A/N: A big thanks to all who are reading this story! It's so fun to write and has been good for decompressing.
Chapter 9:
Olivia hopped out of Klaus's arms and rushed into Eloise's. "Ms. Trahan! Davina is really hurt bad!"
Eloise gave her a squeeze and then leaned down to smooth Oliva's dark hair down and adjusted her thick tie-dyed headband which was now falling across her forehead. Her arm still surrounding her student, she crouched down next to her, "I know, sweetheart. We are going to figure out how to best help her, okay? I know it is scary. I'm scared too. But we are going to try our best to be brave."
"Just like Harry when he went down to find the Sorcerer's stone."
"Exactly like that. You are just as brave as a witch than Harry is a wizard. But even if we are brave, it's okay to be sad or scared. We are going to try to help both you and your sister. Do you understand what I mean?"
Olivia nodded and Eloise smiled at her, "Good girl."
She stood, taking Olivia's hand in hers, "Where is Elijah?" she asked Niklaus, who was watching her with an unreadable expression on his face. The truth be told, with each passing day, Klaus was finding Eloise just as endearing and compelling a person as his brother Elijah did. There was something so sweet and heartfelt about her...a pureness that had nothing to do with her lack of sexual experience, but the beauty of her soul. And it came out most of all around the children she taught and loved. For so long he had stood in the way of Elijah and the women he loved, but Eloise...there was a shared sense of admiration there...and a desire to allow Elijah his chance bit of happiness, especially with a woman who was clearly special.
Niklaus cleared his throat, "He is consulting with Sophie and the witches about how to proceed."
"And Davina?"
"Marcellus is going to bring her here."
"I'm going to stay here too!" Olivia said, hopping on one foot. "Mr. Klaus said so. He said I should call him that since it's so confusing with Mr. Elijah and them both being Mikaelsons."
Eloise laughed, "I think that's an excellent idea. Mr. Klaus it is. I like it."
"And he said not to worry about social services, not one bit!"
"I see," Eloise squeezed Olivia's hand and gave Klaus a questioning look. "What's this about?"
"I don't think it is wise to separate the girls until we figure out the best course of action."
"Of course," Eloise met Klaus's eyes, quizzically, who met her gaze steadily.
Hayley came out the library, "Can I help?" she asked as she surveyed the scene.
Klaus nodded at Eloise, who crouched down to be eye level with Olivia, "Hey, Olivia. I want you meet someone special." she turned her towards Hayley, "This is my friend, Hayley. She is very special just like you, except she is a werewolf princess, not a witch."
Olivia's mouth dropped and Ella grinned, "Isn't that so cool?"
Olivia nodded, seriously, suddenly in awe of Hayley.
"Do you think you can go with Hayley and maybe watch a show? Mr. Klaus bought a new tv yesterday and he got cable and everything... I'm sure there is a show you can find...if Niklaus doesn't mind."
"I do not."
Eloise stood as Hayley leaned down to address Olivia, "Let's see what we can find, okay?"
Olivia nodded and took Hayley's extended hand.
Eloise watched them and waited until the door closed before turning back to Klaus, "Tell me the truth, Niklaus."
"We simply do not know yet. Davina is being sedated now, until we can figure out how to control her magic."
"Do you think it can be controlled?"
"Doubtful," Klaus said, "She took on the power of the other three witches when she wasn't sacrificed. Perhaps it has simply become too much for her."
Eloise bit her lip as she tried to process the information, her thoughts swirling in her mind.
Klaus came closer to her and lightly grasped her forearm, "Elijah would like you to go home and retrieve more clothes...stay a while. Kieran is going to talk to the human faction about cancelling school until this can be figured out. He thinks you would be safer with us and knows you would want to be here anyway if the girls are staying here with us."
She nodded, but still didn't say anything.
Klaus cleared his throat, his eyes still studying her carefully, "Have you eaten?" he inquired.
Eloise looked startled, pulled away from her thoughts, "I had coffee, but I wasn't hungry."
"Come," Niklaus inclined his head, "Let's find you something to eat. I, myself, could use a blood bag."
She nodded and he frowned, but took her by the arm and led her to the kitchen.
"Sit here." he pushed her down on a stool at the counter. He searched around and put a muffin on a plate for her as he reached for a blood bag for himself.
"Eat, little teacher," Niklaus said, his eyes still watching her carefully.
She took a bit of the muffin, chewed and swallowed, it clustering in her throat. She coughed a bit. Niklaus poured her more coffee, which was still hot in the pot.
"Drink, sweetheart." He frowned, "You normally love muffins and all sorts of sweets."
Eloise took a sip and then said, "I have trouble eating when I am this anxious. When I'm stressed, I snack, but when I am truly anxious, everything tastes awful and my stomach just hurts if I try to eat."
"That doesn't sound healthy."
"No, but, I don't think it is abnormal," Eloise shrugged.
"Try another bite."
She managed another bite while Klaus drained his blood bag.
"I hate these things," Klaus groaned, tossing it in the trash can, "but with a child in the house...well, I suppose I better get used to it once my daughter arrives."
"Yes," She forced herself to eat a few more bites, before burying her head in her hands, covering her face.
Klaus sighed, coming to sit on the stool next to her. "I told Elijah he should be the one to come and I deal with the witches, but they are so skittish around me that he felt it best that he handle it. I knew this would affect you. You have such a sensitive disposition."
"I'm fine," Eloise sighed, before raising her head, "Elijah knows he doesn't need to babysit my feelings. This isn't about me."
"Yet, it is hard for you. You cannot deny how much you do care."
"Yes, I care for both of these girls," Eloise said. "And the thought of what may come, it's awful to process."
"Yes. Are you going to cry?"
Eloise's lip quivered a bit, tears swelling in her eyes, "You know you should never ask a person that...it always opens the floodgates." Eloise wiped her eyes, "How do you not know that after a thousand years?"
Klaus shrugged, "I never really cared for all of that."
Eloise took another bit and swallowed a gulp of coffee, "now, you see, Niklaus, I do think you have a sensitive side to you...you are an artist. You can't create such impassioned works without feeling something...when you feel it, you don't understand it, so you press it down...or act in the opposite way to not feel the pain associated with feeling such."
He paused, taken aback, "You are insightful."
"So, I've been told," Ella said dryly. She pushed aside the muffin and chewed on her thumb, contemplatively. "I have a thought."
"Yes, what is it, little human?"
"Tell me that the solution to Davina's troubles is not to complete the Harvest."
Klaus frowned, "Why would you think that?"
"Isn't it logical? We circumvented the magical order of things. The spell wasn't completed and Davina took on the magic herself...which means...there are consequences, right? Nature always tries to right itself."
"Where did you learn all of that being a human?" Klaus's eyes met hers.
She paused, biting her lip, "I don't know. I just knew it somehow. Like a distant memory of someone saying that...at some time."
Klaus frowned at her, "That's odd."
Eloise shrugged, "My grandparents were from New Orleans and my mother died here when I was Olivia's age. I could have heard it when I was a kid. It's not really important."
"If you say."
"I mean...it's silly right? I'm just worrying for nothing."
"Probably so," Klaus said, but his brow was furrowed. "I will come with you to your apartment. I don't feel right you going by yourself. There is a lot of tension in the city right now. Olivia will be safe with Hayley."
She nodded. "I'd appreciate it, if you don't mind."
"I don't mind at all."
Eloise brushed aside Davina's hair out of her face, carefully not to mess with the IV keeping her sedated.
"What if we are overreacting?" she turned to Sophie and Marcel. She glanced at Elijah and Klaus who were both standing the same way, leaning against the door (in Elijah's case) and wall (in Klaus's case) with their arms crossed...their eyes on Eloise.
"The texts are clear," Sophie said, "The harvest must be completed."
"I just..." Eloise bit her lip, "There has only been one sign. One. It could be a fluke. Don't we owe it to Davina to make sure?"
"She has been sedated," Sophie said, "Earth. Wind. Rain. Fire. The city will be destroyed unless we complete the reaping. It has started."
"Who will complete the reaping any way?" Eloise asked, "This discussion is absolutely pointless because as you said, there is not an elder currently available to complete the ritual."
"Yes, and I have been trying to work on that," Sophie said. "There is a loophole where I can consecrate a dead witch and absorb her power to complete the ritual, but all of the witches here are already consecrated."
Niklaus turned to Elijah, "We may have a solution to that at least."
Elijah cleared his throat. "Yes, but we would have to get permission from our sister as well."
"We don't need a solution," Eloise insisted, "Because we are not completing the Harvest."
"Eloise, my dear, it may not be avoidable," Elijah said, his voice calm, but firm.
"You, yourself, said only this morning that you thought it was the case." Klaus added, his eyes steady.
"Well, yes, I was only speculating. And what the hell do I know about all of this? I only learned about you guys a few months ago...I'm certainly not an expert."
"You do have good instincts, little teacher, if that is what you thought," Klaus countered.
"And now, Eloise, there is proof that indeed, this might be the case," Elijah added, smoothly. "We hope it is not, but we must be prepared if it is."
Eloise looked between each brother, having the feeling that they were both handling her, and she wasn't sure she appreciated the tag-team effort between the Mikaelson brothers.
"Hum," she grunted and then turned to Marcel, "What do you think?"
"You seek a third opinion," Elijah drawled, but his eyes held his amusement, "One that you think will be amendable to your point of view?"
"Marcellus is practically a baby," Niklaus added.
"And yet, he loves Davina too...so I want to know what he thinks."
"Eloise, what do you think you could do to stop of us, if we decide that the Harvest must be completed?" Klaus asked, quietly.
"Absolutely, nothing," Eloise countered, "But I believe both you and Elijah will figure this out...and I'm here to persuade you to figure it out without sacrificing Davina's life...and I want to know what Marcel thinks. What's the problem with that?"
"None at all," Elijah said, his voice low. "Marcellus, you have been quiet. What is on your mind?"
"I'm not sure what to think," Marcel said, "I'd like to know that if we do go through with this, that it will work. What's your solution to the lack of a witch elder?" Marcel turned to the Mikaelson brothers.
"Mother dearest is currently buried in New Orleans...and as you know...she is a witch." Klaus said.
Sophie's eyes grew wide, "Esther? Her power is legendary."
"Your mother was a witch?" Eloise asked, her forehead creasing.
"Yes, dearest, how do you think we became what we did?" Elijah said, his voice low. "It was our mother who turned us into vampires."
Eloise's eyes widened, but she didn't say anything more.
"Would that work to use our mother?" Elijah asked Sophie.
Sophie nodded, her chin bobbing up and down like it did when she was nervous.
Eloise sat on the edge of Davina's bed, her shoulders slumped.
"Eloise," Elijah's voice was gentle, "I am not saying that is the final solution, only an option. It is best to be prepared for every contingency."
Eloise let out a long breath and then stood, "If that truly is the case, then I have a request to make."
"Which is?" Elijah studied her, carefully.
"Take the sedation away and see what happens."
"Are you crazy?" Sophie's eyes were wide.
"No, I do believe I am the sanest one here." She retorted, adamantly. She pointed at Sophie, "You are a witch wanting to kill a child. These three," she gestured to the men, "are vampires who suck on human blood for nourishment and I am...well," Eloise shrugged, "I'm just ordinary. But even being ordinary, I do have a brain in my head and I can think logically...so no, I'm not crazy. You have a hypothesis and instead of killing a child, let's see if there is more evidence that your theory is correct." Ella reached out to fiddle with Davina's teddy bear which was laying on the bed. She fluffed it up, fixing the ribbon around its neck. "What's a little rain, wind and fire anyways? The city has seen worse from time to time."
"It will destroy the city," Sophie countered. "It will be gone."
"We won't let it get that far," Eloise said, "But we owe that much to Davina, to not act impulsively. It's her life."
"She will be resurrected in the reaping."
"There was a time you didn't believe that!" Eloise exclaimed, "And I'm sorry, but your kind, they killed one of my best friends so...I'm sorry if I am not that trusting when it comes to the word of a New Orleans witch."
"That's unfair. I had nothing to do with that."
"It still happened."
"It is a bit irrelevant, little teacher," Klaus said. "I've killed many."
Eloise shot him a scathing look, "I'm not in the mood, Niklaus."
"Touché," Niklaus drawled.
Elijah cleared his throat, "We will think about it, Eloise."
"Good, I need to go check on Olivia," She leaned over to fix Davina's hair before adjusting her blankets. She turned and reached for Marcel's hand, squeezing it. "Will you make sure she is okay while I take care of Olivia?"
"Of course, Ella," Marcel said, gripping it tightly. She looked him in the eyes and he understood her plea well. She needed him to advocate with the rest of them...for Davina. He nodded at her evenly and Ella moved towards the door.
"Excuse me," She nudged Elijah out of the way of the door.
"Of course," Elijah moved to let her pass.
"I am going to read to Olivia in the sitting room if that's okay. And then see if I can get her to sleep. Will you find me later?"
"Of course. I'll come in a few minutes."
"Okay, sounds good," Eloise forced a smile, but her eyes were weary. Already, her emotions were fraught in anticipation of what was to come.
Elijah reached out to put a hand on her face, rubbing his fingers across her cheek gently. "You didn't eat much dinner."
"I wasn't hungry."
"A snack before bed then?"
She nodded.
"And maybe a stiff drink, brother," Niklaus said, "Or she will never sleep tonight."
"You happen to be absolutely correct, Niklaus," Eloise smiled at him, "But if Olivia wakes up in the middle of the night, I need to be sober."
"One drink shouldn't make you drunk," Klaus countered.
Eloise gave him a look, "I am completely a lightweight when it comes to hard liquor, especially when I have hardly eaten all day."
"A glass of wine then," Klaus pressed.
"Maybe," she shrugged. "Think about what I said, please," she said as she impulsively leaned over to kiss Elijah's cheek before leaving them alone.
Elijah stood at the doorway to the sitting room, watching Eloise with Olivia, animatedly reading from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Her arm was around Olivia, rubbing her shoulder gently as she read.
"One more chapter, Ms. Trahan?" Olivia asked as Ella reached for the bookmark.
"I feel as if Ms. Trahan has a shirt that says that, Olivia," Elijah said, amused.
"She does!" Olivia said, smiling. "She wears it on some Fridays for dress down days."
"Guilty as charged," Eloise laughed, "How long have you been standing there?"
"Enough to know that Harry and Ron should never have taken the flying car to begin with."
"Indeed," Ella smiled, widely. "Such a poor choice on their part."
"Please, Ms. Trahan? Just one more. I need to find out what happens! I cannot wait until tomorrow."
"Well..." Ella glanced at the clock, "I suppose..." She cleared her throat, "If I get some water. My throat is getting scratchy. We have read alot tonight."
"You are a softie, Eloise," Elijah said. "Hand it over here."
"Really?" Eloise titled her head.
"Do you mind if I read the next chapter, Miss Olivia?" Elijah asked, taking the book out of Ella's hand and sitting next to them on the couch.
"No," Olivia's voice was shy.
"Good," Elijah cleared his throat. "Go get yourself some water, Eloise. We shall be fine together, yes?"
Olivia nodded, "Come back soon. I want you to hear too."
Eloise smiled, "Be right back then."
She went to the kitchen, bumping into to Klaus on the way back, "Hey."
"Little teacher." Klaus nodded at her in greeting, "I thought you were reading to the child."
"I was, but she insisted on another chapter. Elijah is reading to her now. I think he thought I needed a break."
"Do you need a break?"
"I am exhausted, but it isn't Olivia...it's everything, you know?"
"I know. Marcellus is beside himself, but he is trying to hide it. We are easing Davina off the sedation. You were right that we cannot assume the worst."
Eloise nodded. "Good. I will get Olivia settled into bedtime and then check on Davina. I want to talk to her."
"Of course, as long as Marcellus is still there in case Davina's magic becomes uncontrollable again," Klaus accompanied her to the sitting room, "Elijah used to love to read to Marcellus when he was a boy...and then he stopped. I never understood why."
Eloise was watching Elijah with Olivia, a small smile on her face. In that moment, her feelings for Elijah were so clearly evident. There was so much respect and she cared for him, deeply. It was written upon her expression and Niklaus looked between her and his brother and then decisively reached for her arm, pulling her back.
"What is it?" Eloise asked, quizzically.
"Eloise," Niklaus pulled her aside again, out of the entrance way to the room, back into the foyer. "I must talk to you."
"Okay, you look serious. What is it?" she repeated.
"You must know my brother will do what he must to keep us all safe...and that includes you."
"But not Davina?"
Niklaus met her eyes. "We may not be able to keep her safe. He will wish to, but you cannot fault him for difficult decisions that must be made. I see how upset you are by the thought. I do not wish you to get your hopes up...it is very likely Sophie is right that we must complete the Harvest. Your instincts were correct, Eloise. You should prepare yourself."
"Do you really believe..." Eloise's voice trailed off as a loud howling filled the air, followed by the door flying open and the slamming shut with a gust of wind. The noise of the wind was loud, even cutting through the walls of the compound.
"What is that?" Eloise asked, as Klaus grabbed her and forced her into the sitting room.
Elijah rose quickly, "Stay with Ms. Trahan, Olivia," he said, putting the book on her lap. "Niklaus."
"Ms. Trahan, what's going on?"
Ella looked at Elijah, her face creased in worry.
"I'll be back in a moment. Niklaus," Elijah inclined his head.
"Stay put, little teacher." Klaus ordered, firmly.
"Of course." Eloise went to sit next to Olivia, her arm around her, "Here, let's read some more. Where did Mr. Mikaelson stop? Can you show me?" She managed to distract Olivia by reading, trying to ignore the howling.
Elijah and Klaus came back a few minutes later.
"What is that noise?" Olivia asked innocently.
"Just a little wind, little one," Klaus said, smoothly.
Wind.
Eloise froze, her heart twisting. Her eyes grew wide as her gasp filled the air.
"Eloise," Elijah said, sharply. "It is just a little wind." He met her eyes.
"Of course," Eloise managed to school her expression, "Nothing to be afraid of. Maybe we are having a tropical storm off the water. I haven't checked the weather in a while." She stood, "I think it is bed time, little one."
"Can I sleep with Davina?"
"Ah, she still feeling a little under the weather," Elijah said, "You can have your own special room."
"I will be close by," Eloise said, "And I will stay with you until you fall asleep."
"Thank you, Ms. Trahan," Olivia stood and gave her a hug around the waist, "You're the best."
"There you are," Elijah said, softly as Eloise came back into the sitting room, to find Elijah by himself, with a tumbler of blood in his hand. "Is the child asleep?"
She nodded. "I think I am going to shower and then sleep on the floor in Olivia's room."
"Of course. Use my shower. Did you eat something?"
"I had some cereal."
"That's not a proper dinner."
"We already had dinner," Eloise titled her head.
"In which you ate three bites," Elijah countered, taking another sip of blood.
"Yes, well, I have trouble eating when I am anxious...and I am completely unraveling on the inside."
"I can tell," Elijah said, his eyes on her. "Niklaus is worried about you. I am as well."
"I'm fine," Eloise crossed her arms, "Where is Niklaus?"
"Calling our sister."
Eloise froze, "Elijah."
"If the situation worsens, we must complete the ritual. Sophie will use my mother to do so. All there of us remaining Originals will need to be there."
Eloise swallowed hard, "I don't know what to say. I mean...the thought...it's horrific."
"I know." He drained his drink and put the tumbler on the side table.
"It's the reason why Marcel and Kieran stopped it to begin with...three girls are already dead."
"Yes, I know. And I am saying there might not be a choice. We cannot allow the city to collapse."
Eloise stared at him, chewing on her thumb, contemplatively. "I need to go shower...I don't want to wait until morning in case the girls need me."
"Makes sense. Go on then."
The tension between them was thick as Eloise turned and then turned back, abruptly.
"Elijah." her voice broke.
She was in his arms before she could blink, his arms holding her tightly. He didn't say a word to her, just holding her against him, allowing her to cling to him...gather whatever comfort and strength she could from his closeness.
Finally, she said, softly, "This is all so hard."
"I know."
She pulled away to look at him, reaching up to touch the stubble on his face. Her hand dropped as she leaned to give him another kiss on the cheek, before leaving without another word.
The night and next day was agonizing. Davina remained sedated. And yet when night fell, the rain poured, flooding the city.
"Hello, my darlings," Rebekah said, "You all are a sore sight."
Eloise and Hayley were arranging buckets, as the ceiling was leaking in the two story foyer.
"Rebekah!" Eloise grinned and then ran to hug her. "How did you remain so dry?"
"Vamp speed from the car," Rebekah said, hoisting her bag, "I barely made it in. The roads are treacherous."
Eloise looked at Hayley, who sighed.
"I'm going to go check on Olivia," Hayley whispered and then reached out to squeeze Eloise's hand before giving Rebekah a hug and going upstairs.
"Where are my brothers?" Rebekah asked.
"Upstairs arguing with Marcel."
"I see," Rebekah said, "Why are you down here?"
"Kieran and Sophie are up there. Nicklaus kicked me out."
Rebekah frowned, "Why would he do that?"
"He said I would only get upset and he knows my opinion. Elijah and Kieran both agreed and here I am..."
Rebekah took ahold of both of Ella's hands, "You look exhausted, Ella. Did you not sleep?"
Eloise shook her head, "Maybe an hour. I don't think it will be different tonight. I'm trying to stay close to the girls in case either of them need me."
"You poor dear," Rebekah pulled her in for an embrace, and then pulled away, "Come on."
"Where are we going?" Eloise asked as she followed her up the stairs.
"To see my brothers. Not knowing is the worst. Nik was wrong to kick you out. He can be quite protective...annoyingly so." She looked behind her as she went up the stairs, her hand on the railing, "And when we are done with that, I must know all the details of you and Elijah. Niklaus said that Elijah fed on you."
Eloise blushed. "Yeah, he did."
"Why didn't you say?"
"Texting about that just seemed awkward."
Rebekah laughed, "Darling girl. I did miss you so."
Eloise grinned, "I missed you, too, Rebekah."
"Sister," Elijah embraced Rebekah tightly, followed by Niklaus.
Niklaus frowned at Eloise, "I believe I told you to go downstairs."
"And I told her to come up. She is agonizing over what is happening. Besides Marcel, she is the closest to Davina, not to mention how much she loves Olivia. She has more right than any of us to be a part of this."
Eloise looked at Marcel, who was sitting beside Davina holding her hand.
"The poor girl," Rebekah said, letting go of Klaus and going over to put a hand on Marcel's shoulder. "Where is Sophie and Kieran?"
"Preparing." Marcel said, ominously.
Eloise's face paled. "What are you talking about? For what?"
"The reaping," Marcel's voice broke.
Eloise twisted towards Elijah, "No! Elijah, you can't let this happen!"
"Eloise," Elijah's eyes met hers, "Come. We shall talk." He extended his hand to her.
"But..."
"I insist," Elijah said, firmly. "Now, please, my darling."
His back was straight and although his look was kind, she knew that he wasn't going to let her argue with him. As kind and honorable as he could be, he was an Original...and when it came down to it, he was controlling, holding a tight reign over any situation...especially ones that affected the safety of his family.
"Of course," Ella looked to Rebekah who gave her a sympathetic look as she put her hand in Elijah's.
"We will catch up later, dearest," she said, trying to keep her voice bright. "Maybe a drink tonight...it is a wretched one."
"Yes, count me in," Niklaus said.
"I wasn't offering one to you, darling," Rebekah gave him a sassy look.
"Oh, you wish for that type of talk," Klaus said, winking at Ella.
"Eloise, come," Elijah squeezed her hand and led her away from the others.
Elijah took her into the music room, "Sit. We must talk." he gestured to her to sit on the small settee.
Eloise sat, crossing her arms, "Before you say anything..." she looked him in the eyes, "We cannot decide anything without talking to Davina."
"We did." Elijah twined his hands together, standing in front of her. "She agreed with us."
"What?" Eloise exclaimed, "Was she awake? Why didn't you come and get me?"
"She didn't need your help to make this decision. Marcellus and Joshua were both there. She knows what must be done. Even sedated, her magic is wreaking havoc on the city. The harvest must be completed. Davina has asked for you and Olivia to spend time with her tomorrow before the ceremony. You can talk to her then."
"No," Eloise shook her head, adamantly. "You have to find another way! This is insanity!"
"Eloise," Elijah sighed, "If there was one, I would gladly do so."
"I don't accept it."
"Listen to me," He held up his hand to stop her argument, "You must do so."
"I cannot."
"You must," he countered, firmly, "This is not a choice, Eloise. You must accept that this will happen and support Davina through it. Sophie believes the ritual will work."
"Do you?" Eloise asked, pointedly. "I want to know. Do you believe that Davina will come back?"
Elijah titled his head, "I am not certain. I have seen many things in my long life. And the literature points to it. The city will be destroyed, that much is clear. How many deaths do you wish for if we do not follow through with this?"
Eloise leaned over, her elbows on her knees, her head buried in her hands. "God, help us. This is crazy."
Elijah took deliberate steps towards her, crossing the divide between them. He knelt beside her, carefully removing her hands from her face. He kissed each hand before reaching up to wipe the tears falling.
Eloise looked at him for a moment before wrapping her arms around his neck. Elijah didn't hesitate to shift her off the couch and onto his lap.
And yet again, no words where necessary between them.
And when Eloise was done crying, she lifted her head, "I want..." she gently ran her hands through his head, "I want to be there. Will you allow me to come?"
Elijah frowned, "It will be very difficult for you to witness it. I'm not sure that is advisable, my darling Eloise."
"Davina needs me. No matter what."
"Marcellus will be there."
"But I am her friend as well. And I must be there, Elijah. Please."
"Eloise," he chided, gently, "I am not sure you are prepared for this...truly prepared."
"And I'm saying that regardless of all of that, I need to be there. And we should wait until Olivia is asleep tomorrow night. It will be too hard on her."
"Hayley will be able to watch over her. And Joshua." Elijah leaned to kiss her head, "If you feel you need to be there, you can come."
"Thank you."
"But you will stay out of trouble. Allow the ritual to complete without interference."
"How do you think I could thwart the will of two witches and four vampires, Elijah?"
"Ordinarily, I would laugh at the notion and yet, your love for those girls is so strong. I saw how reckless you were when Olivia was in danger."
"Protective," Eloise corrected.
"Recklessly protective," Elijah countered.
Eloise shrugged, "Fair enough. If you are concerned, keep a hand on me or task Niklaus with it."
"Oh, believe me, I will," Elijah said, leaning over to give her a kiss on the forehead. "Two hands. Are you certain?"
Eloise nodded.
"Very well then," Elijah sighed, but didn't argue further.
Eloise's heart was hammering through her chest, trying to keep the tears at bay as she let go of one of Davina's hand. Marcel pulled Davina for a long, tight, fatherly hug.
When he finally pulled away, a kiss to her head. "I will be right here, D."
"I know," Davina's lip trembled as she smiled. She turned to Eloise.
Ella had talked to Davina before Olivia, Davina and her spent the afternoon together. They tried to explain everything the best they could but it didn't go over too well.
"You should go home, Ella."
"No," Ella reached for Davina's hands, "I'm going to be right here too, Davina. Okay?" She looked into her eyes, "Are you sure?" she murmured.
"Yes, there is no other choice. I feel it, Eloise. It has to be done."
"I just..."
"You did everything you could," Davina pulled her in for a hug. Ella squeezed her.
"This isn't supposed to be this way."
"I know," Davina said, pulling away. "But maybe it won't end this way, Eloise." She wiped at Ella's eyes, "Don't start or I'm going to start." She gripped both of her hands, "Thank you for being my friend when I needed one the most. You made an awful situation better for me...and I know you will always watch out for Olivia...if I don't come back."
"Of course. She is a special girl, just like her sister."
"Just like her teacher," Davina squeezed her hands and then let go. She then turned to Elijah, looked him straight in the eyes, "Do right by her or I swear to you, Elijah Mikaelson...if I don't come back, I will haunt you for the rest of your days. And you are an Original so that's a long time..."
"Of course, you have my word, Davina. I will do right by Eloise. Always." Elijah stepped forward and extended his hand to Eloise, his eyes meeting hers, strengthening her. "Eloise, my dear, we will wait and watch over here."
She looked at Elijah and then Davina...Sophie, Klaus, Rebekah, Marcel...and then back at Elijah.
"Come," Elijah nodded at her and she put her hand in his and he tugged her closer to Niklaus on the periphery of where the ritual was going to take place.
"Are you ready?" Sophie asked, quietly.
Eloise fought the panic that was welling up inside her and ever aware of her reactions, Elijah immediately let go of her hand to put an arm around her waist, pulling her into his side.
"Are you scared?" he whispered in her ear.
"Yes." she whispered to him, "I feel panicked."
"I know. You don't need to watch," he murmured in her ear. "It's enough she knows you are here. Don't watch."
"If she can be brave, then I have to, Elijah..." Ella said, her voice trembling.
"Eloise," Elijah entreated.
"She is right, brother. We cannot protect her from this." Niklaus's eyes were on Davina and Sophie, his hand moving to Marcel's shoulder as Rebekah put her arm around Marcel's waist. Sophie was beginning to chant, the knife in her hand. They were all shoulder to shoulder, gathered tightly with each other, watching the events unfold.
Eloise held her breath as she began to shake.
Niklaus's other hand reached out in the dark for Ella's hand, gripping her sweaty palm tightly in his large hand. And when the worst happened, Ella screamed out, tugged her hand out of Klaus's and lurched towards Davina as the ground began to shake, a tree in the graveyard split in two, crashing to the ground. Elijah, surprised by her abrupt shift in behavior and the current state of the graveyard, had momentarily loosened his grasp enough to let her go. But seeing her jolt towards Davina, he rushed forward, grabbing her by the waist and pulled her back, restraining her.
"I need to get to her." Ella cried.
"Stay where you are," Elijah said, holding her tight. "The magic of the ritual is out of control. We can withstand it, but...you are human."
"But," Eloise wiggled and Elijah squeezed her even tighter so she was engulfed in his arms, barely able to breath.
"No. Brother. Take her. Don't let her go closer. I'll talk with Sophie. Perhaps if I get closer I can help her harness mother's ancestral power better."
"I'm coming with you." Marcel said as Niklaus took Eloise into his arms, holding her back as Elijah and Marcel approached Sophie. The earth was still shaking.
"Stop. Do not panic." Klaus said, firmly. "It is not helping Davina. You must calm."
"I can't."
"I'll bite you if you do not stop. Blood loss should calm you quite nicely, little teacher."
"You wouldn't do that!"
"I would if it was for your own good. Now, calm yourself. There is nothing you can do as a human. Let Elijah and the witch handle this."
Eloise let out a long breath, "Okay. I'm trying."
"That's a good little human," Klaus said, easing his grip slightly so it wasn't so crushing, "I don't want to break your bones."
"Thanks for that." Eloise retorted sarcastically.
"You're welcome." He still held her, "Are you okay? he whispered in her ear.
"I don't know is happening and not knowing...I assume the worst," Ella murmured, calming down as the graveyard began to slowly stop trembling. "I'm sorry I panicked."
"I'm not sure what is happening either," Klaus said. "It's alright, little teacher. That was too much for you to see. Are you calmer now? You are still trembling, love," His grip lightened even more, but his arms were still around her, in an embrace.
Ella nodded. "I think I should sit though."
Klaus eased her down on the grass and Rebekah plopped down next to her.
"Here," Rebekah reached for her hand. "Hold my hand, dearest. The waiting will be the hardest part."
They watched as Elijah and Marcel conferred with Sophie and waited. Waited for what seemed like forever. Klaus put his hand on Eloise's knee after a while and her trembling eased, under the weight of Klaus's hand.
"It should have happened by now." Eloise said to Klaus, anxiously.
"Hush, love." He patted her leg. "We must be patient."
Sophie was continuing to chant, Marcel and Elijah watching over her...She stopped and then reached for Elijah's hand, trying to channel the magic better...yet still nothing. She persisted until the minutes turned to an hour until finally, she stopped...exhausted and defeated.
"We should..." she paused. "We need to bury her."
Eloise's eyes grew wide as she hopped up, "No! You said this would work." She confronted Sophie, her eyes wide, Klaus and Rebekah close behind her. "We can't just bury her. Keep trying the spell."
"It's not working."
"Then get another witch who knows what they are doing," Ella said, "We can't just let her die."
"She is already dead." Sophie buried her head in her hand, "I'm sorry."
Eloise turned to Marcel, "Do you know any one...can we find someone else? Please, Marcel. We have to try something else."
Marcel shook his head, "If she can't do it...I don't think it is possible."
"But...we can't just stand here and do nothing! We promised her! We let her...and...this is crazy. Do something. Someone...just do something! You are a witch. And you three are originals...and you are like a vampire prince, so just do something!"
"Eloise," Elijah admonished.
"No," Ella shook her head, her breathing labored, "This was supposed to work. Elijah, you said..."
"I never said it would work," Elijah said, calmly, "I hoped it would but..."
"No! Do not say it!" Ella waved her arm as she shook, her knees knocking against each other. "Why am I the only one willing to fight for her? Why aren't you doing anything? What good is it having magic...or supernatural powers if you can't fix this?! I need you to fix this!"
Elijah left Sophie's side and strode to where Ella was standing, close to Klaus. He put both hands on her arms and bent down to where his mouth was by her ear. He knew his siblings and Marcel would be able to hear, but he wanted some privacy from Sophie.
"Eloise," Elijah's voice was low in her ear, "That is enough." he admonished, sternly, trying to pull her back into control.
"But..."
"It's done." He said, his voice firm as his eyes met hers. "She must be buried and consecrated."
Eloise closed her eyes, tightly. "It's done."
"Yes."
She opened her eyes to look at him, tears flowing, "Elijah. Please."
"I wish there was something I could do," He pulled her in for an embrace, hugging her tightly. "We will talk more later," he said, his voice and eyes kind as he pulled away. "But in the meantime, we need to bury Davina before the other witches and supernatural creatures catch wind of what is happening."
Eloise bit her thumb, "I'm not leaving until she is buried properly."
"Of course," Elijah began unbutton his sleeves and roll them up methodically, "I wouldn't expect you too. Marcellus. Niklaus. A hand, please? Sophie, I assume everything is set up for the consecration."
Sophie nodded, trembling still.
Eloise turned to Sophie, "This is so..." her voice trailed off. Rebekah edged closer to Eloise, a protective hand on her forearm.
"I know." Sophie's voice held her sorrow.
"If you truly believed this, then you should have found a way to take her magic and sacrificed yourself."
"I wish I could have."
"That would have never been an option," Niklaus said, holding the shovel. "Her life is still linked to Hayley's...and my child."
"Your stupid insurance policy," Eloise gritted her teeth, "How convenient for you."
"You acted like I wanted this! I was trying to help prevent all of this...with them."
"All I know that we have now four dead girls...because of the witches of this quarter. So, yes. I blame you. I blame all of you."
"You lashing out at us isn't going to bring Davina back," Elijah said, quietly as he began to dig. "And when you are in a better state of mind, your words will only come back to haunt you."
Eloise twisted at her ponytail, looked at Rebekah. "I need to sit next to her."
"Go on then," Rebekah said, kindly.
She went to sit by Davina and reached for her hand, trying to warm her up. "I don't think she should be alone. Maybe we should clean the blood off her neck."
"I can help you," Sophie offered.
"Do not touch her!" Eloise said, her eyes angry. "We need a cloth. We can use some of that water you were using for the ceremony that did absolutely nothing."
"Eloise," Elijah frowned at her. "I do not think it's necessary for you to do so..."
"Let her do it, brother," Niklaus said, quietly. "It is how she needs to take care of her. If she sits here idle, she will only get angrier and full of despair. Rebekah, would you help her?"
"Of course," Rebekah said, quietly moving to Eloise's side. "Come, my dear. We will clean her up together."
Eloise held a sobbing Olivia, smoothing out her hair. They had come home to find her awake, sitting next to Hayley...Hayley's arm around her. Josh was next to her, keeping watch. She looked for Davina and when she didn't find her, she immediately ran to Ella's arms and stayed there, crying uncontrollably for Davina and her mother.
"Should we compel her calm?" Klaus asked, handing Elijah a drink.
"You can't compel a child, Klaus," Marcel retorted.
"Says whom?"
"Doesn't seem right."
"It's not," Elijah took a long sip of a drink, his eyes on Ella as she struggled to console Olivia.
Ella gave them both a look and then gently pulled Olivia where she could look at her.
"Olivia," Eloise looked into her eyes, "It's okay to be sad. I'm so sad too. And it's okay to cry and sob and yell and scream. I want to too."
Olivia grew quiet and wide eyed, "Do you?"
"Oh good, then we can compel you, little teacher," Klaus said. "I'm certain there are no rules against that."
"There most certainty is, Niklaus Mikaelson," Eloise shot him a look.
"Made by whom?"
"Me."
"Again, there are no rules against that."
"Brother," Elijah entreated. "Eloise is trying to comfort the child. Do not distract her, or we will never get any peace tonight."
"Oh yes, is that what she is doing?" Klaus retorted, "Fascinating technique, Eloise."
Eloise rolled her eyes at Klaus and then focused back on Olivia, "Anyway. When I feel like that...after I have a good cry. I try to calm myself down. I breathe and listen to some music. Do you want to try?"
Olivia nodded and Ella smiled at her. She looked over at Elijah, "Can you get my phone and the earphones that are in my school bag?"
"Of course," Elijah came back a few seconds later, handing them to Ella.
"That was super fast," Olivia said, through her tears.
"Vampire speed does come in handy," Elijah winked at Olivia and she managed a smile.
Eloise plugged the earphones into her phone, swiped at her phone, found some classical music and gave it to Oliva. She eased Olivia off her lap and put her arm around her. "Put the earphones on and snuggle up against me. There we are. Now, close your eyes, sweetheart. And try to work on your belly breathing, okay?"
While Eloise was settling Olivia, Marcel had left and came back, handing Olivia a teddy bear of Davina's and Olivia clung to it. Eloise smiled at Marcel. "Thank you."
Marcel nodded.
Olivia leaned her head against Ella's arm as her eyes grew heavier, until finally she was asleep again.
Eloise let out a long breath, relieved. "Elijah, can you take her in a few minutes to her room? I'll change and then lie on her floor again in case she needs me."
"Of course," Elijah said, "But why don't you sleep with me tonight? You haven't gotten much sleep the past two nights and I'm concerned about you...You aren't in the right frame of mind to handle all of this without better sleep."
"My brother is right," Klaus said, firmly, when he saw Eloise open her mouth to protest. "You did right to stand watch over the girls, little teacher, but you are not one to brush your own feelings aside so readily. This night was trying for you between Davina's death and non-resurrection and coming home to Olivia awake. Allow Elijah to take care of you."
Eloise's lip trembled. "I just don't think I can leave her alone."
Marcel stood, "I will watch over her tonight, Eloise. I promise she will not be alone."
"My brothers are right," Rebekah stood, her drink in her hand, "You look ghastly, my darling. Hayley has gone to sleep and you should as well. You don't have the same energy being a human than we do."
"I don't know if I can sleep at this point."
"At the very least, try," Marcel said. "Rebekah can keep me company tonight."
"I'd be delighted, Marcel," Rebekah said, with a smile. "See, it's settled, Ella. We shall have breakfast in the morning, all of us, yes?"
"Wonderful, notion, sister," Klaus said, "I can take Olivia to her room if you would like time to get some things before settling for the night, Marcellus."
Marcel nodded and Klaus squatted down next to Eloise. "Try to get rest, little teacher." He gently reached out and touched Eloise's hand lightly before easing it off her lap and gripping it in both of his. "I'm very sorry for Davina. I know that you cared for her."
She had to visibly reel in her feelings as she began to tremble under the weight of them, "Thank you," She managed to say, her voice hoarse.
"Of course," Klaus let go of her hand, but leaned up to give her a kiss on the head, his hand on her cheek, patting it gently. "You were very brave tonight, little teacher."
Tears flooded her eyes. "Thank you for being next to me in the graveyard," she murmured to him.
"My pleasure."
He leaned to carefully untangle Olivia from Eloise, trying not to wake the child. He removed the earphones and handed Eloise's phone to her, before hoisting the child easily up in his arms, along with her blanket and teddy bear.
"Thank you, Niklaus," Elijah said. Klaus nodded and then left with the child.
Eloise's shoulders slumped as she dropped her head in her hands, her elbows on her knees, leaning over.
Elijah studied her carefully and then exchanged a look with Rebekah.
"I am going to go home and change and then I will come and watch Olivia." Marcel said, quietly.
"I will meet you in Olivia's room."
He nodded and then left with a swoosh.
"Eloise," Rebekah said, quietly going to sit beside her, putting her arms around her. "You have been such a dear to those girls. Do let my brother tuck you in bed and comfort you."
"I'm so glad you are here, Rebekah," Ella said, softly. "I really missed you."
"I know. I'm glad I am here too." Rebekah held her tighter, "It always looks so grim the first few days of grief. And then slowly the throbbing pain, it easies. It just takes time. But you know that, don't you?"
She nodded. "Unfortunately, yes."
"The best thing you can do is not hold it in so tightly...I know you had to do for the girls, but its going to eat at you. My brother can more than handle emotions...goodness knows he is used to them between Kol, Nik and myself. Actually, he is one of the best."
"I can see that," Eloise said, "He is so steady."
"The steadiest." She gave Ella a kiss on the head, tenderly, "Now, I must go watch over Olivia. I expect you to sleep in. We will all take care of everything. Don't you worry."
Rebekah rose off the couch before giving Elijah a kiss and headed to Olivia's bedroom.
Eloise raised her head to look at Elijah. "I'm a mess right now."
"I know. Come. It's bedtime." He extended his hand and she pushed herself off the couch and put his hand in his. He led her to his bedroom and then pushed her into the lavatory before reaching for her pajamas and handing them to her, before shutting the door behind him.
Eloise got dressed and brushed her teeth, used the bathroom and came out to find Elijah changed and ready for bed...in a tshirt and pajama pants.
"Every time, I see you looking so causal, it just makes my heart jump," Eloise commented. "It's like this whole different Elijah."
He grinned at her, "It's only for you. Usually I wear nothing to bed. I have had to improvise for your innocent eyes."
"I see," Ella moved into his arms and he hugged her, holding her securely in his arms. "No offense. But I'm not ready for naked sleeping."
"We should probably kiss first, eh? Would that be more advisable?"
"Maybe a good idea," Ella said, lightly. "I'm sorry things have been so...crazy..."
"You aren't ready at the moment for us to move forward until things settle."
"I mean I am ready...but processing one more type of emotion right now, might shatter me."
"I know that." He held her tight. "I didn't want you to come tonight with us for that reason."
"Davina needed me there. It wasn't something I could not do."
"But for you to see that...I am used to such things...and Marcellus. Niklaus. Rebekah. Even Sophie to some extent. But you? Sweet Eloise, it was too much of a weight for you to bear."
"Yet, I had to."
"I know. I just could hear everything- your heart thumping, your pulse throbbing, the heat of your body, the tension that exuded off of you...at one part, I swore you stopped breathing. You felt it so deeply... everything Davina was feeling...your ability to emphasize, it's part of your beauty, but the cost of it? I cannot imagine. My brother saw it as well...reaching for your hand. You have bought the best out of him, Eloise. As you do I."
"I was surprised," Eloise murmured, "But weirdly, I needed him then...just as I needed you."
"How are you coping?"
She pulled away from him to look him in the eyes, "I thought...maybe Sophie was right. Maybe the books were right and she would come back...and when she didn't, I just felt..." She paused, her lip trembling as her eyes began to overflow with tears. "I think it's why I lashed out right after."
"How did you feel?" he asked, gently. "You can tell me what you are thinking. I will not think less of you for it...or be insulted by anything you say to me in this moment. You just need to get it out."
Eloise sniffed hard and took a cleansing breath, "I feel like we murdered her. Did we?"
"Her magic was still out of control, Eloise," Elijah's voice was quiet, but steady. "There was no choice. She was a danger to the entire city."
"But she is still a child." Eloise began to sob. "What did we do?" she began to sway, her body trembling, wracked with her emotions. "Choice or no choice. We murdered her. We are murderers. And it was Davina...how could we do this to her?" She bent over, shaking and sobbing.
Elijah lunged forward and grabbed her, holding her up against him. "Get it out."
She began to sob uncontrollably against him.
"I have you."
"I feel so out of control. It hurts so badly. Sean. Davina. It all hurts."
"I know. Here. Let's get you in bed and we can talk." He lifted her up and putting her in bed with him. He pulled the covers up against them, but not before leaning over to turn off the light. Then, he pulled her tightly against him, letting her cry it out. "What do you need?"
"I need you to tell me we are not murderers."
"I am a murderer. You are far from it."
"I thought she would come back. I felt it in my heart after talking to Sophie and Davina...I felt like it was real. And...how could I be so stupid to believe that?"
"Eloise..."
"No, there are things I believe. I believe adamantly, Elijah." Eloise said, hiccupping and sobbing at the same time, "I'm not Catholic like Kieran, but I do believe in God...and my faith, it gives me strength and moral direction of how I need to live...and sometimes it was the only thing I could hold onto...with my grandparents and then Sean...but for a moment, I let myself get drawn into this...mystery of a world I don't understand...and I lost the truth of what I do know. And what is right...and wrong...how could I let this happen? I should have...we could have made her run." Eloise sobbed more, trying to find her thoughts. "We should have made her run. We could have chosen differently. She could still be alive. That would have been the right thing."
"No, the magic would have destroyed her...from the inside out. There was nothing that could be done, except what was done. That is the harsh reality, but it is reality, Eloise."
"I failed her. I promised I would help her."
"You did help her."
"Holding her hand to lead her to her death?" Eloise sobbed, "That's not a help. That's complicity."
"You are not complicit. All of this was started before you even knew that there were such a thing as witches in the quarter. It would have been finished whether you were there or not. You have no guilt in this, Eloise. Not at all. Feel the burden of grief, of the tragedy of a life ended too soon, but do not put the guilt of the witches upon your shoulders. They are not even your people."
"But..." Ella let out a breath, "When Kieran talks about darkness and light and good and evil...I believe that...and...I failed."
"No, you did not."
She buried her face in his chest, "I don't know what to do any more. It's like everything is turned upside down...and what I thought is true, what I know is true...I still think is true, but it's such a wrestling to figure out..."
"Oh, Eloise..." Elijah sighed. "It is complicated. You do understand that it isn't mutually exclusive...your beliefs and the supernatural world...?"
"Yes. At the moment, I just want to go back to being stupid ignorant Eloise." Eloise snuggled more into Elijah, "I'm so tired. And I just feel like we are just getting started. Like there will be more to come."
"Hum," Elijah nudged her away from him, "I wish to tell you something...to offer something to you. But I need you to calm down to hear it."
"What is it?" She asked as he turned on his side, facing her, their pillows touching on the large bed. He carefully brushed away the plastered hair, the city lights filtering through the curtains to illuminate the pain on her face. He gently padded away her tears that were staining her face and rolling down her face still. He took his time, wiping away the tears, stroking her hair, rubbing her shoulder, his hands comforting her as he waited until the sobs subsided...his tenderness and patience was enough to calm her spirit.
And when she was calmer, he said,
"If this is all too much for your heart...and you find that you need to leave, I will help you do so...I am good at reinventing my life and I can do so for you. I will find another path for you, away from New Orleans. I will not have this city break you. I would not be able to bear it."
"Do you feel it is breaking me?"
"Tonight, I do," he said, quietly. "Your pain is so raw. And the complexity of this all, you are too intelligent, too astute, too compassionate and too ethical not to wrestle with it...but I fear for you...I do not wish such pain on you and I believe I cannot prevent it."
"Do you wish me to leave?"
He paused his touch, "No. I do not. But it would be best for you, if you do. Safer."
"The supernatural world extends past New Orleans, yes?"
"Of course. Even in quiet towns...but..." he paused, "New Orleans is different. It is an intersection of all these worlds."
"It's like a hotspot of supernatural activity."
"Exactly."
"But would me leaving be best for my students? And the students that I will end up teaching in my career?"
"A person such as you can make a difference any where you are, Eloise."
"Yes. But I cannot run. And I feel like I was deceived for years. I do not truly want to go back on being ignorant and oblivious, only to avoid the pain in this life. I mean, at the moment, because it is hard and my heart literally aches, I wish to, but I know that isn't right."
"There is such a thing as your physical safety."
"Yes, but as you said, I could just as easily die from a car accident than a witches curse or a vampire bite. And Elijah, if I am living in this supernatural world, I don't think I can be any safer than with you by my side."
"And of course, when I am with you, I will always ensure your safety, but I cannot guarantee it when you are apart from me."
"How many years were I safe in this city as a human without you? I truly think I can be fine."
"Will you think about it though?"
"Sure. After I sleep. Right now, I don't want to think about a damn thing...not tonight. It's just too much."
"Good," Elijah reached to rub her temples, "Close your eyes then."
"Hey?" Eloise opened her eyes, "Thanks by the way. For being here. And getting into the messiness with me."
He gave her a small smile, "You are welcome. I am accustomed to the messiness, Eloise. And the wrestling. It does not trouble me."
She reached for one of his hands, holding it against her. "Sometimes, I feel like my heart is skipping a beat when I'm anxious."
Elijah paused, his gentle smile shining through the light. "No skipping. Your heartbeat is quite steady, Eloise."
"Will you keep your hand here just to make sure?"
"Of course, if you need me to."
"Does it bother you...or tempt you?"
"Tempt me for your blood?"
"Yes."
"No. Close your eyes and sleep, my sweet girl."
"Goodnight, Elijah." Ella closed her eyes.
"Goodnight, Eloise."
A/N: thoughts?!