The Halloween Costume

A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting. I've been pretty sick for almost two weeks now. Not COVID but still not fun. It's taken every ounce of energy I've had to attempt to keep my head above water with school and work. I'm still not 100%, which is why I haven't been able to finish any new chapters of my WIPs (trust me, I've tried). This one was pretty close to ready so that I could post it at some point during October, so I decided to get it over the finish line to give you guys something while I get back on track. I promise I'll be back to posting regularly as soon as I can (just maybe not as soon as either of us would like).

Saturday, October 29, 2022

"Emily!" Maura called up the stairs. "We have to leave in ten minutes to go to Claire's house."

"I'm not going!" Emily yelled back down the stairs.

Maura sighed. The ten-year-old had been looking forward to tonight for weeks. Her friend Claire and her family were hosting a Halloween party. The whole family was invited to the party, but the girls were having a sleepover after.

James appeared at the top of the stairs. "Her costume doesn't fit," the almost-eight-year-old said, enjoying his sister's distress a little more than he should.

"What?" Maura said in confusion. "How could it not fit?" Realizing her son was going to answer what was meant to be a rhetorical question, she held her hand up to stop him. "I'm coming. I'll talk to her. Go downstairs, please, James," she told him. Luckily, he did so without arguing. Maura had to smile as he passed her on the stairs, his excitement threatening to bubble over.

James was dressed as a Red Sox baseball player for the fourth time, meaning he had officially been a Red Sox player for half of his Halloween costumes. Still, Maura couldn't deny that he looked adorable, just as he had every other year he'd worn a similar costume. Having been born on Halloween, he hadn't technically had a costume for his first Halloween. Jane had insisted that Maura bring a pumpkin onesie to the hospital, and Maura had dutifully put it on him as soon as she could. However, it was already November 1st by that time, something Jane reminded her of every year. She had even used it as an argument to get Maura to let her pick James' first official Halloween costume, and even though Maura knew Jane only meant it in fun – she wanted to pick his costume, but she wouldn't have pushed the issue if she thought Maura had a strong opinion – Maura had let her "win" that argument. Thus, James was a Red Sox player for his first Halloween. Jane had appeased Maura by telling her she could pick his costume the next year, but they had both forgotten one very important thing about Rizzolis and Isles: they had strong opinions. And so, James had picked his second costume – a puppy – and every one thereafter, including three more Red Sox costumes.

Maura knocked on Emily's closed bedroom door.

"Go away!" came the grumpy reply. Despite having known her daughter for ten and a half years, it still amazed Maura how much Emily could sound like Jane, especially when she was annoyed.

"Sweetie, I'm not going away," Maura said kindly through the door. "Can I please come in?"

Maura waited as Emily clearly considered her options. Ultimately, the girl knew that her mother wasn't going to just go away, so she offered a huffy, "Fine!"

"Baby, what's wrong?" Maura asked, her eyes scanning the room and her daughter in front of her. Emily was sitting on her bed in just a white tank top and underwear with her knees pulled up to her chest, and her costume was crumpled on the other side of the room – Maura suspected it still sat where it had been thrown in frustration.

"My costume doesn't fit," Emily muttered.

Maura sat down next to Emily and pulled the girl into her lap, slightly surprised that Emily let her do so. Emily so rarely allowed her mothers to hold her or offer physical comfort these days. Noticing that Emily was cold, she pulled a blanket over both of them.

"Do you want me to help you get it on?" Maura asked. They hadn't gotten the costume that long ago, Maura reasoned. Emily couldn't have grown out of it that much in such a short time.

"No, it really doesn't fit!" Emily said angrily. She pushed herself off of her mother's lap and quickly stomped across the room to her costume, which she proceeded to try to put on again. She wasn't wrong…it really didn't fit. To be fair, the Black Widow jumpsuit was made to be skin-tight, which wasn't ideal for a kid growing like a weed.

Maura tried not to laugh given her daughter's frustration, but it was proving more difficult than she anticipated. "Sweetie, you've just gone through a growth spurt," Maura said, holding out her arms inviting Emily to come back to her lap. Emily quickly kicked the costume aside and returned to cuddle against Maura. "You're going to be tall, just like mama. That's a good thing. You're strong and smart and beautiful inside and out."

"But what am I going to wear to the party?" Emily asked, ignoring her mother's compliment.

Maura glanced around the room. The costume was essentially a white jumpsuit with a black utility belt. Maybe they could put together a make-shift version of the costume. "What if you wore white jeans and a white shirt, and we can…"

"No!" Emily cut her off. "That would look stu…silly," Emily pouted, correcting her language half-way through.

"Okay, well, I'm sure we can come up with something else," Maura said reasonably.

"But everything is gonna look like it was put together at the last minute," Emily whined. "I want something authentic."

Maura thought for a few minutes, trying to come up with a solution. "Come with me," she said suddenly. She stood and put Emily back on her feet. "I have an idea."

Emily followed Maura into their room and into the closet. "Watch out, baby," Maura cautioned her daughter as she pulled out a step stool. Emily took a step back but didn't leave the closet as she watched Maura pull a large box from the top shelf.

Maura carried the box to their bed and pulled the top off. "How would you like to be a bride for Halloween this year?" she asked with a smile. Emily's jaw dropped as her eyes flew back and forth between the dress in the box and her mother.

"But that…that's your wedding dress," Emily said in awe. "Or is it mama's?"

Maura chuckled. "It's mine," she said simply as she lifted the dress from the box and held it up for Emily to see. "I wouldn't offer hers without her permission, although if you really wanted hers, I'm fairly certain that she would be okay with it, too."

"But what if I ruin it?" Emily asked.

Maura set the dress aside and sat down on the bed, pulling Emily to stand in front of her. "If you decide to wear it, you will get it dirty. We'll also have to do some altering to make it fit you. But, Em, you enjoying this dress…even if it gets dirty and torn or anything else…none of that would ruin it.

"The day I married mama was easily the best day of my life up until that point," Maura continued, looking into her daughter's eyes. "I wanted so badly to keep every memory I could from that day. I cared so much about our dresses and our shoes and so many other little things that don't actually matter in the long run. I've had a few more 'best days of my life' since then."

"Like when I was born…and James," she added her brother as an afterthought.

Catching the last second addition, Maura laughed. "Yes, those are definitely among the best days of my life, but do you know what else I've learned since then?" Maura asked.

Having picked up Maura's inability to let any question go unanswered, Emily gave it serious thought. "Uh, that you love me and James more than you love your wedding dress?" Emily offered.

Maura laughed, pulling Emily into a hug. "Okay, first of all, I love you and your brother and your mama way more than any dress…more than anything, really," she said into Emily's wild curls, holding her close. "But I knew that before I got married."

"Well, you knew you loved mama," Emily clarified matter-of-factly. "You didn't know me or James yet, so you couldn't love us yet."

"Okay, fine, smarty-pants, but I knew I'd love my future children more than my dress, and yes, I did know that I loved mama more than any dress, but we're getting off the point. What I have learned is that it's not the material things that make moments special. When I think back to our wedding, I don't think about my dress. I think about the look on mama's face when we first saw each other walking down the aisle. I think about the feeling in my heart when we said 'I do.' I remember our first kiss as a married couple. I remember your Uncle Tommy slipping on a piece of cake that had been dropped on the floor."

The last one made Emily laugh, which in turn made Maura smile.

"What blanket do I wrap you and James up in when you're sick?" Maura continued.

"Huh?" Emily said, surprised by the change of topic before she answered, "the cream one that nonna made you. You wrap us up in love."

"That's right," Maura said. "And that blanket is one of my favorite items that I own. I felt so loved when nonna gave me that blanket, and I want you guys to feel that love. It would make me sad to put it in a box on a shelf and never use it, so what good is my wedding dress doing sitting in my closet?

"You don't have to wear it. We can find you another costume, and I can put it…"

"No, I want to!" Emily interrupted, sitting up in the process. "I really, really want to wear it. I just don't want you to be sad."

"Making you happy will never make me sad," Maura said, giving her daughter another tight hug. Guiding Emily back into a standing position, Maura added, "But let's get you dressed because we're already late, and we both know how much mama is going to love being at Claire's house alone."

Emily laughed as she stood up ready for Maura to help her into the dress. The look of pure happiness on Emily's face told Maura that this was the right thing. Her chocolate eyes were sparkling, and she was bouncing slightly on her toes. Emily was old enough to understand the meaning of Maura's gesture but still young enough to feel the innocent, child-like joy that a costume could bring.

Maura slipped the dress over Emily's head. As it settled on the girl's shoulders, Emily's face fell. "It's too big," she said sadly.

Maura laughed. "I know, sweetie, but we're going to fix that," she assured her daughter. "Did you really think something I wore as an adult was going to fit you perfectly right away? You'll probably be taller than me one day, but I still have a few inches on you. Plus, you're still a kid, with a kid's body. Okay, stand right here while I get what I need."

Emily dutifully stayed in the exact spot Maura had left her, but her eyes still followed Maura to the bathroom. Maura returned with her sewing kit. Emily watched silently but curiously as Maura pulled out a few things and set them on the bed. When Maura turned back to Emily with scissors in her hands, Emily's eyes went wide.

"No!" Emily exclaimed. "What're you doing?" She stepped back, tripping on the train and nearly falling over, but Maura caught her in time.

"The dress is way too long," Maura said as though it was obvious. "You'll trip. Like you almost did just now."

"But you can't cut your dress!" Emily reasoned. "I'll just carry it. Like this, see," she insisted as she attempted to gather the dress into her hands.

Maura sat back on her heels, slightly amused. Not only was that a bad plan for any kid, but her notoriously impatient daughter wouldn't last thirty seconds holding up her dress all night. Maura let her struggle to hold it up for a few more moments before stopping her. Maura gently grasped Emily's chin between her thumb and forefinger, guiding Emily to look her in the eye. "Sweetie, that's not going to work. If you want to wear the dress, I have to cut it so that you don't trip."

"But…but it's your wedding dress," Emily said.

Maura sighed. She honestly hadn't expected her daughter to be so afraid of ruining the dress. She had figured Emily would either love or hate the idea and that would be that. "You don't have to wear it, but Em, if you want to wear it…"

"I do!" Emily said quickly.

"Then, we need to get a move on, so we can get to that party."

Emily nodded, but she was still chewing on her bottom lip, giving away her latent anxiety.

Maura kissed her daughter's cheek before making quick work of the skirt. She had honestly expected to feel more…something…as she cut away the bottom of her wedding dress. As soon as she'd offered the dress to Emily, she knew she wouldn't change her mind, but part of her had still wondered if she'd regret it…or be sad. But as Emily's anxiety melted away, and her excitement and happiness returned, all Maura felt was love.

"Okay, I think you're good," Maura said as she pinned the last safety pin in place. "But please ask Mrs. Jones to help you remove the safety pins when you change into your pajamas so that you don't poke yourself."

Emily turned around and threw herself into Maura's arms. "Thank you, mommy," she said thickly.

"You're welcome, baby," Maura replied, returning the hug.

"I'm gonna have the best costume at the party," Emily said, bouncing slightly on her toes and clapping her hands together in front of her.

Maura chuckled. "Would you like just a little bit of makeup for tonight, too?" she offered.

"Really?" Emily said, her excitement growing. Yep, as much as Emily was Jane's mini-me, she was very much Maura's daughter as well.

"Just for tonight," Maura said, leading her daughter into the bathroom.

Putting makeup on her ten-year-old proved to be more difficult than Maura had expected given that Emily couldn't sit still. "We're gonna use mama's makeup," Maura said half to herself and half to Emily.

"Why not yours?" Emily asked.

"Because your skin tone is much closer to mama's. Her make up will work better for you," Maura explained.

They quickly finished getting Emily ready. They were now very late, but Emily was floating on cloud nine, so it was worth it.

"I love you, mommy," Emily said one more time as they approached the stairs.

"I love you, too, sweetie," Maura replied.

Emily and James both disappeared into the throngs of kids currently invading the Jones' house the instant they walked through the door. Maura's eyes scanned the crowd in search of her wife. She had text Jane to let her know that they were running late, but for the sake of time, Maura had just told Jane that she would explain when they got there.

Maura found Jane quickly. They shared a smile across the room. It didn't matter how many years they had been together, there was still something special that happened between them when they first laid eyes on each other after being apart, even if only for a few hours.

Maura weaved her way through the people, trying to make her way to Jane. They shared a quick kiss when Maura finally reached her.

"Everything good?" Jane asked, her eyes instantly searching Maura's face for any signs of distress.

"Yes, sorry we're late," Maura replied. "Emily had a wardrobe malfunction. Her Black Widow costume was too small."

"Oh, I bet she took that well," Jane quipped, knowing their daughter.

Maura laughed. "She took it exactly like you'd expect," Maura returned.

"So, what is she wear…" Jane's question trailed off as Emily came running over to them.

"Mama! Look, I'm a bride!" Emily squealed happily.

Maura watched as shock crossed Jane's face before she quickly recovered enough to give Emily the approval she was seeking.

"And you are a beautiful bride," Jane said, leaning forward to kiss Emily's forehead.

"Am I the most beautiful bride ever?" Emily asked.

"I think you and your mom might be tied for that title," Jane replied. "But you do look good, bug."

"Thanks, mama," Emily replied, her happiness radiating off of her. "Everyone says I have the best costume!"

"I'd have to agree," Jane said. "That is one of my favorite dresses ever, ya know?"

Emily's smile faltered for a moment, surprising both Maura and Jane. "Are you sad that I'm wearing mommy's wedding dress?" she asked.

"No, baby!" Jane assured her. "I love your costume."

Emily's smile returned in full force, and she hugged both of her mothers before returning to her friends.

Jane pulled Maura aside. "Um, so how exactly did you get from Black Widow to her wearing your wedding dress…with the bottom cut off, I might add?" Jane asked in shock.

"Are you mad?" Maura asked, a hint of anxiety in her voice.

"No! Of course not!" Jane said. "Well, unless she pressured you into it. Then…"

"No! It was my idea," Maura said quickly. "She was actually quite nervous about the idea at first," Maura said with a frown. "She was very afraid of ruining it."

"I mean, did you kinda ruin it for her to wear it?" Jane said as quietly as she could so that only Maura would hear the question.

Maura shook her head. "No, it's just like I told Emily, the dress is an object…an object that has been sitting hidden away in a box in our closet. The dress being used to make our daughter happy could never ruin the dress. Yes, I cut off the bottom, and yes, she'd going to get it dirty; she is your kid too after all," Maura teased.

"But Jane, this made her happy, and I don't mean 'getting an extra-large slice of sour cream cake' happy."

"That's pretty happy in Emily's book," Jane quipped.

Maura laughed. "Again, your daughter, too, but what I mean is that this didn't just make her happy for today or this weekend. It made her happy in the 'I'll remember this for a long time' kinda way."

Jane pulled Maura into a hug. "Your amazing, you know that?" Jane said into Maura's hair. "I think she'll remember this for the rest of her life, and she'll only realize what it means more as she gets older."

"She already understands…more than I actually expected her too at this age. I don't need more than that," Maura said. "I just want her to have the memory."

"The kind of memory you always wanted with your mom," Jane said, again as quietly as possible so that only Maura would hear her.

"Yes," Maura admitted. "But I wasn't thinking about that at the time. And you know what? This is so much better. I wouldn't trade the look on her face tonight for anything."

The rest of the party passed in a whirlwind of conversations and food. Maura actually got tired of every other mother telling her 'I never could have done that.' The kids actually decided to change into their pajamas before the parents left, so Maura took the dress home with her. More than anything, she was glad to be able to help Emily clean off the makeup because she hated the idea of Emily's face marinating in the makeup all night (even if Jane assured her that she had slept with makeup on more times than she could count).

"James crashed," Jane said as she entered their bedroom later that evening after having tucked James into his own bed.

"I'm not surprised," Maura replied. "I was actually expecting him to fall asleep in the car. He had way too much sugar tonight. They both did. Actually, all three of you did," Maura added with a knowing but playful glare at Jane.

Jane just laughed. She couldn't argue with that. They went about their evening routines side-by-side mostly in silence because they, too, were tired from the party.

"Can I ask you something?" Jane asked as they crawled into bed.

"Of course," Maura said in confusion. "You can ask me anything. You know that."

Jane rolled her eyes. "I know," she said. "It's just a way to start a conversation."

"Since when do we have trouble starting conversations?" Maura asked.

"Oh my god," Jane said exasperatedly. "I didn't mean anything by it."

Maura laughed. "Right, sorry," she said as she found her way into Jane's arms. "What's your question?"

"Do you regret it at all? Cutting your wedding dress?" Jane asked. "It would be okay if you did. It wouldn't make the gesture any less meaningful."

Maura snuggled against Jane. "I know that, but the truth is I don't," she said honestly. "I think part of me expected to, at least for a moment, but I never did."

"You coulda given her mine, you know?" Jane said quietly.

"I would never do that without asking you," Maura said. "But, I did know, and I told Emily that as well."

Jane kissed the top of Maura's head. "Alright, well, I still think you're the best. Emily and James are very lucky," Jane said. "I was just worried about you because these things mean more to you than they do to me."

"Emily and James are very lucky, but not just because of me," Maura replied. "And while you're right that at one point these kinds of things meant more to me than they usually did for you, my perspective has changed over the years. The memories are so much more important than any object. What joy was the dress bringing to anyone sitting in a box? None. But what joy did it bring to Emily tonight? To me for that matter?"

"Yeah, you're right," Jane said. "As always."

Maura laughed, but sleep was threatening to pull her under. "I love you, Jane. And the kids and I are so lucky to have you."

"Not as lucky as I am," Jane replied. "I love you, too, Maur. More than you know."

A/N: Okay, before any of you jump on me that no one would ever do that, this story is based on a story from my own childhood. When I was around 9 or 10, I didn't have a Halloween costume on Halloween. For the life of me, I can't remember why I didn't have a costume, which is why I went with the costume not fitting storyline for Emily, but I digress. Anyway, my mother (who loves all things fashion and brand names), cut the train off of her wedding dress and I went as a bride for Halloween that year. And guess what, over twenty years later, it still means the world to me.