Title: My Kingdom
Author: rose_malmaison
Rating: FRAO
Genre: Slash, DiNozzo/Gibbs
Warnings: M/M, slash, sexual situations, language
Disclaimer: Borrowing the characters for further exploration.
Spoilers: Up to and including the end of season 3, Hiatus 2, which is 3x24
Summary: This story interlaces Hiatus 1 and Hiatus 2 with Tony and Gibbs' relationship.
After Gibbs is seriously hurt and suffers amnesia, Tony tries to get Gibbs to remember their relationship. Meanwhile Tony deals with the search for a terrorist, and fears that Gibbs is going to run out on him if he doesn't do something, and fast.
Length: 24,000 words, 10 chapters
A/N: My first long NCIS fic, written for the Challenge: Gibbs-Tony-Athon, August 2010. Thanks to my betas and especially to Mitch for his encouragement and help. Comments and feedback appreciated. I just discovered I had never posted this here, so here you are.
Prompt: from Tyleric
I'd give a kingdom
For one more day as a king of your world
I'd give a kingdom, for one more day.
I'd give it all for a heart
if I was a King I would give away my kingdom
Treasures and crowns wouldn't mean a thing
If I only had a heart, if I only had a heart...
~Kingdom for a Heart, by Sonata Arctica
My Kingdom
*** Chapter 1 ***
Tony sat in the darkened room in the ICU at Portsmouth Naval Hospital, an untouched cup of Starbuck's coffee by his side, and watched Gibbs sleep. It was 0200 last time he checked, and although he was bone-tired there was no way he could rest. Not while Gibbs was lying here like this. Not when there was a terrorist on the loose. Not while his mind whirred around, rehashing the events of the day, mentally scrolling through images of the crime scene again and again, forming new theories, plans and actions. Jesus, when would it ever stop? "When we stop the bastard," Tony whispered, his voice husky with emotion, "and you're back in your usual rare form, Jethro."
Despite his overly active brain, Tony leaned over the bed and gently held Gibbs' right hand - the one that was free of IVs and tubes. The callused fingers were limp but thankfully not lifeless. A tight knot formed in Tony's stomach when he thought how the small glass evidence jars now being processed in Abby's lab could just as well be holding little bits of Gibbs. The sight of the blast area on board the Bakir Kamir had been horrifying, even more appalling because it had been Gibbs in the middle of that explosion. It had been a close call. Way too close.
It was unfathomable that Gibbs had come out of it - been carried out, admittedly- with only a concussion and flash burns on his exposed skin. And there was the amnesia to think about, too. Only a concussion… For a couple of seconds, Tony smiled to himself when he considered that head trauma and even amnesia seemed infinitely preferable to the alternative: Gibbs suffering a grisly death, being blown apart by explosive material hidden in an oil drum. But as quickly as Tony's smile formed, it disappeared. He sighed, his exhaled breath rough and unsure.
Gibbs was such an integral part of his life that he couldn't imagine being without him. He wouldn't be able to go on if Gibbs didn't make it. For a panicky moment Tony thought Gibbs had stopped breathing, that he wasn't merely asleep, that… Tony took some deep breaths and struggled to regain the control that had rapidly drained away at the thought of a world without Gibbs. Shit, it didn't take much for him to lose it and that was not good. It must be because he hadn't had any sleep for a couple of days.
He'd rushed to Gibbs' bedside soon as soon as they had the investigation under control, only to find Director Shepard already there. He'd stood by her side and watched Ducky and the doctor fuss over the unconscious man. Tony had even made a joke with her about putting coffee in Gibbs' IV, but all the time he'd been screaming on the inside, demanding that Gibbs wake up, damn it, that he open his eyes and look at him. Couldn't he do that one small thing for him?
Tony stroked the back of Gibbs' hand with his thumb and concentrated on the simple action. He knew he had to remain calm. He needed to force those personal feelings that threatened to overwhelm him back into the dark place they came from. Now was not the time. He needed to be a rock, like Gibbs always was, in order to head the damned investigation. Tony said, "You'll give me hell if I don't get the job done right, Boss. Can't let you down."
Earlier that day…
Thirty-six hours after being nearly blown apart in a bombing, Gibbs awakened. Like most things Leroy Jethro Gibbs did, there was no half-measure in his action. He bolted upright and practically demanded the damned tube that was stuck down his throat be taken out. Witnessing the event was Captain Gelfand, and Dr. Mallard, who soon discovered that the Gibbs who had awakened so abruptly was not quite the same man he knew.
They NCIS agents heaved great sighs of relief when Director Shepard stood in the NCIS bullpen and delivered the good news that Captain Gelfand had told her by phone: Gibbs was awake. She then waited a beat before dropping the other shoe. "Well, Gibbs is blank about the last fifteen years. To him, it's 1991 and he's a Marine Gunny Sergeant wounded in Desert Storm."
Ziva broke the silence and asked the question that was on all of their lips. "He does not know he is an NCIS Special Agent?"
"I doubt it. He didn't recognize Ducky," was Jenny's clipped response.
Abby blurted, "Well, if he doesn't know who Ducky is, then there is no chance…"
No chance, Tony thought. Shocked, he spoke aloud without meaning to. "He'll never remember us."
Jenny took command and ordered the team to continue their investigation. They would regroup later. "We have an Abu Sayyaf terrorist to apprehend."
Tony watched her head upstairs, towards MTAC, and all he could think was, 'Fuck, fuck, FUCK, we can't let her run things.' And Ziva was sitting there eyeing Jenny's retreating figure, muttering about how Gibbs would never let her take over the investigation, as if to say, 'Tony, get off your butt and do something about it.' Do what Gibbs would do. Do what the old Gibbs would do, not the probie Gibbs.
So Tony hustled up the stairs, right on Madame Director's heels like a puppy begging for a bone. And when he caught up to her he reasoned and almost pleaded to make her understand that there was no way in hell he was going to easily give up his position as the team's senior special agent. That it wasn't in anyone's best interest. That he was the best man, the only man, for the job.
"I want you to understand that, in Gibbs absence," Tony said firmly, "as the team's senior special agent, this investigation is mine."
Jenny eyed him with a combination of barely disguised amusement and cool disdain. "Is it?"
"Yes, it is, Ma'am." He'd take care of the two-reeler, he said, and she'd oversee the big picture. She sort of smirked at him and said she'd always intended to. She'd let him go on and let him know, without a doubt, that she ruled the kingdom. Tony had to ask, "Then… why did you make me say all that just now?"
Shepard's reply surprised him and made up for any embarrassment he'd suffered. "I just wanted to see if you had as much guts as Gibbs," she said.
That will be the day, thought Tony, with a smile.
Supervisory Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo kept his team busy all day investigating, running down leads, hauling in anyone and everyone they could for questioning. Time passed quickly but Tony was itching to go and see Gibbs, and frustrated he couldn't get away.
Early in the evening, when Director Shepard returned from seeing Gibbs at the hospital, Tony went up to her office to report on their latest intel, which wasn't much. After the briefing, Tony asked how Gibbs was doing, trying, and barely managing, not to sound desperate for any crumb of information.
Jenny gazed out the window at the reflections of the lights on the Potomac as she related, almost dryly, how Gibbs had a meltdown when she'd questioned him about the events that led up to the bombing. "He wasn't able to give me any useful information about the bombing or the terrorist. I showed him photos and although he knew how vitally important it was, he couldn't remember. He has no clue about Pinpin Pula's next intended target. He…" She took a deep breath and finally turned to look straight at Tony. Her demeanor was calm and her words matter-of-fact. "They pumped him full of morphine to calm him down. Agent Gibbs doesn't even know who he is. He's lost fifteen years, DiNozzo. He's living in a past that he's kept a secret all these years."
From her tone, she could have as easily been saying that someone had lost their cat, but Tony could sense she was upset. Whether it was due to a dangerous terrorist being on the loose, or over Gibbs' tenuous condition, or because her former lover hadn't recognized her, Tony wasn't sure. Probably a combination of all three.
"Dr. Mallard talked to the doctor after Gibbs was… sleeping. They won't be able to assess him and the extent of his memory loss until tomorrow morning at the earliest. Gibbs is in no shape to provide us with any information," Jenny said tersely. "I have SecNav breathing down my neck so I expect you and your team to step up to the plate, DiNozzo."
Tony stepped out of the Director's office and stopped on the walkway to take a breather. He had no trouble taking orders from the woman. She seemed capable at her job and certainly had friends in the right places, but Jenny was wound so tight that Tony's neck muscles tensed by merely being in the same room with her. Where was Gibbs and his magic massage technique when he needed him?
Tony looked down at the agents in the bullpen. There was a full complement of personnel working hard even though it was well past the time most of them normally went home. They were as dedicated a bunch as he'd ever met and every last one of them was doing his damnedest to prevent another act of terrorism against an American port or Naval vessel. He'd never before encountered any members of Abu Sayyaf, but in his book, one bunch of terrorists was as bad as the next.
Below, Tony's own team members were intent on their own tasks. McGee was at his desk, hunched over, his eyes glued to his computer screen with as much fervor as if he was playing an online tactical game. Ziva was on the phone, and even from up on the walkway Tony could hear the strident tone in her voice. Ziva gestured angrily with her free hand then slammed down the phone and looked around. When she glanced up and spotted Tony she gestured she needed to talk to him, and went to meet him at the base of the stairs.
She was going out to follow up a lead, to talk to men on another ship. Although Ziva wasn't asking Tony's permission to go off on her mission, she had stopped to inform him of her plans. At least she gave him that much. Tony insisted she take another agent with her, and although Ziva relented, it was obvious she wasn't going to allow anyone to slow her down.
When she had left with a seasoned agent from the pool trying to keep up with her, Tony realized how good his teammates were at their jobs, and how little an amount of time it had taken for him to feel responsible for them. That realization caused a strange feeling in his stomach that had nothing to do with hunger, even though he hadn't eaten anything for hours. First things first - he placed a call for the delivery of a dozen pizzas.
It was late when Tony was finally able to find a few minutes and escape down to Autopsy. Dr. Mallard was at his desk, intently scribbling notes along the sidebar of a report, so Tony leaned against the wall and waited for the ME to finish. Ducky had driven all the way out to Portsmouth a second time late that afternoon, and he looked tired. When the ME had completed his task and looked up questioningly, Tony asked, "What's the latest on Gibbs?"
"He was still sleeping when I left and will probably be out for some time. It must have been quite frightening for Jethro to awaken like that, unsure of what was going on around him, being unable to remember a goodly portion of his past. And then to be pressured by the director to the point of upsetting himself, and being forcibly subdued…" His voice trailed off and he looked at Tony without his usual smile. He frowned in thought and said, "It never ceases to amaze me that no matter how well we believe we know our fellow man, he still has the ability to surprise us." He added sadly, "It appears that Jethro has not been forthcoming with his oldest and dearest friends about his first marriage."
Tony managed to keep a neutral expression on his face while thinking: shit, they must have found out about Shannon and Kelly. That's what Jenny had been so upset about earlier. Gibbs didn't know any better and, with his Swiss-cheese memory, believing it was 1991, he must have said something.
Gibbs had told Tony about his first wife, Shannon, and his daughter only recently. Apparently he never spoke of them to anyone else, not even to Ducky. The records had been buried deep, Gibbs had confessed to Tony. He'd called in a favor - a big one - years ago, and had any record of his first marriage expunged from his files. Although Gibbs had never named his old boss, Franks, as being the one who had changed the records for him, it was just the kind of favor the experienced investigator would have done for his probie.
There had been good reason to hide the aftermath of Shannon and Kelly's deaths, in light of the retribution the former Marine had exacted for his loved ones' deaths. It would take an awful lot of digging to find out the truth of the matter and Tony planned to feign ignorance should anyone ask him about it. He hated lying but he'd do anything for Gibbs.
Ducky fastened his pale gray eyes on Tony's green ones and frowned at what he saw in them. "Is there something troubling you, Anthony?"
Annoyed at himself for allowing Ducky to witness his emotions, Tony let out a huff of breath and said sarcastically, "Oh no, nothing's troubling me, other than seeing Gibbs come only inches from being laid out on one of these slabs, and not being able to find out where Pinpin Rice Paddy Dike's gone to ground, or what his next target is gonna be."
Ducky indicated for Tony to take a seat next to him. "Perhaps we should compare notes," the ME said patiently. Tony sat but he studied his hands and didn't volunteer anything. Ducky peered at him closely, then leaned back in his chair with his fingers laced together across his stomach. "I will begin, then. Jethro never mentioned to the Director, nor to me, that he'd had four wives, not three, as we were led to believe. He had a wife and a child who were both killed. Very sad. As we have both known him for many years it was a bit of a shock, to put it mildly."
Tony glanced at the older man's face. It was clear that Ducky was put out, and he didn't wonder at it. Jethro may not have lied to his friend, but he'd certainly omitted the entire truth. Ducky would take it as a serious breach of their friendship. Tony dropped his gaze to avoid the inquisitive eyes that seemed to bore right into his brain, and then immediately afterwards knew he'd made a mistake. Damn! Now Ducky would know he was hiding something. He should have brazened it out and kept eye contact, no matter how difficult it was to do so. All Tony could say was, "Some things are best kept to yourself, Ducky."
Ducky leaned forward and placed a gentle hand on Tony's knee. "But you already knew about them, about Gibbs' wife, Shannon, and their little girl, didn't you, my boy?" the ME inquired softly.
*** end chapter 1 ***