View Count: 3562
I'm running out of excuses for my tardiness faster than Sonic out of couples counseling. One thing I'll never run out of is gratitude, however, so…
To veteran reviewers Cytisus and Cyan Quartz, new reviewers Noonui, oliviacat11, and DragonlordRynn, and hey, everyone making the aforementioned view counter go up: thank you!
Lava Reef
"Okay," said Sonic. "So I get that we dropped down here to get away from Eggman's surveillance."
"Yes," Knuckles replied.
"And I get that you also want to go to your Fortress of Solitude to check up on things."
"Yes."
"That's all well and good, but…"
Still clinging to Knuckles' back as the echidna scaled the underside of a near-horizontal rock wall, Sonic looked down.
"...why would you ever put your palace in a volcano?"
"You have to admit," Tails said, "it's pretty secure that way."
"Well yeah, the floor is lava," Sonic chuckled. "Not exactly a warm welcome."
Tails needed no reminder of the subterranean cavern's temperature, punny or otherwise. Knuckles used all four limbs to climb, and piggybacking on Sonic was akin to seeking Croakage by Cobalt Keratin, so the only arrangement that made sense was for Tails to play the role of the Kit Cold Cut in the Rodent Reuben sandwich.
By now, though, he'd decided that grilled cheese was probably more accurate, and Sonic's back was probably more comfortable. An entire adventure spent jamming himself between two hotheads was already bad enough when said role was kept in the figurative realm.
As the echidna continued to climb, Sonic lived up to his name by interrupting the silence again.
"Tails, you don't have any more of that soda, do you?"
"No, sorry."
"Worth asking."
Tails shot Sonic a worried look. "I think you had a fever earlier; you might be dehydrated right now…"
"Probably did, definitely am," came the nonchalant reply.
Knuckles snorted. "And you argued with me when I insisted on stopping for a drink at the bottom of the IceCap mountain."
"Oh c'mon, I was totally onboard."
"Tails?" Knuckles prompted.
"He threatened to hold your head underwater if you didn't approach the spring on your own volition."
"...fine. And that's why all drinks should come in cans. Oh well. I need to stop talking about this. I can't be the only parched one right now."
"You'd be the worst though," Knuckles said. "Maybe if you stopped laughing yourself to tears..."
"Maybe if you stopped being hilarious..." Sonic fired back.
"It wasn't just me that had you weak in the knees. I'd almost think you were enjoying all that pyramid insanity."
"You bet your Lego Shoes I was! Kinda sad we got away from the doc haunting us."
"I'm not," Knuckles said as he finally pulled his team up to a flat ledge of lumpy, beige volcanic rock. "It's disturbing how far you took that challenge."
"Hey, never question my ability to annoy the snot outta Eggman."
"Or anyone else," Knuckles mumbled, stretching his now-free limbs.
Sonic snickered, then cast a thoughtful glance at some metallic piping nearby. "Are we sure we've gotten away from him, though?"
"It's a good question," Tails mused. "Knuckles, did Eggman build these pipes?"
"No, my ancestors did. If you're looking for Eggman's work..."
Knuckles led them around a bend and pointed to some machinery on the ground that was clearly past its prime.
Sonic whistled. "Okie dokie. So the moral is, don't skimp on the SPF."
Tails nodded. "All equipment has a finite lifespan, especially inside an active volcano. Honestly, it's far more surprising that the Echidna handiwork is at all functional."
"They planned well for it," Knuckles said. "What they were protecting here was of the highest importance."
"And Eggman was really here on a temporary basis," Tails added knowingly, "So even if he installed surveillance here, it would have fallen apart by now...probably…"
There was a pause.
"Yo, Eggman!" Sonic hollered at the rocky ceiling. "Your plans are stupid!"
There was another pause.
"And so is your mustache!"
There was a third pause.
"NO COPYRIGHT LAW IN THE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO-"
"STOP already!" Knuckles snapped.
"Aw," Sonic pouted.
"Even if he can hear us, he's not going to fall for that a second time," Tails concluded. "I think the best bet is to just be cautious and-"
"Tape Sonic's mouth shut?"
"...not say anything we shouldn't," Tails finished evenly.
Knuckles continued to lead the group through the rocky path.
"So if the volcano's destroying equipment," Sonic said, "won't we get seared to four-star perfection ourselves?"
Knuckles shook his head. "Not if you don't jump in lava, don't live here, and don't enter while it's showing warning signs of flaring up. Which it isn't. So just use common sense."
"I've decided your island's allergic to common sense," Sonic said, shrugging.
"Since when did you get to decide that?"
"Oh I dunno, probably sometime between having my tail whupped by a giant mushroom and being chased across the desert by a literal tsunami."
Knuckles looked at Tails for backup, only for his hopes to be shattered by an apologetic head shake.
"He has a point..."
"Fine," Knuckles sighed. "So we'll just have to be alert and ready to escape if something happens."
"Barring an emergency, though, we should take it easy to avoid getting heatstroke," Tails said. "We haven't had anything to drink in a while and it's really hot in here."
"Okay, so maybe like, a power walk," Sonic said, moving briskly to the front of the group in demonstration.
"Spikeball!" Knuckles barked.
Sonic turned, raising an eye ridge. "Yes, Mop Head?"
Knuckles yanked him backwards. Shortly thereafter, a large metal spikeball crashed through the rock wall like an attention-starved homecoming queen, then went about its merry way down the nearest incline.
"Ah. So Eggman's traps do still work," Sonic noted.
"Those are Echidna traps... duck, Tails!"
The fox made a weird squawking noise, his face twisting like he was about to sneeze. Knuckles shoved him down as a flame jet blasted overhead.
"Woo?" Sonic attempted.
Knuckles threw his hands up. "Are either of you going to listen to me!?"
"Sorry," Tails mumbled.
"I think your ancestors mixed up the words hospitality and hostility," Sonic snickered. "Tails, what's the fancy description for that again?"
"Um, do you mean confusing a near-homonym for a synonym?"
"Sure, that sounds … delicious, oh man! Tails! Remember those cinnamon rolls we got in Central City? With the raspberry-lemonade slushies?"
Knuckles stared at the chatty blueberry. "...what in the world are you going on about?"
"Duh, we were ...ehh, Tails, what were we talking about again?"
Tails frowned. "Getting some water in you as soon as possible."
"Just don't get it on me. So for real, how much of the stuff we ran into before was Eggman's?" Sonic asked as they began walking again, albeit more carefully.
"Most of it wasn't," Knuckles said. "I didn't let him put anything here until the Death Egg crashed on the volcano. I needed him to get it off, and if I resisted too hard, he'd realize I was hiding something."
Tails nodded. "So, you didn't actually tell Eggman where the Hidden Palace was before that?"
"Of course not," Knuckles huffed. "How stupid do you think I..."
He trailed off, then sighed. "Don't answer that."
"Oh, I wasn't going to…" Tails tried to reassure him.
"Sonic was."
"I would never!" the hedgehog insisted, his grin wider than Eggman's waist.
"Anyway, that lasted until I realized a certain two intruders had made it into the Palace..."
"...and you were so keen on beating the stuffing out of us that you accidentally led Eggman in," Sonic finished.
"Right," Knuckles admitted. "I was in a blind panic and got careless."
"Hard to blame you on that one," Tails reassured him as Sonic began mumbling about stuffing. "We had absolutely no idea what we'd stumbled upon."
"I've since blocked that entrance and made a different one," said Knuckles. "But I couldn't believe it. I still don't get it..."
Tails frowned. "Yeah. The chances of us finding it like that were infinitesimal. It's almost like we were led there."
"By who, though?"
Tails shook his head. "Who, or even what? Fate? I don't know, but it's food for thought."
"Speaking of," Sonic chimed in, "these walls look like granola bars."
"Ah!" Knuckles started.
"They totally do, right!?" Sonic gushed, holding his hand up for a high-five.
He didn't get one.
"I've finally figured out which pyramid we were in," said Knuckles.
"Hah! Great, so now we can go back in time and tell our past selves where to..."
Sonic trailed off as Knuckles plopped a basketball-sized rock in his arms, then raised an eye ridge. "...wow. You shouldn't have."
"Care to roll that down the hill ahead for me?"
Sonic tried his best to hide the considerable effort it took to oblige the request. Unsurprisingly, the rock rolled down the hill. He pumped his fist in triumph.
"Eyy, congrats Newton! Gravity works after all!"
A moment later, roughly two hundred thirty-eight flame jets shot across the inclined hallway.
"Oh."
Knuckles stepped backwards, pulling the other two with him right before another spikeball crashed through the wall to their left.
"How are fig newtons made anyway..." Sonic mused as they watched it roll down the hill.
"The flame traps are still going," Tails noted. "So how do we get past here?"
"Easy," Sonic said. "I got this."
"Wait, we can-"
Ignoring the echidna, Sonic sprinted down the hill. The only things missing were a leather catsuit and flagrantly impractical stilettos as he deftly rolled, backflipped, cartwheeled, and handsprung himself through the tight web of fire jets.
"Okay," he called back up after reaching the bottom with an untorched bottom. "So there's a lever or somethin' to shut these off for you?"
Knuckles shook his head, then shoved aside the small amount of rubble piled in the spikeball-sized hole in the wall. Tails silently followed him down the perfectly amicable hallway that ran parallel to its pyrotechnic twin.
Sonic watched a rock door open to his side and snickered as his friends joined him. "Hi!"
"You know you could have just listened to me, right?" Knuckles deadpanned.
"Eh, no skin off my teeth."
Knuckles frowned. "Am I supposed to know what that means?"
"He meant his back," Tails clarified, also frowning. "Sonic, you really need to pace yourself in this heat. You're mixing idioms."
"You worry too much," Sonic said as he wiped a bead of sweat off his forehead. "And I would love some trail mix."
"Sonic," Knuckles growled, "if you get yourself sick again-"
"Knuckles, please stop with the threats," Tails interrupted. "Sonic, if you get yourself sick again, I'm punching you myself."
Knuckles let off a loud snort.
"Okay, okay," Sonic chuckled. He then paused and made a pensive face. "Knuckles...the Chaos Emeralds can be used for healing injuries, right?"
"Yes…? Depending on the severity of the injury, the number of Emeralds, and the skill of the user..."
"So, couldn't they work on sickness too?"
The echidna sighed knowingly. "Yes."
"Okay," Sonic said, now grinning. "So were my 'obviously mild' symptoms not worth it, or did you just forget?"
Knuckles rolled his eyes. "I'll have you know I did want to use the Emeralds we had to wake you up faster. Did you forget they're giving me the silent treatment right now?"
"...oh."
"And that's the other reason we're down here. I need to know what's wrong with the Emeralds. And with me."
"What exactly can you check in the Palace?" Tails asked.
Knuckles opened his mouth, then hesitated.
"O-oh, you're right," Tails said quickly, "better to not answer that out loud."
Sonic nodded. "Anyone up for charades, then?"
"Sure," deadpanned Knuckles. He made an exaggerated forward point as he continued walking.
"You're no fun," Sonic declared.
"We aren't here to have fun," Knuckles retorted. He chose a random spot on the wall and shoved a rock aside, revealing another path.
"Humor is the spice of life, my friend. Try making a funny once in a while, for your health."
Knuckles shook his head as he selected a prong in the subsequent fork and his friends followed dutifully.
"Oh man, that spice cake we had at Cream's birthday par-"
"Is it getting hotter?" Tails interrupted.
"Yup," Sonic replied. "You're actively shedding."
"No I'm not…" Tails argued, then ran his fingers down one arm. Several strands of fur floated whimsically to the ground. "Okay, I am. But that was just a remnant of my winter coat. I hope."
He paused for a moment, and his shoulders drooped.
"I really regret having fur right now," he whimpered.
The hallway they were in contained numerous metal pipes and valves, all leading to a rock door at the end. Knuckles detoured to a side wall and pushed a small rock in.
A valve next to Sonic abruptly released a burst of white smoke at his face. He jumped backwards, fanning the air and coughing a few times.
"Ugh," he grunted as the smoke dissipated, "what was that?"
Knuckles turned to stare at him. He stared back, suddenly very still.
"Knuckles? What?"
The echidna responded in complete gibberish.
Sonic's quills started to bristle.
"Tails," he whispered, "is he...tell me it's not just…w-what did he say…?"
"I said it's just steam and it won't harm you," Knuckles replied calmly. Then he continued walking towards the door.
Sonic blinked slowly.
"Um...was that in Echidnean tongue?" Tails asked.
"Yep."
Sonic sputtered out a string of disjointed syllables before finally managing a "you!" at the end.
"Did I do it? Did I make a funny?"
"...I'm so gonna get you for that," Sonic finally chuckled, shaking his head.
"Although," Tails mused, "there was this pinkish smoke the last time we were here that-"
"-looked like cotton candy-"
"-and was pretty unpleasant to breathe in," Tails finished.
"Right," Knuckles said, stepping on a hidden block switch. "but I know where we are, so we can avoid those traps as long as the pipes haven't…"
The door opened, and the air in the next chamber looked like the background on a unicorn political ad.
"...been damaged," Knuckles finished, facepalming.
Sonic stepped back. "Can we hold our breath and run through it?"
"No; it's too far, and I need to be able to see where I'm going."
The pink smoke began to billow towards the heroes. Tails ran to the front of the group and fanned the hazard back with his namesakes while talking to Knuckles.
"Is there another path?"
Knuckles stared at him. "Keep doing that."
"Um," Tails began, then trailed off as Knuckles picked him up and pointed his Propeller Posterior into the room. "Oh."
Sonic cracked up. "What's my job? Please say photography."
"Following," answered Knuckles.
"And keeping the wisecracks to yourself," added the visibly-mortified leafblower.
Knuckles charged into the room, holding Tails out rear-first. Sonic kept close behind in his teammates' wake to stay out of the heavy smoke.
The echidna repeatedly stopped and started, quickly surveying his obscured surroundings as he navigated through the branching, cloudy halls. Eventually, he tripped on a rocky protrusion, and as he righted himself, a telltale click sounded.
"Shoot! Sonic-"
"Gotcha!"
Sonic turned around and jogged in reverse, using his arms to brace himself against Knuckles' back as the echidna sped up. Several arrows, pebbles, paper airplanes, and other such flaming objects fired at the bizarrely-arranged troupe, only to be deflected by the rapid kicks from its back end.
Knuckles came to a sudden halt after a straight shot down a long hallway.
"What-" Sonic started.
"Hold your breath, me, and each other," Knuckles instructed as he handed Tails to Sonic.
The other two nodded and watched as the cloud began encroaching on them and reduced their visibility to nothing. The echidna stood still, staring ahead.
A loud crash sounded directly in front of them as the silhouette of a spiky-bottomed platform slammed through the ceiling. A flame jet soon began raising it off the ground, scantly illuminating the sharp turn directly past it.
Knuckles waited until the platform levitated high enough, then began running forward. Sonic followed, holding the echidna's shoulder with one arm and his sidekick in the other.
There was a distinct lack of turning, and Sonic heard the impact of Knuckles charging through the rock wall instead. He then felt a large mitten grab his arm and yank him forward.
The sound of the spikes hitting the ground again was quickly drowned out by the wind tunnel they'd been sucked into. After several moments spent roleplaying hairballs in a vacuum cleaner, the heroes were ejected down through the ceiling of another cavern. Knuckles immediately caught a hanging metal bar with his free arm.
"You can breathe now," he instructed the teammates in his grasp.
Tails gladly obeyed, thankful for the lack of princess colors in the air. Granted, said air was also stiflingly hot, but it was no surprise given their surroundings.
"Cool, more lava," Sonic announced, looking down.
Knuckles threw the others to solid ground, then dropped and began gliding over the red pool himself.
A burst of magma shot upwards and a strangled grunt escaped the echidna as he swerved to avoid it, then landed roughly on the platform near his friends.
"That's not good," he said, staring as he brushed himself off and promptly resumed walking. "I don't like the way the volcano's acting."
The lava pool remained still, apparently aware it was under probation.
Sonic took a longer assessment of the tall, spacious cavern. It resembled an indoor water park, given, of course, the quick mental substitution of multi-level floors and doorways with knobbly rock, and waterfall-inlet pools with molten death.
"Well, I don't see a giant schnozz hangin' over us this time, so that's an improvement at least," he concluded.
"Why isn't there a giant hole, though?" Tails asked, pointing at the closed ceiling. "Isn't that where the Death Egg crashed?"
Knuckles nodded. "The volcano's repaired itself since."
"Wow..." was all Tails could manage. As he walked, his Rump Rotor started up again, if only to fan disgustingly hot air against his disgustingly hot back. "But...it's still cooler in the Palace than it is here?"
"Much," Knuckles confirmed as he led his friends through one of the large cavern's many doorways.
Tails sighed. "The logic of that should bother me, but I'm excited about it. I'll just pretend it's like, uh…"
"Fried ice cream," Sonic supplied.
"Yeah," Tails said, trying to stifle the longing whine in his voice.
The trio walked through the hallway for several silent moments before Sonic burst out laughing.
Tails blinked. "What?"
"I was just imagining you with shaved fur."
The fox squeaked indignantly and hugged his tails. But moments later, he became just as distracted as his teammates upon walking into the next cave.
In the center of the room stood a tree. It was very large, and also appeared to be very dead.
"What..." Knuckles breathed.
Sonic cocked his head. "Methinks that's not normal."
"No, not at all, I…"
"Knuckles," asked Tails, "when was the last time you were in this specific cave?"
"Probably a few years, but…"
"...but a tree this size would take hundreds to grow, even in a non-oppressive environment…" Tails finished.
"It's not, like, a sculpture or something, is it?" Sonic attempted.
Knuckles blinked. "Smart question, actually."
"I try occasionally," Sonic retorted with a shrug.
They cautiously walked up to the tree, but it looked more real the closer they approached it. Some dry leaves barely hung from the branches, while others audibly crunched beneath the heroes' shoes as they stepped over the large roots unevenly lining the rocky floor.
Knuckles pressed a hand against the trunk of the tree. The bark easily crumbled away to reveal dry wood.
"It is real?" Tails gasped.
"Is there something weird on the inside?" Sonic wondered.
Knuckles set his jaw. "I'm going to find out. Stand back."
"Uh, I don't mean you have to actually-"
Knuckles sent a hard punch into the center of the ex-greenery, then gave it a shove. It toppled to the other side of the room with a crash.
Tails waited for the splinters, acorns, and sticks to stop flying, then walked to the broken trunk. "Um…"
The wood in its center would have been unnaturally uniform, if not for the thousands of holes making it resemble a massive, dry sponge.
"What kind of pattern is that?" Knuckles mused.
"Kinda looks like an Aero bar…"
Knuckles didn't bother asking Sonic for clarification. "Tails, have you ever seen anything like this?"
Tails paced around its perimeter in silent thought.
"...or Swiss cheese…" Sonic continued mumbling.
The fox finally shook his head. "I'm at a loss. I'm not sure what would cause a porous growth like this."
"At least we know why it died, though," Sonic said, pointing at the exposed wood.
"Something besides the heat and the holes?" Knuckles asked.
Sonic grinned. "Because it had no rings."
The silence that followed was deader than the tree itself.
"Tails, stop me from punching him."
"Knuckles, please don't punch him."
"Okay."
"Ergo," Sonic concluded wisely, "we should totes go for onion rings back on the mainland. The flame-broiled kind."
"Flame..." Knuckles repeated, then his eyes got very wide. He took off sprinting towards one corner of the room, now with a fallen tree partially obscuring what appeared to be an exit.
Before he could reach it, a flame jet fired near the opening, igniting the downed foliage faster than trolls on a newly-minted Chao in Space forum thread.
Knuckles let off a frustrated roar as he banged a uey and ran towards the area they'd entered from.
"So that path is toast, huh," Sonic said while the team jogged back through the hallway now functioning as a horizontal chimney.
"At least until it burns out," Knuckles sighed.
Tails' ears twitched. "What's that noise? Do acorns pop?"
"Knuckles, are they edible?" Sonic asked, looking back.
"What?"
Sonic had already zipped off. He returned a moment later.
"No, they are not," he lisped as he brushed his tongue off. "Also, they're on fire."
"What would possess you to- ...oh no."
The heroes stopped upon re-entering the large central cavern. Watched lava never boiled, but the corollary unfortunately appeared to have been true as well.
"Bubble-bubble-tea-and-trouble?" Sonic asked.
"Yes," Knuckles answered, quickly looking around. The hallway behind them was still filled with thick, unrelenting smoke.
"Is there another Palace entrance from here?" Tails attempted.
"Not until I make one," Knuckles decided as he began jumping down to a lower level nearby. He took a quick note of his surroundings, then smashed his fists against a rocky wall at the bottom of an incline.
The rocks crumbled, revealing more rocks.
"That's not a path," Sonic observed.
"It takes time!" Knuckles barked as he continued punching.
"We don't have time," Sonic warned, pointing at the lava that had gotten too big for its britches and was now starting to flow, slowly but surely, towards the dip they were in. "Can't we take one of those doorways?"
"They're from the other pyramids, not exits. Buy me time!"
Tails bit his lip, then picked up one of the dislodged rocks and ran up the hill with it.
"Sonic, help me make a dam!"
The hedgehog followed suit with a rock of his own. They placed their rocks as close to the encroaching lava as they could, and repeated the process a few times.
While Sonic continued the cycle, Tails stopped at the bottom and looked up. The amount of lava they were trying to redirect was wildly disproportionate to the amount of stackable rocks.
"We need something else...Knuckles!"
"What?" answered the debris-spewing hole.
"Do the other pyramids have trash chutes too?"
"Bad time for-"
"Was scrap metal thrown in them?"
Tails' friends finally got the memo and congregated to him. Knuckles grabbed Sonic's hand and pointed it at an opening on a high ledge across the cave.
"That door," he instructed. "Two lefts, a right, another left, then up the curved slope."
"Aye-aye!"
Sonic tore off towards the door and Knuckles returned to the hole he was digging.
A few moments later, the hedgehog returned carrying what appeared to be a large copper penny. He handed it to Tails and sprinted towards the door again.
The fox stacked the object on the makeshift dam, and as he straightened up, the rodent courier was by his side again, this time with a massive soup ladle.
"What-" was all Tails heard before Sonic was again out of earshot.
A basketball hoop plopped beside the fox. "-seriously-"
"-why-" inquired the seesaw.
"-dingbat-" agreed the kitchen sink.
The soundtrack of Sonic's fragmental incredulity continued to accompany Tails' rubbish-stacking and Knuckles' wall-digging.
The echidna's fists eventually found free space and he ran back out.
"Get in!" he yelled to Tails.
The fox started to run over, then noticed a conspicuous lack of ranting. "Where's Sonic!?"
"I'll get him! You need to unscrew the pipe valve at the end."
Tails pulled out his multitool as he ran into the tunnel.
Knuckles started to head towards the appropriate door on the cave's far end. Sonic eventually ran out, carrying what appeared to be a flat traffic sign with a loop-de-loop decal, and starting to look notably disoriented.
"Over here!" Knuckles called, successfully getting his attention.
The connecting ledge Sonic had been using had since crumbled, leaving a large, lava-bottomed gap between source and destination. He took a running start and leapt, holding the sign above his head as a makeshift parasail.
A burst of lava shot towards the hedgehog.
"Look out!" Knuckles yelled. He hurled a metal object towards the molten blast, heavily disrupting it. Sonic twisted in mid-air, using the sign to shield himself from the rest of the spatter.
The hedgehog landed on the ledge with an inch to spare. He tossed the sign aside and tried to jog down the subsequent hill towards Knuckles, but ended up tumbling down instead.
Knuckles ran to meet Sonic and pulled him to his feet. When the latter didn't immediately start sprinting, the former made the executive decision to practice his fireman's carry for the rest of the escape.
"Bye, fruit punch..." Sonic droned groggily, holding out a hand towards the lava in hot pursuit.
Knuckles ran into his new tunnel and found Tails having just completed unscrewing a metallic panel on the large pipe at the end. The tunnel's dim light grew brighter and redder as lava began to fill behind them.
"Is this-?" Tails began.
"Perfect," said Knuckles. He pried back the panel, exposing another vacuum pipe that he hoisted Tails into. Then he tossed Sonic in, turned around, and punched the wall of the tunnel, causing it to collapse behind him.
The tiny space went pitch-black, and he jumped into the pipe himself, pulling the panel shut behind him as he was sucked down. Several moments later, he felt himself getting thrown onto a hard floor in another dark space.
"Guys?" he prompted breathlessly.
"Present," Tails confirmed from nearby.
"Sonic?"
"Whackest dumpster fire ever."
Author's Nopes, 7/21/21:
I really like making Knuckles say "oh no."
Speaking of lava...I've been informed that the lava lamp in my profile picture looks like it's making a Rayman Raving Rabbids face. That is to say, it's screaming BWAAAAAHHHH instead of sitting there looking chill. Something that took me eight years to not notice. I have to know: how is everyone else seeing this?!
I have to thank Cytisus for brainstorm-sparking some of the goofiness in here, including the idea of making popcorn and the what-on-Earth-were-you-incinerating gag.
So for a piece of fun irony, I had a bad cold while writing a big chunk of this and -
...
...oh, hang on...
...
..what's…?
...
║․․․․․․․․․․․․․․║․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․║
║GREMLIN║․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․║
║․ISLAND․║․․․․․․․․․․․․․HIDDEN PALACE․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․․║
╚――――-╝――――――――――――――――――╝
A dim violet light began to illuminate three panting critters splayed out on a smooth, mercifully chilled floor.
Tails blinked. "Did the temperature really just drop that rapidly?"
"And did a title card just flash on the screen?" Sonic mumbled.
Tails sat up, looked at him, and cringed. "Oh boy, don't get up yet. Your face is bright red."
"Like a tomato. A ripe, juicy…"
"Shh…" Tails soothed. "Just focus on cooling down for a moment."
"Knuckles, I love what you've done with the place," Sonic said, turning his head to press his other cheek against the cold ground.
The addressee got up and lumbered to a wall, pressing his palm against it. The area brightened further, illuminating the bluish-purple crystals protruding in haphazard fashion from the rocky walls and ceilings. Farther off, a set of turquoise pillars began to form a structure more deliberate in appearance.
"Wow," Tails breathed as he took in the sight. "I forgot how much it looked like the inside of a geode."
"I kinda always just thought it looked like rock candy," Sonic said.
Knuckles watched the hedgehog pick himself up. "Sonic, are you alright?"
"I'm fi-"
"And be honest."
Sonic smiled. "I'm okay. I'm badly dehydrated and I overheated for a moment back there, but thankfully it's cooler here. Way past cooler."
"Good, because there's water here too...no, the drinkable type. Calm down."
Sonic relaxed with a sheepish chuckle.
Knuckles walked to a nearby rock wall and pulled at a group of crystals until it broke off, exposing a stream of clean water that had been flowing through.
"Sonic, you should go first," Knuckles instructed. "And don't worry. It's a tiny stream. It's not going to jump out and grab you-"
Sonic had already jammed his face deep into said stream and was working hard and fast at his new goal of becoming the world's first living water balloon.
"...or anything." Knuckles finished superfluously.
"There aren't any metal pipes or anything," Tails said while staring at the wall. "Where is this stream coming from?"
"It's an outlet of Hydrocity. The island has an internal network that branches and spreads throughout most of the terrain as needed. And it's self-repairing."
"Like a circulatory system..."
"Hmm?"
"I…I guess thinking too hard about that analogy is a little disturbing, but your island is like nothing I've ever seen. The way it adapts, reacts, heals...when you're on the mainland, does it seem boring to you?"
"Yes...the first time I visited and reflexively tried to get an understanding of the ground beneath me, I couldn't figure out why it was so empty."
"So it was like talking to a rock?"
"You could say that."
Tails turned to hide the sudden laughter threatening to overtake him, then did a double-take at their other teammate. "Um, Sonic? You're going to burst at that rate."
The hedgehog downed another gallon or so before he finally pulled himself off the stream and wiped his face with a relieved sigh.
"That's better. Knuckles, no chance you also have a shawarma dispenser down here?"
"What's a… Tails, is he mocking me?"
"No, shawarma is a wrapped sandwich with a grilled rotisserie protein and hummus and vegetables and …"
Tails' explanation ended in a whimper.
"Right, your turn," Knuckles directed, nudging the fox towards the stream.
Sonic took the opportunity to stretch his limbs out, idly taking in the scenery as he strolled about the room. After passing a smooth crystalline wall, his eyes widened.
"Uh...whaaaaa…"
He jumped a few steps backwards for a second look.
"WHAT IN THE WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE."
Tails jerked back. "What's wrong?" he rasped through the water he'd inhaled.
"My face..." Sonic said, gawking at his reflection.
"Oh," Tails noted, clearing his throat before continuing his drink.
Knuckles raised an eye ridge. "You forgot you had a bruise there?"
"No...I just didn't realize how stupid I looked."
"I wasn't expecting that kind of honesty from you."
"With the bruise, ya jerk," Sonic retorted dryly, patting his now-coughing sidekick on the back. "The thing's so obnoxious I'm starting to think you did it on purpose."
"Trust me, if I was trying to hurt you, you'd know. Besides, given your normal behavior I'd almost think you liked getting hurt."
"Says the guy hiding his mancave in an Easy-Bake Oven."
Tails instantly regretted his recurring greed as his nose became a water gun.
"Why is your bruise suddenly a problem again?" Knuckles continued.
Sonic gave his reflection more scrutiny. "I just...I've really been running around for half an adventure with this ridiculous mark on my face? No wonder no one takes me seriously."
"That's not the only reason," Knuckles deadpanned.
Sonic poked at a small tuft of askew quills. "Ugh, is it 'cause of this stupid cowlick you gave me too?"
"Keep going," Knuckles prompted encouragingly.
"...better not. My li'l bro's gonna need CPR if we don't put the kebab on this."
Tails finally gave up on drinking as he giggle-choked his way off the stream. "Kibosh. The bruise will go away, Sonic. Just give it a few weeks."
"Well, in the meantime our pal here had better watch his back."
Said back was already facing them unwatched as its owner hydrated himself.
"...or maybe we can make him laugh too," the hedgehog mused.
"That'll be a little more difficult," Tails said.
"Yeah, he's a hard celery," Sonic agreed. "Well, now that we can talk business, have you been hearing any Chaos Emeralds?"
"Not in the volcano I wasn't," Tails said. "Let me see..."
The fox pulled out his detector, the green Emerald still present in its socket. He slowly turned the external dial, flicking his ears and mumbling to himself.
"Red...yellow...blue…purple...hmm...that's not good..."
"Yeah?" Sonic prompted.
"I can hear the Chaos Emeralds we have with us, but not the last two...not even a little..." Tails explained.
"So what's that mean for us?"
Tails began pacing.
"There's been a lot of background noise since we left the pyramid, regardless of how I'm turning the dial, so it's possible the noise floor is drowning out my ability to hear anything else. Or...maybe the cyan and gray frequencies are out of the band-pass range of this filter...but, no...no, I checked the full spectrum on the surface and I could tune to six distinct maxima with at least some volume, which means it should theoretically be able to pick up all the Chaos Emeralds, minus the baseline green one of course, unless maybe they've been moved out of range, or maybe the intense heat, thick terrain, and network of metal pipes here are causing excessive attenuation and/or static or-"
"Is your hammerspace waterproof?" Sonic asked.
Tails blinked. "...huh?"
"Water's evil. You got licked by a tidal wave. Kinda surprised your detector worked after."
"Oh...true, that could've...let's just keep moving," Tails sighed as the echidna rejoined them. "Knuckles, you had some task in mind here, right?"
"Right."
Knuckles led the group down the hall towards the pillared structure, then paused and turned down another crystal-encrusted hallway instead.
"What's over here?" Tails asked as the surroundings darkened.
The echidna walked to a shelf-like wall and used a pair of flint rocks to ignite a mounted torch. He replaced the flint with a lump of chalky material, then pulled the torch off the wall and aimed it ahead.
Sonic's subsequent whistle of awe echoed throughout the room, a lengthy hall lined with innumerable wall murals.
"Oh wow," Tails breathed. "I had no idea there were so many of these. Are they all prophetic?"
"Some of them, at least," Knuckles answered.
"So can't you use them to tell the future, then?" Sonic asked, glancing at the designs revealed by the traveling torch light.
"In theory," Knuckles said, "but their meanings aren't so obvious at first glance."
Tails nodded. "They usually only make sense in hindsight…"
"Okay, but like, that mural of Perfect Chaos wrecking Station Square," Sonic persisted, "...even if you didn't know exactly what was trying to destroy the world, how did no one realize it was going to be seriously bad?"
"To be fair," Tails said, "you didn't recognize the mural of yourself the first time we were here."
Sonic hesitated, then rolled his eyes. "Look, they royally botched my proportions. Knuckles, are they all that convoluted?"
"Well, take this one," Knuckles said, stopping and pointing.
The mural in question seemingly showed a large, flaming, purple chicken. It flew angrily above what appeared to be a much smaller, blue, fanged gorilla, who was lifting a barrel overhead. Nearby was a tiny flying onion holding out a brown square. The entire scene was surrounded by elephants trumpeting to the heavens.
"See? How would you possibly decipher-"
"Been there, done that," Sonic said mid-yawn.
Knuckles frowned. "You...recognize this?"
"Uh-huh."
"It happened already? Are you sure?"
"Yeap."
Knuckles squinted at Sonic as though he'd just announced a new line of designer swim trunks, then shrugged.
"...alright then."
Using the chalk he'd grabbed earlier, the echidna drew a checkmark underneath the mural.
"You're logging which events have already passed," Tails realized. "Smart idea!"
"Now I really want chocolate," Sonic mumbled as they began strolling again.
"What did that writing say underneath it?" Tails asked.
"Something like world adventure, which didn't really help me," Knuckles explained. "I've also been trying to group murals by era, judging by the art style, but I've only had a little success with that."
"Your ancestors didn't like breaking the cookie cutter," Sonic tried.
"And also this problem," Knuckles said, pointing at a group of murals obscured by a thick crystal coating.
"You didn't get to them in time," Tails lamented.
"The other way around, actually. If I tried to remove the crystal I'd damage the image, but I've seen crystal eventually fall off on its own, revealing a flawless picture."
Tails' eyes widened. "Like you were now meant to see it?"
"Exactly."
Sonic pretended to not notice the slightly spooked fuzzball inching closer to his side.
"So," the echidna continued. "Every time I go down here, I check off known events, and I also look for newly-revealed images."
He noticed a grouped trio of murals off in the distance, then pointed to them.
"Like these..."
The team approached, and Knuckles illuminated the closest one for a better look.
In contrast to the previous images, the mural in question was barely detailed. A green orb resided in the center, exaggerated lines of effect surrounding it. And a small brown creature with two tails was apparently getting knocked backwards by it.
Tails' fur decided poof was in vogue. "Is...is that…?"
Sonic pursed his lips, then snorted out the laugh that refused to be contained. "Looks like you forgot to duck, Tails. And they forgot your dodgeball uniform?"
"...they can leave it out," the fox finally sulked. "Next, please."
Knuckles dutifully moved his torch to the next mural, which was similarly frugal on the details end. Its main feature was a scarlet being with long locks and a zagged tail, falling headfirst. One arm was stretched out to its side and wrapped in a vertical green spiral that spanned the length of the image.
Sonic didn't even try to stifle his laughter this time. "You do love those vines, huh Tarzan?"
"Whatever a tarzan is," Knuckles mumbled, rolling his eyes as he took his own initiative in progressing to the last image in the group.
The backdrop of the mural was a large splotch of light blue paint. Sketched in its center was a small, spiky creature in a darker shade of blue. Upright and splayed out, the creature's head was tilted back as several white dots escaped skyward from its open mouth.
Sonic's complexion flawlessly mimicked the timelapse on a toothpaste commercial.
"That's just mean," he whispered after a long silence.
Knuckles' head tilted. "And vague. I'm not sure if I should check it off."
"Wh-wh-wh-ofcoursecheckitoff!" Sonic squawked.
"You know that doesn't actually prevent it from happening."
"I ALREADY GOT DUNKED THIS ADVENTURE. DO YOU PLAN TO GET YOURSELF TANGLED IN FOLIAGE AGAIN?"
"Okay, okay," Knuckles said. "So we agree to check all three off?"
Tails nodded quickly. "I'll second that."
"I'll millionth it," Sonic said. "And then we should banana split from this house of horrors."
"Alright," said Knuckles. He finished marking the murals, then started walking back the way they came.
"We weren't traveling through here?" Tails asked.
Knuckles shook his head. "It's a dead end."
The echidna led the team back to the hall's entrance, carefully putting the torch and chalk back in place. He approached the entrance to the pillar-adorned structure, then hesitated.
"Are you both feeling cooled and rehydrated now?"
"Yeah...?" Sonic replied.
"Is that why we lingered in the mural hall?" Tails asked. "I was a little surprised you didn't rush into the Emerald chamber."
Knuckles frowned. "Yes, I…wanted to make sure we were all at our best."
"You're nervous," Sonic realized. "Is it dangerous in there?"
"It shouldn't be, but..."
Knuckles trailed off, then sighed and shook his head.
Sonic smiled. "Don't sweat it. We can handle whatever bonkers thing is coming next."
"...right."
Knuckles led the group into the hall of purple and turquoise pillars, arches, and tiles. Everything was silent and pristine, and the occasional glint of light seemed neither natural nor deliberate. The paneless windows permitted the cool breeze and view from the rest of the cavern, its violet and blue crystals stretching far past the barrier of darkness.
The group walked up a staircase with ornate jade tiles. The sole feature at its top was a familiar apparatus consisting of a magenta sphere levitating within a set of platinum prongs and rings.
Nodding at each other, the heroes stepped on the sphere simultaneously, causing it to glow and hum. They were suddenly lifted into the air and a bright flash engulfed them. Not a second later, the light dissipated, gravity returned, and they were dropped onto an identical apparatus in a different Palace room.
Sonic whistled. "I forgot how wild your teleporters were."
"Glad they still work," Knuckles said. "My goal is to teleport to the surface of the island where Eggman won't know to expect us. But first..."
He led the group out through an open arch and into another large crystal cave. The raised walkway stretched forward, terminating in a circular terrace of ornate green tiles several meters above the cave floor. Seven pedestals lined the circumference of the terrace, each with a flower-shaped adornment on top.
A larger green pedestal with strings of beads cascading off its sides was the obvious centerpiece of the room. But there was nothing on top of it.
"Of course," Knuckles sighed, visibly disappointed.
"That's the inner shrine for the Master Emerald, right?" Tails asked gently.
"Yes. The Master was stolen off the surface shrine...so I don't know why I was starting to hope it would be in here," Knuckles said, then clenched his fists resolutely as he continued walking ahead. "Well, even if the Master's not physically here, it's been connected to the shrine long enough in the past. Maybe I can communicate with it."
His teammates watched as he climbed up onto the empty pedestal, took a deep breath, then knelt down and placed his palms on the center.
"Are you feeling something?" Sonic asked after a long silence.
"...only more of what I've been feeling all along...it has to be the Master Emerald but...it doesn't make any sense...why doesn't it make any sense?... why won't you listen to me!?"
Knuckles grunted, then closed his eyes as he leaned farther down and began chanting.
"The servers...are the seven Chaos...Chaos is power...power is enriched by the heart…the controller serves to unify the Chaos..."
His chant dissolved into a mumble.
"...control...danger...trap...wrong...no…..flare...channel…disrupt...hold….again...all….help…..losing...angry...somewhat seasick…seal..."
Sonic and Tails gave each other a long side-glance.
"That wasn't just me, right?" Sonic whispered.
Knuckles' voice started to become more strained and agitated.
"...stop...angry...stop….let...me…"
The air in the room began to stir.
"ENOUGH!"
A pulse of broken light rippled through the cave. The crystals surrounding the terrace burst into rapid vertical growth until they crashed into each other, making the area much smaller.
Sonic pulled Tails close to shield him from the shards of crystal before the room went calm again. Then he jumped onto the pedestal.
"Knuckles?"
The echidna's head was almost touching the base of the shrine. A bead of sweat rolled down his temple as he drew long, labored breaths.
Sonic leaned over and gently touched one trembling shoulder. "Hey, are you alright...?"
One of Knuckles' hands lifted off the ground and wrapped around Sonic's ankle. The hedgehog looked down, raising an eye ridge.
"Uh, what-"
Knuckles pulled hard, knocking Sonic onto his back.
"WHA-!"
The echidna bolted up holding the hedgehog's leg, then whirled around and threw him violently towards the nearest crystal wall.
Sonic barely flipped himself around in time to impact the wall feet-first. He dropped to a controlled landing and shot Knuckles an incredulous look.
"Dude, what on Earth!"
The echidna jumped down from the pedestal, then raised his head and stared back at Sonic, crazed fury in his eyes. He charged.
Sonic jumped aside. Knuckles' punch crushed a sizable hole in the wall.
"Knuckles!" Tails yelled.
The echidna pushed himself off the wall and started chasing Sonic, who kept himself just out of reach in a backwards jog.
"Knuckles, just talk to me! Tell me what I did wrong, and then you can beat me up."
There was no response beyond the grunts punctuating the swinging of oversized fists.
"Tails, what's his beef?"
"I-I don't know! I don't think he's in control of himself…"
"Knuckles, I'm NOT fighting you like this. You hear me?"
If the echidna did hear, he made no indication of it.
"Hey!"
Sonic ducked under the next swing, then gave him a hard slap across the face.
Knuckles stopped. Sonic stopped. They stared at each other.
"Owww!" Sonic hollered, shaking his hand out. "Wh-uh!"
Knuckles had seized him by the arm. He tried to pull himself free, but couldn't. The echidna reared his other fist back.
"Oh ra-"
Tails pounced onto Knuckles' head, wrapping his namesakes across the echidna's eyes. Stumbling backwards, Knuckles made several unsuccessful grabs at the dodging fox with his free hand before giving up and awkwardly swatting Sonic aside.
Tails tried to jump away, then yelped as he was grabbed and roughly pinned to the floor. Knuckles leaned down with a savage growl.
"Don't-"
A red sneaker shot up, striking the red aggressor's jaw hard enough to knock his head back.
"-touch-"
Sonic watched for the grip on his sidekick to loosen, then jumped up with a split kick, forcing both of the echidna's arms away.
"-Tails!"
A final kick launched Knuckles across the room and into yet another unfortunate wall minding its own business.
Sonic quickly pulled Tails to his feet. "Are you-"
"I'm okay!" the fox answered, then breathed a sigh of relief when the ferocity instantly melted off the hedgehog's posture.
The same could not be said about Knuckles as he jumped back up, however.
Sonic raised his hands peacefully, enunciating his words as though he were demoing a Stone Age speech-to-text app.
"Knuckles. We. Don't. Want. To. Fight."
The echidna charged again.
"Are you kidding me?" Sonic whined as he and his sidekick split apart. "Why does fate have to be so honking literal?"
Unsurprisingly, Knuckles opted to target the larger and significantly louder of the two critters.
"Well, faters gonna fate!"
Sonic vaulted over the echidna as yet another punch was thrown in his direction.
"Knuckles, please, it's us!" Tails cried, touching his shoulder.
Knuckles turned and took a swing at Tails, who evaded.
"Tails, get back!" Sonic barked as he rammed Knuckles to the floor, then quickly pulled himself away before he could get grabbed.
"But you-"
Sonic tripped the echidna the moment he got back up. "I'll keep him busy. You just...I dunno, figure something out! We can't leave him like this."
Tails took flight, quickly surveying their surroundings. All things considered, it would have been difficult to leave the room anyway. The new crystal growth had completely enclosed the area, including the walkway they'd entered from and the cave floor beneath the terrace.
He flew back down and landed on the central pedestal. A blue fastball grew arms and pushed him down as it passed overhead. He started to get up, then yelped and flattened himself again as a hedgehog-seeking red missile followed shortly thereafter.
Tails sat up more carefully, first confirming that the fight had moved to a safer area. He did a double-take, then lowered himself again.
The crash of shattering crystals shook the room, followed by rapid footsteps and an annoyed growl.
After a moment's thought, the fox swung himself to the floor under the pedestal, quickly looking up and down.
He squinted. "Wai-"
There was another loud crash, followed by a series of heavy bangs.
Tails turned to the others. "Stop pounding!"
Sonic's right eyelid twitched as he was backed into a corner. "...WHAT?!"
"And stop yelling!"
"Are we seriously doing ironic callbacks right now?" Sonic groaned incredulously whilst pulling a handstand off Knuckles' head. "I already apologized for-"
"N-no, just stop making noise! I think I hear something!"
Sonic continued to run laps around the room. "I thought your detector was going kaput."
"So did I, but the noise gets louder closer to the-"
"RAAAAARRRRRRGH."
Tails winced. "Sonic-"
"It wasn't me this time!" the hedgehog protested.
"I know, but can you try to keep him quiet?"
"I don't wanna hurt him!"
"I don't think you're going to!"
Sonic turned to raise an eye ridge at his sidekick. "...what's that supposed to - yaah!"
Knuckles had taken the opportunity to throw a large spray of crystal shards at Sonic, who narrowly avoided the barrage.
"Less yelling," Tails prompted.
"For cryin' out loud..." Sonic mumbled as he dove into a slide under one of the flowered platforms.
Knuckles ran to the platform's far side to intercept the hedgehog but found nothing. His eyes narrowed and he crouched down to look, still growling loudly.
There was a moment of sudden silence, and Knuckles' eyes went wide as his own tail was forcibly stuffed in his mouth. He bolted upright, then cringed when the action yanked his appendage out of its comfort zone.
Sonic popped out the other side of the platform, leaning on it with one forearm while holding an index finger to his lips.
"Shhh…"
Tails had made good leeway tracking the signal when another scream of rage nearly knocked him off his feet.
"Sonic-"
"Okay, so it was a dumb idea! Sue me! I don't see you trying to silently wrangle a bull in a china sh-"
"SONIC."
"Shutting up..." Sonic muttered, repeatedly darting around Knuckles, yanking him by random limbs, and jumping back to avoid retaliation.
This cycle continued for several more moments until Tails called out from near one crystal wall.
"It's definitely down below here! Can you get him to break this set of crystals?"
Sonic nodded, directed Tails to move away, then turned to Knuckles. "Okay Ferdinand, this way."
The hedgehog ran to the wall in question, adopted his smarmiest grin, and made a show of relaxing against it.
Sonic jumped out of the way milliseconds before Knuckles charged full-force into the wall, smashing a large hole in it. Predictably, he ran out and chased the hedgehog again.
Once Knuckles had chased him to the far end of the terrace, Sonic sprinted back to the new crater in the wall, quickly removing the sharpest pieces and then yawning and lying down to take an apparent nap.
A giant fist smashed into the ground where Sonic had been, and Knuckles fell into the subsequent hole.
"Okay, be careful," Sonic ordered Tails before jumping in himself. The fox flew down to the pit, but opted not to land quite yet, since it was already nearly too cramped for Sonic to dodge the incoming attacks.
"Keep going," Tails confirmed after a quick survey, pointing at the crystal wall away from the cave's center.
Sonic manipulated Knuckles into throwing another punch at the wall, then jumped back.
Knuckles didn't follow, and instead let off a furious scream before continuing to pound his fists into the wall. It rapidly fell apart, and a series of cracks began to grow in the large, dangerously jagged crystal ceiling.
Sonic's eyes widened. "Knuckles, stop!"
The echidna didn't stop and didn't move when the ceiling started to collapse above him. Tails flew down to grab Sonic, only for the hedgehog to shove him back up and make a beeline for Knuckles instead.
Holding Knuckles by the wrist, Sonic took off running away from the avalanche of crystals, rapidly weaving through the tight gaps until he found safety in a small pocket underneath the central terrace.
Sonic let go of Knuckles' wrist, only to find that Knuckles wasn't as willing to return the favor.
"Man..."
One arm gripping his target, Knuckles repeatedly swung at Sonic, who did his best to twist out of the way. The echidna finally yanked down hard, knocking the hedgehog breathless against the floor before quickly lifting him up again and punching him across the space.
Sonic slammed against the far wall, fell to the ground, and tried to scramble to his feet, but Knuckles was already on top of him.
Tails was on the outside of the crystal partition, now much more open. He ran to a small opening to the center pocket, where he could see his friends. But the hole was too small for him to fit into, and his efforts to widen it weren't getting anywhere.
"Knuckles-" Sonic attempted, struggling as the echidna pinned him down completely.
Tails gave up and sprinted back to the wall on the edge of the cave.
"Knuckles, this isn't you!" Sonic grunted.
The echidna reared a fist back. He started to bring it down towards Sonic, but stopped halfway through. Fist hovering and teeth clenched, he shook as he continued to stare at the hedgehog.
Sonic stared back calmly. "Knuckles."
Knuckles let off a frustrated roar, his fist tightening harder.
Tails picked up a rock and smashed it against a point on the wall. Another flash of light immediately rippled through the cave, and the crystal partition crumbled.
The rage disappeared from Knuckles' face, replaced first by confusion, then shock.
"Wh-... Sonic?!"
"Good morning, sunshine!"
Knuckles jumped off Sonic and stumbled backwards. "Did … did I attack you?"
Sonic grinned as he gingerly picked himself up. "Take a wild guess."
Tails ran to Sonic's side.
"I ...I-I don't..." Knuckles stammered, "I'm sorry, I…"
"It's okay, honest," Sonic said, shooing away the concerned fox trying to give him a once-over. "Any idea what happened...?"
Knuckles shook his head dazedly. "I don't know, I … I touched the shrine...the Master Emerald was screaming at me, and I ...next thing I know I'm pinning you down…why?...how?"
"Well, in terms of fate," the hedgehog began, "we keep getting forced into the same shindigs as last time. And in terms of luck, we keep pulling the strawberry shortcake-"
"Short straw," Tails translated.
"- so, on the mumbo jumbo side of things, this was practically guaranteed to be the end result," Sonic finished, not missing a beet.
"On the empirical side," continued Tails, "there apparently was a surge of some weird energy here, which is the noise my detector was picking up. I think that's what, um...got to you, and I think I just cut it off from the source, since everything stopped after I broke that wall segment."
Knuckles' jaw tightened. "And that's why I had such a bad feeling when we approached..."
"You're alright now, though?" Tails asked.
"Yes," Knuckles answered simply, then turned to Sonic. "And you?"
Sonic hesitated. Knuckles sighed and looked away.
"You were clutching your side when you got up. So I hit you at least once."
Sonic let off a breathy chuckle. "Now, of all times, you gotta be the observant one? Well, time for Operation Walk-it-Off."
The hedgehog turned and started a casual, somewhat stiff trek back towards the tall pile of crystal rubble.
Tails pulled an exaggerated face. "Ah...ahhhhh-"
Sonic waited patiently for the initiation of a long, ear-splitting sneeze, then finally liberated his feral growl of pain into the jungle of noise.
Knuckles stared at the fox. "Are you okay...?"
Tails nodded innocently. "It's dusty down here."
The group ascended the makeshift crystal staircase in silence back up to the circular terrace.
"Knuckles…" Sonic began, "does an angry, seasick seal mean anything to you?"
"...what? No..."
"'cause you said some weird things earlier."
"I see," said Knuckles. He passed the pedestals without even glancing at them.
Tails pointed towards the Palace structure they'd entered from. "So we're ready to take the teleporter back to the surface now?"
"I guess," Knuckles replied lifelessly. "But maybe you two should go without me."
Sonic turned. "You're not hurt, are you?"
"I'm fine, I...why are you asking about me? You're the one I attacked."
"Knuckles, really, it's okay."
Knuckles stopped and threw his hands up in growing frustration. "Why is it okay?! Why aren't you getting mad at me or at least making fun of me?"
"Because slapping you is just begging for a broken wrist."
Knuckles' frown deepened, and Sonic's cheeky grin softened.
"...and because it's not your fault, I know how you feel, and I trust you."
"Even if you do, what good am I doing? I'm the so-called Guardian of eight gems, none of which I can control or locate...and of an island I can't predict, can't navigate, and can't protect you two from!"
"Yeah," said Sonic, "and I'm the so-called unbreakable hero who girly-screams at the sight of water, lost control of himself and almost got his friends offed by a missile, then further held the team back from catching the enemy and getting an Emerald by refusing to take a backseat, snapping at everyone, and lying about his ability to continue."
"Meanwhile," continued Tails, "I'm the so-called genius who lost his equipment at the outset, built a replacement with an iffy success rate, didn't realize the team was being tracked nor the dosage of said hero's poisoning until it was much too late, and still hasn't figured out the enemy's master plan."
"So we all have something in common," Sonic finished.
Knuckles' shoulders drooped. "Yeah, good job, you proved that we're all failures."
Sonic burst out laughing, then quickly seized his composure by its bovine nose ring.
"Only if we give up. No, we all have Eggman to blame for pretty much everything, and we'll all feel better once we serve him the mother of all rump roasts."
"Hm," the echidna managed.
"And also," Tails said, "We're all hungry, aren't we?"
The others turned to him.
"Well-" Knuckles began.
"Yessss," Sonic moaned.
"If we're going to teleport back to the surface anyway, don't you have gardens with fruit in them?" Tails asked Knuckles.
"Yes…"
The fox took the initiative of leading the group into the structure. "So after all this, we really should stop for dinner...or a midnight snack...or whatever meal is appropriate for...whatever time it is now."
Knuckles sighed. "You're right, if we're quick."
The group walked up to the teleporter again, and Knuckles rearranged the rings surrounding it.
"Great," said Sonic. "So the new itinerary is: stuff our faces silly, find the last two Emeralds, and then confront Eggman."
Knuckles nodded, gesturing for the other two to step on the teleporter's orb with him. The device flashed, and the next thing the heroes knew, they were landing on a similar orb.
They looked up, and their eyes all widened at once.
"Hello," said Eggman.
(More) Author's Notes, 7/21/21:
...meanwhile, the excuse for my story updates progressively packing on the COVID-15 is that this is technically two chapters. But yeesh, this site is hardly ASCII-art-friendly. Is the ability to troll my readers too much to ask‽
(If you're on mobile and that "title card" didn't work for you, please accept this desktop snob's humble apology. If it helps, it really wasn't that good to begin with.)
Blame fate. Always blame fate. I never said Sonic and Knuckles wouldn't come to blows; it just wasn't going to be a result of their earlier fallout.
That said, I hope the violence isn't too much. It wouldn't be an authentic Sonic story if the heroes, the world, and/or the known universe weren't in mortal peril. If anything earns the K+ rating it'll be the endgame, and I'm certainly willing to bump it to T if people have concerns.
Finally...uh, were we expecting to find another set of gems in the Palace? I suppose I should now admit that the "ultrasonic" gag in Mushroom Hill was originally a "hypersonic" gag with the same response from our hero (namely, "that's not canon") and...well, I realized that was playing with too much fire.
Update, 8/8/21:
Um, I don't even...how...why is Cytisus so nice...and talented...and awesome...
[deviantart dot com]/micazee/art/Loss-of-Control-888228906