Chapter 1: Paris
A/N: Tonight is the anniversary of my first fanfic post, which was the first chapter of "Maybe we should have talked sooner." When I first came up with the storyline, I had two plots mapped out in my head. It seemed like people preferred angst and slow burns, so I went with that version of the story (and I don't regret doing so). However, people had mixed feelings about the story. Plus, I've learned A LOT about what I like to write and what people like to read over the past year. Therefore, I thought I'd share the alternate storyline.
The full series (Rizzles Maybe Series) will continue in the timeline of "Maybe we should have talked sooner," but the sequels will follow in a way that readers who either only read or preferred this alternate version will be able to continue the series with very little confusion.
Note that the first half of chapter one will be the same as the first half of the first chapter of "Maybe we should have talked sooner," but it will diverge from there.
Jane
"Mauraaaa! Where are we going?" Jane whined.
Maura rolled her eyes as she responded, "I promise you will like it, Jane."
"If I'm still alive when we get there."
Maura rolled her eyes again. It was true that they had been walking quite a bit today, but she knew Jane was fine and just liked complaining. Maura and Jane had been in Paris for three weeks and only had one week left of their trip. So far, the trip had been even better than Maura had imagined when Jane told her that she was coming with her to Paris. They had been able to see so much, and Maura had written plenty for her novel, but most importantly, they had been able to spend time together before Jane moved to Virginia – something Maura was still not happy about.
Maura could see the restaurant they were going to up ahead. "It's just up the block, Jane."
Jane visibly perked up as she tried to see where they might be going. Despite the fact that Maura had told her she would like it, she was still surprised when Maura stopped in front of The Great Canadian Pub Sports Bar.
"Okay, now I love you, Maura," Jane said.
Maura laughed. She was also secretly glad it was dusk so that Jane couldn't see the slight blush that crept up at Jane's words. "Well, I figured you might miss your so-called 'normal' food."
Jane looked around as they walked in. She was happy to see some American baseball games on the TVs. The Red Sox weren't currently playing, but she would take what she could get. "Thanks, Maura. I have actually enjoyed the French food more than I had expected, but I do miss my 'normal' food. And I really miss baseball!"
Maura laughed again as they were shown to a table with a good view of multiple TVs – Jane, of course, sitting on the side looking at the bar since most of the TVs were behind the bar.
They enjoyed some idle chit-chat as they waited for their waiter. After both of them ordered a bacon cheeseburger, fries, and beer – Maura figured she could indulge since they were on vacation, and she had had a salad for lunch – they talked about their favorite parts of their trip so far. Jane, for one, was pretty sure she had enough pictures to fill multiple photo albums, not that she ever actually put photos in albums.
The waiter brought their food. Jane moaned into her first bite, "Oh my God, I did miss American, or I guess Canadian, burgers."
Maura smiled, "I'm glad you are enjoying your surprise."
"I really am. I know it's silly but thank you for doing this for me. I know you would never come here on your own."
"No, I suppose I would not, but I am enjoying my burger very much, as well," Maura said.
As they were finishing their meal, Jane made the comment they were both avoiding, "I can't believe we only have a week left together in Paris."
Maura immediately sobered. Jane could see the unshed tears in her eyes as Maura responded, "I don't want to think about that. I know we can't avoid it forever, but I'd like to avoid it for a bit longer."
"Okay," Jane responded quietly. If she was being honest, she wanted to avoid thinking about it as well. Not knowing what to say next, she looked around the bar silently. After staring around aimlessly for a few moments, she noticed someone who reminded her of someone she'd rather not see. Hoping she was wrong, she kept looking back in his direction. Eventually, he looked up and made eye contact. Her face immediately fell as he smiled at her, recognizing her.
Maura, of course, noticed, "Jane, you look like you've seen a ghost." She turned around looking in the direction Jane was staring. Her face broke into a smile as she noticed the man walking towards their table.
When he reached their table, Maura jumped up. She called out to him, "Ian," before pulling him into a passionate kiss.
Luckily, Maura was too preoccupied to notice Jane's reaction. Jane felt like crying, but she knew that Maura loved Ian – she had called him the "love of her life." She wouldn't ruin this moment for Maura, no matter how she felt.
By the time Maura had turned back to their table, Jane had plastered a smile on her face. "Hi, Ian. It's been a while." She held out her hand to shake his. She was disappointed when he sat down next to Maura at their booth.
"How long have you two been in Paris?" Ian asked.
"We've been here three weeks," Maura responded. "Jane is moving to Virginia to be an instructor for the FBI, so we decided to spend a month together in Paris before she left." She didn't feel like telling him how she had originally planned the trip to get over Jane and learn how to live without her nor that Jane had surprised her by joining her at the last minute.
"Wow, congratulations, Jane," Ian said looking at Jane.
"Thanks. I'm looking forward to not getting shot at on a daily basis," Jane laughed without much emotion. She felt like she was supposed to say, "I'm looking forward to it" or "to my new job" or "to starting over," but she would be lying if she said this. She honestly wasn't sure if she had made the right decision, but she was looking forward to not being shot at.
Ian laughed.
"What are you doing in Paris?" Maura asked Ian.
"I'm actually trying to figure out what to do next with my life," Ian responded.
"What do you mean?" Jane questioned.
"It's a long story, but I'm no longer able to do the work I've been doing for so long. I can no longer help bring supplies to people who need them. I'm disappointed, but I am determined to find other ways to help. On the bright side, I've been cleared by Interpol."
"That's wonderful, Ian. I know what you were doing was technically illegal, but it was so important. Your really didn't deserve to be charged. I'm sorry you can no longer continue your work, but I'm sure you will find something just as meaningful, if not more meaningful," Maura told Ian.
"Thanks. I hope so," Ian responded. Looking around, Ian said, "I think a lot of people are waiting for a table. Do you guys want to move to the bar or find somewhere else to get a drink?"
"I'm actually really tired. Maura made me walk like one hundred miles today," Jane responded. She saw Maura's reaction to her comment and knew that Maura wanted to spend more time with Ian. "Maura, you should spend some time with Ian though, if you're still feeling up to it."
Maura looked at Jane, "That is a gross exaggeration. We did not walk one hundred miles today."
Jane and Ian both laughed at the fact that Maura just had to point that out.
Maura
Maura searched Jane's face. She couldn't tell what Jane's intentions were when she said that Maura should have a drink with Ian. Was Jane sick of spending all of their time together? Did she want some alone time? Maura wasn't sure, but what she did know was that she didn't want to spend the evening away from Jane.
Emotions had been bombarding Maura all evening – well, all month, really. She had been devastated when Jane had told her that she was moving away, but Maura had tried her best to hide her feelings and support her best friend. When Jane announced that she was coming with Maura to Paris, Maura had been elated – and terrified. Paris was originally supposed to be an escape, a place to feel everything she was feeling without the need to hide her sadness and her heartbreak from everyone around her, a place to get over Jane.
She felt like she had done okay so far during the trip hiding her feelings from Jane. Yes, there were times that she was sad and Jane knew it, but she was pretty sure that she had kept it within the bounds of 'best-friend-level' sadness. Tonight, though, maybe it was the fact that there was only a week left in their trip, maybe it was because this bar felt more like home, or maybe Maura had just hit her limit on hiding her emotions, but she was feeling especially emotional.
So, when she saw Ian, she (inappropriately) redirected all of those feelings onto someone she used to love. Except, it instantly felt all wrong, and she regretted kissing him. There was no warmth flooding her body, no flutter in her stomach, no physical reaction on her part. She wanted it to end as soon as it started.
But then he sat down at their table, and now, Jane was telling her to go have a drink with him. Should she just say yes? They were both expecting her to.
No. This time, for one night, she was choosing what she wanted. She was choosing Jane. She wasn't willing to give up even one of her remaining evenings with Jane.
Maura smiled politely at Ian. "Thank you for the invitation," she said. "But I'm a bit tired too. While Jane is definitely exaggerating about how much…" she paused to throw Jane a look of mock annoyance, "…we did do a lot of walking today."
Ian shrugged. "We don't have to do anything tiring," he tried again. "We could just get a drink."
"Thank you, but not tonight," she said kindly but firmly, leaving no room to be convinced.
Ian nodded, looking disappointed, but he didn't push the issue. "Alright, well, I'll leave you two ladies to it then," he said, somewhat coldly. To Maura, he added, "I'll likely be in Boston in the next few weeks, I'll let you know."
Maura smiled noncommittally. "Have a good evening, Ian," she said. "It was good to see you."
"You too," Ian replied. "Good luck with the FBI, Jane," he added.
"Thanks," she said.
They didn't say anything for a few seconds after he left. It was Jane who spoke first. "You could have gone with him, you know," Jane said.
"Did you want me to?" Maura asked, unable to stop herself.
"No," Jane said simply.
"You're not sick of me?" she added, trying to sound playful but not quite sure if she pulled it off.
"No," Jane said with a laugh. "Not yet anyway," she teased.
Maura laughed. They chatted lightly as they paid for their meal and waited for a cab. However, Jane seemed to Maura to be quieter and quieter as time passed. She's probably just tired, Maura thought to herself, trying to push her uncertainty from her mind. Maybe she was projecting her own feelings about seeing Ian again onto Jane anyway.
But as soon as they walked into their hotel room, Jane announced, "I'm going to take a shower. I got a little sweaty and gross today."
"Okay, I think I'll do the same after you," Maura said because she did feel a bit grimy. Still, she couldn't help but feel like Jane was trying to get away from her.
Jane
After finishing her shower, Jane decided she was too tired to blow-dry her hair, so she just tried to towel dry it as best she could. She tossed on a t-shirt and shorts to sleep in before opening the door to the bedroom. Maura was sitting on the edge of the bed, holding her own pajamas. Jane could tell that her friend was anxious, but she didn't really know what to say. So, instead, she offered, "It's all yours."
"Thanks," Maura said, standing up and passing Jane on her way into the bathroom.
Jane started to try to put her clothes away when the anger and hurt that she had been ignoring since laying eyes on Ian hit her full on. She didn't want Maura to see her like this, so she grabbed her key and phone and left the room in a hurry. She looked up and down the hall for a place to hide and recompose herself, eventually deciding on the stairwell. She sat against the corner of the walls on the landing with her legs pulled up to her chest. Her head dropped back against the wall as she tried to calm her breathing, but it wasn't working. She could feel her emotions threatening to burst.
When her body started to betray her and tears started to leak out of the corners of her eyes, she finally gave into what she knew she needed to do for a while now. Jane was well known for complaining about how overbearing and overinvolved her mother was in her life (and she meant it), but the truth was, she trusted her mom more than anyone else in her life except Maura – and right now she couldn't exactly talk to Maura about this.
Jane pressed speed dial number two (because obviously, Maura was number one on her speed dial) and waited.
"Janie!" her mother's happy voice came over the line. "I wasn't expecting to hear from you and Maura tonight. What a wonderful surprise."
"Hey, ma," Jane said, trying and failing to sound as normal as possible. Her mother saw right through it.
"What's wrong, baby?" Angela said, her voice full of worry. "Are you okay? Is Maura okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, it's…we're okay," Jane said. "I mean, we're not hurt of anything…"
"What happened, Janie? Did you and Maura get in a fight?"
"No," Jane said slowly. "I've just been thinking…" She wasn't really sure where to start, and she was beginning to wonder if calling her mother had even been a good idea.
"You can talk to me, baby," Angela said kindly, and Jane could hear her pull out a chair to sit down – well, Jane wasn't getting out of this conversation now.
"Did I make a mistake?" Jane said ambiguously.
"What do you mean?" Angela said.
"Moving to Virginia. This job. I don't know, everything, I guess."
Jane heard her mother sigh over the phone.
"Why did you take the job with the FBI?" Angela asked. "The real reason."
"It's a great opportunity," Jane said half-heartedly. "And I won't be in danger anymore."
Jane knew by the pause before her mother spoke again that she didn't believe Jane for even a second. "You could have found a less dangerous job in Boston," Angela pointed out. "But I don't think that's the real reason you're leaving. However, I am sorry for the part I played in pressuring you to find a safer job. I know my outburst didn't help. I won't deny that watching you and your brother put yourselves in danger every single day is hard, but I am extremely proud of both of you. If you wanted to stay and get your job back, I'd fully support you, but Janie, is that the real issue? Is that really why you took this job? Or did you take it because it was far away from Boston?"
"I dunno," Jane said weakly.
Angela sighed. "Look, baby, like I said, I'm sorry for putting that on you," she said. "But, Janie, I've known you for forty years. While you would do absolutely anything to protect your family, even from emotional hurt, you always do it in your own way. So, maybe I forced your hand in finding a new job, but if that was all that was going on, you would have at least taken the time to find what you wanted. Instead, you took the first opportunity that came up. Jane, you're running away from something. I'm just not sure what it is you're running away from. If it's me, if it's the family…well, that breaks my heart, and I'm sorry that I did that to you…"
"No, ma, it's not you," Jane cut in.
"I could change, you know…if it'd mean you would stay," Angela said. When Jane snickered in disbelief, Angela added, "Well, I could try…"
"Really, ma, you drive me crazy, but it's not…I'm not moving just to get away from you."
"Then, talk to me, baby," Angela pleaded. "You sound like you're close to crying. What's going on?"
"I-I can't," Jane said. "I shouldn't have called. "I'm sorry, ma. I…"
"Jane Clementine Rizzoli!" Angela interrupted. "You are the bravest person I know, so stop being a coward. I'm your mother! I love you no matter what! There's nothing you could say to me or tell me that would ever change that. Ever! So just talk to me!"
"I-I'm in…I'm in love," Jane said finally, and as soon as she did, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders.
"I know, baby," Angela said kindly, a smile evident in her tone.
"What?" Jane said, completely not expecting that reaction.
"I know you are," Angela repeated. "So, what's the problem?"
Jane hesitated. Her mother must not be understanding. There's no way her mother – her mother who has sent her up on countless bad dates – actually knows what Jane is saying. Oh, she must think Jane is in love with Cameron Davies and that's why she took the FBI job. "No, ma, you don't understand," Jane said, somewhat desperately. "I'm not…I'm not moving to Virginia to be with a guy. It…that wasn't…that didn't mean anything…"
"Okay, now you lost me," Angela said. "What guy are you talking about?"
"Agent Davies," Jane said. "I'm not moving to Virginia to be with him. I…" but Jane stopped talking when her mother burst out laughing. Jane couldn't help the pout that took over her face in annoyance at her mother's reaction, even though she knew her mom couldn't see her.
"Oh, baby, do you really think I'm that oblivious?" Angela choked out through her laughter.
"No…I…what?" Jane stuttered.
"Jane, I don't even know who this agent Davies is, but trust me, I did not think you were following a guy anywhere," Angela said.
"Then, what…" Jane tried.
"Jane, I'm not going to say it for you, but you are going to have to admit the truth before you lose your chance," Angela said, sobering up.
"I-I think I already did…" Jane said sadly. "I think I missed my chance."
"Oh, baby, what happened?"
Jane sighed. "Ma, I…I love…I'm in love with Maura," Jane said, waiting on bated breath for her mother's reaction.
"I know, sweetie," Angela replied. "What happened though? Did you tell her how you feel, and it didn't go well?"
"What? You know?" Jane said, suddenly distracted.
"Of course, I do," Angela said indignantly. "I'm your mother."
Jane rolled her eyes. "Well, it doesn't matter because she doesn't feel the same way," Jane said sadly.
"Are you going to tell me what happened, or do I need to go guy a plane ticket to come over there and knock some sense into the both of you?"
"Maaaa," Jane whined.
"Jaaaannneee," her mother mocked her tone.
"We ran into Ian…you know, the love of her life…" Jane said, adding the last part dramatically.
"Oh, Janie, I'm so sorry," Angela said. "What…what happened?"
"She threw herself into his arms and made-out with him in the middle of the restaurant," Jane said dejectedly.
Angela sighed. "Jane, you need to talk to Maura," she said. "She hasn't seen or talked to Ian in years as far as I know, but you've been the center of her world for a long-time now. I hate that that happened…I hate that she did that in front of you, but Jane, you're the one who's leaving. Yeah, maybe she should have waited a little longer, but I honestly can't blame her for trying to move on."
"Ian's not moving on," Jane snapped. "That's moving backwards!"
"Just talk to her!" Angela snapped back. "I love you, Jane. I love you more than life, but you've treated her like shit with the way you've handled this."
Jane's retort caught in her throat. It wasn't like her mother to swear like that. When she burns her finger cooking, then yeah, but not when talking to one of her kids.
"But what if…what if she doesn't feel the same way…or she does but she doesn't want to be with me?" Jane asked meekly.
"Then, you'll know," Angela said. "And both of you can move on, but if you don't try, you will lose your chance. Maura deserves a chance to be happy too. You both do, but you can't expect her to wait forever."
"I…yeah…" Jane muttered. "I…you're right. I need to talk to her."
"What was that?" Angela said teasingly, trying to get Jane to say that she was right again.
"Shut up!" Jane said, finally letting out a laugh.
"But Jane, one more thing, you need to make a decision about Virginia on your own," Angela said. "Don't put that on her."
"I won't," Jane said. "I-I'm not…Virginia's the wrong choice."
"So, you're staying?!" Angela squealed, unable to contain her happiness. Yes, she wanted Jane to be safe, but she wanted her to be happy and loved and in Boston more.
Jane chuckled. "Yeah, but if this conversation goes south with Maura, you're gonna have a new roommate for a while," Jane said. "Well, I guess you may have a new roommate regardless of how this goes since I can't exactly just…"
"Jane," Angela cut her off. "Just go talk to Maura. We'll figure out the rest later. You know we're all behind you 100%."
"Yeah, thanks, ma," Jane said quietly. She took a deep breath before adding, "I should probably go back. She's probably finished her shower by now and is going to wonder where I am."
"Alright, I love you, baby," Angela said. "Everything will be okay. Just be honest with her. And listen to what she has to say, too."
"I will," Jane said. "Love ya, too. Bye, ma."
Jane hung up the phone and leaned her head against the wall again, trying to calm her nerves. She knew she couldn't sit her all night, but she needed a second to pull herself back together. She was still shocked at her mother's reaction about…well, everything…but she'd think about that later. Right now, she had to focus on Maura.
Maura
Maura wasn't surprised when Jane wasn't in the room when she got out of the shower, but when her friend still wasn't back when Maura finished drying her hair and getting ready for bed, Maura began to worry. She flitted around the room for a few minutes before deciding to go looking for Jane.
As soon as Maura flung the hotel room door open, she almost ran straight into Jane.
"Jane!" she exclaimed in surprise, her hand flying to cover her heart.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Jane said shyly.
Maura shook her head, stepping aside to allow Jane to reenter the room. "I was just coming to look for you," Maura said. "I was getting worried."
"I'm sorry," Jane said again. "Can we…uh, can we talk?"
Maura looked at Jane in surprise. She very much wanted to talk with Jane about what was going on, but she had not at all expected Jane to agree to talk to her, let alone to suggest it. Part of her wanted to immediately pull Jane over to the couch and start the conversation before Jane could change her mind, but Maura thought better of it. "Yes, of course," Maura said quickly but not too quickly. "Do you want something to drink? Beer? Wine? Tea?"
Apparently, Jane could see right through Maura's attempt at calm. Jane sighed before pulling Maura into an unexpected hug. Maura closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of her best friend. Her hands curled into Jane's t-shirt, and she buried her face in the crook of Jane's neck.
"I'm sorry I worried you," Jane said quietly.
"Jane, what's going on?" Maura asked, stepping out of Jane's embrace.
"I, um…let's sit," Jane said, leading Maura over to the couch in their suite.
Maura nodded and followed silently.
Jane sat down, pulling Maura with her. Maura shifted on the couch to face Jane. "Jane, please talk to me," Maura said quietly. "What's wrong? Did I do something? Are you sure you didn't just want some time alone? I know we've been spending all of our time together. I thought you…I thought we both…" Maura paused and took a deep breath. "I just wanted to spend as much time with you as possible before you moved to Virginia, but I didn't mean to smother you or annoy you. Please just tell me if you want to spend some time apart. An evening. A day. Whatever you want." Maura was rambling now, but she didn't know how to stop it.
"No, Maura," Jane cut in. "I'm not…I'm not tired of you. That's not it at all."
"But something's wrong," Maura said quietly.
"Wrong's probably not the right word," Jane said. "But I haven't been completely honest with you."
"Oh," was all Maura could say. She wasn't sure where Jane was going with this, and she wasn't sure she really wanted to find out either.
Jane was staring at her hands, refusing to look up at Maura. "I, uh, I think I'm in love," Jane said slowly.
Maura's heart was breaking, but she had to try her best to hide it. She had to be a good friend. Maura had suspected that part of the reason that Jane took the job with the FBI was because of Cameron Davies, but she hadn't realized how deep Jane's feelings actually were. She swallowed hard before saying, "But Jane, that's wonderful. I'm not sure why you're so afraid to tell me. I just want you to be happy. I thought you knew that."
Jane
Jane gave Maura a weird look before returning her gaze to her hands. "Yeah, I know," Jane said tentatively. She wasn't quite sure what Maura thought she was saying, but she was pretty sure that Maura wasn't actually understanding her.
"Jane, I've suspected for a while now that you felt this way," Maura said with a forced calm. "It makes sense…why you took the job with the FBI, I mean."
Jane paused. Was this Maura's way of letting her down easy? Was Maura telling her that she knew how Jane felt about her and that she was never going return her feelings, so it was best that Jane was moving to another state?
"What I don't understand, though, is why this is bothering you tonight?"
Were she and Maura having the same conversation right now? Jane couldn't stop herself as she angrily burst out, "Because I just watched the love of my life kissing the love of her life!"
Jane watched confusion then understanding flash across Maura's face as she tried to process Jane's words. Suddenly, Maura surged forward. "No, you didn't, but you're about to," she whispered before capturing Jane's lips in hers.
Jane froze, completely caught off guard. Maura instantly started to pull away in horror, muttering apologies, "Oh my god, Jane. I'm so sorry. I-I-I read that wrong. I…"
"No, you didn't," Jane said, echoing Maura's earlier words before pulling her back towards her. This time, Jane poured everything she was feeling into the kiss, and Maura immediately responded.
Maura
Maura was floating. Kissing Jane was the best thing she had ever experienced. She instantly felt warm as arousal rushed through her. Her stomach filled with the proverbial butterflies, and she felt dizzy. Their lips moved together as though they were made specifically for the other. It was amazing, but Maura wanted more. She gently swiped her tongue across Jane's lips and was immediately granted entrance. As soon as their tongues touched, Maura let out a low moan.
Maura pulled back slightly. She had no memory of moving her hands, but they were now cupping Jane's face. They were both breathing hard, and Maura was trying to memorize exactly how Jane's face looked in this moment – the kiss swollen lips, the flushed cheeks, the sparkling eyes. Maura rubbed her thumb gently across Jane's cheek, causing Jane's eyes to flutter shut at the touch. Maura smiled, leaning forward to give Jane a chaste kiss before letting her hands drop from Jane's face.
"Um, wow," Maura said under her breath, her fingers gently touching her lips.
Jane smirked. "Did I just make the great Dr. Isles speechless?" she quipped, breaking the heaviness of the moment.
Maura playfully swatted Jane's arm, laughing. They laughed together for a few moments before Maura sobered up. "Did you mean it?" she asked, vulnerability lacing her voice. "Am I really the love of your life?"
Jane became serious again, turning to look Maura directly in the eyes. "Yes, Maur…" Jane started. "Wait, who did you think I was talking about at first? When you said you'd suspected for a while?"
Maura blushed. "Oh, well, I didn't necessarily suspect that your feelings went as deep as love, but…" Maura took a deep breath before continuing, "…I thought that part of the reason you were moving to Virginia was because…because you had feelings for Cameron Davies." Maura's voice trailed out at the end of her sentence.
"Oh," Jane said in surprise, but she didn't continue.
"That's not what you were expecting?" Maura asked timidly.
"Well, no," Jane said. "I mean, after the…kissing…I didn't know what you had been talking about, but when you were saying it, I thought…"
"What did you think?" Maura prompted quietly.
"I thought you were saying that you suspected that I was in love with you, but that you didn't feel the same way, and that you thought that putting some distance between us would be best," Jane admitted.
Maura leaned back against the couch. "That could not be further from the truth," Maura said. "I hate that you're leaving. I want you to be happy, and I will always support you, no matter what. I still will, even if we decide to pursue a romantic relationship. We can come up with a plan. We can figure this out. I would never ask you to give up your dreams, but that doesn't change the fact that you moving 500 miles away…it hurts."
"I'm not going, Maura," Jane said quietly.
"What?" Maura said quickly, her head snapping up to look at Jane.
"I'm not moving to Virginia," Jane said. "And let me be clear, I'm not giving you an ultimatum. Regardless of what happens between us – even if you just want to be friends, even if you just want everything to go back to how it was – I'm not going to Virginia. I'm sorry, Maura. I'm sorry that I hurt you."
"I don't understand," Maura said weakly.
Jane laughed humorlessly. "I think you do because you know me better than anyone, and what do I do when I'm scared? Of emotional crap, I mean," she added.
Maura gave a small smile because she did know; she just didn't want to say it out loud.
"See, I knew you knew," Jane said, poking Maura in the side. "I run. I'm a coward."
"Jane, you're not a coward," Maura interjected kindly.
Jane wrapped her arms around Maura's shoulders and pulled her close. She kissed the side of Maura's head. "I am," she said. "But I never meant to hurt you. I honestly didn't think you felt the same way, and to be honest, I'm still a little confused."
"What are you confused about?" Maura asked.
Jane sighed. "Ian," she said simply.
"Oh," Maura said softly. She had completely forgotten about him, which said everything really. "I'm sorry about tonight, Jane. I shouldn't have kissed him."
"It's not about tonight," Jane said. "Okay, yes, it's a little about tonight, but it's mostly about the fact that you once told me that he was the love of your life."
"I was wrong," Maura said. "Was I in love with Ian at one point in my life? Yes, I think so, but I never loved him the way I love you. He also never loved me the way that you love me, even when I only thought you loved me as a friend. When I said that to you, I thought it was true because I thought that the way I had felt for him…when we were together…I thought that was the best love that I would ever have, but it wasn't. Not even close.
"Jane, I shouldn't have done what I did tonight," Maura said emphatically. "I shouldn't have kissed him, but you have to know, I felt absolutely nothing. When I kissed you, I felt everything. If being with Ian when we were together in Ethiopia was a ten and being with him when he'd stop by my house in Boston when it was convenient for him was – I don't know – maybe a six or seven, then just kissing you is at least a one hundred. And that's just one time. And just kissing. If we do more…"
"How 'bout when we do more?" Jane asked, drawing a smile from Maura.
Maura turned her head to share a soft kiss with Jane. "When we do more," she confirmed. "But, Jane, what exactly do you want?" Maura asked nervously.
But Jane seemed to be expecting the question. "Everything you're willing to give me," Jane said. "I want to date you, I want to propose to you, I want to marry you, and if you want, I want to build a family with you."
"Really?" Maura couldn't stop herself from asking, despite the embarrassingly large smile on her face.
"I love you, Maura, so much," Jane said.
"I love you, too, Jane," Maura replied.
"So, what do you think?" Jane asked.
"I think…maybe we should give this a try," Maura said before capturing Jane's lips in another passionate kiss.
A/N: This alternate version won't be as long as "Maybe we should have talked sooner," but both versions will end with them starting their new life together in Boston. I had originally said that "Maybe we should have talked sooner" would go through their wedding, but I'm going to split that into a separate story.