Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any characters associated with it.

TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains brief descriptions of bodily injury. Please read at your own discretion.

A One Month Bet

A rare, thin dappling of clouds blew over Sunagakure, marring the once beautiful night sky like dark wounds over the village. Gaara knew the heat of the morning sun would burn them away in a few hours, but now they blotted out the gentle shimmering of the stars, making the rooftop feel colder and lonelier than before.

Gaara sat, still and motionless, frozen by the events that had just unfolded. Normally not bothered by the chill of desert nights, he now felt an unfamiliar coldness in his body. It emanated from inside him this time, bringing forth an empty feeling that he hadn't felt since childhood… an essence of betrayal, of loneliness, of self-loathing. It was his fault he had ruined this chance… it had to be. It was always his fault somehow.

He glared solemnly up at the moon, knowing it had borne witness to his chagrin and failure. He had followed the advice of his brother and sister to try and build upon his relationship with Sakura, to even coax it into something more: a friendship. And he had almost succeeded. To hear the tinkle of her laugh, to share his special solace with her, was more than he could have hoped for in their brief time together. Albeit any notions of confused or misplaced feelings, he had, for a moment, made a new and dear friend.

And then his dumb ass had to go and ruin it.

He had wanted so badly to feel her again, to have a second chance at kissing her and making his feelings known. Though he knew his intentions clearly, he was unprepared for the physical response that would follow. He all but lost his mind in her lips, reeling in the hungry feeling that came over his body. Why had he never felt this way about a woman before? Never once in his twenty years had he felt drawn to a woman so strongly. Shukaku had long been removed from inside him, but now he felt like there was a new monster rising within him. It roared to life the moment Sakura had sealed her lips to his, and it grew stronger and hungrier the longer they remained attached. He did not know how or when his hand had clenched into her soft, petal-like hair. He couldn't remember how he had somehow shifted to be beside Sakura… then above her… then on top of her. It was those moments that the inner beast had taken over, commanding control as though Gaara was aware of what he was doing, when in reality he was just an oblivious (though gracious) participant.

And then it had happened: that delicious final moment that broke the spell. Bare chest to thin fabric, tender porcelain wrists wrapped around his neck. Their lips had broken for only a second, and then… that sound.

The memory of it wracked his body all over again, and the lustful animal inside him growled hungrily. But when the reality of the moment set in, the beast whimpered and withdrew. Sakura had looked so… scared. While he had seen fear on the faces of hundreds of people in his life: villagers, opponents, allies, enemies, even his own family members… but to see it in Sakura's eyes, it suddenly brought forth feelings that he was unfamiliar with… Not anger, rage, or apathy: these were familiar emotions that he had learned to either engage or diffuse. But worry…remorse… these were new to him. He felt these things because he had seen the fear – and dare he think: regret – in her eyes and known in that moment that he must have done something very, very wrong. For once in his life, he was actively trying to not frighten someone into running away, and somehow he managed to scare her off all the same.

These feelings were exasperated by what he had seen in Sakura as a woman. He had vague memories of her during childhood, when they were little more than genin. He had barely noticed her then. At that time in his life, though, he didn't notice much of anything. He was consumed then by a true monster, unable to draw connections with those around him.

But now, nearly a decade later, Sakura was an entirely new enigma. She was strong. She was confident. She wasn't afraid to stand up to him, which is a quality he hadn't expected from a foreign kunoichi coming to Suna on his request. Gaara ran a hand through his dark red mop. She was different than he'd expected… since her arrival, he had only witnessed her demonstrating professionalism, endurance, and pride. But she also showed other qualities that he found intriguing… compassion, empathy, patience. He had not told her somewhat out of indignance, but he couldn't ignore the progress the medical unit had achieved in just two weeks. Even Temari and Kankuro had taken a liking to Sakura… more so than normal visitors to the village. She had a quality about her that truly struck those around her. She commanded respect, but she also exuded kindness. He felt he didn't deserve that kindness… she was gracious in giving him a chance at friendship, and in his greed to experience more of her too quickly, he'd ruined his opportunity at that too.

Gaara's brow furrowed. Everything had felt so right when they were together… it felt right and purposeful in a way he would have never expected. Her body fit into his like a puzzle piece, her slight elegant curves aligning to his hard angles as though they were designed to fit together. He kissed her hard and with intention because he knew it now… he wanted her. He wanted her physically, yes, but that was only part of it. He wanted to share more with her… Ironically, he felt that her boldness in kissing him first had actually pushed him into a level of comfort that he had not shared with anyone else before, because he would've never done something so drastic on his own. Before that night only days ago, every move he made was deliberate and measured. He would not act without proper consideration from every possible angle. But Sakura made him feel… bolder. He was more driven by his desire to be near her than he cared about his careful, calculated lifestyle. Before they had kissed on the roof again (a mistake for which he now blamed himself), he had actually felt at ease… even in the moments where he was unsure of Sakura's reactions, he still felt comfortable enough to engage with her, converse with her, even laugh with her, which was still somewhat shocking. Kankuro had on numerous occasions complained that Gaara's sense of humor must have died with him and somehow failed to be resurrected with the rest of Gaara's soul. He never countered Kankuro's argument, because to be quite honest he'd considered it as a legitimate option. He simply did not find humor in the things that everyone around him did, and he especially hated it when he was somehow the butt of a joke he didn't understand. But something about Sakura had changed that in him. She had been able to draw true humor into is heart, and he found that it felt nice to laugh with her. Having lived a life in which he was so alone, so isolated, for so long, he had rarely felt this sort of comfort and connection with someone else. Maybe his brother and sister, to an extent…and perhaps Naruto, as well, though their connection stemmed more from mutual respect than from genuine enjoyment of each other's company. No… this time with Sakura was different. He felt he could laugh with her, talk with her, live with her with a level of ease he had not yet felt with another person before.

Of course, that prospect is effectively dead, now, he thought. Sakura had run away so abruptly, he still didn't know what he had done wrong… he only knew their bodies had connected like a rapturous electric shock, and then she froze – apologized – and left. He must've… pushed her too far. Lesson or not, he had somehow crossed an unspoken taboo somehow, and because of his lack of experience in the area of women he didn't even know why!

Gaara released a frustrated growl and tucked his head down, not wanting the moon to mock him in his anger and shame. As a breeze brushed by, he felt chill bumps erupt along his back and spine… but it wasn't just the cold. Someone was near…

"Gaara?"

Kankuro's gravely, sleep-ridden voice wafted from the rooftop stairway. Gaara growled under his breath. This was not the person he wanted to see right now. But Kankuro, apparently oblivious (or just apathetic) to his brother's sulking, carefully traversed the slant of the rooftop to sit next to his sibling. "Thought I'd find you here," he said, shrugging his robe tighter to ward of the chill. "Where's your shirt? Aren't you cold?"

Gaara rewatched the scene of Sakura disappearing down the stairway with his robe billowing behind her. He could do without it, but he wasn't sure if he could take it back now. It would smell too much of her: of vanilla and flowers, like the forest home she came from. He would not be able to wear it again and not think about this night… not think about his failure.

"Hn." was all he said.

Kankuro shrugged and said, "Suit yourself," and then laid stretched out on the rooftop, very similar to how Gaara had done when he was here only moments ago with Sakura. Gaara stole a glance at his brother, silently wondering how and when Kankuro had become so comfortable with him. He obviously was still scaring others away, so why did Kankuro stick around?

Kankuro didn't seem to notice Gaara's insightful gaze. He simply stared up into the twinkling stairs and black stained clouds. He was clean-faced and shaggy-haired, not what Gaara was used to seeing. He imagined if he would have had real eyebrows, he and Kankuro would truly look more like brothers. The world was used to seeing them as characters: Kankuro with his elaborate fighting gear and purple war paint, Gaara with white Kage uniform and the kanji mark on his forehead. Up here, however, away from prying eyes, they were just two brothers watching the night slowly and sadly fade into morning.

"Couldn't sleep," Kankuro said dryly, still not looking at his brother. "I came out to get some water from the kitchen, and along my way I…" he paused before continuing, "Ran into Sakura."

Gaara tensed uncomfortably, angrily. It was as though he didn't know how to react to this information, so his instincts picked a familiar reaction instead of an appropriate one, though he didn't know what the most appropriate response would be.

Not unaware to Gaara's quiet fury, Kankuro continued lightly, "Well I guess technically she ran into me. Pretty hard I might add… nearly knocked me over." He stole a sideways glance at Gaara. "Did… something happen?"

All at once, Gaara felt all of his emotions collide clumsily at once: the shame he felt at scaring Sakura away, the despair of the beast inside him that wanted Sakura so badly and knew it couldn't have her, the confusion he felt about what had led to this ridiculous turn of events, and the rage he felt at knowing his siblings – his brother – had played role in leading up to this moment. If they hadn't interfered, none of this would have happened!

"What's it to you!?" Gaara snapped. Suddenly alight with a rage he did not see coming, he smashed his drink glass onto the roof tiles. It splintered into sharp angry points that sliced his hand and sent strikes of pain through his arm, but the sensation only ignited his chakra. He knew his sand shield was too far away to have protected him from this moment, but even subconsciously he felt he could feel it shuddering in his gourd several floors down. In its absence his chakra flowed unwittingly out and around him, making the very grains of dust on the roof shingles shiver and swirl.

Shocked by the sudden outburst, Kankuro sat up sharply, sensing the danger at hand. He reflexively pulled into a defensive position, his heavy robe swinging like dead weight below his strong body. Gaara, too, snarled and assumed a fighting stance, ready to pounce at any moment. He didn't need jutsu – he would handle this with his bare hands.

But Kankuro did not raise any threatening movements. Instead, he forced himself to relax, and he presented his hands open and outward in a show of surrender. He hadn't seen Gaara so enraged in a very, very long time. "I'm sorry," he said slowly, "Whatever happened up here… it's not my business if you don't want it to be…"

Gaara made no indication of attack nor of resolution, so Kankuro continued cautiously. "She looked… upset and she…" he grimaced, knowing his next words might be too much, but chancing the outcome anyways, "She was wearing your robe, so I thought…"

"You thought what, exactly?" Gaara spat. Kankuro now felt a slight vibration under his feet. Something really had happened up here… he didn't know what, but his brother was suffering for it. That much, he could tell.

"I thought… you might like someone to talk to," Kankuro said with a carefully measured meter. "You know, like we talked before?"

Gaara felt insulted by the very idea. Talk? he thought angrily. The last time they had talked, he'd taken a chance in confiding to his brother. Then Kakuro had betrayed him to tell Temari. Then they two had coerced Sakura into kissing him out of what… pity?! He couldn't bear the thought of it. He could not believe he'd gone so far as to feel thankful for their involvement, because at the time he was so desperate for a chance at mending some sort of real relationship with the kunoichi. Well now that ship had proverbially sailed, and he felt nothing but rage at his siblings for dragging him into this. If it wasn't for them Sakura would never have—

She would never have…

Kissed him.

Gaara's heat slowly subsided, but he did not relax as the thoughts swirled through his mind. If Temari had not befriended Sakura, if Kankuro had not convinced Gaara to confide in him, if they had not concocted this ridiculous plan to arrange a "kissing lesson" for him, then that fateful night with Sakura would not have changed his life.

Kankuro and Temari were the ones that convinced him to reach out to Sakura and perhaps spark a friendship… and it had, however briefly, worked. It had spiraled into a moment of unbridled happiness that Gaara wasn't expecting. No, the unfortunate situation he was now in was his own fault, not theirs. They didn't know Gaara's sins up here on the roof. They could not know his shame in ruining the one thing he wanted so badly. But if it had not been for his brother and sister, he would not have made it as far as he had to this point. He would be avoiding Sakura, not seeking her out. He would be silently cursing his own thoughts about her, instead of living real moments with her. These bright moments were the product of his siblings' interference. The dark moments were, as expected, his own doing.

Kankuro watched in quiet relief as he saw his brother slowly relax, the chakra energy receding into his body and the sand particles on the rooftop finally stilling. All that remained was the quiet drip, drip of blood leaking from Gaara's damaged hand. Without speaking, Kankuro shrugged his robe off, then pulled off his plain black sleep shirt and handed it to Gaara. The latter accepted it wordlessly, carefully plucking out the jagged pieces of glass that remained in his swollen hand and then wrapping the shirt around it tightly. He knew the wounds were superficial, but they were still going to hurt for a few days. Now, both men stood still and stoic on the top of the Kazekage tower, each staring the other down and waiting for who would make the first move.

Finally, Kankuro became overwhelmed by his own curiosity and dared to ask again, "So… do you want to tell me what happened, or should we just keep standing up here with our shirts off?"

Gaara's eyes narrowed, but he transitioned to a seated position regardless, carefully planning his response. He could tell Kankuro to fuck off, considering he was an uninvited guest to this evening's events. Then again, seeing his brother act so carefully and intentionally… he knew this was a different side to Kankuro. His brother was usually quick to crack a joke at any opportunity, but now he was serious and sincere. While Gaara considered his options, Kankuro slid his robe back on and assumed a seat next to Gaara. Both men were quiet for a long while, before finally Gaara spoke.

"I brought Sakura up here."

"I see," Kankuro nodded. "Did you come here to talk about the medical team… or something else?"

Gaara felt a flicker of anger again. He knew his brother was baiting him. "We shared a drink together… as friends."

Kankuro's eyebrows all but disappeared behind his shaggy brown hair. "Friends," he echoed. "Well, that's an improvement! For the past few days, you weren't even talking, right?" When Gaara didn't answer, Kankuro improvised. "So, you shared a drink, talked a bit. Did you happen to talk about… you know?"

When Gaara's jaw muscle ticked, Kankuro knew he had hit a nerve. He opted for a different approach. "Well, you know... being friends is great. It's a great step to being more than friends. That's… what you want, right?"

Kankuro's words cut Gaara like a dagger through his chest. He squeezed his wrapped and bloodied hand so that the real, stinging pain might distract from the aching, internal one. "Yes," he said tightly, "But I have…ruined that now."

"Ruined?" Kankuro said in shock. "How?" When Gaara stayed silent for a long time, Kankuro's impatience bubbled up again. He simply couldn't contain it. "Listen, I… understand if you don't want to tell me what happened, but," he attempted to make eye contact with his little brother, "I want to be able to help, and I can't do that unless I know at least some details. You don't have to tell me everything. I respect your privacy and all." He let out a deep sigh, "I just really hate seeing you like this, Gaara."

Hearing Kankuro talk to him, and about him, like this left Gaara dazed. Even when they'd spoken before about Gaara's feelings for Sakura weeks ago, Kankuro still spent most of his time cracking jokes. This time was different. He had never been particularly close with his brother… in fact this may very well have been their first serious, "heart-to-heart" conversation. Gaara felt, for once, that leaving his guard up was not only hurting himself, but also his brother who, in his own way, was trying to really be a brother right now. After years of feeling like Kankuro hated him, feared him, now he was trying to show that he did care for him. Gaara took a deep, stinging breath of cold night air.

"I kissed her again."

Outwardly, Kankuro displayed only mild shock and interest. Inner Kankuro, however, was reeling. "I see," he said calmly, and displayed his hand in a clear indication for Gaara to continue. "Do go on."

Gaara grimaced, not buying Kankuro's calm appearance for a moment. He knew he would burst with excitement any moment, so he decided to get out all the pertinent information as quickly as possible. "She only did it because… I told her it would be another lesson." He steeled himself to the harsh reality of what he would say next: "It wasn't a real kiss. Not for her, anyways. She was trying to really teach me," he felt disgusted even saying that word, as it so blatantly pointed out his own inefficiency. "She left because… I suppose because I hurt her somehow."

Kankuro was silent for some time but his Mind. Was. Racing. Gaara? Asking a woman to have a drink with him? Electing to have a kissing lesson despite having never kissed before? Could this man really be Subaku no Gaara? Kankuro could barely contain his energy, though he tried so very hard to appear calm and collected for the sake of his brother.

What finally brought Kankuro back down to earth was the image of the damaged man before him: Gaara's slumped, defeated posture… the sad and silent way he gazed at the rooftop tiles lost in his own thoughts. This wasn't the Gaara he was used to seeing. That Gaara was always in control, always thinking out the next step in the plan, always ready for his opponent's next move. Whatever had happened between Sakura and Gaara up here had really done a number on his little brother. He didn't look like the proud leader and warrior of Sunagakure. He looked like any other young man on the verge of heartbreak. He looked – broken.

Kankuro placed a warm, rough hand on Gaara's shoulder. "Listen… whatever happened, it may have just been a misunderstanding. You and Sakura have had a rough start, but I stand by what we said before: Sakura is a smart and accomplished woman. If she didn't want to kiss you, she wouldn't even entertain the idea." He punched Gaara's shoulder affectionately. "If she went in for a second kiss, then it was definitely a good sign."

"It was for a lesson," Gaara corrected him with a growl, not at all accepting the punch as a show of affection.

"Yeah, right," Kankuro scoffed, "We're all adults here. Sakura is well within her rights to around kissing whoever she wants. And who she picked is you."

Gaara wasn't convinced. She had seemed oddly committed to her "teaching" role in their interaction, and more than once she had seemed shocked by his insistence to continue. There was also the added concern that he was the Kazekage… maybe she simply felt pressured by his authority to complete the task he requested. When he shared these concerns with Kankuro, the older sibling brushed them aside.

"You're not giving Sakura the credit she deserves. She's a grown woman, and a proud shinobi. She wouldn't disrespect Konoha by messing around with the Kazekage just for the hell of it. Also, she's definitely made it clear when she disagrees with you. I've seen that side of her in action, and she won't back down for anything. As for the teaching thing, well," he wagged his eyebrows suggestively, "Maybe you really did just need the instruction."

Gaara could tell that Kankuro's regular demeanor was returning, as was his propensity for bad jokes. Despite this irritating feature, Gaara found himself hearing truth in Kankuro's words, and he secretly felt a pang of jealousy that Kankuro apparently knew Sakura better than he did himself. He really wasn't giving Sakura the credit she deserved in this situation. She had made most of her own choices regardless of interference by himself or his siblings. She had chosen to have a drink with him when he'd offered, she'd chosen to share her feelings of entanglement and confusion with him, and she'd chosen to accept his request for another lesson. Part of him felt that he had egged her on a bit, and he felt rather guilty about that, but he had never forced or commanded any of her actions. In fact, when she'd stopped their moment together and ended it so abruptly, he had made no motion to stop her or to demand she stay. Perhaps I should have, he thought solemnly, perhaps I should have stopped her and at least explained myself.

Well, it was too late for thoughts like that now. What was more important in this moment was realizing that Sakura was autonomous in her own decisions, which made Gaara feel slightly better. His inner beast purred at the notion that Sakura may have wanted his company, that she would have refused him if she hasn't at least been interested in the prospect…

"Why, then," Gaara asked, not realizing he was speaking out loud, "Did she run away?"

Kankuro knew the question wasn't directed to him, so he didn't attempt to respond at first. The question simply hung in the air heavily as the brothers watched the first yellow hue of dawn start to creep over the horizon. Gaara had been out on the roof for longer than he'd thought. Already too soon a new day was beginning, and he would have to leave the memories of this place, or what happened, and let it disappear like the wisps of cloud that would fade away with the sun came into view.

"I don't know that I can answer that," Kankuro finally said. "That's a question that might be better for Temari… She's closer to Sakura than I am." Gaara said nothing. Kankuro sighed and continued, "She might just be confused. I know you're probably confused, and I'd guess she is, too. It's been a crazy two weeks. Just… give it time."

Gaara slipped his good hand into the pocket of his sleep pants and carefully fingered the tiny paper star she had given him. "I don't have time to give," Gaara said quietly. "When her mission ends, she'll be gone."

Thank you as always for your continued support.

Until next time,

Olly