This is an actual thing that they do in Norway; I looked into it. The mere concept has so much Thor energy that I just had to put it in the story. Also, strangely enough, this was actually the last chapter of the story that I wrote, except the epilogue. I wrote this thing completely out of order and then tossed the chapters together.

Thor VI: Russefeiring

"Strip the bus! Strip the bus!" Thor took up the chant along with the rest of his friends as they tossed another seat out the back door. He'd literally been waiting for this day since he started secondary school—and they'd been planning it for that long too. The last three weeks before exams made up the russefeiring, a nonstop party full of drinking and dares. Since Thor couldn't participate in the former, he planned to max out on the latter.

He and his friends hired a driver and bought a bus that they were now stripping to convert into a moveable party hub. They had to forego the strobe lights because of Thor's epilepsy, but that left them more budget for the speakers and the paint job. The twelve of them decided to shoot for a Norse mythology theme; while half worked on stripping the interior, the other half had already started painting an Asgardian scene on the exterior. Thor had never been so excited for anything in his life.

"Thor, I know you've been looking forward to this, but you need to remember that your health and safety come first," Mor reminded him.

"I know," he sighed.

"You have to sleep regular hours."

"I know."

"Good." She kissed him on the forehead. "Have fun."

Preparations on the bus finished just in time for the beginning of the festivities. The entire outside was painted in glorious blues and golds, with a rainbow Bifrost connecting the two sides across the back. One side showed a silhouette of the palace of Asgard, and the other dozens of pegasi bearing Valkyries into battle. Thor and his friends got their bright red russ pants and caps. The caps were topped with a string, and the more dares one completed the more random objects they tied into it, each one correlating to a specific task. They also printed business cards. It was traditional for little kids to try to collect cards from as many russ as possible. Thor's contained a picture of him and Valkyrie, and he eagerly handed them to any kids who approached him on the street. Probably because his picture featured a cute dog, he was one of the more popular cards to collect.

It didn't take long for things to kick into gear. Everyone was immediately either drunk or hungover, except for Thor, of course. Although he did enjoy the people watching. Volstagg immediately set out to complete as many food-related dares as possible. On day one alone, he ate an entire bag of marshmallows in fifteen minutes, at twelve bananas in one hour, and finished off a Big Mac in only two bites. Hogun tried to keep pace with him, but he failed to complete any of those challenges successfully.

Sif and Fandral were equally matched in their alcohol tolerance. Thor got nauseous just watching them try and fail to outdrink each other. One of the kids in their group finished off an entire crate of beer in twenty four hours, and Thor worried they'd get alcohol poisoning trying to match him. Fortunately, they agreed that particular goal was unattainable and refrained from going dangerously far.

Never one to back down from a challenge no matter how humiliating, Thor focused his own efforts on nonsensical public displays. With all his hopelessly drunk friends in tow, he wandered into a grocery store and crawled around the dog food aisle on all fours, occasionally barking, for an entire five minutes. Most of the people there knew what was going on and merely ignored him, but Valkyrie was hopelessly confused. She followed him up and down the aisle, trying to get underneath him to push him back to his feet. Thor ended up essentially wrestling with her. His friends' laughter was infectious. After five minutes, he got to tie a dog biscuit into his cap, confusing the poor dog even more. He gave her a biscuit of her own, but she kept glancing up at his head as if expecting him to untie the other one from his cap and give it to her.

Fandral let a highly intoxicated Hogun give him a haircut with dull scissors. Hogun offered to do the same to Thor so he could earn a tuft of hair to tie into his cap, but he refused. Thor had prevented his mother from forcing a haircut upon him for years; he wasn't going to render that effort obsolete just for another token. Besides, he needed his hair for the last week of russefeiring.

Thor earned a piece of tape for going an entire day without verbal communication. It wasn't even that hard for him; since he'd gotten used to speaking less in the early days of his brain injury. He was highly entertained by watching all his friends, and he wasn't penalized for laughing. All ten of them attempted to eat an entire kebab without using their hands. Only Thor, Sif, and Volstagg succeeded and earned a plastic fork. The rest ran out of time or gave up. Thor wasn't allowed to participate in this one, but several of his friends stayed up for twenty four hours straight to earn a knot tied in their cap. But he was the only one able to complete any challenges the day after that.

Once again confusing the hell out of his poor dog, he sat under his desk for an entire lesson at school for a thumbtack. Then he helped out the janitor after lunch for a match. He snuck into a first-year lesson and raised his hand for every single question, earning stares of plain shock and admiration from all the little kids. After school, he convinced the russ bus driver to stop at a random bus stop and offer to take one of the people standing there anywhere they wanted to go. He sat with the man the entire drive there and made small talk.

On day ten, Sif came to school with a stick tied into her cap. "Who was it?" Thor asked her.

"None of your business," she snapped.

To earn a stick as a token required having sex in a tree. That was the same day Fandral wore bread as shoes the entire day. Also the same day that Thor trekked on skis all the way from school to the liquor store. Hogun chewed two packs of bubble gum at once throughout an entire lesson, and he could barely talk the next day because his jaw was so sore. He earned the piece of tape too.

Thor almost got hit by a car multiple times as he sat by an open manhole with a fishing rod. It was totally worth it for the piece of fishing line he got to tie into his cap and to listen to his drunk friends recount the experience. Two of their friends earned a short rope for holding hands for twelve hours nonstop. All of them earned a plastic knife when they stepped out of the bus and ate breakfast in the middle of a roundabout.

"Fandral earned a balloon," Loki told him when he got home one night after spending the afternoon on the bus.

"From you?!"

"Yep."

"Why did you ag...agree to that?"

Loki shrugged. "He asked nicely."

"Was he your first?"

This time, Loki outright laughed at him. "No."

And that was the end of the discussion. A balloon was earned by making out with the brother or sister of a co-russ.

Thor ate two liters of ice cream in one hour (although Valkyrie helped just a tiny bit) and earned a piece of the box with a killer brain freeze to go with it. Volstagg finished his in only thirty minutes. That same day, they heard of another russ bus that had thrown a party in the yard of one of their teachers without getting caught. And another who pushed their bus for half a mile. Thor was actually glad he was sober the entire time, because he remembered everything. Sif had no recollection of ringing the doorbell of a stranger's house while bouncing on a ball, but she had the person's signature to prove it happened. Thor refused to remind her how it had gone down.

Even without being drunk, the time passed by too fast. Before he knew it, the final week of russefeiring arrived. He was disappointed it was almost over, but he was excited for this last hurrah. The last week was called Ståkuka, or "the noisy week," and it was a spirit week of sorts, beginning with pajama day, followed by business day, and then emo day. Thor had Loki do his eyeliner for him and at least four different girls at school complimented it. However, Thor was most excited for change sex day. He'd had a bright red dress picked out for months.

Loki offered to do two French braids for him, and Thor eagerly accepted. He sat in a chair while his brother stood behind him with a comb between his teeth. "Where did you learn how to…braid?" Thor asked.

"Drama camp," he said curtly.

"Cool."

Loki worked deftly and quickly, and the next thing Thor knew his hair rested in two perfect braids on his shoulders. "I can't wait until I get to do this," Loki said.

"Rus-se-fei-ring?"

He hesitated noticeably before answering, "Yeah."

Thor glanced in the mirror and could tell by Loki's body language he was lying. Despite drama camp, the kid still hadn't mastered the art of hiding his tells. He also looked profoundly uncomfortable and almost...embarrassed. "Loki," Thor said knowingly. Not until it slipped off his tongue did he realize which two syllables he just uttered without butchering either.

"Thor! That was my name!"

"Sure was, brother."

Loki's smile dropped. He recovered quickly, but Thor noticed. "What's going on with you?" he asked.

"Nothing," Loki insisted.

"You're lying."

"Fine. Lately I've noticed that some days I just feel...dysphoric."

"What does that...mean?"

"I guess it's kind of like, my own skin isn't mine? I don't really know how to explain it. But on those days...I feel like I'd be more comfortable dressed like this." He gestured to Thor's get-up.

"Then why don't you?"

"What? Thor, I can't just dress like a girl for no reason."

"Why not?"

"You know what, forget I said anything. You're going to be late. Don't tell Mor and Far about this."

Thor made a mental note to check in on Loki later. This was clearly something he'd thought about a lot, something that bothered him, and he didn't like to see Loki bothered. Loki bothered others, he didn't get bothered; it was the natural order of things. He set off for school and it was immediately clear as soon as he set foot in the doors that he hadn't overdone it with his outfit. Not by a long shot. Hogun wore heels and a full face of perfect makeup. Sif somehow made herself smell like a man, so much so that even Valkyrie was taken aback.

"Who did your hair?" she asked.

"My brother."

"He did a really good job."

"He did. Thank you."

"I can't even braid like that."

"I'm sure he would do yours if you asked."

"I think he's more likely to do favors for Fandral," Hogun said knowingly, elbowing him in the gut.

"It was for the balloon," Fandral insisted. "Nothing more."

"Sure."

The final day of Ståkuka was army day. Thor's favorite day ever. They went to war against their rival school. Thor and his friends stayed at school late the previous day to help fill up water balloons, and by the time army day dawned they had amassed hundreds of them. He stowed Valkyrie's vest pockets with extra balloons and a fully loaded squirt gun. She accepted the responsibility with the grim dutifulness of a war elephant.

Early in the morning, Thor and his friends boarded their bus and headed to the other school. They finagled their way into offense, while the other half of their class stayed behind to defend their school from the encroaching attackers. When they arrived, they found a formidable defense. The other school had literally erected barriers, turning the grounds into a maze. Thor spotted countless piles of ammunition.

Sif immediately took charge, laying out the battle plan on a crude map drawn in the dirt behind the bus. Everyone listened to her without second thought. Thor turned to Valkyrie and swore he saw the dog nod her acknowledgement of the plan. They crept into position and waited for Sif's signal.

"Go!"

The first wave deployed, surging towards the school. Thor heard splash after splash as water balloons sailed from both sides. Cries of victory and defeat filled the air, and Thor's muscles tightened in anticipation. He waited for Sif's second signal, and it came mere moments later.

"Ride, Valkyrie!" he cried. She dashed behind him as he tore for the nearest barrier. The appearance of a dog must've startled the other school, because they didn't attack him immediately. In fact, Thor charged their lines unchallenged and leapt over the barrier. He ran straight for the first pile of water balloons he could see and bodily tackled the person guarding it. The person scrambled to his feet and ran away, leaving Thor with a huge pile of ammunition. Water balloons started flying from within enemy lines. He stayed dry for a few minutes longer, but then the boy he'd tackled returned with a massive soaker gun and drenched him and Valkyrie from head to toe.

Thor ran, and as he entered a more open grassy area he started to smell something funny. Valkyrie clearly smelled it too and began begging Thor to turn back. Not eager to get caught up in whatever this was, he whirled and took off in another direction. He escaped not a moment too soon. Thor glanced over his shoulder as some kid he recognized as one of his classmates tossed a lit match onto the ground. The grass immediately lit up and the flames spread so rapidly that Thor felt the heat.

Was that gasoline he smelled? Had someone on their side filled a balloon or squirt gun with that instead? He didn't know. Thor glanced across the field and saw Sif and a few other girls struggling with something against the wall of the school. Had she known about this? Careful to avoid the raging inferno, he approached.

"I've got this completely under control!" she announced immediately.

"Is that why...ev-ery-thing is on fire?" he questioned.

"We're working on that." Now Thor noticed that the thing she was working on was clearly the knob to control the sprinkler system. "It's stuck," she said.

"Let me try."

Thor grabbed the knob and twisted with all his might. It didn't budge, but he kept at it. By the time he managed to get it moving, the flames had spread and they could already hear the approaching sirens of the fire department. He gave it one final tug and at last the sprinklers kicked in. Unfortunately, the fire had already spread beyond the scope of the sprinkler system. Thor glanced between his friends and without a word they bolted.

No arrests were made that day, the culprit unidentifiable. Property damage was almost a guarantee every russefeiring, and this wasn't even the most catastrophic thing that had ever happened. "Was the plan to start a fire?" Thor asked Sif.

"Yes."

"Devious," Fandral commended.

"What a way to close the show," Hogun agreed.

Thor's way of acknowledging the intensity of everything that just happened: a seizure.

He woke up a while later and earned a soda cap for staying sober the entire time. If he could, he definitely would have gotten wasted with everyone else, but at least he got a rare token out of it. Not a single other person on his bus got a soda cap. Immediately after the last day, Thor finally relented to Mor's nagging and got his hair cut. It was as good a way as any to mark his transition into adulthood.