splashed his face, gripping the edge of the sink as he tried to catch his breath.
Unfortunately, he made just enough noise to wake Ino, who'd been sleeping soundly. She could hear him moving around in the washroom, along with the running and splashing of water. Opening the door, she could see that his face was pale, the kind of paleness that came from fear and anxiety. She'd only seen that kind of fear once in her life, and it'd been on her own face when she found out her best friend had been shot.
"Hey, hey, calm down, just breathe," she said softly, rushing over to Sai; he tried to push her away, but she was relentless, reaching a hand up to his face to turn his gaze toward her. "You're okay, whatever you heard, whatever you saw, whatever's haunting you, it's not here, okay? It's just us. No one around for miles, no cell service, nothing. Just breathe, okay?" Her warm hand on his cool face was relaxing, allowing him to close his eyes and take a breath. Even closing his eyes, he could see images he wanted to forget, images he hoped were only figments of his imagination.
"I didn't," he said shakily, almost incoherently. "I couldn't have, I can't... I don't..." His breaths were shaky, fighting against the memories, fighting against the knowledge that he'd slaughtered all those people in cold blood. He remembered being soaked in it; his clothes had reeked of old blood for ages. So why were these memories surfacing now? Why, of all times, did he have to remember it when he was supposed to be protecting someone? It was torture.
"Hey, hey, talk to me," Ino coaxed, taking his hand and leading him to the couch. What could possibly have someone like him this shaken up? Whatever it was, it was clear he needed to talk about it, and she was the closest thing he had to a friend at the moment. She was here to be a helpful ear.
"No, I can't," he said frantically, shaking his head. "If... If what I'm seeing, if the parts I remember are true, I... I may not be able to do my job, or I might be worse than whatever it is I'm protecting you from." He had counted the number of bodies he'd seen. It was hundreds, according to his memories. Those couldn't be his handiwork. It had to be something else. It just had to be.
"Sai, listen to me," Ino said, laying her hands over his; she could see how badly they were shaking. She'd never seen him this worked up. She was glad they were at the safe house; this would not have been something she wanted to deal with at her own home. But, here, they were safe. Perhaps that was the reason he was so worked up about it.
"You have done more than enough to prove to me that whatever it is, whatever's in your past, whatever you did when you were younger, that you are not that person." She reached a hand up and laid it on his cheek, turning his gaze toward her. His eyes were still closed; he couldn't bear to open his eyes and look at her. "I know I screwed up once, but you were trying to protect me. Hell, I was a bitch to you, and you still put my safety over everything else. You had no reason to care, and you did." To care? Was that what he was feeling?
"Ino, I... the other night at the hotel-"
"Don't worry about that. I'm not upset." That was a lie. She was bummed he'd turned her down, but right now wasn't the time to address that. "I understand why you said what you did. It makes sense." His words had been sensible. There were probably regulations he had to follow. If that was the case, then she had to respect them.
"I... You would be better off under the protection of someone who... understands themselves better. I do not. Miss Yamanaka-Ino, you are kind, and you are gentle. I have seen how fiercely you will defend your best friend and how much you will look out for her. I am... not a person who deserves such kindness. I have too much repenting to do." His words made little to no sense to Ino; just what was it that he had to repent for? She couldn't think of anything he'd done horribly wrong to her, so it had to be something about his past.
"Sai, you understand enough about yourself to know what's right and what's wrong. I trust you to look out for me and protect me. You've already done that much for me. You figured out that someone was lurking around my home. You kept me safe. You moved quickly to make sure that I was safe, first and foremost. And most of all, you took the time to get to know me before assuming that I was part of anything. You may not understand what you're feeling, but... I can help you." She was sure she had an idea what he was going through. He was stunted emotionally; whatever happened in his past was so traumatic he was struggling with understanding human emotions. People like that could go one of two ways. But, Sai at least had a sensible moral compass to guide him.
"But what happens when-"
"When what?" Ino interrupted. "When you have to point that gun and pull the trigger? That depends. If someone walked through that door right now and pointed a gun at me, what would you do? Would you just point and shoot?"
"No, I would... I would attempt to talk him down and put myself between you and him."
"Exactly. You're not just mindlessly firing a gun because you see a threat. Your primary instinct isn't to shoot. It's to protect." She wondered if it only applied because it was her in this situation, but that didn't matter at the moment. One step at a time; that was what they needed.
"And if that changes?" He asked with a hint of uncertainty.
"It won't." Ino shook her head. "Not unless you want it to." She poked him in the chest, right where his heart was. "Follow what's in here," she said, then poked him in the forehead. "Not what's up here. You said yourself that you made your own path in life and chose to make yourself into something. This is the person you chose to be. The guy who's going to hide out in a secluded, kind of empty, boring safe house with a girl he barely met because saving people and catching bad guys is what he wants to do." Ino patted him on the shoulder before standing up. "Come on. Let's go back to bed and get some rest. We've got some digging to do tomorrow morning." Digging was putting it mildly, but what else were they going to call it? They would have to go through every communication she'd had about her family's finances, scrutinizing everything she'd done for their family over the years. Even old finances that she had only for reference purposes. The amount of research was going to be exhausting.
"Sure. Wake me if you need anything," Sai said, still looking a bit troubled. He'd calmed a little, but those memories were still nagging at him. He would just have to try and get some sleep for the time being.