Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and honestly haven't finished the series because the ending of the Pein arc was a cop out. Anyways, I do not profit from this.

Summary: The speeches failed, the fires were all consuming, giant summons fought with earth quaking force, and there stood two madmen with power that would make lesser ninja faint. Where was the boy he had admired? … That boy was lost to hate. Kakashi wondered: what if Obito hadn't loved Rin?

A/N: So this is for the hell of it, and a story I have been working on for at least six years (on and off again, not consistently). Anyways, I reached a hundred pages in the Word doc, and Word started getting glitchy about that so... Here I am posting this. It will be serious because, despite my best efforts, I can't seem to do humor or keep things light. This will explore gender and sexuality constructions, as well as general "what ifs" and relationships. This first chapter is just to give an idea of what this story is getting at. Rated M for heavily implied sexual situations, implied under-age sex, coarse language, and discussion on reproductive rights in a militaristic and patriarchal society. Happy reading ~ love, depressedchildren

Chapter 1

The speeches failed, the fires were all consuming, the giant summons fought with earth quaking force, and there stood two madmen emboldened by a "goddess" with power that would make lesser ninja faint. Of her two champions was one he thought he knew. Who was this deformed man? Where was the boy he had admired and changed his whole life because of? Where was that goofy, annoying brat Kakashi had lived the rest of his life trying to emulate?

He was gone. He was lost to the Uchiha hate and his own obsessions. He focused solely on living in the past, on living in a dream. As Kakashi made his final assault, he had to wonder: would this have happened if Obito had loved someone else—anyone else but Rin?

His chakra was depleted, and the world was growing dark, but Kakashi finished his last attack. Death came to him then, but there was no camp fire this time. He would finally pass on.

…

Kakashi stumbled forward as a body collided into him. "Move you idiots!" someone shouted. Wait was that—Rin?!

Kakashi's eyes snapped open, or at least attempted to. A familiar burning pain flared from his left eye—it was damaged and bleeding profusely under the bandage, but he felt a warm body against his as the world around him shook.

He was in the cave! That dreadful cave. The body trembling against him was Rin, of course, and if he looked to the boulder that should have crushed him, he would see...Obito bleeding and crushed in the cave-in.

Heh. Obito… he "dies" even in Kakashi's afterlife. Although, it would have been for the best for him to have really died in the cave-in. Of course…if it wasn't one regret, it was another. Would Kakashi have to relive killing Ri—

"Rin-chan!" What? That was Obito's voice! The body pushed against Kakashi was gone. Kakashi finally looked toward the rubble and pool of blood he knew would be there, but—No! It should be Obito crushed under the cave-in n-not Rin! Kakashi fell to his knees as Obito sobbed above Rin.

"Rin-chan!" Obito cried. "No, no, no."

Kakashi shook his head. What kind of demented afterlife was this?

"O-obito-kun" Rin coughed wetly. "'Kashi-chan…" Kakashi ignored the odd endearment and crawled to the girl's side. He grabbed her hand as she weakly searched for his hand—he absentmindedly noted his hand was too small and slender even for his thirteen-year-old self.

Regardless of whether or not this was some warped afterlife meant to torture Kakashi, he'd give his teammate the comfort he should have given her. However, internally he felt so shaken, and he knew he was actually starting to cry now.

"Rin-chan!" Obito called as he tried to claw at the boulders crushing her.

Rin gasped in pain and clenched Kakashi's hand tightly. "It's n-no use!" she exclaimed.

"No…" Obito may have denied this with his words, but his slumped form said he knew there was no hope for Rin's survival.

"D-don't be sad Obito-kun. I'm proud to die for my team," she said. Obito made some cry of refusal, but Rin ignored him and looked up at Kakashi with a softened expression. Even now, Kakashi could never return Rin's feelings—in his mind, she was always meant for Obito.

She let go of Kakashi's hand and tried to reach her hand up, but it fell to her side weakly, so Kakashi grasped it again in both of his oddly small hands. Rin gave a grimace like smile, even as blood collected in her mouth. It gargled at the back of her throat before she coughed it out of her mouth and it drippled down the side of her lips. "I-I've always admired you 'Kashi-chan," Rin began to say. Kakashi closed his eyes as he braced himself for her confession. "I wanted to be a strong kunoichi like you." What?! Kakashi's eye shot open and he stared down at her sincere but pained expression.

"S-so promise me," she coughed and more blood spilled from her lips, "when you come into your own, knock 'em all dead for me, little sister."

Kakashi bowed his head, and although the words were not what he expected and confused him, he couldn't stop himself from crying. Rin kept speaking, but her focus shifted. "Obito-kun, y-you make sure 'Kashi-chan has a life, yeah? You t-two live for me. Live your lives for me."

"Rin-chan…" Obito breathed out shakily, and Rin tugged her hand out of Kakashi's now weak grasp to reach out for Obito. Obito grabbed the hand and kneeled forward so that she could cup his face.

"Please Obito-kun, you two need to live and fight in Konoha's name for me," Rin pleaded.

Rin made a pained noise and gritted her teeth as her eyes screwed tightly closed. Kakashi knew Rin would not live much longer, her ribcage was smashed and had clearly punctured her lungs. "L-lead us onto victory t-taichou," the dying girl addressed Kakashi in short gasping words as blood slipped past her lips and down her cheek.

Kakashi was back in the cave, but this was worse, this was Rin—not Obito but Rin! He felt like he couldn't breathe, and those words were like a physical blow. He had been going to abandon Rin, and now she was really dead!

"No!" Kakashi scrambled backwards and shook his head. "I don't deserve to be the leader of this mission anymore!" he exclaimed. Belatedly, Kakashi realized his voice was far too high pitched to have been his; although, it felt right to speak that way. However, if he was indeed a girl, his voice was still lower in pitch than he would have imagined—unless his afterlife self didn't care about sounding respectably feminine. All of these observations occurred somewhere behind his panic and the suffocating grief gripping his body.

Rin grimaced but smiled. "You came back for me, 'Kashi-chan," she argued. Obito bumped against Kakashi's side, perhaps as a show of comradery.

"Kick his ass 'Kashi-chan, Obito-kun." Rin's words were barely intelligible over the gurgling blood suffocating her.

Mentally, Kakashi accepted this, had accepted this, but for some reason he physically wasn't ready. Rin finally passed out from blood loss and drowning in her own blood—it was a sound which was going to haunt Kakashi for nights to come. However, Obito stood up in anger with his Sharingan eyes spinning wildly.

"Rin-chan was right!" Obito's words were trembling, and he already had two tomoe marks. Kakashi nodded but his legs weren't cooperating. The young Uchiha turned to look down at Kakashi and said, "Get mad Bakashi; we have an enemy to kill."

Despite Kakashi's trained and cold rationale, he felt the anger build up in his chest. He wiped at the last of his tears and stood up. Before, he had killed Kakko with his chidori, but without the Sharingan, the jutsu was imperfect.

Kakashi looked over at Obito calculatingly, and although the boy was practically seething, he wasn't running out there half-cocked, which was an improvement. "Set him up so he can't escape from my line of attack."

Obito stared at Kakashi with his eyes slightly narrowed. "What do you mean?"

"I get tunnel vision from the chidori, but if you make sure he has nowhere to move—"

"You can get a clean hit," Obito finished and smiled slightly. "I'll keep him distracted and we restrict his movement with traps." They had to clear the rubble away, and although Kakashi knew he could just throw one of the three-pronged kunai and have Sensei at their side; the jounin also knew Obito needed the satisfaction of Kakko being taken down by them.

Even if this was just an afterlife, Kakashi was going to do right by it.

…

Kakashi stared numbly at the destroyed bridge. Obito dropped down beside him and slid his hand into Kakashi's unresponsive hand—his far too small hand. "We'll live for Rin-chan," Obito murmured. Kakashi nodded numbly before interlocking his fingers in Obito's—for some reason it felt right to do so.

They stood there for a long moment as the silence of their oath hung between them. They soaked in the bitter-sweet accomplishment they felt for destroying the bridge, and Kakashi hoped Rin was proud of them.

"Oh no," Minato murmured from behind them, thus breaking the moment. The surviving members of Team 7 turned to look at him—it was so odd to see Sensei alive, even if this was just his afterlife.

Sensei was murmuring "no" over and over as he shook his head.

"What is it?" Obito asked as he started to retract his hand to reach for a kunai while activating his Sharingan to scan for enemies.

Minato rubbed his face like he was too old to be dealing with whatever he was freaking out about. "Hokage-sama said it was unlikely to happen again," he murmured to himself, "but no, it had to."

Before Kakashi could even react, Sensei grabbed Obito by the collar and dangled him over the side of the rubble. "'Kashi-chan's still technically my ward, so if you try to force anything on her, I will be obligated to break your legs irreparably."

Obito's eyes widened comically and he paled.

"M-minato-sensei!" Kakashi stuttered out in embarrassment even though he tried hard to push it down. "How can you think that!?" Because, seriously, how?! This was Obito! He loves Rin no matter if she's alive or dead.

"It happened with Sensei and Orochimaru-san," Minato deadpanned, and Kakashi was fairly certain he had misheard his sensei.

"Huh? Don't they hate each other?" Obito asked, no longer so concerned that he was being held over a canyon with jagged pieces of cement and rebar meters (to a kilometer in some places) below him.

Sensei rolled his eyes and finally set Obito back onto the destroyed bridge. "Of course they do, but Sensei had an unfortunate one-night-stand with that man after they stood off against Hanzo," Sensei explained.

What?! What the hell?! Kakashi blinked repeatedly along with Obito. "Then the team she trained in Ame had two girls on it and a romance started there too," Minato mumbled to himself, but Kakashi heard and his brain short circuited for a moment; although his body tensed and he was blushing at the implications.

"W-wh-what?! No way! Me and Bakashi?! Nuh-uh! She's too un-cute, no way!" Obito flailed his arms around and shook his head vehemently. Surprisingly he didn't bring up how much he loved Rin, but then her death was still so new. Regardless, Kakashi might be relieved at his teammate's sentiments, but physically he felt put down by that even if he didn't outwardly show it.

Sensei flicked Obito in the forehead before he set a hand on Kakashi's shoulder. "You're my very cute apprentice, 'Kashi-chan, don't listen to Obito-kun; he's in denial," Sensei stated. Kakashi shifted away from his sensei's hand and glared at him slightly while Obito spluttered. This was all too weird. Way too weird. How could Sensei say any of this when Obito as hopelessly in love with Rin and now Rin was dead and-and—!

So Kakashi repressed this as best he could and started to make for the cave. Minato-sensei said they would try to retrieve Rin's body, so he might as well get them moving in that direction. Briefly, Kakashi wondered if Rin would be there. She probably would be because what value did she have to Madara without a Sharingan or Uchiha bloodline? It would be good to have a body for the funeral. A body might help with the closure; although the thought of Rin being dead was oddly suffocating. He needed to think about something else, anything else.

So Kakashi opted to examine his present situation. This was certainly an odd afterlife and things were so messed up. He looked down at his body briefly, but nothing really screamed girl besides his small hands and higher pitched voice—but plenty of boys had high pitched voices before puberty. However, the way his teammates reacted to him said Kakashi must be a girl.

Really, this was such an odd afterlife. First, he was apparently a girl, and he really didn't want to know why that was a condition in his afterlife. Second, Jiraiya-sama was a woman too… Did that mean no Icha Icha?! Also… Orochimaru?! What the hell?! If Kakashi was seeing the pattern right, undoubtedly Yahiko was a woman too…er is a woman? Unless Nagato was the second girl… Ignoring matters of gender, there was the final oddity of this afterlife: Rin died in the cave-in. Her death made him feel small somehow and the suffocating feeling was coming back.

He had to stop thinking about that while still in potentially hostile territory! So Kakashi made himself think back to the fact that apparently Jiraiya and Orochimaru…did it. He was picturing them both as their male selves but Jiraiya had breasts. Kakashi wanted to be sick— "Oh no!" What if they had a child?!

"'Kashi-chan?" Sensei was at Kakashi's side immediately with an alarmed expression on his face. Kakashi shook his head.

"What is it Bakashi?" Obito asked in an equally concerned tone.

"Ah…" Kakashi looked off to the side and shook his head again, as if that could rid him of the mental of image of Jiraiya and Orochimaru's child, which was somehow a cross between a white haired toad and a snake.

"We're going to go and find Rin's body, don't worry Kakashi," Minato reassured. He even forewent an honorific to show how personal and serious he was as he set both hands on Kakashi's thin shoulders.

Right Rin…It was still so odd to think she was dead, although this was a very messed up, hellish afterlife. "I-I know," Kakashi spoke at last, but had to fight down a blush as the image of that poor child remained in his mind. Of course, even this afterlife version of Sensei knew whenever Kakashi was embarrassed.

"It wasn't about Rin," Minato said slowly, and Kakashi cringed.

Obito bristled, which made Kakashi tense further. It wasn't that he wasn't mourning Rin—he was mentally, and physically he felt like there was this gaping hole in his life now—but he was trying to keep the pain from immobilizing him.

"…I was trying to distract myself," Kakashi murmured at last in that oddly high pitched yet low voice. Obito was still angry at Kakashi's response, but less so than he was before.

Minato stepped back a little surprised before he smiled slightly, "And what made you so disgusted and horrified?" he teased.

Kakashi felt sick for a moment, but figured his team could share in his misery. "…I thought of if Jiraiya-sama and Orochimaru had a child," he replied at last.

Sensei blanched before hurriedly moving on. Obito looked a little green too, but Sensei didn't look so much repulsed as—"Oh gods! NO!" Kakashi exclaimed and shook his head in disbelief and horror. Obito looked at Kakashi oddly, and Sensei started moving faster at Kakashi's exclamation.

"What?" Obito asked, and Kakashi shook his head.

"They did," Kakashi stated as he shuddered and started to move faster; the toad-snake baby lived! Kakashi missed the expression of horror that slowly dawned on Obito's face. Oh god, that poor baby, how messed up must it look?!

…

Somehow, for the past several weeks, Kakashi had remained in denial. Any second now he imagined his afterlife would take him to some different, less messed up version of his life, but no. Even at Rin's funeral, which they managed to retrieve a body for because Madara did not take it, Kakashi expected to be whisked away to the next tragedy in his life, but he wasn't. Instead, he had to live in this afterlife body, which made him wonder if this was even an afterlife at all. He had considered reincarnation, but why would he only now be aware of it, and why would he have the exact same position in life considering all he had done in his previous life? Or was this to punish him? Not becoming a lower life-form but to relive the worst things in his life in a different body.

Regardless of-of whatever this was, Kakashi had managed to ignore the obvious facts that said he was female now. He didn't look at himself in a mirror, and he changed quickly. Any differences in urinating he overcame by disassociating from his body, but he couldn't deny the facts of his afterlife body anymore.

He stared at his white underwear in disbelief (he had been tempted to switch them out with boxers or anything else but what filled his dresser drawer). The rusty-brown color staining the undergarment was there mocking him no mater how long her stared at it. He had never really associated such a color with blood before unless it had long since dried, but that was blood. To make maters worse, he felt like someone had taken a kunai to his insides and was slowly scrapping it all out. He hadn't expected this, the blood, when the cramping began earlier. He just thought he had to make a bowel movement.

Was this his punishment, or something? What had he done in his life that deserved this with all its pain?! It was bad enough he had to relive the painful moments of his years and all the bitter intermittent moments, but he was probably going to have to see Obito be abducted and turned against the village. Then Kakashi would end up killing Obito, which would be worse than Rin's death. Although…that was probably because of the conflicted stupid emotions his body had for that stupid Uchiha.

Seriously! What had Kakashi done in his past life to deserve this?! Why couldn't he just have the camp fire again!? And…why was he feeling pain in this afterlife? This couldn't be a reincarnation because wasn't his next life supposed to be completely different!?

There was a knock at the bathroom door, and Kakashi literally jerked in surprise. "'Kashi-chan, is everything okay?" Minato-Sensei asked kindly.

Minato-sensei's actions and words inexplicably pissed Kakashi off and embarrassed him. "Go away!" he screeched—literally screeched and at Sensei of all people.

And these hormones! Why did he have to have these hormones in this afterlife!? He was officially blocking out the possibility of reincarnation because he should also know what this female him had lived like before the cave, but he couldn't remember anything at all—he only had his memories from his life as a man.

Kakashi hid his face with his hands in embarrassment and groaned when he heard Obito snickering on the other side of the door. Minato snapped at Obito to quiet. He then spoke more softly. "Is it that time of the month?" Sensei asked in an infuriatingly well-meaning way.

"Shut up!" Kakashi shook his head more violently and wished he didn't feel so ashamed or embarrassed. And why did his Sensei have to be the one to talk about this! Kakashi should have just waited until after dinner to go to the bathroom, but he hadn't known this would be waiting for him.

Sensei sighed before saying, "I know Rin was helping you through this, and it must be hard—"

"Shut up," Kakashi brokenly whispered. He felt his throat start to close up. He missed Rin so much just then. He hugged his arms and tried to keep himself from crying. Why did he have these emotions and relationships with people here? What kind of hell was this? How could this be his afterlife? He childishly wanted Rin—his friend, and the kunoichi who had helped this afterlife Kakashi to be a girl. He just wanted someone who understood and wasn't some embarrassing guy bothering Kakashi when he felt so vulnerable.

"I'll get Kushina-chan," Sensei murmured before he told Obito to stand guard. Perhaps a few minutes later, there was a knock before a familiar redhead entered the restaurant restroom after picking the lock.

Kakashi hid his face and began to cry. He missed Rin. He missed his friend and teammate. Kushina ran a hand down his back soothingly, all the while murmuring angrily about how ill-equipped Minato was to deal with teenage girls.

When Kakashi finally composed himself, Kushina handed him a small wrapped package he knew must be a sanitary pad. As he was applying the thing to his underwear (for even if he didn't know personally how to put one on, it was obvious given the sticky side), he realized this was how he would be living now on. He had to accept what this afterlife was offering (he still ruled out reincarnation because why did it so closely match his own lived life?). He was a girl now, and it looked like he would be reliving his every failure and all the intermittent time between incidents. Perhaps he should make the best of this?

Besides, who was Kakashi to disrupt the Team 7 curse—as Sensei dubbed it—it might even make Obito happy before he died? And really, if Kakashi thought about the Obito he had mourned for so many years, he had loved him—it just wasn't the kind of love this teenage body was starting to…feel or think it felt...but still.

If Kakashi was being cynically honest, the survivor's guilt was probably what made this body feel "attracted" to Obito. He had started to feel similar things for Rin just before she died…but he never acted on it because Rin and Obito were meant to be and he could not betray Obito in such a way. Still, if he had to go through puberty again, he'd prefer his own not this afterlife's version because his had been so much less drama. Perhaps this would be part of his punishment in this afterlife—although, for what was he being punished? Well, with any luck, Obito was probably hung up about Rin anyways, so all Kakashi would have to do is just try to be nicer to the Uchiha boy.

"Do you want to go get some chocolate and be really stereotypical?" Kushina asked gently when Kakashi had finished setting his clothes in order and washing up.

He turned around after mulling over the question. "…Not really…I…" Kakashi trailed off as he thought it over. He felt a little embarrassed as he realized what he wanted to do. "I want to kick someone's ass." Girls weren't really encouraged to do that sort of thing, but he honestly felt like fighting someone and just really laying into them until his knuckles were bleeding.

Kushina started to laugh raucously. "I knew I always liked you for a reason, 'Kashi-chan," she stated. When they stepped out of the bathroom, they saw Sensei and Obito waiting by the exit of the restaurant. She gestured pointedly over at the two males, and Kakashi nodded.

"Then we should go get dumplings," Kakashi added with an eye-smile. Kushina's eyes positively sparkled with a mischievous light.

"Oh Pretty-boy," the jinchuuriki sing-sang, and Minato paled as he started to back out of the establishment. Kakashi turned his sights on Obito and smirked beneath his mask. The Uchiha swallowed thickly as if sensing Kakashi's intention.

"Should we start running?" Obito asked faintly as Kakashi and Kushina stalked toward them.

"Yes!" Sensei nodded emphatically before grabbing Obito and using a shunshin.

"Nothing like exercise to get rid of cramps," Kushina exclaimed loudly as she started tearing after them. Kakashi couldn't help but blush as he too took off after the males of his afterlife team. Ah! It was still too strange for proper words, but Kakashi had best accept it.

...

Naruto watched in horror as his sensei died in a last ditch effort to kill his former teammate. The speeches had all failed and Naruto felt even his great chakra reserves waning. He started to prepare his ultimate rasengan as Sasuke prepared his chidori. They met each other's hands as they had so many times before. The explosion erupted up his arm and even in the blinding light, Naruto saw his arm exploding just as Sasuke's was. Heh, they really did blow their arms up doing that—sensei was right.

Naruto smiled slightly through the pain as he looked at his former teammate and rival. All he saw was anger and hate before Naruto's jutsu won out and began tearing apart his friend. Why had this happened? Naruto had thought…he had thought Sasuke would come to love Konoha like his brother had, but no…

Could this have all been different, Naruto wondered, if Sasuke had just had something to love within the village? Would any of this had happened?

The blood and chakra loss was getting to him, and the pain! The pain made his heart beat so fast that he thought he was going to die—hell he couldn't even feel left arm anymore and it wasn't the one blown off! Through half lidded eyes, he saw Madara come toward him. The roar of the battlefield dulled, and then Madara brought down his weapon and everything went dark.

…

Naruto felt boneless and warm. He couldn't remember the last time he had laid on a soft mattress, but he could feel one below his hip and leg. There was also a firm warmth beneath his chest though it felt strange. He could feel the heartbeat of his bed partner, and the softness of the other person's skin

Was this his afterlife? Snuggling up to someone? How come there were sheets but no clothes in the afterlife—'cause that was weird. Part of him was angry that he had died, that the war had ended as it had, but what use was it crying over that now? He was dead and in his afterlife.

He sniffed the air and immediately scrunched up his nose. As cliché as it was, the only thing he could think of that captured the mix of sweat and other bodily smells was "sex," and the scent almost made him want to gag. Maybe he had spent too much time with Ero-sennin if his afterlife was really just having sex with someone. Although…who had he supposedly had sex with?

He moved his hand slightly up a plane of muscles, so that meant a ninja, but the muscles weren't defined enough to be a man so this must be a kunoichi; although there was a distinct lack of curves. His hand then moved up and brushed over a nipple, but there was no soft mound of flesh around it, which meant—oh god no!

And what was the pressure he felt against his own chest?! His bed partner made a low noise. Not deep enough for a man, but clearly male. Naruto shot up with small surprised cry at the pedophilic implications—how the hell was this his afterlife?!

Then Naruto looked down at his body and wanted to scream. Those were definitely not the breasts of his henge but that also wasn't what his chest was supposed to look like. Trying to push down his panic, Naruto cupped the small odd things hanging from his chest; they were real and warm—he could feel his own calloused hands against the skin.

His bed partner rolled onto his side and used his arm under the pillow to bring it closer to his face. Naruto's brain short circuited; although he felt his stomach twist slightly in embarrassment while his heart began to beat faster as he blushed.

His afterlife bed partner was thirteen-year-old Sasuke, and Naruto was a girl. What the hell!? Was this hell?

Naruto looked around him in horror. There were clothes strewn around the bed and blood was on the sheets—oh gods did that mean it was his afterlife self's first time, that or…! Naruto pushed down the panic and such thoughts; Sasuke would never do that, even when he was rogue with a vendetta against Konoha.

Naruto's eyes finally landed on a mirror and he shook his head in disbelief. He had made up Naruko as a female version of himself, but instead of having cute pigtails or pouty lips, he looked the same as he did when he was twelve—maybe his face was a little softer. The only thing that screamed he was a girl were the obvious anatomical differences.

His afterlife sucked! Could he get a refund or something? He surely deserved something better than this after all he had gone through!

The teme was still asleep, and Naruto cursed his body for blushing at seeing him sleeping so peacefully, though maybe the reaction was just from the fact that they had-had…done something so adult. Naruto shook his head and started to pick up the articles of clothing that made up his orange jumpsuit, although he didn't get what was with all the bandages lying around—had someone been injured?

As he was grabbing what he assumed was his female self's underwear, he found an Icha Icha book lying open and forgotten on the floor. Frowning, Naruto picked it up and skimmed the page. He frowned more. Jiraiya never paid that much attention to the female orgasm in his books, ever! And the description of certain things the male character was doing to the female character were never described in such detail or with such focus on the female's pleasure in any of Jiraiya's books. Although, for some reason, Naruto felt that it matched perfectly with reality—oh god!

Shaking his head violently, he put the book down on the end table and quietly got dressed. Or at least thought he was being quiet; then again, Sasuke had never been the soundest sleeper. "Naruto?" Sasuke questioned tiredly.

Naruto froze with the underwear only half on. The blonde dared not look down at Sasuke, but Naruto's eyes were still wide open—in many ways, he had frozen like an animal startled in the wilderness.

"Team assingments aren't for hours," Sasuke mumbled before burrowing his face back into his pillow. Team assingments? So they were twelve? Naruto felt sick.

"Uh huh," he replided faintly when Sasuke tilted his head to look back at Naruto's lack of response.

"Why are you leaving?" he asked—now becoming more awake.

"Ah, I need to go home and stuff," Naruto's already high pitched voice went higher still. Why was he talking in such a high pitch?

Sasuke frowned and began to sit up. Naruto looked away with a blush while pulling the underwear up completely. He felt nervous and jumpy, and he didn't like being naked in front of Sasuke right now. Speaking of, why the hell was Sasuke being so casual about this?!

"I-I'm just gonna go!" Naruto blurted out as he began to throw on the rest of the clothes he had collected around himself.

"Why are you acting so strange?" Sasuke asked suddenly. He was leaning against the headboard with the sheets bunched aroudn his waist.

"What? I'm not acting weird, you're acting weird!" Naruto blurted out automatically and perhaps a bit panicked.

Sasuke fidgeted. "Is it because we had sex?" the dark haired boy asked quietly while looking at his lap.

"I'm leaving," Naruto announced in one of his less creative attempts at deflection. He zipped up the jumpsuit and began for the door.

"You don't want to have breakfast?" Sasuke called after him surprised and perhaps even dejected. Guilt wrenched at Naruto, but at the same time he felt so uncomfortable and nervous—he couldn't stay here any longer or he'd go crazy.

Not trusting his voice, Naruto just shook his head and opened the bedroom door. He then left without saying another word. He heard Sasuke get up and enter the hallway after him, but the boy didn't try to stop Naruto's leave. Instead a door closed behind the blonde and then a faucet began to run.

Naruto's shoulders relaxed slightly and he continued further down the hallway. He was just glad he had started in the right direction because this sure as hell wasn't the Uchiha district or Naruto's apartment. It was an apartment, yes, but not one Naruto recognized.

Naruto passed the kitchen and froze when he saw what was on the counter. That was his favorite cup ramen—the expensive stuff he could only afford once in a while—and there were three unopened cups. Was that supposed to be breakfast? Had Sasuke gotten that for Naruto? Had what transpired between them been planned?

"Naruto-chan?"

Naruto whirled around with a kunai drawn at the unfamiliar and deep voice speaking from the entryway just beyond the kitchen. His eyes were wide open as he stared at-at Obito?! B-but his face—it wasn't all messed up! His left eye even looked normal; although, upon further inspection, the eye looked lighter in color than his right eye. Despite the physical differences between the Obito Naruto had faced off against and this Obito, they had the same cold and almost crazed look in their eyes.

"I thought you stopped visiting after my wife died?" Obito-but-not-Obitio asked. Naruto blinked several times at the shut off manner in which the man spoke. He wore a standard Konoha jounin uniform, but it almost looked wrong on the man.

Outside of the blonde's observations, the man's words pissed Naruto off. So Naruto scowled at the man who could easily kill his puny twelve-year-old self. "I thought you weren't around enough to care," he shot back. He then decide to hurry past Obito while the man looked slightly shocked at Naruto's response—Naruto was pretty shocked at his own words too.

He was nearly to the door when Obito spoke again, although Naruto wasn't as nervous as he should have been to show his back to Obito. "I heard about Mizuki. Good job; you did Konoha a service."

His words made Naruto's stomach drop and he felt sick instead of proud at beating up Mizuki. Naruto hung his head and closed his eyes tightly. The self-hate was nearly suffocating, but why did he feel this?

"Next time, though," Obito added, "bring the traitors in alive for interrogation."

What?! Naruto turned to look back at Obito who was smirking slightly, although it didn't really reach his dead eyes. The man then turned and walked into the kitchen, but paused once more—likely at the ramen cups on the counter.

Naruto felt his eyes starting to burn, so he rushed out of the apartment. He ran blindly with his tears making it hard to see. He had killed Mizuki in this afterlife! And then female-him had sex with Sasuke to cope?! Or at least that was what Naruto had inferred because why else would any version of him have sex with Sasuke?

Naruto stumbled and fell hard to the ground about a block away from Sasuke and Obito's apartment complex. The pain would have been enough to make him believe this wasn't an illusion, but he still brought his hands together and shouted Kai as he burst chakra outward and flooded his system. He kept shouting it as he sobbed. He felt inside of him for Kurama even though he knew the fox couldn't have followed him to this hellish afterli—what?!

Naruto remained half kneeling on the village street as he stared unseeingly in front of him. Kurama was there inside of him. He could feel the chakra but the blocks were back in place so that he couldn't access the bijuu's chakra like before—it was as if he really was twelve again. If Naruto was dead, Kurama would not have followed him. What the hell was going on?!

TBC

A/N: So…this is a bit different from what I tend to write. Also, I know Team 7 were all 12 when they graduated, but I'm taking creative liberty because they're way too young to be having sex (although, when life expectancy was about thirty, people were getting married around thirteen…but still it's not good). I also know Team Minato was the proper name, but I'm adding a little flavor to it so there can be the Team 7 curse.

Anyways… Is it a twist to the usual time-travel fic? Are they really dead? Are they stuck in some warped Tsukiyomi world? Are they in the same world? Who's Obito's dead wife? Eh, feel free to discuss your hypotheses. I'm sure at least one point of contention right now is about Kakashi's emotional behavior. Even if Naruto and Kakashi have their adult minds that remember being male, both Kakashi and Naruto were thrown into pubescent female bodies at times that are incredibly emotionally trying for them. In addition, they may start to assimilate, which will be seen more next chapter. Final note, I don't think being female is a punishment, but menstruations can feel like torture sometimes so yeah… I'll update in a month or two.

Stay safe y'all ~ much love, depressed children