Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters.

Chapter Twenty-Four: Awareness

The battle between Sota and his archenemy known as trigonometry had just ended – obviously, the boy had lost once again – when the storm began. In the beginning, he didn't think much of it, especially because the soft pat of the pouring rain on the window next to his desk was somehow relaxing. However, when the thunder started too and the rainy intensified, he worried.

When had Kagome said she would be home? He couldn't remember if she had plans with Inuyasha to have dinner together or if she intended to be at the shrine before supper time. Of course, the weather out there wasn't the ideal for a romantic walk hand in hand. He thought about asking Grampa, but then he told himself the old man surely didn't remember either. He would force Sota to listen to one of his long sermons regarding Kagome's allegedly wedding or the teen's duty to become a priest and run the shrine when he wouldn't be there anymore.

Sota grabbed his mobile phone – one of the gifts his sister had given him when she had started working at Taisho Tech – and dialled her number. The call went to voice mail. He then tried the half-demon, and this time the phone rang, but no one picked up. They weren't doing anything that would give Grampa an early heart attack, were they?

He sighed and mulled over what he could do. The city wasn't safe at times like that. He tried to remember if there was the chance of a typhoon but then cursed because he never watched the television or, at least, checked the forecast.

In the end, since no one was answering their phone, he ran at supersonic speed towards the living room, even risking a scramble down the stairs. Grabbing an umbrella and slipping on his shoes at the same time, he left word with his grandfather that he would be back shortly.

Everything had happened in less than a couple of minutes. Ichiro remained speechless as, due to the wind Sota had produced as he rushed down, the pages of the newspaper he was reading were stuck to his face. His nephew had made him forget his mark on the page. Where had he said he was going? Hey, wait a minute...wasn't it raining outside?

Once he left the safety of the veranda, Sota realized his umbrella was useless; a couple of seconds had been enough for him to get drenched from head to toe. Nonetheless, his purpose still in mind, he headed towards the stairs. At the top of these, he was forced to slow down and use more caution because he didn't want to fall down those.

Once he reached the last step, he was about to turn to the right, heading towards the metro when he noticed a small figure next to him. It was so dark he almost mistook it for vegetation. He glanced at it better, and he realized that the person he was looking at with big eyes and mouth wide open was indeed the sister he had been calling non-stop.

What on earth was she doing in that downpour? Was she trying to get sick? Why the hell had Inuyasha left her there without making sure she reached the house before leaving? Anger rose in him but then told himself he better take care of his sister instead of thinking about the half-demon. Kagome wasn't even answering him and seemed lost in her small, sad world.

He walked over to her and slowly put a hand on her shoulder, so he wouldn't startle her; she flinched anyway. When she raised her face to him, Kagome's gaze was dull, her eyes red and swollen, and her face streaked with tears; they were definitely tears, not rain.

"Kagome? What?" he tried to say. His sister continued to look at him as if she couldn't even focus on him. Maybe the rain that kept falling on his face from the wet bangs was keeping him from looking at things clearly. "What are you doing here?" he tried again. "Weren't you supposed to be hanging out with Inuyasha?"

The moment he uttered the half-demon's name, Kagome seemed to perk up. She moved her shoulder to weasel out of her brother's weak grip and sprang to her feet; Sota frowned. "I have to go!" She blurted out before she started running in the direction the boy was heading. She left her brother standing on the last steps of the shrine, yelling at her to stop and tell him what had happened. She ignored him, and with newfound confidence, decided she couldn't wait until tomorrow to clear the air with Inuyasha. She had to do it now.

She hoped Sota wouldn't resent her, but she had better things to do. She had to right the wrongs of the last few weeks.

When she finally arrived at Inuyasha's condo unit, she stopped at the sliding doors that kept opening and closing. She was out of breath and rested her hands on her knees in an attempt to recover before she could enter the building in that pitiful state. She wiped her face with the palm of her hand, then straightened up and squeezed as much water as she could from her clothes and hair.

From where she stood, she could not see the astonished expression of one of the receptionists in the lobby. Shortly after, he approached her and, in no uncertain terms, asked her to move away so that the sliding doors could close and the wind and rain would no longer enter the building. In fact, as she looked for the first time, Kagome noticed the mess she was making. The always perfect and arranged hall of the luxurious building had never seemed so chaotic to her.

"You see, I..." she tried to say as the employee's grim gaze looked at her with disdain. "I-I... I came to see someone."

"In this weather?" This time Mr. Receptionist crossed his arms, raised an eyebrow and looked at her sceptically. He could hardly believe someone who lived there had invited someone like her. In fact, they had never met before; Kagome had always avoided being seen by someone whenever they stayed at Inuyasha's. "And who are you supposed to visit? I can't let you in looking like that anyway. Come back when you're more decently dressed." He chuckled at his own joke. In that weather, it would be impossible.

Kagome felt the anger bubbling up in her and wanted so much to answer him back. However, when she was about to, she froze, realizing that the word already on the tip of her tongue wasn't the right one. Her boyfriend? Had Inuyasha broken up with her earlier? No, she didn't want to believe it was over before it had even started for real, nor without having a chance to explain herself. However, she still couldn't just blurt it out to a guy so full of himself who probably wouldn't even believe her. Maybe he would even sell the news to the first newspaper that paid him well once he understood she wasn't kidding.

As she crossed eyes with the nasty guy, Kagome mused that even if she had decided to give a damn and tell the word of her relationship with her boss, she still wanted to do it with Inuyasha, not because of some stranger.

She gritted her teeth and tried to come up with a proper response to not get kicked out when, from behind the boy, appeared the second receptionist. She was holding what looked like a pair of very soft and warm towels and a smile on her lips. "Come on, Taro, don't be your usual grumpy self. Don't let her stand in the rain, or she'll catch a cold; she seems already tired out. Besides, if you send a guest away, the tenant might take it out on you."

Kagome didn't even give him time to protest. She grabbed the opportunity – and the towels – and took a deep breath as the heat of the room overwhelmed her.

"I, on the other hand, have been seeing a lot of you lately. Do you already know what floor you have to go to?" the girl continued. Kagome nodded, though, inside, she began to wonder if she had even noticed who Kagome came with each time. Was she supposed to doubt her as well? "Great then, you can leave your dirty towels in the basket you find in the genkan; the cleaning crew will take care of it."

Kagome nodded a second time and thanked her before disappearing through the stairs. It was all far too good to be true. Still, the most difficult part was yet to come.

Inuyasha had managed to come home before the storm began, but his mind kept going back to the small figure he had left at the foot of the shrine's stairs.

Had Kagome returned in time avoiding the rain? How was she now that he had treated her with such coldness and resentment?

There on the couch, his face hidden behind his hands, he couldn't find peace. Why did he torment himself when he had no fault? He had made the right choice, hadn't he? Sooner or later, he would have let her know anyway what he thought about her behaviour and how much it hurt him. Yet… could he have dealt with everything differently? Yes, he answered without hesitation. He could have been gentler and more lucid, but as his usual self, he had been reckless, and he hadn't even count to ten before he spoke.

What did this fight between them mean now? Was it already the end? Well, he mused, at this point, if there was no hope, it was a good thing no one knew about them; it had spared him some hassles. But was he willing to let her go so soon without even thinking about it or discussing it?

His mind kept running through so many dangerous paths, and he felt lost. Maybe he could ask for some piece of advice, but who should he call? His father wasn't even an option, and, probably, Miroku would scold him once he found out the way Inuyasha had spoken to Kagome. Still, his friend was the best choice.

He wasn't even sure if he should call his friend right away, but he realized that listening to a different opinion, or even getting a lecture, would always be better than drowning in remorse. However, he didn't even have a chance to think about it for a second longer because loud noises outside the apartment caught his attention. Someone was knocking rather insistently.

"What the fuck?" he muttered to himself as he stood up impatiently. Who the heck was it at that hour and in that weather? If the third-floor tenant had come once again to complain about non-existent noises, he was going to give him a piece of his mind. Inuyasha wasn't even moving. What excuse did she have to come to bother him?

With a fierce scowl on his face, the half-demon crossed the room in a couple of leaps and jerked the door open, almost unhinging it. His expression turned for a second to complete surprise as he recognized Kagome's wet figure in the doorway of his apartment. A second later, he pulled himself together and donned a mask of indifference. Inside he was torn between anger and guilt.

Anger because, after everything that had happened, she had the nerve to come and disturb him when it was clear he needed time to think for himself. Why had she come? To make him understand why it was better for them to still hide their relationship?

Guilt because Kagome stood there shaking and coughing because of him.

For a moment, he thought about slamming the door in her face since he didn't feel like listening to any more bullshit. Then he told himself that he didn't want to be a bastard; Kagome didn't deserve such behaviour, even though she had hurt him before. Besides, he didn't have the heart to make her leave in that weather and made her catch an illness.

Silently, he opened the door even wider and stepped aside to let her through. He flattened himself against the doorframe to avoid accidentally touching her, and a grimace appeared on Kagome's already pained face.

Well then, she didn't miss it. She might as well understands now how we stood.

Even though he regretted being so rough and abrupt in the car, he still didn't want her to take him for a fool or go back on their previous arrangement. He had been meeting her halfway since day one, wasn't it time she was willing to make some compromises as well?

As Kagome remained motionless in the living room, not knowing where to go nor daring to sit in her state, Inuyasha went to get her more towels. She grabbed them as soon as he handed them to her to complete the job she had started down in the lobby.

The stifling silence reigned between them for a while longer until Inuyasha snapped and broke the ice. "Well? Is there any particular reason you thought it was smart to brave a downpour like that just to come to me and remain silent?" A moment later, he regretted again the harsh tone he had automatically used. When she flinched, he complimented himself.

"Great, Inuyasha. You sure work things out that way."

Kagome lowered her head even more and muttered something that didn't even reach Inuyasha's canine ears. "Can you repeat that?"

"I'm sorry," she said again with a feeble voice.

"You're sorry," Inuyasha repeated. "And what exactly are you sorry for?"

"F-for... for acting like a... like a... like a b-bitch earlier." The half-demon raised an eyebrow when he heard her talk like that. "F-for pretending there was nothing between us. For h-hurting you," she finally concluded.

He huffed and almost laughed. He ran a hand through his hair nervously. Apparently, Kagome didn't even understand why he'd gotten so angry if she thought the problem was just what had happened at the restaurant. "This isn't it," he muttered as he shook his head. "This isn't right, Kagome."

She widened her eyes and gasped. Was Inuyasha going to leave her? Did he want to finish what he had started earlier?

"Do you think I burst out like that just because of what happened a few hours ago?" he asked her incredulously.

"Well, I-I... I'd like to u-understand." She cleared his throat and continued without stuttering. "Give me a chance to make it right." Inuyasha diverted his gaze, unable to look again into those eyes that would make even the strongest of men feel guilty. He had to resist; it wasn't time to be kinder yet.

"Kagome, I tried to meet you halfway. I told myself I was ok with your suggestion because at the beginning I wanted to have time for the both of us alone too; I wished to enjoy your company. But more than two months have gone through, even my father and brother thinks it's fine to stop pretending, and I've had enough of this secrecy. I'd like to do what I really want with my girlfriend. What kind of relationship is this if we don't take at least a step further? Yet, every time I suggested something, even the smallest of the things, you always ignored me or dismissed me – maybe you've been gentle while doing it, but you still did it."

"But I… I was afraid… I'm not used to this kind of things, Inuyasha."

"I know, damn it, I know! Don't make it seem like I'm the insensitive one here. A relationship is made of compromises, and it seems to me like I'm the only one willing to do them. Don't you think it's high time you meet me halfway too? You had the perfect occasion today, and you fucking blew it! Come on, even your colleagues looked at you like you had lost your mind when you told me that ours was just a work date and pretended there is nothing between us. What should I think then if you dismiss me so easily? What's the truth? The official one or the one you tell me when it's just the two of us?"

"Of course I want to be with you, that you're not just my boss! But how can I understand what's right and wrong in a relationship if I never got one? I don't know what I should do and, apparently, everything I do it's wrong!"

"You could have started listening to what I had to tell you when I was trying to move our relationship further. Yet, for every time I heard you say no, it seems to me like you don't want anything serious, and you're satisfied with how things are right now. Is like that, Kagome?" He looked at her straight in the eyes, pinning her down with a piercing gaze.

"W-what? No!" She struggled for a couple of seconds, then found the words. "No, it's not like that. I like you for real, and it's true I was happy with how things were going between us, but it doesn't mean I don't want anything more. I was trying new things out, but maybe we perceived time passing by differently."

"Try new things out?" Inuyasha snickered. "It's like that? You used me to try new things out because you had no experience? You took advantage of the first person available, and you planned to get rid of me when you had no need anymore?" At that point, Inuyasha realized he was going too far, he knew Kagome wouldn't be so mean, yet he couldn't stop. His wounded pride but also the disappointment were making him speak too much.

Her eyes widened, not believing what was coming out of his mouth. Nonetheless, the befuddlement lasted only a couple of seconds. Soon the anger caused by such insinuations took its place. "How could you say something like that? And you say you know me? If I wasn't interested in you, If I was just trying new things out, I could choose between a lot of men, don't you think? There is no shortage of suitors for me."

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes when she said that. "Then why you don't want anyone to know about us? You're afraid of what they could say? You already have an open-ended contract. It's not like I've been given you promotions or letting you slack off. Or do you just want to keep your options open?"

"Damn it, Inuyasha! Can you cut off the bullshits? What else should I say to let you understand that I didn't do it intentionally even if I hurt you? I got carried away with my fears and the idea that we were both okay with the way things were. I was too afraid to ruin what we had, and I didn't understand that, by staying still, I was ruining the same thing I was trying to preserve. How can I make you understand that I'm sorry? Don't you even want to listen to me? If you think that there is no future, that nothing I'm telling you can make up for my mistakes, you just have to tell me. I will leave this apartment, and once I do, I'll be just your secretary and nothing more. I promise I'll never bother you again, nor will what we had, even if brief, interfere with my work."

Inuyasha flinched upon hearing those words and understanding them fully. He was there glaring at her, his voice high and tone defiant, his raised hands gesturing furiously. There he was, being nasty to her, unable to stop himself, even though he knew inside that this was not the way to deal with things and that his anger was taking over. Yet, her words had the effect of a cold shower.

He saw himself from the point of view of an outsider, saw his tall figure towering over Kagome. With her wet clothes and hair stuck to her face, her pleading gaze and lips curved into a grimace, she looked like a frightened puppy.

He realized with a shudder that it was the point of no return. Should he let his pride get the better of him once again or accept her apology, believe in her good faith and let Kagome heal those wounds she herself had inflicted on him with her behaviour?

Who was he? The cynical and gruff man who, to not appear weak, sent away the person who mattered most in his life at the moment? Or the reasonable and mature man who understood that quarrels were normal and completely solvable? But most of all, he wondered as his eyes widened and he looked at the woman in front of him in a different light, was there another way to resolve everything without coming out with a broken heart?

The answer to that question hit him even harder, and a new understanding shook him. Suddenly, whatever they were discussing, whatever negative feelings and accusations he had on the tip of his tongue disappeared. He felt something inside him move, and it seemed to him that his heart could burst and leave his chest at any moment. What was happening to him? What was he doing?

Everything seemed clear to him, and his decision made, it almost seemed as if whatever had triggered the quarrel had to disappear, at least for the time being. He could no longer remember for what reason, in a faint voice shaken by sobs, Kagome was saying sorry. She had braved the storm, carelessly, just to reach him, and Inuyasha still had the nerve to reject her and play hard to get?

She was in the wrong now, sure, but he had messed up so much in those first few months and he had always been forgiven. Something inside him was telling him that their fight, their first confrontation as a couple – couple, he punctuated that word in his mind –, was perfectly normal, but it wasn't worth holding a grudge for too long, not if the result involved both of them being alone, strangers again.

His mind went blank, and only the image of the two of them in that living room remained. Besides their breaths, the only sound was that of rain falling in small drops from her clothes. They were left alone with new feelings becoming stronger in them all of a sudden. Inuyasha looked at her; she seemed so weak, and he felt the urgent need to protect her from everyone, everything, from him and his impetuousness.

The realization of what it all meant still hit him like a slap in the face. Why he had been so hurt by her behaviour, why he wasn't willing to let her go, why he felt that instinct to protect her arise in him... the answer had always been in front of his eyes.

It was like an epiphany that struck like a bolt from the blue and changed one's existence completely.

Meanwhile, Kagome became aware of the prolonged silence that had descended between them and began to torture herself while biting her lower lip with her teeth. Had Inuyasha made his decision and no longer contemplated the idea of them as a couple? Was she the one who made the final misstep? Tears filled her eyes again, ready to mar her face even though it felt like she had already shed too many, but she stubbornly pushed them back.

"Inuyasha?" she tried to say with a meek voice; it didn't even sound like her own. Whatever had him immobile with wide eyes and parted lips, whatever he had decided, he could at least tell her outright.

Her body was shaken by tremors. Was it because of the cold, or was it because of her heart leaking out of her chest, falling to the wet floor and beating one last time before shattering into a thousand pieces? Would she be able to put the piece back together again later?

Why did that same heart not even seem to belong to her anymore all of a sudden?

Her face turned even paler, and her astonished expression matched that of the half-demon in front of her, who was realizing the same thing.

It was indeed the point of no return for both of them, but not in the way they had initially feared. They both realized the meaning of those emotions they had never been able to name. It was the moment of awareness.

"Kagome," he said back. His lips tightened into a straight line for a moment. Inuyasha became contemplative and then understood everything.

She read the answer in his golden eyes, and it left her speechless. As the half-demon drew closer and closer, stretching his arm out towards her and she dropped everything she had in her hands to the ground. She saw herself in his eyes and, most of all saw her own inner torment reflected – the trace of what she too had just understood.

In just a moment, it was as if the anguish of a few seconds before had never existed. In its place, it existed only the joy of that discovery, as sudden as it was.

In those three months that they had been together and dated, in that year that they had grown up and watched the other do the same, they had learned from each other. At the same time, they had never seen each other clearly, nor had they looked inside themselves and understood the nature of those feelings that now seemed so obvious.

They never knew the love they both shared.

Now was the time to rectify any mistakes and misjudgements.

A/N: So sorry if I was late posting this chapter. I hope you liked it and if you want to, I'd appreciate reading your opinion about it.

Until next time!