Tohru was just finishing with her makeup when she heard Hajime start fussing. Quickly finishing, she zipped up her makeup case and crossed the hall to their room. "Hi there, Hajime; you had such a good nap today, didn't you? You must have been so sleepy after such a busy morning!"
Since Hajime had skipped his morning nap while on the train, she was relieved that he'd slept so long this afternoon. Normally he was a cheerful little boy, but he could be a beast when he was overtired! And since she was leaving Kyo to manage the rest of the day without her, the last thing she wanted was for him to have to deal with a grumpy Hajime.
Tohru's arrival had made Hajime break off his cries to start happily babbling, and she was smiling as she lifted him up. "And I see you're so happy after your nap, too! But I bet you could use a clean diaper and a bottle; would you like a clean diaper and a bottle, Hajime? We'll get you a clean diaper right now, then go get you a bottle. And Daddy should be back any time now, too; are you ready to see Daddy again?"
With a practiced hand, Tohru got Hajime out of his sleeper and into a clean diaper, then slipped him back into his onesie and pants before heading downstairs to the kitchen. Kazuma's class should be finished now, so Kyo was likely getting showered and changed before heading back to the house. Then she could pass Hajime off to him, and it would be just about time for her to go!
"Ok, Hajime, let's get you a bottle! But you have to promise not to spit on Mommy, ok? It wouldn't be nice to spit on Mommy."
"Nobody had ever better be spitting on Mommy in here."
"Welcome back, Kyo!" Tohru called over her shoulder, smiling at her husband's voice. Then she turned, and let out a happy little squeal of excitement. "Hatsuharu, hello! I didn't know you were going to be here today!"
Hatsuharu gave Tohru a smile, his amused eyes taking in the juxtaposition of her clubbing dress, makeup, baby, and the bottle in her hand. "If this is you when you're not expecting me, Honda, then clearly I need to surprise you more often."
Tohru blushed, and Kyo gave Haru a Look as he took Hajime and the bottle away from Tohru. But Tohru was still smiling, and she moved over to give Haru a hug. "Well, it's nice to see you! I wish I could stay and talk more, but I'm actually just about to go out. It's Hanajima's bachelorette party tonight," she added cheerfully.
"Ah, that explains the clothes, then. It looks nice, Honda; you look good."
At the compliment, Tohru's eyes flicked to Kyo, then down to the floor. She knew from the way he was looking at her that he agreed with Haru, but right now it was easy. Right now, she was covered.
It was much easier to focus on Hatsuharu. "You're sweet, Hatsuharu. But I should be the one complimenting you! We saw you on a billboard by the train station today, I still can't believe how impressive you look!"
Haru laughed, crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall. "It's pretty wild, isn't it? I coulda done without that one, though; having it so close to the Estate makes it seem like I'm trying to flaunt it."
After years of people saying that the Sohmas looked like models, it was probably fitting that one of them had actually ended up being a model. Haru's path had been a little non-traditional, but since nothing else in his life had been all that orthodox, it was fitting his career path hadn't been, either.
It had all started when Rin had started her part-time job as a retail associate at an independent alternative fashion store the year Tohru and Kyo finished high school. In spite of her...less than warm sales persona, she had excelled at the job, with customers seeking her out for her sense of style and her no-nonsense constructive criticism. The store had loved her, and she'd been encouraged to come on full-time. That was also when the store first approached Rin about doing some modeling for their promotional materials.
Rin's images had graced the front windows of the store and some promotional mailers they'd sent out; her bewitching beauty helped draw in even more business. She was like a mini-celebrity, with people coming into the store just to find and take their picture with her.
Eventually, though, she'd gotten a bit fed-up with her fanbase. Few people could hold their own as well as Rin, but dealing with so many admirers was...tiring. Especially the ones who thought they could get fresh.
The store hadn't wanted to lose their star attraction, but they didn't want her to walk off on them, either. So Rin had shifted away from the 'on the floor' face of the store and into promotion and marketing herself, bringing her edgy art style to the fore in a series of graffiti-inspired ad campaigns. Instead of it being full-body photos, it was just bits and pieces; her eyes, her hair. Cuts and glimpses of clothing alongside boldly graphic abstract designs.
And it wasn't just her.
As Rin's celebrity in the store had grown, Haru had started to spend more and more time around as well. Her bosses hadn't been thrilled, but they weren't going to make waves by telling either of them that Haru was unwelcome when Rin was fending off harassment with a stick. And as things worked out, Haru started to become a customer favorite in his own right, while the two of them had become a 'ship,' whatever that was.
When the store had signed off on Rin including Haru in the ad campaign, Rin and Haru had gone to town. Bits and pieces of Rin, bits and pieces of Haru, bits and pieces of both of them together...
Their demographic ate up the new campaign, and business exploded. Suddenly bigger companies were taking a look at the little indie clothing store, trying to figure out the cause of their success. And they found Rin and Haru.
Suddenly the two of them were a hot commodity, both courting offers from numerous other companies. Their edgy beauty and sharp design sense were The Thing, and everyone wanted them. It had been a bit ludicrous to both Haru and Rin, but after taking a while to sit and think on it, they decided why not? They were young, they were hot, they could take care of themselves. Why not ride the wave while they had it, have some fun, and make some money?
Much to the store's dismay, Rin took a new job as the chief creative for an alternative fashion label's marketing department. She'd liked modeling well enough, but her true passion was creating art, not being art. She didn't want the spotlight, not like that.
But Haru was happy to own it, snapped up by a top Tokyo-based modeling company and rapidly finding himself gracing ads and billboards across Japan. His cool demeanor and striking looks meant that he always stood out, and 'Haru' was now a household name among the young and fashionable.
It had been surreal, the first time Tohru had seen Haru's picture while leafing through a magazine in the Hibe grocery store. It was still weird now! But standing in Kazuma's kitchen, seeing him smile, and hearing him call her 'Honda' like he always had...he was still the same Hatsuharu.
Haru was there because in spite of everything that had changed, he still attended karate classes at the dojo. He'd been happy to see Kyo, and since he didn't have anything he needed to do that afternoon he'd decided to tag along with Kyo, see Tohru, and finally meet the baby.
Haru pushed away from the wall and walked over to Kyo, peering curiously at Hajime who was now happily drinking his bottle. "So, this is Hajime." He cocked his head, looking down at the baby, who was looking curiously up at Haru's white hair. "I've gotta say, it still seems weird for you to have a kid, Kyo. You've obviously got the knack for it," he said, gesturing to the bottle, "And he sure as hell belongs to you, but it still seems...weird."
Kyo chuckled, not the least bit surprised or offended by Haru's stark assessment. "Considering what was normal for us for so long, I think a little weird is a good thing now, Haru."
"Point." Haru put his hands in his pockets and kept watching Hajime. "And it's not like it's a bad weird, or anything. He's cute." Looking over at Tohru, he gave her a little wink. "Must get it from his mom."
Tohru blushed and looked down again. Why was it so hard to just appreciate compliments and act natural?
Kyo chuckled again, in full agreement with Haru. "Yeah, any cuteness definitely comes from Tohru. One person in this relationship is cute, and it's sure as hell not me."
Tohru's head snapped up and she shook her blushing head at Kyo. "Not true! You are definitely the cutest one, Kyo, aside of Hajime himself. You look so much alike, after all," she said with a fond smile at their son.
"You heard her, Kyo, you're officially cute. Guess you and I are both corrected," Haru said with a sage nod of his head as he looked at his cousin. "I guess I can see it..."
Kyo only rolled his eyes. Even if he didn't agree with being 'cute,' he could appreciate Tohru's intentions. "What time did you need to head out, Tohru?"
She glanced at the kitchen clock. "I should actually get going now, to make sure I don't miss my connection. I just need to run upstairs and get my shoes and purse..." she dashed off, her footsteps light overhead as she ran down the hall and just as quickly came back to the kitchen, shoes in her arms.
"Ok. Hajime slept for your whole class, and he only just woke up, so he should be awake for a while. He just had a dirty diaper, but he's clean and should also be good there for a while. The diaper bag is in our room when you need it, and I put the monitor back up there when I got him up. The sleeper is in the bassinet."
She rapidly ran over the list of relevant Hajime info, trying to figure out if there was anything she was forgetting. While she had supreme confidence in Kyo and his ability to take care of Hajime, today was the first time Tohru would be away from him for more than couple of hours, and it was a little nerve-wracking.
Fortunately, Kyo completely understood. "That all sounds good, Tohru, but don't worry about it. I'll find everything, Hajime and I will manage just fine."
"And I'll help," Haru added cheerfully.
Both Tohru and Kyo stared at him for a second, then both of them cracked up. Even though they all knew Haru had next to no experience with babies, his confidence was oddly encouraging, and it helped erase any guilt Tohru might feel about leaving Kyo to manage alone.
"Alright, so you'll all be fine," Tohru said, dabbing at her eyes as she finished laughing. "And I'll be back later tonight, probably after midnight. Uo-chan is going to see me all the way back to the dojo, so you won't have to worry."
Kyo might not often see eye to eye with the former Arisa Uotani, but he would trust Tohru's safety to her in a heartbeat. He trusted Tohru implicitly and had zero qualms with her going to the bachelorette party, but he'd never been keen on the idea of her getting back to the dojo alone.
Which is why he miiiiiight have suggested to Uotani that she make damn sure Tohru made it back safely.
"You have a great time, Tohru. Have fun. Cut loose, within reason," Kyo said teasingly, then leaned over to give Tohru a kiss. It was shorter than he'd have liked, but he still smiled at her as she pulled away. "You look amazing, really. I hope you have fun."
Tohru gave Kyo a little smile, then with a last "Good-bye!" to Hajime, she was on her way.
Kyo sighed as the door closed, then he looked down at Hajime. "Ok, Hajime, guess it's just you and me. And Haru," he added, with a sideways glance at his cousin.
But Haru was looking thoughtfully after Tohru. "What was up with that, Kyo?"
Hajime finished his bottle, and Kyo took the empty bottle to set on the counter before lifting Hajime up to burp. "What was up with what?" He'd long since given up on ignoring Haru and expecting him to go away; much as he might wish it was that easy, it never was.
"Honda. You. That was weird."
Kyo stared at Haru for a long minute, then sighed and jerked his head to the living room. "Let's go sit down. Hajime's gonna get grumpy if he doesn't get to start rolling around soon."
In the living room, Kyo laid out a blanket on the floor and plopped Hajime down. Hajime was delighted, almost immediately rolling from his tummy to his back and grabbing his toes.
Haru and Kyo sat down on either side of Hajime, and at first the two both watched the baby.
"He's sure athletic, considering how young he is," Haru commented.
Kyo smiled, watching as Hajime rocked back and forth, happily babbling. "Yeah, he's a mover. He spent pretty much the entire trip here today yelling because we wouldn't let him roll around on the train." And Kyo had honestly been tempted to just give in and let him; even though no one had actually said anything about Hajime's screaming fits, he'd seen enough people look over at them that Kyo had spent almost the entire trip blushing. Nothing else they'd tried had worked, not even letting him have free reign over their seats.
And in two days, they'd get to do it all over again. Kyo was positively thrilled.
Not.
But Haru wasn't distracted long, and he looked away from the baby and back to Kyo. "So, what was with Honda? Why's she acting weird?"
Kyo was immediately defensive. "She's not acting weird, Haru, you don't even know what you're saying."
"No?" Haru leaned back on his hands, studying Kyo in his dispassionate way. "I know I haven't seen you guys since New Year's, but I know weird when I see it, and that was weird for Honda. I don't know if I've ever seen her jump away from you that fast, no since she was still afraid of you turning into a cat."
Haru could be annoyingly on-point sometimes, and once he got on an idea it was nearly impossible to turn him from it, short of actually punching him. At the moment, Kyo was certainly tempted; he hardly appreciated the reference to his days under the Curse.
But he could hardly fault Haru for the rest of it. Not when Kyo felt the same way himself.
He sighed, looking back down at Hajime. "Tohru's got a lot of stuff going on," he said finally. The last thing he wanted to do was break Tohru's confidence; it had been hard enough for her to deal with all the crap that birth and the postpartum period had thrown at her without her feeling that everyone else knew and was judging her. Even though he doubted it was even possible for anyone to judge Tohru, he knew she'd feel differently.
For the most part, they'd kept everything on a need-to-know basis. People knew that Tohru had had to have a c-section; very few knew that Kyo had almost missed it. People knew, or could see, that Hajime drank formula; very few people knew specifically why. Almost no one knew about Tohru's postpartum depression, or the fact she was seeing a therapist; as far as Kyo knew, she hadn't even told that one to Hanajima and Uotani.
And he wasn't about to go into all of that with Haru, even if pushed. But he could acknowledge the weirdness, because it was weird. And he hated it. All of it.
"Hmm." Haru propped his chin on his fist, looking down at Hajime. "Baby stuff?"
Kyo nodded. "Baby-related stuff. It's been...hard. A lot of stuff. And it's definitely been harder on Tohru," he said, reaching over to turn Hajime over so he could roll some more.
"So does she not let you touch her at all?"
Kyo's head turned to look at Haru so quickly that it almost gave him whiplash. "Geez, Haru, what the hell?"
Haru shrugged. "Just wondering. You two have always been all over each other; even at New Year's, you always had at least a hand on her when you were near her. But I just saw her in a cute, sexy dress and you were like...a monk. I know you had the baby to juggle, but you coulda hugged her. Told her how hot she looked. Something. And she kept looking away when you were looking at her, and when you kissed her goodbye it was like...a peck. Barely a peck. That dress deserved a hell of a lot more than a peck," Haru said sagely. "And she shot away from you like you were on fire."
Kyo hated how perceptive Haru could be. Normally he was on the denser side of things, but there were few who could be so annoyingly accurate when it came to anything sexual; Kyo could tell that he himself was blushing crimson without even needing a mirror.
He didn't want to talk about this. It felt disrespectful to Tohru, and he hated the very idea. But Haru was looking at him so very sympathetically, and he'd been so very accurate in his points...
Kyo turned his attention back to Hajime, and for a long time, he was silent. Then, finally, he said "I can hug her, and she's ok with little kisses like that, but that's it."
Haru let out a low whistle. "For how long?"
Kyo sighed, hating to even think about it. "Since just before Hajime was born."
Haru's eyebrows shot up so high they disappeared into his hair. "Nothing? At all?"
"Nope."
"Damn." Haru shook his head. "No wonder she's all jumpy, then, it's like you two are a pair of high school virgins all over again."
Kyo shot Haru a glare, but he couldn't argue with the fact Haru was right. Kyo hadn't felt this awkward around Tohru since they'd first started dating; just like then, he was worried about rushing her, worried about making her uncomfortable. Except this time, it was even worse, because he knew what they were missing, and he had no idea how long to expect it to last. Back then, Tohru had been every bit as eager as him, albeit also just as nervous. These days...
He'd almost swear she'd lost interest in him, and that hurt. She seemed to go out of her way to avoid him, or situations that would formerly have led to romance. He couldn't kiss her without her pulling away, couldn't even compliment her without her getting uncomfortable.
It sucked.
"So she doesn't let you touch her, does she try to touch you, at least?"
"Well, she's-" Kyo broke off, scowling over at Haru. "Don't even ask that Haru, jeez! Have some damn respect." How was it that his cousin could always worm information out of him?
Haru shrugged again, then leaned back on his arms once again. "Do you know why?"
Kyo sighed again. "Specifically? No. But like I said, she's been dealing with some stuff." And he wasn't about to add to her load.
"Is it stuff you can help with?"
"As much as I can, yeah." He was certainly doing his best, though there was only so much he could do.
Haru looked at Kyo thoughtfully. "Have you just tried pouncing her?"
"I am NOT going to attack my wife, Haru." Now Kyo was actually scowling at his cousin, his eyes glowing dangerously.
Haru held up his hands defensively. "Ok, maybe that was a bad way to phrase it. But like...you said she's dealing with stuff, right? Knowing Honda, I'm guess that means in her head?"
Kyo didn't confirm it, but he didn't deny it, either, and that was enough for Haru.
"So, at New Year's, you said she was dealing with body image stuff and feeling sensitive. Do you think maybe that's what's happening again? I've never seen a woman who's had a baby naked before, but I know things change up some."
Again, Kyo was silent, but his brow was furrowed in thought. He'd been assuming that Tohru was still dealing with...everything else that she was dealing with. She'd been so anxious, the last thing he'd wanted to do was add another thing to her plate to worry about. But if Haru was right...was that it? Was she actually worried about him?
And that was where Haru was going, too. "So not actually pouncing her, not literally, but like...have you been making sure to tell her she's hot? Being direct? She looked damn sexy in that dress tonight, and you didn't make a peep. If I was her and my self-esteem was hurting, that would have sucked."
"Not helping, Haru."
"Hey, I am trying to help you, Kyo. I can't imagine how blue your balls must be after almost four months."
"Not helping!"
Haru sighed. Kyo could be as prickly as a cactus sometimes, but Haru couldn't blame him just then. "I dunno, Kyo. I can't say I've ever been in your situation, so I can't really relate. But maybe you should try being a bit more...aggressively affectionate. Remind her she's hot. Remind her you want her. Maybe she's not ready, maybe she is, but you'll never know if you don't put yourself out there and try, right?"
Kyo wasn't expecting Tohru to be back until late, and she still wasn't back when he got up with Hajime shortly before one that morning. Once Hajime was fed, changed, and settled back into his bassinet, Kyo slipped back into their futon and closed his eyes. But it was hard to sleep, alone.
He was trying to get comfortable when he heard the light sound of footsteps on the stairs, and he was instantly alert. As he listened, the footsteps came softly down the hallway, then stopped outside their room. No, not their room, he corrected himself, the bathroom across the hall; he could hear the door closing, even through the door to their room.
It had to be Tohru, and he let out a quiet sigh of relief. Even though he knew they were being safe, he still kind of hated having her out and about in the city at night.
That, and it would be a lot easier for him to fall asleep with her there.
He was just shifting over on the futon to make her more room when he paused, his ears perking up. Then he groaned, lying back against the pillow. Even through two doors, he knew that sound far too well.
"Tohru, what's wrong?"
Kyo's voice was gentle, but so unexpected that Tohru still jumped. It was late, closer to two than one in the morning, and everyone ought to have been asleep. Hajime had been quiet, and she'd assumed that meant everyone else was asleep, too.
Maybe that's why she hadn't been more careful, because she thought no one would be awake to hear her cry.
The bachelorette party had been wild, but fun. Uo-chan had been in charge, and she'd planned a night perfect for Hana-chan: one filled with lots of food. They'd ended up doing a restaurant and bar crawl, karaoke, and finally finished the night at a dance club. Tohru had felt out of her element, but it was so much fun to be out with her friends that she hadn't even minded. It had been ages since she, Hana, and Uo had been able to go out and have fun together.
Not that Tohru actually cut loose all that much; her very few forays into drinking had gone poorly enough that she never imbibed any more unless she was going to be staying home. But she'd definitely eaten more than she was used to and had a lot more sugar, so when it was time for the later parts of the night she'd been keyed up and ready to go.
At the end of the night, after they'd said good-bye to Hana-chan's work friends and her friends from the shojo manga club, it had been just the three of them making their way back to the dojo. Hana-chan hadn't wanted to let Uo-chan have all the fun of walking Tohru home alone, so she'd decided to come along, too. And the three of them had had fun, reminiscing about their middle school days, and their high school days, Kyoko, and how excited she would have been to see the last of the three get married.
Hana-chan had been amused, pointing out that she felt like Tohru must have in high school, walking along with a pair of Sohmas. Tohru and Arisa, both Sohmas by marriage, had laughed. And they'd talked about those Sohmas, along with Lorenzo; how happy they all were, to be where they were now. How lucky they were.
And Tohru knew she was lucky. She had Kyo, the sweetest, kindest, smartest, most considerate man alive, who also happened to be the single most attractive man alive. She'd firmly resisted getting into a spousal comparison contest with her friends; while both Kureno and Lorenzo were handsome enough, neither could hold a candle to Kyo. But when it came to Tohru and her three friends, she felt more of a distant third than ever before.
Hana-chan and Uo-chan had walked her to the dojo gate, and Tohru had let herself in through the small side-door with her key. Then she'd stolen across the courtyard, into the house, and upstairs to the bathroom.
Considering how long they'd been out and how physical she'd been, Tohru actually thought she still looked pretty good. She scrubbed the makeup off her face and brushed her hair, then sighed. Time to take off the purple dress, and for Cinderella to turn back into a pumpkin.
The dress itself came off easily enough, followed by her slip, then her nylons. Finally, she reached around behind herself and unhooked the bra, the padded cups falling away and leaving everything to just...droop.
Tohru looked sadly at the woman in the mirror, standing before her in only her panties. She was only twenty-three, but she felt the body looking back seemed so much older. So many wrinkles and marks, so many sags and bags...it was like it belonged to a stranger, not Tohru herself. She knew she needed to get used to it; while the colors would fade, her scar would become less noticeable and her stretch marks would turn from purple to silver, they would still be there. Her breasts might never go back to how they'd been, and neither might her stomach. This was her now, and it might always be her.
Tohru couldn't help but cry as she thought about how incredibly unfair it all was. She'd gone through so much to have Hajime, and she'd never regret him, not for a moment. But to take away her body on top of everything else just seemed colossally unfair. Kyo was as perfect as ever, and she was a saggy, marked up lump.
She was standing over the sink, her face in her hands and her tears slipping through her fingers when she heard Kyo's soft voice, and she practically jumped out of her skin. Immediately she felt guilty; had she been crying so loudly she'd woken him up? Had she woken up Hajime, too?
Frantically, she wiped at her eyes and tried to steady her voice. "I'm ok, Kyo, it's ok. Did I wake you? I'm sorry."
His voice came through the door, the same low, gentle tone. "No, I was already awake. Hajime was up just before you got back, and I hadn't fallen asleep yet." He paused. "Tohru, can I come in?"
"No, I'm ok! It's all fine, you can go back to bed, Kyo. I'll be there in just a minute." Her voice was still shaky, though, and she wasn't surprised when Kyo didn't move. "I just need a minute."
Kyo was silent again, then his voice came again, wavering and hesitant. "Please, Tohru?"
She closed her eyes. She hated the thought of him seeing her like this. She'd been hating it and worrying about it for weeks. But she also hated hearing him like that, knowing he was worrying about her. Knowing he had so many good reasons to worry, that she'd done but make him worry ever since the day Hajime was born.
She took a long, quavering breath, then sighed. "Come in, Kyo," as she dropped her hands from her face to hug them against her chest.
The door slid open, and Kyo very tentatively stuck his head into the bathroom. Whatever he'd expected to see, it wasn't Tohru almost naked, half-turned away and with eyes full of tears.
He was completely and utterly lost.
His first instinct was to hug her, and he immediately stepped towards her. But she jerked away, and he froze, immediately contrite. She hadn't wanted him to come in at all; he needed to remember that and give her space.
But he also needed to help her, somehow.
"Tohru, what's wrong?"
His voice was full of concern, and so was his face. The amber-red eyes that were looking at her were worried. But that was all. He'd just come from bed, and he looked the same way he always did: beautifully rumpled, gloriously bare chested. Kyo hadn't worn a shirt to sleep in for years, not since they'd started dating, and every inch of skin and muscle was on display. She'd always had a weakness for Kyo's bare torso, one he'd always been shameless to exploit. But she knew, looking at him now, that his shirtless state probably didn't even register.
There would have been a time when him finding her like this, with him looking like that, would have been like a match meeting gasoline. They would have been all over each other without even thinking. And now he was looking at her...worried. Worried, and nothing else.
Tohru couldn't stop the tears, and she couldn't even cover her face without exposing her chest. She wanted to turn away, but that would only open her back up to the accusatory mirror, and Kyo would still be able to see everything anyway.
This time, she didn't jerk away when Kyo came up to hug her, allowing herself to be drawn into his warm embrace. She couldn't even remember the last time they'd been like this, her skin against his, breathing in his warm, musky scent. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and cling to him, holding him close and never letting him go.
But he was only looking at her with pity and concern.
"Tohru, you know you can tell me anything. We've gotten through everything so far, and we'll get through this, whatever it is. I promise." Kyo had rested his cheek on the top of her head, and she could feel his breath against her hair as he spoke. It was gentle, just like his words. Gentle, and full of concern.
Tohru felt so utterly defeated in that moment. Was this what she had come to? Naked and embarrassed, simultaneously too afraid and too proud to actually talk to her own husband? The one person in the entire world who was most fully in her corner?
Tohru sniffled, then took a deep breath. Her voice was quivery, but audible, and that was enough. "Kyo...are you ashamed of me?"
The question was so unexpected that Kyo didn't even know where to begin, drawing back and looking down at her tear-covered face in abject confusion. "Ashamed of you? Of course not, Tohru, why would I ever be ashamed of you?" His voice was so incredulous that it almost made Tohru want to laugh, but that could only mean he didn't understand.
And she sniffled again, lowering her eyes so she didn't have to meet his gaze when she spelled it out. "Because...I look like this, now, Kyo!" The tears were threatening to overwhelm her again, and she had talk faster to get everything out without losing her nerve or her ability to talk. "You're still so beautiful and perfect, and I'm...wrinkly...and saggy...and I have scars...and marks!"
Kyo's mind was reeling, and he didn't know what to think, other than to latch onto the blindingly inappropriate fact that Haru had been right. Tohru was worried about him. She was in the bathroom at 2am crying because of him.
Tohru was still looking away, so she didn't see the way Kyo's jaw suddenly set. But she did feel when his hands came to her cheeks and turned her face to his, and his mouth was suddenly on hers in a kiss charged with four months of denial and need. It was so unexpected that Tohru almost fell over, but he caught her, pulling her up and holding her against him.
When they finally broke apart, Tohru felt a thrill race right through her at the sight of Kyo's eyes, dark and intense. Worry was gone, replaced by something completely different.
One of Kyo's hands was still cupping her cheek, while the other rested down at her waist. And his voice was still soft, but husky when he finally spoke. "I've never been ashamed of you, Tohru, and I never will be, either. You are still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and I'll never stop wanting you. Never. If you think you can scare me off just because you had a baby, you are dead wrong."
She was so relieved she almost started crying again. "Really, Kyo? You haven't been...disgusted by me?"
Anger flared briefly in Kyo's eyes, and they narrowed to look at her. "You really think I'm that kind of guy, Tohru?"
No, he wasn't. He never had been, why would she have thought he would be now?
"No...you're right." Her face lit up, her eyes lifting up in awed amazement. "You're right!"
"Damn right I'm right." Then Kyo was kissing her again, and this time hoisting her into the air and backing out of the bathroom. Tohru yelped as they stepped into the hall.
"Kyo, my clothes-"
"Don't need 'em." And the way he said it sent another thrill down Tohru's spine.
Kyo paused for a moment outside of their room, one hand on the door. Then he rapidly strode down the hall to the room beyond theirs, opening the door and carrying her inside. "There'll be a futon in the closet."
"Kyo, Hajime-"
"Is right next door and will be fine."
"Master Kazuma-"
"Is at the other end of the hall and can sleep through a typhoon."
Tohru didn't have any other arguments.
Kyo awoke to the sound of Hajime crying. He yawned, frowning as he looked around the room for Hajime without seeing him. Then he smiled, realizing where he was.
Tohru had started to shift, but he shushed her. "I've got it, Tohru, go back to sleep." She made an approving murmur and snuggled back into the blankets, bringing another smile to Kyo's lips as he got up and quickly slipped back into his boxers and pants.
"Hey, Hajime. Did you have a good sleep? Guess it's time for another bottle with Daddy, hmm?" A quick glance at his phone said it was 5:15; almost time for Kyo to be waking up, anyway. "I guess you're my alarm clock today."
He quickly changed Hajime's diaper, then scooped him back up, along with Tohru's nightgown. Nightgown in hand, he returned to Tohru and gently set it down beside the futon before heading downstairs with Hajime.
Kazuma was sitting at the living room table when Kyo came downstairs, drinking a cup of tea and reading the newspaper. Kyo wasn't surprised; he'd picked up his own early rising habits from his father. The only surprising part was that Kazuma was still in the house, not already out in the dojo. "Morning, Dad."
"Good morning, Kyo. And good morning, Hajime," Kazuma said with a smile, looking over at the two of them. "Is he awake for the day, or just hungry?"
"Should be just hungry," Kyo said, taking Hajime into the kitchen to mix up a bottle. "I'll put him back to bed after he'd done, and he'll hopefully sleep until it's time for Tohru to wake up. I'm gonna head out for a run after I've got him back to sleep."
Kazuma nodded, taking a long sip of his tea. "Did you see Tohru after she got in last night?"
Kyo was facing the sink with his back to Kazuma while he mixed up the bottle, so Kazuma couldn't see the giant grin spread across Kyo's face. But he kept his voice neutral as he responded "Yeah, but it was pretty late."
"Did she have a good time?"
It was even harder to sound normal. "Yeah, she did. A really good time."
"Well, good."
"Yeah, I'm glad she had fun." Kyo took a deep breath and schooled his face as he finished shaking up the bottle and turned to face Kazuma, who was smiling at him in his usual placid way.
"Actually, Kyo, why don't you let me feed Hajime? You can go upstairs and get dressed for your run, then you'll just need to put him down before you head out."
"Really? If you don't mind, that would be great."
"Of course I don't mind, I'm always happy to help." Kazuma smiled as he took Hajime, and his eyes were bright as he looked at Kyo. "We'll just be right here."
"Thanks." Happy for the chance to have a few extra minutes to himself, Kyo hurried back up the stairs to grab his workout clothes. He just needed to use the bathroom really quickly, first.
Kyo flicked on the bathroom light switch and was greeted, as always, by the sight of his own reflection in the bathroom mirror. And in the mirror, he could see, quite clearly, the red marks from Tohru's thumb nails on his bare rib cage and shoulders. His eyes widened, and he turned slightly, seeing marked out with equal clarity each of her finger nails on his back and the backs of his shoulders.
There was absolutely no way Kazuma hadn't seen them.
For a moment he stared, incredulous, at his reflection. Then a low, slow chuckle turned into rapidly into deep, rolling laughter.
Downstairs, Kazuma heard the laughter and chuckled, looking at Hajime. "I think he might have figured it out."