Days passed and the pain in her heart receded. Loki hadn't been to see her but it was because he had listened to her words unlike Thor. Sif had tried to get her for a spar but her head and heart were in no condition to do so. Tove noticed a shift in her daughter and thankfully, Egil had been out of the house the last few days. He wouldn't have allowed Astrid to wallow or to be away from Thor but Tove knew Egil wanted Astrid to marry a man like him, one without or little magic. However, it was clear to her that her daughter was drawn to magic and that her lover would be of a magical sort. Astrid was upset not because she may have loved Thor over Loki, but the fact Thor broke his promise and felt like she had betrayed Loki, the man she loves. It was clear to Astrid who she wanted but she was still unsure how Loki felt about her after recent events.

"You know what you want so you best not torture yourself and Loki any longer." Tove stated they wrapped up their magic lesson.

Astrid seemed a bit taken aback at her mother's statement and Tove nodded.

"You're not torn between the princes at all and from what you shared with me, it's clear whose kiss you long for and who your deepest connection is with." Tove added.

Astrid sighed and in some ways, a bit angered at her mother.

"Did you not feel that deep connection with Egil when you married him and rather you felt that with Frode?"

Tove's face fell and she looked towards her daughter. Of course Thyra would have shared that with her since it was Astrid's true history. Thyra was forceful but Tove couldn't blame her for doing what she requested, giving Astrid the background she needed. Looking at her daughter, Tove cracked a very weak smile since Astrid was a lot like Frode and her combined. It made Tove sad that she and Astrid were robbed of a life they deserved and Tove lived with those regrets everyday.

"You've known for how long?" Tove asked.

"A couple of weeks formally, but since I saw what Frode looked like several weeks in my time in Vanaheim...it was hard to ignore. Aunt Thyra showed me the memory mother, the one where you told her you were pregnant. It was clear from the stories you loved Frode and not Egil. My only questions are why did you marry Egil if you knew you loved Frode and why didn't you just leave Egil before you started relations with Frode." Astrid asked.

Tove sighed. She had been asking herself that ever since the day she married Egil. There would be times she did love him but in longer stretches of time, she would be miserable. How could she have gone from barely liking him from their time in war to falling for him. Tove loved magic and Egil was the last man she thought she would fall for. Whatever Egil did and charms he had, had won her heart in that instance in their lives. Still her feelings for Egil were dwarfed by the love she had for Frode once they had met one another. It was a mistake, one Tove wished she could redo in her moments of clarity and reflection when Egil went away.

"I honestly don't know Astrid. As I got to know Frode before my wedding, I was having doubts; really gut-wrenching doubts. Yet as soon as I had them, they went away and I felt I needed to remain and be with Egil. Honestly I don't even know or recall what made me love him. We barely had anything in common but he was always working hard to overcompensate his short-comings. Egil had his moments when he was trying for my hand and yet it seems like he sees me as nothing more than a prize he'd won. Truth be told...as we still speak I don't know why I love Egil yet there's something in me that does and can't leave him. It's the same light feeling of love, commitment, and duty I guess that made me still marry him even though my heart and love yearned for Frode. The clearest moments of my life when I knew Frode was really my soulmate was when Egil left me weeks at a time. He and I could never conceive a child and that upset Egil. I blamed him for not having children since...well when I first laid with Frode, there you were. When I was pregnant with you, I had a way out with Frode to have a family with him and leave Egil….but his death trapped me and Egil always hated that I had you. The only grace he saw was that you were a girl and that meant trying to court you to Thor someday. He figured he would be your father figure so you could be Queen, something he could take ownership of and not Frode."

Astrid wondered why her mother even liked Egil, he wasn't pleasant and it confirmed what she thought about him. Egil hated her and faked his love in the early years to gain trust, trust that was long broken and destroyed. Of course he would want her hand to be with Thor's since he was the first born son and was a warrior. She lingered on the story and it was clear to Astrid what Tove was trying to come across.

"You know about me and Loki?"

Tove chuckled lightly.

"Frigga and I talk about you both. Loki confides in his mother like you do me and honestly, I love when you two are together. I had given Frigga my blessing for Loki to court you since I see a lot of what I adored in Frode in Loki. He's a suitable man for you and his magic is very powerful. I had my wants like Egil, but unlike him I wanted you to choose for yourself."

Astrid appreciated that her mother didn't try to force her to Loki and instead her attraction to him was natural. Truth be told, Astrid was always drawn to Loki and their love of magic brought them close. He was different but his differences is what made Astrid like him. He wasn't a warrior like Thor, but that was for the best. Even though she asked Loki to stay away, she hated to do that. Once the pain and anger for Thor died down and she kind of mentally forgave him, all she could think about was Loki. There wasn't a doubt in Astrid's mind who she loved and Astrid needed to tell Loki she loved him. He should never doubt her love and it would put his mind at ease knowing no matter what Thor does, he won't win her heart.

"Did we leave Vanaheim because it would be clear you cheated on Egil?"

"Yes but Egil did it for himself and not for my honor. He didn't want people to look down that he couldn't satisfy me or bear me a child. I honestly would have tried leaving him but again, something connects me to Egil. Things happen for a reason and now you know what you must do."

Astrid tilted her head and Tove sighed.

"Don't be like me Astrid and don't settle for someone for anything. I remained with Egil because of a duty and that I owed him. There might have been some love, but it pales in comparison to Frode's love and I should have run off with him instead of marrying Egil. I was weak but you aren't Astrid. Trust your heart, let that be your guide since it will not lead you astray. Who do you love Astrid?"

"Loki." Astrid responded with warmth and instantly.

Tove smiled softly and gave her daughter a hug. Astrid felt good that her mother at least supported her and was being truthful. It pained her that her mother was unhappy but she didn't want Astrid to suffer like she did.

Tove let go of her daughter and stroked her cheek in a motherly way.

"Go to him and don't live with any regrets. You might need to work hard to maintain the relationship but do not let anyone dictate your love." Tove encouraged.

Astrid nodded and decided the best place to go was the pond area near the palace, where she and Loki had that picnic. It was one of their favorite spots and he might go there to think. She knew what she wanted to do, she just hoped he felt the same way. It became clear to her that it didn't matter what anyone else wanted but what she wanted. She would not make her mother's mistake. She shifted into a black cat and waited in the pond garden. She was a bit nervous as she pawed at the water, hoping Loki would come.

Loki decided to go to the spot his mother made so he could think. Aside from the library or his chambers it is the place he felt most comfortable in. Loki missed Astrid and being away from her truly hurt him. He couldn't go to her and he worried about her. Thor complicated things and he hoped Astrid would want him soon. He arrived there fast enough and noticed a cat playing by the water. Loki looked carefully since the cat was very familiar looking. Loki went to the cat and stroked its fur. The cat looked back at Loki and it had a familiar pair of amber eyes. Loki cracked a light smile since they had the same idea to come here and it might mean she's ready for him. Astrid could change the eye color when as a cat, but he knew she did it so he can tell it was her.

" Astrid?" Loki asked just to be sure.

Astrid looked at Loki and shifted back to normal self. She went to sit under the tree and motioned Loki to sit beside her.

"We need to talk." Loki was confused and slightly on edge. He wondered if this would be a good talk or a bad talk. He went to join Astrid.

"Thank you for listening to me. It was hard to be away from you Loki but I hope you understand why I needed this time apart."

Loki took Astrid's hand and nodded. It was very quiet this time of day and not many people went by here at this time. He was thankful for that since he just wanted to lay near Astrid without judgement. She sighed and continued to speak to him.

"I know you've been a bit angry at me for Thor kissing me. This isn't what I wanted. A part of me hoped it would never happen, but it did and it did confuse me and hurt me."

Loki sighed since Astrid bringing it up upset him. He was not angry with Astrid, but with Thor.

" I'm not angry with you, I wasn't thrilled, but I was not surprised that Thor would kiss you… I also know you may not have wanted him to do it. You blasting his ass back with magic clearly tells me you didn't like it." Loki said softly

Astrid managed to crack a small smile but felt kind of bad she did that. Thor kissing her and her talk with her mother helped Astrid in her days of healing. Most women would have loved Thor's kiss, but not Astrid. She had wondered about her choice at times, but Thor all but confirmed her choice and that it was the right one.

"I've been thinking about you and Thor for a while now...how everyone compares you both. Egil is still thrilled about Thor kissing me and thinks I should go forward with him. I'm not listening to his opinion though of course."

Loki sighed since of course Egil would have been thrilled. He probably saw the kiss as the first step to Thor waltzing her off her feet and marrying her. Loki hated how Egil saw Astrid and he only saw Astrid as a way for prestige.

"Of course he does, Thor is everyone's favorite. Egil. He sees me as a painful secret he wants dead. I remind Egil of your biological father, the one your mother loves. He sees us like the two of them and to him it's like salt to the wound. He doesn't want that history to occur with you and wants you to be like your mother, with a strong muscled man and ignore your Vanir roots.. " Loki expressed bit bitterly.

Astrid didn't say anything, but instead took Loki's hand, stroking it softly.

" I have decided on something...I hope you'll hear me out." Loki was afraid, but he did love Astrid and will respect her enough to hear her choice.

"Of course Astrid." Loki offered a small smile.

Astrid smiled back and stroked his cheek.

"Well...you're mostly right...Thor is a favorite to a lot of people. When Egil told me awhile ago that it would become clear when he kissed me, he was right. However...Thor's only meant to be my friend...I have my own favorite, you are my favorite. There's no doubt in my heart I chose the right man for me and I love you."

She gently went onto Loki's lap and was blushing very hard and kissed his lips softly. Loki was taken aback by Astrids words at first but smiled into the kiss and held her close to him. Astrid, his dearest friend and beloved girlfriend spoke those lovely words to him. Loki hoped what they had was love and was truly blessed she wasn't persuaded by Thor's kiss. She knew what she wanted and Loki was thrilled Astrid wanted him.

They pulled away and Loki grinned softly.

"I was worried for a moment, Astrid. I wondered if maybe you would pick Thor and you were just biding time to avoid me."

Astrid shook her head.

"I know what happens when someone chooses wrong, a story I know too well. I'm not making that mistake. When I look at you...I just feel so much love and comfort. I feel safe, complete, and I don't want to ever lose you. I thought I might have when Thor kissed me, but I had time to think and I know he's never going to be mine. You aren't a mistake and we're meant to be together." Astrid affirmed.

Loki smiled gazing softly at Astrid. The most beautiful, smart and magically gifted woman chose him. He pulled her close and kissed her softly at first. Astrid smiled and kissed back gently. Her heart was bursting in her passions as she ran her fingers in Loki's dark hair. Then she trailed her hand across his chest tenderly since she truly wanted to make Loki feel loved. Loki deepened the kiss. He felt Astrid's soft hand against him. His heart raced more than ever, he felt a high that he never had before and he loved it. He loved her and he loved the way he felt with her. Her touches against his body and her lips against his, truly made him feel alive.

" I love you Astrid.. There aren't' words that I can think of just how much. Loki said softly.

Astrid pulled away and couldn't stop smiling. Her heart felt complete, whole, and she made the right choice.

"I love you too Loki." she spoke softly with a loving need in her voice. Loki stroked Astrid's cheek with his thumb before pulling her into his arms. He wanted to savor this moment as long as he could.

Astrid smiled as she rested her head on Loki's chest.

"There is a sad part to this Loki."

Loki smiled softly and shook his head. Egil would never allow this but Astrid was a grown woman and can make her own decisions.

"I am not giving you up. " Loki expressed.

"No one is telling you to. Plus I'm sure you and I can figure out how to keep our love hidden. So long we know we love each other...who really cares about everyone else."

Astrid was being selfish, secretive, maybe even sneaky and mischievous but she knew what she wanted. Loki smirked at the idea of sneaking around. He did not want to hide his love, but he knew right now it was the only way. He held Astrid's face in his hands. He would study even more magic so they could become stronger and use it to help in their romantic ventures.

" The idea of hiding our love at the moment is exciting. I love how we are when we're alone."

Astrid smirked lightly and trailed her fingers on Loki's neck.

"As do I, we complete each other."

Loki smiled but he checked to see if they were alone. They were but he helped to settle Astrid beside him. Her being in his lap would tell people they were together and he did not want that to travel to Egil or his father's ears.

"What will you do about Thor?" Loki asked, since that was also a concern.

Astrid thought for a moment before interlacing her fingers with his.

"Thor and I will remain friends, but it will take time for us to be like we were before. Egil might want me to spend time with him and I might, but I will not let Egil dictate who I see."

Loki scoffed playfully and gazed into Astrid's eyes.

"Thor's lucky you're so patient and kind. If I were you, I may not have forgiven him easily."

"Who said it was easy, it took days for me to humor forgiveness. Like I mentioned, it will be awhile before we get to where we were. I don't trust him as much as I used to. He will try I know but I will not give him the chance to do that again. You can tell Thor I will give him another chance because we are close. However, he better not make moves on me or I can and will teach him to not care about our friendship."

Loki smirked softly.

"How ravishing you are when you use your magic to be forceful. I think Thor still has the bruise on his buttock from when you blasted him."

Astrid didn't mean to, but she smiled warmly at Loki's smirk in reveling in Thor's pain.

"That was being gentle. I can do a lot more."

Loki didn't doubt that but instead gently wrapped an arm around her. He couldn't help but feel at peace despite knowing they would need to do all they can to keep their relationship from most people in Asgard. Their mothers would be the only ones that would know and support the couple and that was good enough for them for the time being.

"I missed you." Loki murmured softly in her ear.

"I've missed you too Loki. Perhaps we should have a date soon, or rather Sigyn should have a date with you."

Loki did wonder if Astrid shape shifting was the only way for them to date in public. He had to read up on magic and illusions to see if there was a way Astrid could be as is to him but look like Sigyn to everyone else. That would be an endeavor he will take on proudly since he wanted to help Astrid and also expand his magical knowledge.

"Of course I would love that, but we will still have our evenings right darling?" Loki asked in a low, almost seductive whisper.

Astrid felt her body tingle at his words and truly loved the romantic yet flirtatious side of him. She wasn't blind to the fact she loved Loki physically and was starting to have thoughts...not so innocent thoughts of what she would want Loki to do.

"I'm not giving up any time with you, you complete my days and make them all the better. Which is why I am sorry for having you be away from me."

"Yes that was hurtful and upsetting, but the result is that you love me and that you are confident in your decision."

Astrid smiled and kissed his lips softly once more.

The couple went their ways after going over a tome together that Loki had. Astrid returned home while Loki went into the library to look up illusion magic. There had to be something to fulfill him seeing Astrid as is while others not seeing Astrid at all. He was nose deep in books when he heard a loud,

"There you are brother!"

Loki took a deep breath before setting down his book and made eye contact with his brother. Thor looked at Loki and there was a pleasant look on his face.

"Loki, did you see Astrid?"

Loki shot a small smile and nodded.

"She was ready to see me and we had a nice chat. Her mind and heart are better. You are so lucky or she's too kind but she will give you another chance. Note, this chance is to be her best friend again. Do not, I repeat do not court her or go after her like a hormone crazed animal." Loki told him sternly.

Thor's eyes widened and he smiled softly.

"She's giving me a chance, she doesn't hate me?"

Loki sighed.

"Look brother, she had every reason to end your friendship and to be pissed at you. She wants to give you a chance to be her friend again because of your history. If it were me, we wouldn't be having this talk and you wouldn't be forgiven. You're nowhere near being close and completely fine with her but she would like to see you in a few days or so."

Thor sighed and he recounted how upset and angry Astrid looked after he kissed her. Egil might have dreams for him and Astrid to marry, but he almost lost Astrid because of it.

"I won't make that mistake any time soon. If Astrid comes to terms with herself and tells me she wants me, then I will kiss and court her."

Loki chuckled lightly and nodded, even though that would never happen. He didn't want Thor to have her and it was cute that Thor was blind to see just who Astrid loves.

"Perhaps, but again don't do anything stupid, romantic, or perverted Thor. Astrid needed days to get over her sadness and rage against you. We truly mean a lot to her and I do hope we can someday be like we were."

"I know Loki. Astrid is right, change can be a bad and scary thing. I nearly lost her and she didn't want to see any of us. My hope is that it will never get this bad between us again. It would hurt for me to be at odds with her or you, Loki."

Loki nodded and he looked at his stack of books. As much as he would love to chat with Thor, he needed to get back to his research.

"Likewise. Now I am quite busy with experiments and research. I will join you and the rest of the family for dinner." he expressed calmly.

Thor just nodded and left his brother with his books. Loki cracked a light smile and continued his research and found something promising. Perhaps he can try it on their date to see if it would work. He needed to practice it, but he had magic lessons soon so that would be a perfect time. The most extraordinary thing was that Astrid didn't just care for him, but loved him as he loved her. Loki truly had one Astrid's heart and had chosen to love him over his perfect, strong, and handsome brother. Their hearts wanted each other and together they shall be.