"Maybe it's not. But I've already watched you die once. I'm sorry if I don't want to go through that again."

His words echoed in her ears as she stared at the wall of her apartment. Buffy was torn between anger, grief and sympathy. She was angry with Xander for not telling her that Angel's soul might be saved, that he could be returned to her. She felt grief for the loss of her first love. Lastly, she felt sympathy for one of her oldest and best friends. One who had saved her life, pulling her back from death. One who wanted her to survive, no matter the cost.

Buffy let out a scream and punched the wall.

"Dammit Xander! I wish you'd told me. We could've talked about it. We could've figured something out. We could've…"

Buffy hit the wall again, ignoring the bruise forming on her knuckles.

It's funny, isn't it? You say you could've figured something out, but what would you have done? Tried to stall Angelus? That's who you were fighting. This wasn't Angel, wasn't some sparring match in a graveyard. He wanted your blood. After all, he already had you once.

"Shut up." Buffy said quietly, trying to ignore the voice in her head. She didn't want to hear this, didn't want to remember what she had done with Angel that had resulted in the return of Angelus. Angelus. The Scourge of Europe. The monster that wore her lover's face.

So who are you really angry with? Xander? Or yourself?

Buffy stared at the hole she had made in the wall, not moving for a long time.

Xander opened his eyes and stretched his arms above his head, turning his neck until he heard a satisfying crack.

"Sleeping in a car. Not the best idea Xander." Buffy said through the open window.

"Buffy? What are you doing here? Or are you even here? Maybe I'm still sleeping and-"

"XANDER! You're awake. I'm here. You're in your car outside the diner where I work. Or where Anne works. Now open the door. I brought breakfast." She said, and he opened the passenger side door. Buffy got in and shut the door, handing him a cup of coffee and setting a bag of food on the dashboard.

"I figured you could use a cup of coffee. There are a few breakfast sandwiches in there too. Help yourself."

"Thanks Buffy." He said, pulling a sandwich from the bag. For a few moments there was silence as the two ate.

"Not that I don't appreciate the food Buffy, but I'm kinda surprised. I figured I'd be the last person you wanted to talk to given the way we ended things last night."

Buffy winced, remembering how they had left things the previous evening.

Last Night

"Maybe it's not. But I've already watched you die once. I'm sorry if I don't want to go through that again."

"It's not always about what you want Xander. Now do me a favor and get out. I don't want to see you. Just go home."

Buffy had left, not letting him say so much as a word.

"I guess I'm surprised too. I didn't expect you to still be here." She said, and he grinned.

"I told you that I would never walk away from you. I meant it. I'm here, whether you like it or not." He said, and she chuckled. He was a stubborn man. He was loyal. He was here for her.

"I'm still angry with you. But I understand why you did what you did. Can you understand I'm not ready to go back to Sunnydale just yet?"

"I can, and I won't ask you to go back until you're ready. Just please don't ask me to leave you here by yourself." He said earnestly, and she smiled, nodding once.

"Okay Xan. But you're staying with me. Sleeping in your car isn't good for your back."

He just nodded, knowing that he would never win that argument with her.

A/N: So I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Thanks for reading and the next chapter will be up soon!