"Welcome back!"
Tohru's sweet voice when Kyo stepped back into the hospital room was like a balm to his soul, and he smiled as he looked over at the bed. She looked a bit better than she when he left, though maybe it was just because he felt better. But either way, he was thrilled to see it.
"Thanks! I hope you behaved yourself while I was gone," he said as he walked over and set down their bags next to the bed. "I don't want to hear any horror stories from the nurses."
She giggled and shook her head. "I was good, scout's honor! I even got in another little nap," she said, smiling. She was studying Kyo at they spoke, and what she saw was almost as refreshing as the nap had been. He still looked tired, but the furrow was gone from his brow and the anxious look from his eyes when he looked at her. Instead, he actually looked...happy. Genuinely, properly happy.
And she was so very relieved.
"Did you have trouble finding anything?" She asked as she looked down at their bags. And Kyo shook his head, picking hers back up and setting it next to her on the bed.
"Nah. I probably should have checked in to see if there was anything else you wanted especially, but I grabbed your charger and another nightgown and that book you were reading, in case you wanted a break from your phone. Oh, and I brought you this," he added with a grin as he set a paper bag down in her lap.
Tohru squealed excitedly as she picked up the bag. "Kyo, you didn't have to get me melon bread!"
He laughed, sitting down beside her. "You're supposed to actually look at what it is before you thank me, you goof."
"Why, when we both know what it is?" Tohru was grinning as she opened the bag, then laughed as she looked inside. "SIX melon breads? How hungry do you think I am?"
"You can blame Riko for the number. I told her I wanted to bring you one, and she insisted. Said that after what you'd been through, you deserved a whole dozen, but she didn't want you to completely lose your appetite for anything else and that even their pastry couldn't make up a balanced diet," he said with a smile. "She and Yamato both asked after you and Hajime, by the way. I said I'd check in with you and we could maybe figure out a time for them to come by and meet Hajime."
Tohru was happily tucking into her first melon bread, her favorite treat from Tanaka's bakery back in Hibe. Since moving to town, the bakers had become some of Tohru and Kyo's closest friends, and Riko knew exactly what Tohru's opinion was of their melon bread!
"That would be wonderful. I'd love to see them later, and to introduce them to Hajime. And to say thank you," she added with a sideways glance at Kyo.
To her relief, he actually took the comment in stride. There was no awkward shift, no downwards glance. Instead, he simply nodded. "Yeah, I figured you'd want to." He'd already done that himself, and more; his stop at the bakery on the way back to the hospital had been as much a chance for him to thank them as to get Tohru a treat. If it wasn't for them, he might not have made it to the dojo in time for Hajime's birth, and he wasn't about to forget it.
His feelings there were all still a little bit raw, and he knew they would stay raw for some time. But he wasn't going to let any of Hatori's wisdom go to waste, or any of the time he had to spend with his family.
Not anymore.
"Hajime is with the pediatrician right now," she said as she started on her second melon bread. "But he should be back any time now and ready to eat."
"That makes two of you," Kyo said with a grin.
"Hey, I'm pretty sure you said these were all for me," Tohru said, sticking out her tongue over her bread. "And I'm starving. I feel like I haven't eaten in days, even though logically I know it hasn't been that long."
"Well, that breakfast was a bit of a joke," he said, nodding his head in agreement. "And you didn't get supper last night, either, so...eat all the bread you want, Tohru."
"Wow, you're so very magnanimous, letting me eat the food that you brought me," she teased.
"I didn't say you had to eat it all at once!"
"My food, my rules." She was so sweetly sincere that he burst out laughing again, and she did too. Then she looked over at him, smiling her beautiful smile. "Seriously though, Kyo, you seem...better. I'm glad that the step away did you good. Do you want to talk about it at all?"
Kyo smiled and rested his hand on the blanket over her knee, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I guess I just needed to readjust my thinking a bit. I didn't mean to make you worry about me on top of everything else. I was just..." He trailed off, then closed his mouth and smiled again. "Seriously, don't worry about me, ok? I'm good. Actually good. I talked to Hatori, and he helped me see what I needed to see. And he says hi, by the way."
Now Tohru was surprised; she doubted Kyo had spoken to Hatori even one time outside of their visits back to Toko. But clearly the talk had done him good, and she couldn't be happier. It had been hard, seeing Kyo look so downcast when he looked at her; with everything else she was struggling to manage, she desperately, selfishly needed Kyo to be happy. Seeing him smile and mean it was one of her truest joys; no matter how tired or sore or peevish she was, he could always lift her spirits.
As long as he didn't need his lifted, too.
She wasn't sure who had called whom; if Kyo had called Hatori, or Hatori had reached out to Kyo. But whoever had made the first move, she was grateful, and she said a silent prayer of thanks to Hatori as she picked up her third bun.
Kyo was watching her with undisguised amusement now, and she lowered the bun guiltily for a moment. "I'm sorry, Kyo, you brought me all of these and I haven't even offered you a bite!"
"Nah, it's all good. I had a red bean bun in the car."
She paused, staring at him with wide eyes, then looked back into her bakery bag. "You had a red bean bun and you ate it all?"
It was such an abrupt departure after her worry about not sharing that he almost choked on his laugh. "Tohru, you have six buns!"
"Yes, but they're all melon bread!"
"Because melon bread is your favorite!"
"I know, but a red bean bun would have been nice, too," she said wistfully, and Kyo cracked up even harder. She was glad to see it, even if it was at her expense, and she giggled as she bit the end off of the melon bread. "I'm allowed to want things, Kyo. I just had a baby!"
Kyo had to wipe his eyes, he was laughing so hard, but his eyes were shining as he looked at Tohru. "Well, you can want anything under the sun, Tohru, and I will do my best to get it for you today. Even if it's completely ridiculous."
"A red bean bun isn't ridiculous, Kyo, you know that. It's delicious!"
"But a seventh bun is ridiculous, Tohru. And that's ok." Still chuckling, he leaned over to kiss her, then gave her a mischievous grin right before taking a bite out of the bun. "That'th good, allight."
She swatted at him as he sat up and pulled the bun away protectively, then sighed. It was so nice to see him like this; relaxed and happy. "I'm happy you're back, Kyo," and her voice was soft. They both knew she didn't just mean back in the hospital room, and he smiled gently in return as he swallowed his stolen bite.
"Me too, Tohru."
At that moment, there was a knock at the door, and the two of them both looked up to see people standing there.
"Hello, Mrs. Sohma, is now a good time?"
Tohru nodded, putting the half-eaten bun back into the bag and passing it to Kyo. "Of course!" She shifted slightly more upright in bed, gesturing at Kyo at the same time. "Dr. Imura, this is my husband, Kyo. Kyo, this is Dr. Imura, the pediatrician."
Dr. Imura and Kyo exchanged polite bows, and Dr. Imura came into the room, along with a nurse pushing Hajime's bassinet. Dr. Imura was a brisk, smiling little man, and he got right to the point.
"Well, Mr. And Mrs. Sohma, I've checked Hajime out thoroughly, and everything looks good. He passed all his checks, and his numbers are excellent. For all that he was two weeks early, he looks to be right on target! You have a fine, healthy little boy there."
Tohru and Kyo exchanged proud smiles.
"Now, do either of you have any questions for me?"
Tohru glanced at Kyo, who shrugged his shoulders, and after a moment of thinking Tohru shook her head. "I don't...think so?" She felt a little silly, like there should be something they wanted to ask. But right now, Hajime himself was blissfully question-free.
Dr. Imura smiled. "Well, in that case I'll leave you three to it. I'll be checking on Hajime again tomorrow, and each day you're here, so if you do think of any questions, you'll have ample opportunity to ask me. In the meantime, you all have a nice day!"
The doctor breezed out as easily as he'd come in, and the nurse brought the bassinet right up to the bed.
"Alright, Mrs. Sohma, he's pretty awake and feisty for you right now! Are you ready to try nursing again?"
Kyo was surprised to see that Tohru sighed before nodding, and the nurse picked up Hajime and passed him over to Tohru, who settled back and adjusted herself against the pillows. Then the nurse stood by encouragingly as Tohru furrowed her brow and concentrated on getting Hajime properly situated.
"That looks just about perfect, Mrs. Sohma. How does it feel?"
Kyo knew Tohru a lot better than the nurse, so he wasn't fooled by Tohru's attempt to be chipper. "It's still a bit uncomfortable, actually. Do you think he's got it right, or should I just try to have him latch again?"
The nurse frowned, leaning over to check on the way Hajime was settled at Tohru's breast. "Honestly, it looks pretty great to me. It might just still be the newness of it all, but if you're really not comfortable then please go ahead and try again. Remember, this isn't supposed to be painful for you if it's done properly."
"I know. I think we'll be fine, then, thank you for your help."
"Alright, Mrs. Sohma. I'll leave you three alone, then." With a slight bow to both Tohru and Kyo, the nurse withdrew from the room and closed the door.
With her gone, Kyo finally felt comfortable enough to walk back to the bed and look. He understood from a purely intellectual point that nursing was a normal and natural thing, and that it was technically the biologically intended use of any woman's breasts, including Tohru's. But it still felt really, really weird to him, and it was even weirder when there were other people around when Tohru had her top open like that. He hoped it wouldn't take him too long to get over it, but as things currently stood he couldn't even be near Tohru when there was a nurse in the room.
But she was gone now, even if Kyo's face was still red, and he came back over to sit beside Tohru.
Hajime appeared to be working very hard, if his movements and Tohru's pained expression were anything to go on, and Kyo gave her a sympathetic smile. "Still hurts, huh?"
Tohru sighed again and nodded. She'd known Kyo wasn't fooled by that 'uncomfortable' comment, but she needed a lot more energy to pretend hard enough to fool him. "I don't understand why. It's not supposed to hurt, not if he's doing it right."
"Well, are you sure he is doing it right? The nurse said you could try to have him start again, so maybe that will help."
"Maybe," but Tohru's tone was doubtful. She still slipped a finger into Hajime's mouth, and he popped off of her breast with an angry wail of protest that made both Tohru and Kyo wince. "I know, Hajime, just give Mommy a moment, ok?"
Kyo reached out and gently stroked Hajime's head. "That's right. She's always great with food, but you have to be patient and wait for it."
Tohru gave Kyo an amused look as she resettled Hajime. "It's not quite the same thing, you know."
"Just trying to help out."
"I know." She winced again as Hajime started in again, and it was Kyo's turn to sigh this time.
"I never knew that feeding a baby was such a process, did you?"
Tohru shook her head. "No. I always figured it would happen and be easy and that would just be that. But there's a lot more to it." She sighed and flopped her head backwards against the pillows. "There's really a lot more to all of it so far than I thought there would be. I'm starting to think I've been hopelessly naïve about everything, Kyo." She glanced sideways at him, and for the first time that morning he saw her lip begin to tremble. "What if I'm not actually good at any of this?"
"Hey now." Kyo shifted on the bed, leaning close to Tohru and stroking her hair. "You're going to be great at this, all of this. There's no one who could possibly be a better mom than you, Tohru. I mean, just look at what a good job you did with Yuki!" She had to laugh at that, even through her tears, and he smiled. "We've just gotta learn, that's all. Just like Hajime is learning," as he glanced at their son.
"Hajime has a good excuse, though; he's a baby!"
"So? You're a baby mom!"
Tohru giggled again, and looked up at Kyo with loving eyes. She had no idea what Hatori had said to him, but she was so incredibly relieved, whatever they'd talked about. This is what she needed; a Kyo who could make her laugh, make her smile, and pull her up when she was feeling down. And much as she hated to admit it, she was feeling pretty down about a lot of things so far.
Nothing had gone according to plan. She was elated to have Hajime with them, but nothing in those frantic hours had been what she wanted. She had missed out on everything. Missed the excitement of going into labor, missed seeing Kyo's adorable panic. Missed having him there with her, holding her hand. Helping her breathe. She'd missed seeing his face when he saw Hajime the first time.
She'd missed Hajime's very birth, and the entire first hour of his life.
And while she was happy she and Hajime were safe, it was hard to accept that everything she'd imagined and wished didn't get to happen.
So it just felt like adding insult to injury when she'd learned how challenging nursing could be. Even at its best, she found it uncomfortable, and she'd only gotten it to be its best once. She'd tried to chalk the bad experiences up to how tired she was last night, but her frustration was only growing as the morning progressed.
At least she had Kyo.
He'd shifted to sit alongside her in the bed, and she rested her head against his shoulder as he put his arm around her. He'd been asleep for most of the night feeding attempts, but he'd seen enough total to know that Tohru wasn't too crazy about it. He wished there was something he could do to help; he couldn't help but think of Hatori's comment about how fathers had their chance to finally step up after the babies with born.
Though obviously, they could be more helpful in some ways than others.
"Do you think he's getting that much yet?"
"I don't think so, but I hope it's enough. My milk isn't in yet, and Dr. Watanabe said it's normal to take a few more days after a c-section. But hopefully there's enough to tide him over for now," Tohru said as she looked down at Hajime. "He's definitely trying his best."
"He must take after his mom, then; dunno anyone else who'd have that much of a work ethic at such a young age."
Tohru giggled again and flicked her eyes over to Kyo's teasing face. "Thank you, Kyo."
He smiled and rested his cheek against her head. "I love you, Tohru."
Tohru and Kyo were eating their lunch when there came yet another knock on the door. Kyo couldn't help but roll his eyes; even though he knew it was part of being in the hospital, knew it was important to ensure Tohru and Hajime were healthy, and knew it was all necessary, he was having a hard time coming to terms with just how often everyone and everything seemed to need to crowd into Tohru's small room.
Tohru was much more polite about it, and she lowered her chopsticks. "Come in!"
The door slid open, and a woman wearing a hospital name tag but no medical scrubs stepped hesitantly into the room. "Mrs. Tohru Sohma?"
Tohru and Kyo glanced at each other, then Tohru gave the woman an encouraging smile. "Yes, that's me. Can I help you?"
The woman smiled back. "I'm with guest services, Mrs. Sohma, and I was just wondering if now would be a good time to bring you your deliveries?"
"Deliveries?" Now Tohru was confused, and she glanced over at Kyo, who looked equally perplexed. "What deliveries?"
The woman's smile got even brighter. "Gifts, Mrs. Sohma. You've been sent some gifts, and I was wondering if now would be a good time for us to bring them to your room?"
Tohru immediately brightened herself, and she clapped her hands together. "Oh, that's so very kind! Of course, now is fine."
As the woman stepped out into the hallway, Kyo reached out and pulled Hajime's bassinet a little closer to the bed. He hated being the kind of guy who made assumptions, but at this point Tohru had a track record. If he was right, they'd need the space.
He was right.
Tohru's eyes got huge as the woman pushed a cart covered in flowers and plants into the room, followed by a second woman with another cart with more flowers and balloons. Everything was sporting a card or a tag, all of them sending love and best wishes.
The two women looked around the room, then at Tohru and Kyo. "Where would you like us to put things, Mrs. Sohma?"
With a rueful chuckle, Kyo got up and cleared off the counter as Tohru looked around the small room, trying to think of where so many things could even begin to all fit. "Umm, maybe the counter? And maybe on the floor along the far wall of the room, opposite the door? Where they aren't in as much danger of being stepped on."
With brisk efficiency, the worker were soon able to get everything put away somewhere, and after offering congratulations to Tohru and Kyo they withdrew, leaving the family to their new private greenhouse. Tohru's eyes were shining as she looked around, completely overwhelmed by just how much they'd been sent.
Kyo was shaking his head as he walked around glancing at the cards, but he was smiling. "You know, there's a lot of stuff I didn't expect about this birth thing, Tohru, but this?" As he gestured around the room, he chuckled again. "This, finally, I actually expected."
He sounded equal parts resigned and amused, and Tohru couldn't help but laugh. And when he joined in, their laughter seamlessly blended together, filling the room even more fully than the plants.