"They should be just around this corner. Hurry!"
Anders led the way through the Deep Roads, Marian and Carver just behind him while Varric held up the rear. The sickly pallor to Carver's face had gotten worse in the last thirty minutes alone, and Marian was afraid, so afraid, of the possibility of losing her little brother to the darkspawn taint.
"Come on, Carver," she gasped, throwing his arm around her shoulder so he could lean his weight upon her. "It's not too far, and then you'll be well again."
He groaned a little; his other hand clutched his stomach. "I hope you're right. This was worse than the dragon pox that Beth and I got when we were seven…"
The Deep Roads had been—and continued to be—absolutely miserable. It took two weeks to locate the proper entrance even with the assistance that Anders's maps had provided, and another week to delve far enough into the dwarven tunnels to locate the primordial thaig. And then, the cream at the top of the crap, Bartrand had found his stupid lyrium idol, taken it, and locked them in the ruins.
And now Carver had caught the darkspawn sick during one of their last battles. The only hope Marian had of saving him, her other sibling, her family, was blindly trusting in Anders's suggestion of finding the Grey Wardens.
The tunnels were endless. It was impossible to tell whether Marian and her friends had traversed them already, because they were all so alike.
It was quiet save for Carver's ragged breathing and the occasional sound of Varric firing Bianca at the stray darkspawn following them. Not even their footsteps could be heard—it was like the cavern swallowed up everything beyond a whisper.
"Here!" shouted Anders, looking backwards. He rushed back to Marian and took Carver's other arm around him, to help support this last leg of the journey.
When they turned the next corner, hidden beyond a few far-off shadows were silhouettes of men, and not monsters. They seemed to notice that Marian and the others were not darkspawn, and closed in the remaining distance between them.
Their leader was a muscular man with a black mustache and piercing eyes. His gaze landed sternly upon Anders as he said, "Anders. I thought you left the Grey Wardens."
"I did," said Anders. "But we need your help. Carver—he's been tainted by the darkspawn. Without your aid, he'll die."
Marian's heart leapt into her throat at these words. She knew that that was what would happen, she did, but… it was another thing entirely, to hear the words spoken aloud so blatantly.
The Grey Warden spent only a second looking upon Carver before nodding, the stone in his eyes melting away. "Indeed. It's a good thing you found us when you did. Another hour and it would've been too late."
"Can you do anything?" Marian blurted out.
The man nodded, but slowly. "It's possible, yes. But he will have to leave the Deep Roads with us, and become a member of our order."
A dead silence settled across those who were accumulated. Marian stared at this man; her heart was still pounding in her throat, constricting proper breath. It seemed almost like one way or another, she would be losing her brother…
But at least with the Grey Wardens, there was a chance he would still be alive.
She turned to Carver, her eyes sorrowful. "It's your choice, you know."
Carver snorted. "Not much of a choice, really. But I'd rather not die, so… I'll go with them, if they'll have me."
"So it will be," said the Warden. He stepped forward, taking Carver's arm from Marian's shoulder to place it around his own. "My name is Stroud. Should you survive the darkspawn sick and the Joining Ritual, I will be your commander from that point onward."
"Thanks," grunted Carver, although it seemed like he wasn't focusing too hard on his future commander's words. His eyes were upon Marian; there was sorrow and guilt there, as well as no small amount of fear. Taking a deep breath, he said, "If I make it… I'll write you."
"Please," was all Marian could say. She reached out and ruffled her brother's hair, the way she knew he pretended to hate but actually found at least a little amusing.
He nodded once and, despite the immense pain she was sure he was going through, mustered a smile. "Give Mother my love. And… take care of her for me."
Marian nodded again. Every expenditure of her body was heavy, like lead. "I will. I promise. Take care, Carver. I—I'll miss you."
Carver did not have anything else to say. He nodded towards both Varric and Anders—perhaps a man's way of saying a heartfelt farewell—and then he was turned away by Stroud and the remainder of the Grey Wardens accompanying them. He did not look backwards as they rounded the corner.
The moment that she knew they were gone, Marian sank to her knees in the middle of the underground road. A sob tore through her mouth.
This time, the caverns wouldn't seem to stop echoing. Her sobs bounced off the walls and returned in full force, as if to torment her with the sounds of her own guilt and fear. Everything hurt: everything refused to stop hurting.
Someone knelt beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. It was Anders, who was allowing her a modicum of privacy by keeping his gaze trained to the floor. His fingers trailed lightly through her ebony-colored hair, taking care to be as gentle as possible.
"I should've had him stay home!" wailed Marian. She sniffled once and almost choked on the effort of that gesture alone. "I should've told him not to come!"
"You know that wouldn't have turned out well, either," Varric sighed. He clapped a heavy hand upon her shoulder. "Junior would've resented you for going without him, and might've done something stupid to get back at you."
Marian shook her head. "You don't know that."
"No, I don't. Just like you had no way of knowing that the darkspawn would get to him."
She choked back another sob and ferociously wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. Although her eyes were still wet, Marian raised her gaze to the dwarf and asked, "What the hell am I going to tell my mother?"
Varric had kept his composition for the time-being, knowing that Marian needed strength. But when she asked this question, his countenance broke. "I don't know, Hawke. All I know is that I'll be there with you to tell her, should you ask it of me."
The underground roads were quiet; an incredibly rare occurrence, considering the numbers of darkspawn littering the place. Varric continued to keep a sharp eye out for any intruders while Anders took over the conversation.
"Look, Hawke," he said softly: gently. "I wish I could tell you what you should do. But for now, we should focus on getting back to the surface. Varric and I will be with you the whole way, as long as you need us. Right?"
Varric nodded, not even needing to look back at them.
Marian ran a hand through her hair and sighed, her eyes downcast. There was still a storm raging like a maelstrom through her chest, but Anders had a point. Even though it felt like a portion of her world was crashing down around her, they were still in a dangerous place. "I see. Thank you. Let's just… get back to the surface, then."
She took the hand that Anders had extended and rose to her feet. The next words she spoke rather escaped her lips without them meaning to. "Anders, how likely do you think it is Carver will survive that Joining Ritual?"
Anders blinked in surprise. He thought for a moment… and then squeezed her hand and said, "Stroud was one of the officers I knew. He once told me that anyone with an indomitable spirit would survive against the Joining, perilous as it might be. And we all know your brother—he's far too stubborn to die at the hand of some old magic. I think he'll be fine."
This coupled with the warm smile that Anders shot her way did make Marian feel a little better. The sorrow upon her face cracked to reveal some relief and gratitude; she rested her head upon his shoulder only briefly and replied, "Thank you. I… needed to hear that. I just hope you're right."
There was little more to say or do from that point onward. There was treasure, plenty of gold, in their pockets—and while Marian was grateful for her friends' support, she would give it all away in a heartbeat if it meant having her brother back.