Since Black Widow came out today, marking both a movie that should have come out five years ago and Scarlett Johansson's last appearance in the MCU that we know of, I decided that I needed to post something with Black Widow in it. 'Once a Hero's' next chapter isn't ready yet, so I wrote a blurb of crack featuring her and Hawkeye! Hope it makes you chuckle or something. Be sure to review!
"...You… you doing okay Natasha?" Clint asked his partner in confusion.
"Of course, why do you ask?" The spy asked, reloading her guns.
"Nat, you've been shooting pictures of Bruce and copies of all his books and papers for the past four hours."
"Its just target practice."
"Uh huh… so it has nothing to do with Bruce… I guess dumping you?"
The redhead spun around with a snarl, pointing both of her pistols at the archer's face, "If you imply I'm lashing out because he left again I will shoot you." She warned.
Clint held up his hands, a deceptively calm and entertained look on his face, "Right right, you aren't pissed about being dumped, you just felt like shooting at our insanely powerful teammate and didn't want to get fisted." It was only a quick jump to the side that prevented him from getting a bullet in his leg.
"Leave, now."
"Fine fine, I'm going… you want me to bring you anything while you blow through all your bullets?"
"Cinnamon cappuccino and english muffins." She ordered.
"I live to bring you breakfast." He joked.
"And I have your wife's phone number on speed dial so don't push me!" She shot a half dozen bullets into Bruce's paper on… something about the uses of radiation in medicine.
And with that last threat, Clint was out the door. The last thing he wanted was to deal with his wife being called to the compound by a pissed off Natasha. When one of them was pissed it was a very, very bad idea to have them talk to the other. They always ended up agreeing on whatever was pissing the other off, creating a terrifying duo of pissed off super-assassin and former combat medic. Not something any sane man wanted to deal with.
He'd come back when he had her food and she was out of bullets.
Like I said, complete crack. It sucks, but it fulfills what it needs to.