I apologize for my long hiatus. Work has been insanely busy.

Chapter 51

Disengaging his saber, Xanatos tossed the weapon a few meters away and stretched his arms out low.

"Do you really have it in you to strike me down, Anakin?" he asked. "I'm all that stands between you and bloodthirsty rage. I would be the first life you take and the one that would haunt you most for the rest of your life."

His master, the only obstacle between him and vengeance he desperately craved, closed his eyes. He was unarmed, defenseless. The darkness whispered to him to strike the Jedi master down. Anakin felt helpless to stop himself, a casual observer watching the events with a growing sense of horror.

"No!" he cried out as he watched himself step forward and cut through his master's body. Xanatos hit the sand, lifeless, accusing eyes staring up at him. Somewhere, the Darkness, in the form of the cloaked figure who had kidnapped him so long ago, laughed in satisfaction.

"Anakin … Padawan … wake up!"

The young man's eyes snapped open. He looked around frantically, trying to find the dark figure that taunted him, wondering where the desert air and night sky had gone. All he could see was his master's concerned eyes, full of life, looking down at him. Anakin sat up and grabbed Xanatos in a bone-crushing hug, afraid that if he let go, the Jedi would vanish.

"Tell me about it," came the soft voice that had talked him through many bad dreams over the past weeks. Sometimes Anakin dreamed that he and Xanatos had died in the arena, sometimes at Dooku's hand. Once, he had seen Xanatos fall on Tatooine and murder him in a fit of rage. This time had been the opposite. The only common thread was the shrouded figure that laughed at him and the fear.

"Tatooine again … I … I killed you."

"We both know that didn't happen," Xanatos assured him.

"But it could have …"

"But it didn't … and that is all that matters," Xanatos said firmly. "Padawan, as Jedi we are always in danger of wandering into the darkness. That you strayed into it is not as significant as the fact that you came back."

Anakin pulled away. Xanatos had more faith in him than he had in himself. On Tatooine, the darkness had whispered to him to strike down his master. He had come too close.

"Master Nuran questioned my sanity when I told her that I was waiting for you to dream about killing me."

Anakin had to agree with the healer's sentiment. "Why were you waiting for it?"

"Because that is what you are still holding onto … that you might have truly fallen and murdered me. It's time to let go of that fear."

Tears stung his eyes. Anakin reached up to wipe them away, wincing when metallic, mechanical fingers brushed against his skin. He held the prosthetic in view, wiggling each of the fingers, still baffled that he was able to make them move with just a thought.

"How is it feeling?" Xanatos asked.

"Okay … I guess … strange." Anakin shrugged. "I will just be glad to get medical clearance."

The Republic was at war, and the Jedi were leading the charge. Obi-Wan and Ben had already been dubbed general and commander and had been shipped off to somewhere in the Outer Rim. After the losses on Geonosis, everyone was needed.

"All in good time, Padawan," Xanatos said, flashing a sympathetic smile. Neither of them enjoyed forced inactivity. "Now, back to sleep. We will talk more tomorrow."

"I don't think I can sleep after that," Anakin admitted.

"How about we go spar then?" Xanatos suggested.

Anakin froze. The way Xanatos' eyes narrowed told him that his master had picked up on the unease he was unable to hide. "I don't have medical clearance yet … do you know what Bant would do …"

"That's never stopped us before, Padawan," Xanatos said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"I can't believe you would ask me to spar after I just dreamed that I killed you," Anakin snapped.

"I know it's hard, Padawan. It took me years to be able to spar with Qui-Gon. Only then did I realize the healing I had missed out on. If you want to move on, if we want to move on, this is the next step."

Anakin took a deep, shuddering breath. His master was right. Until they proved they could function as a master and padawan team again, that the trust between them was still intact, and that they could rise above their fears, they were doomed to be grounded at the Temple.

"We'll meditate first, and then we can start with side-by-side katas," Xanatos offered. "If it helps, we can even use the wooden training sticks the 4-year-olds use."

Anakin couldn't help but laugh at the image of them sparring with wooden training sticks.

"Okay. I'm ready. Let's go."

The lights were dimmed down in the corridors to simulate a night cycle. There was still plenty of activity aboard the large troop transport with the night shift going about their various tasks. None paid any attention to the Jedi padawan walking about the corridors – their commander. Ben quickly made his way to a combat training room situated in the aft portion of the ship. He chose the room furthest from the entrance, letting out a sigh when the door closed behind him. He hated sneaking out. Yes, he had fibbed about the nature of injuries or illnesses on missions. What padawan didn't? But never before had he purposefully kept a secret from his master.

Loading the holo emitter with his program, Ben stepped back and dropped his chin to his chest. Closing his eyes, he sank into a light meditation. He would need focus for this lesson. "Begin," he said softly.

Even after weeks of training, he couldn't quite control the shudder that ran along his spine as the image of his "teacher" appeared. There were probably other tutorials on Form II available in the Archives without having to download "his", but if Ben was going to face Dooku again in the future, something he was certain of, it didn't hurt to study the former Jedi master's style from him.

"As we begin with this exercise, pay close attention to your footwork," came the distinguished, strict tones. "Accuracy and timing are everything."

Ben watched the exercise, paying close attention to detail. Form II, Makashi, was as graceful and elegant as it was complicated. The precision was appealing to him, something he found more than a bit alarming. After watching, Ben ignited his saber and followed along, stepping forward in a line, sweeping his blade in refined thrusts before shifting to retreat away from his imaginary opponent. He repeated, adjusting his footwork to remedy the missteps that threatened his balance. Closing his eyes, he charged his imaginary opponent again, committing each step to memory without watching where his feet landed. The Force told him where to step. He felt a sheen of sweat form on his forehead and down his back as he began yet again. The sense of a familiar presence caused him to break focus long enough to falter. He regained his footing and prepared to stop when a slight nudge through his bond with his master urged him to continue. It was harder to maintain focus now that he knew his master was watching him. He brought the exercise to completion, coming to stand in the center of the floor before extinguishing his saber.

"So this is where you have been running off to late in the night," Obi-Wan commented casually. There was no anger or disappointment in his voice. "Makashi," he murmured as he cast a glance toward the dormant holo of Dooku. "Shall we see what you have learned?"

"Master, really," Ben stammered, feeling heat seep into his cheeks. "I haven't been working on it that long."

"And, sparing is an efficient test of what you learn in exercises," Obi-Wan said as he ignited his saber. "You will be the attacker."

Both assumed their opening stances. Ben couldn't help but wince at the look that flashed through his master's eyes. This was no doubt the same stance he had faced on Geonosis. Trying to push such distractions out of his mind, Ben attacked, carried forward with precise footsteps. His blade immediately met his master's strong defense. He retreated slightly before launching a second attack.

He knew Soresu, and he knew his master. This was no different than when they usually sparred. In fact, it was up to his master to adjust to his style, and Obi-Wan was doing just that. With each attack, Ben knew that his master was studying him, dissecting him for weaknesses. Unfortunately, he was going to find plenty to exploit. Ben misstepped on his next advance, his stumble bringing him close enough to feel the heat of his master's blade singe his arm. Sliding away, he quickly regained his footing.

Backing up, he placed some distance between himself and his master as he chose a new strategy. This time, he feigned right before spinning to engage his master on the opposite side. Obi-Wan spun quickly, meeting the strike. Then, Ben switched back. Once again, he met his master's blade. It didn't surprise him really. Over the past seven years, he could count on one hand the number of times he had gotten under his master's defenses.

The inevitable came. He misstepped again. Obi-Wan was ready and quick to act on the mistake, knocking the saber from his apprentice's one-handed grip before touching his blade lightly to his neck.

"Not bad for just beginning," Obi-Wan said.

Ben sat down on the floor and looked up at his master apologetically. "I am sorry I didn't tell you, Master."

"Contrary to what you may believe, I do understand," Obi-Wan said gently as he sat down next to Ben. "It is not unheard of to change forms. I did after my master was killed. My only concern is whether or not you have released your frustrations over what happened on Geonosis to the Force."

"I have, Master," Ben said with great confidence. "This has nothing to do with revenge and definitely isn't some unhealthy obsession with the Sith. Dooku managed to cripple all three of you. I simply want to study his style to understand how best to fight him."

"I don't like the idea of you giving up Soresu. It is more useful than Makashi in the battle situations we are facing."

"I don't intend to," Ben replied. "This is just something I am learning on the side, a sort of project."

Obi-Wan studied him for a moment before letting out a sigh. "I spoke with the Council. There is talk of knighting you when we return to Coruscant."

"The Trials?" Ben asked. "I would be honored, Master."

"The Council feels your actions on Kamino and Geonosis adequately show that you are ready to be a Jedi Knight."

"What part of the mission impressed them, Master? The part where let the Fetts escape and got myself injured? The part where I hid life-threatening injuries from my master? The part where I fell from a transport and left my master to face Dooku without his padawan at his side?"

"No, Padawan," Obi-Wan said with a smile. "It was the part where you were led to be publicly executed because you refused to believe Dooku's lies and refused to join him. It is the part where you are not shying away from facing him again and already branching out on your own without my direction to figure out how to best do that," Obi-Wan said motioning to the still frozen holo of Dooku.

"It doesn't feel right. I always imagined you sending me away on my trials, Master Xanatos and Anakin having to sedate you for the duration."

Obi-Wan laughed before his expression grew solemn. "We lost too many on Geonosis. You were already very close to the Trials and I have no doubt you would have passed them with ease."

Ben nodded his head slowly.

"I think we should both get some sleep. We have a ship full of troops that are going to need an alert General and Commander tomorrow," he finally said, giving a slight tug to his apprentice's braid as he stood.

"Don't you think I'm getting a little old for that, Master," Ben protested as he stood to follow.

"Never." Obi-Wan smiled at him. "And I won't be able to do it much longer."

They made their way into the corridor, immediately greeted by two saluting clones.

"I don't think I am going to be able to get used to this," Ben groaned.

"I know what you mean, Padawan."