Parker XIV: The Best Four Years

"Did you get your envelope?" Ned asked.

"Yes," Parker replied, the phone in one hand and a rather large packet from MIT in the other. His dads stood on either side of him, eagerly awaiting the moment when he opened this letter.

"On three?"

"Okay. One…two…three." He tore open the packet. His eyes scanned over the words, "Pleased to offer you admission," and that was all he needed to see for the time being. Ned squealed, and so did Parker. Not only did he get into his number one school, but based on the continued noises of excitement coming from the other end, so did his best friend.

"This is the second best news I've ever received!" they both exclaimed. Neither had to ask what the best was; that was obvious to former foster kids.

"We could be roommates!" Ned cheered.

"Oh my God, they were roommates," he heard Daddell mutter behind him.

"Ned that would be so awesome!"

"You know what's even more awesome? You have a senior friend who can get us into all the parties!"

"Oh my gosh, you're right." Parker knew Tony would be just as excited about this as he and Ned were, and he couldn't wait to tell him. "I have to go tell him."

"You go do that. I'll start sketching out our dorm room. Are you thinking about mounting the replica light sabers above the door or above our beds?"

Parker rolled his eyes. "I trust your judgement. Bye, Ned."

"Later."

"Oh no, you are not calling Tony before we get a chance to properly congratulate you," Dad warned. Parker put the phone down and let himself be nearly strangled in a double hug from both parents.

"I am so proud of you," Daddell said.

"These are going to be the best four years of your life."

"I certainly hope so. But I couldn't have done it without you guys. Thank you. But can you please let go, I can't breathe."

"Alright, fine. Now run along and tell all your friends."

"Thanks Dad. Love you." Parker dashed away to his room with his acceptance letter while simultaneously initiating a FaceTime call to Tony.

"Show me the letter," he said immediately. Of course Tony knew exactly what this call was about without Parker having to say a word. He held it up to the camera and watched his friend's face break into a wide grin. "Yes! I'm going to have a little freshman buddy."

"Please don't call me that to anybody else."

"Oh no, it's too late. All of my friends are going to know my little freshman buddy. Ned got in too?"

"Yeah."

"And the buddy of my little freshman buddy."

"If you say that one more time, I will reject MIT and go to Cal Tech instead."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me."

"Okay, fine. Freshman friend?"

"You can call me Parker."

"Fine, fine. I am so excited for you. Freshman year of college is quite a time."

"Yeah?"

"Oh absolutely. You'll learn a lot, most of which has nothing to do with your chosen major. I learned not to mix my darks and lights, how late I can wake up and still make it to an eight A.M. class, and what temperature it's acceptable to keep a mini fridge at."

"Sounds useful. Will you tell me the answer to that last question so I don't make the same mistake?"

"Absolutely not. At MIT we learn from experience."

"Is that the official mission statement?"

"No. That's, 'To generate, disseminate, and preserve knowledge. And work with others to bring it to bear on the world's great challenges.' They make you memorize that during Orientation. Kind of a hazing thing."

"Are you serious? I thought hazing was illegal?"

"It is. I'm joking."

Parker heaved a sigh of relief. "Oh, okay."

"If anyone tries to haze you, you call me and I will storm in guns a-blazing."

"I don't think that will be necessary, but thank you."

"You're welcome. When you get here, let me give you the tour. I'm actually allowed to tell you the good stuff, unlike the hired guides."

"Okay, Tony. See you soon."

"Also, if you ever need to crash at my place for whatever reason, I can make you a spare key."

"Are you allowed to do that?"

"No, but they'll never know as long as I turn in my key and destroy the duplicate."

"I can assure you that won't be necessary," Parker insisted. "But I appreciate the sentiment. Bye, Tony."

"Bye, Parker."

He read the entire letter this time, his excitement for the coming year already building. All that stood between him and college was a few more months at Midtown and one epic summer. Parker couldn't wait. But at the same time, he was more terrified than he'd ever been in his life. Major life transitions generally didn't sit well with him, even though this one was as positive a transition as possible. Having Ned and Tony there would certainly make things easier, but he wasn't completely sure he was ready to be away from his parents. Luckily, he still had months to figure that out.

~0~

They won Nationals for Quizbowl that year, a perfect sendoff for the dream team of Parker, MJ, and Ned. Mr. Harrington nearly cried saying goodbye to them at the last practice of the year, because they'd all but carried the team since they started at Midtown. He and MJ attended prom together, and Parker nearly started drooling at the sight of her in that dress, complete with the black dahlia necklace he got her for their most recent anniversary (it was her favorite flower because of the murderer, which Parker found equal parts terrifying and endearing). Then she told him to get a hold of himself and, "Kissed the stupid look off his face." Parker's dads made an entire scrapbook just out of prom photos, and another from graduation.

That summer, he didn't want to go anywhere, instead spending every moment savoring his life in Queens. He and MJ had many more Delmar's picnics in the park, and it was during one of those in early August that Parker finally broached the subject that had haunted him since he got accepted to college.

"What do you want to do?" he asked. They'd been pretty casually dating for the entirety of high school, but he didn't know if attempting long-distance was a good idea. He wanted to stay together, of course—Parker rather thought he could stay with her forever—but he didn't know if MJ felt the same and he didn't want to force it upon her.

"I don't think we should tie ourselves down," she said matter-of-factly.

"Okay. What exactly does that mean?"

"My goal isn't to meet someone new at college, but it's a possibility for both of us, and I don't want either of us to be in a position to dump the other from a distance, if you know what I mean."

"Seems reasonable."

"I've also been thinking a lot about that phrase, 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder,' and I think that this will be a good test if our relationship is something we should continue. If we go to college not as a couple and we both still miss being a couple, that's a good indication that we're right for each other."

"You are so smart," Parker said. He'd known this for years—it was impossible to spend time with MJ and not notice how freakishly intelligent she was—but it still amazed him every single day.

"Stop with the puppy eyes," she scolded, playfully punching him in shoulder.

"What are you talking about?"

"You were staring at me with your eyes all glazed over, like you're being hypnotized or something."

"Maybe I am. You are beautiful, after all."

"Parker, you're making it really hard to break up with you right now."

"That's not exactly what we're doing, is it? We're just…taking a break. Taking the time to discover ourselves as individuals in a new environment."

"Yeah, that sounds better. But we'll still keep in touch," she said sternly.

"Yeah, of course. MJ, do you really think I could survive college without you?"

"Yes, I do. I have full confidence in your ability to college without me."

"Wow. I haven't even left yet, and I already can't wait for Thanksgiving break."

"Don't wish your first semester away. You and Ned are going to have so much fun, and Tony is going to get you into so much trouble," she teased.

"Tony is not a bad influence! If he legally buys alcohol and I end up with it, the more likely explanation is that I stole it."

"That's what he'll say, but everyone will know he gave it to you knowingly."

"I'm not going to college to drink, legally or illegally. I'm going to learn and stuff."

"Okay, loser. Going to college for an education. Who does that?"

"Last time I checked, that's why you were going."

"Ridiculous. I'm going to assert my independence as an adult and nothing more."

"Whatever you say."

"I'm going to miss you."

"I'm gonna miss you too."

"Goodbye kiss before we're officially taking a break?"

"Okay."

Before that kiss, Parker had estimated he'd make it halfway through second semester before he missed MJ too much to just be friends. After, he thought even one semester was pushing it.

~0~

Parker and Ned moved into their new dorm at the same time, so all of their parents could commiserate over sending their adopted babies off to school. It was a day full of laughter and tears from all present parties. They did not spring for the mounted replica light sabers, but between the two of them they brought a fair share of Star Wars posters, and Parker gave his LEGO minifigures a place of honor on his desk. He liked having little Carol, Steve, Bucky, and Tony with him when he was so far from the real versions. Well, except for Tony. He was just across campus.

"I love you," he told his dads during the longest and strongest hug of their family history.

"We love you too. Don't forget to call," they warned. And just like that, he and Ned were independent college students. His dads were right; these were going to be the best four years of his life.

~0~

Parker opened the fridge to put leftover ice cream inside and remembered one of things Tony said he'd learned during his first semester at college: the appropriate temperature to keep a mini fridge. Evidently theirs was too cold. "Hey Ned, come look at this," Parker said cautiously.

"What's wrong?"

"I think we need to turn down the temperature in this thing." Beneath the freezer compartment sat a massive chunk of ice, as thick as the gap between the compartment and the tray below it and covering the entire surface area.

"Oh shit," Ned muttered. "Definitely turn the temperature down."

Parker found the dial and flipped it down two notches. "Wait, it's going to melt. And everything will get wet."

"We can't have that."

"So what are we going to do?"

The two of them stayed crouched in front of the open fridge, silently staring into its depths. Then they slowly turned to look at each other. "I'll get a screwdriver," Ned sighed. He dug through the back of his closet for the tool kit his father hadn't let him come to college without and procured a screwdriver. Ned used it to lever the ice block off of the freezer compartment, and it snapped into three huge pieces. Parker grabbed one with his bare hands and dashed down the hall to the bathroom and threw it in the sink. Ned stormed in a few steps behind him with a second piece.

"Hide the evidence," he snapped, running hot water over the ice to melt it down the drain.

"Why? It's just ice?"

Ned grabbed him by the shoulders and looked deep into his eyes. "Nobody on this hall needs to know of our failure."

Just in time, one of the stall doors opened and the guy who lived on the other end of their hallway walked up to another sink and started washing his hands. He turned to look at Parker and Ned with pure confusion in his eyes. Parker shoved Ned's hands off of him and wrenched the bathroom door open, running back to their room.

"What are we going to do with the last chunk?" Parker asked.

"Okay, we'll just wait until he leaves the bathroom and we'll run it over." Ned held their door open while Parker peeked his head out to watch the bathroom door. The instant he saw it open, he retracted his head so the kid wouldn't see him spying on the hallway like this. Ned nearly slammed his hair in the door. "Did he see you?" Ned asked.

"I don't think so."

"Okay. Go, go, go." Parker grabbed the last chunk of ice and they again ran to the sink and melted it down to nothing. When the last visible ice disappeared, they both heaved a sigh of relief and shut off the water. Parker looked at Ned. Ned looked at Parker. They both simultaneously recognized the sheer ludicrousness of what they'd just done. Their laughter could probably be heard by every person on the floor.