Chapter 28 The Desolation of Smaug

Dawn broke over the mountains, painting the lake in the golden light of morning. Elwen dressed quickly, not wishing to linger overly long in this place. Not when she could not banish the vision of flames licking the night sky or stop hearing the screams of the frightened, dying people. Perhaps I fell asleep, she tried reasoning with herself. It was possible she'd dozed off without realizing and had a nightmare. It was only natural, considering the danger they were about to walk into. The danger they were putting the people of Lake-town in…

No, she couldn't think about it like that. They would succeed. Elwen and Bilbo would sneak into the throne room, steal the Arkenstone, and summon the army Thorin would need to vanquish the creature. Maybe we'll get really lucky and what we'll find in the mountain is a large, scale covered corpse.

Considering their luck so far, she wasn't counting on it.

Finally she strapped on her weapons and laced her boots. Here goes nothing.

When Elwen emerged into the hallway, she wasn't alone. Kili was struggling to fix the straps of his armor, swearing colorfully in Khuzdul, his face white with pain. Elwen flinched. He looks worse, she thought. That wound, there's something wrong with it. It made the back of her mind itch, but no matter how she clawed or the memory, she came up blank.

Elwen went to his side and tried to tighten the straps from the back. "Here, let me-"

"Don't touch me!"

The words left Kili's back in a growl, echoing off the walls. Elwen was caught so off guard, she let his armor drop to the floor with a loud crash.

"I…Kili, what…"

Elwen stopped short. Kili would not meet her eyes, and the look on his face was filled with more pain than only that leg could cause. No, oh please no…

"You barely ate anything last night," he said, his voice ragged and rough. "I was bringing you food when I ran into Thorin leaving your room."

On one hand, Elwen knew they had done nothing wrong. She was betrothed to Thorin, the promise already made. What went on between them was their business alone. Then why do I feel as though I have betrayed Kili in the worst way?

"I wouldn't have had you find out that way," she said, because she didn't know what else to say.

Kili scoffed. "You're marrying him, Elwen. I'm not a fool." His tone made her bristle.

"You knew this was coming! You can't be angry with me. it isn't fair. I understand how you must feel, but-"

"You know nothing of what I feel!" Kili shouted, his voice rising enough Elwen worried they might soon have an audience. "How could you possibly understand?" he shook his head ruefully. "I knew better than to think nothing would change between us, but of course it has. My mother was right, I am reckless. And I am a fool."

Elwen went very still. "What are you saying?" her voice was a whisper. "Are you…are you saying you don't want to be my friend?"

It sounded so childish, but the thought of losing Kili; it was enough to tear her heart to pieces. Kili was her closest friend, someone she could be absolutely herself around. Being with him was as easy as breathing. Losing him would be like losing an essential part of herself.

Kili's face softened, regret and sadness taking the place of anger. "I don't see how we can be," he said. "You're going to be Queen of Erebor, Elwen. You'll have Thorin, and a kingdom to rebuild. There is no room for me." He turned to go, but not before saying over his shoulder, "Tomorrow, everything will be different."

Kili pushed past her without a backward glance, leaving her alone in the hallway to cry alone. After a moment, she wiped her face and steeled herself. Today was an important day, she needed to focus. She started for the stairs, preparing herself to face the mountain, the dragon, and Thorin.

The company met outside of the inn and fought through the throng of people to the docks. Elwen trailed behind, watching Kili as he struggled not to limp his way through the crowd. The vision of the world burning down no longer plagued her. What she was left with was much worse; the look of utter pain and despair on the face of someone she cared for so dearly, knowing she was the cause.

Kili was right; once they reclaimed the kingdom of Erebor, nothing would be the same between them. It couldn't be. She would be Queen, and that came with responsibilities she wasn't sure she wanted. And it meant there would be a distance between them that there had never needed to be out in the wilds. No more sleeping between the two brothers, cuddling closely for warmth. If everything went according to plan, those days were behind them. And she wasn't ready. She'd meant what she said; she wasn't ready to lose Kili. But she also knew there was likely no choice.

"You do know we're one short," said Bilbo.

Elwen glanced around, doing a quick count.

"Where's Bofur?" Elwen asked.

"If he's not here, we leave him behind," Thorin said, his step not faltering.

"We'll have to," said Balin. "If we're to find the door before nightfall, we can risk no more delays."

That didn't sit well with Elwen, leaving one of their own behind. They had come so far together, how could they not all go the rest of the way? But she also knew there was an urgent need to reach the mountain and be standing at just the right spot when the last light of autumn shines upon the keyhole.

Once the boat was ready to board, Elwen's heart stuttered. Again her uncle's words echoed in her mind. You have no right to enter that mountain. She shook herself. It didn't matter; Thorin was hell-bent on the task, so into the mountain they would go.

Kili stepped forward, ready to board, when Thorin turned and blocked his way with a heavy arm.

"Not you," Thorin said gruffly. "We must travel at speed. You will slow us down."

Kili looked at his uncle, a disbelieving grin on his face. He was hoping Thorin was having a jest, but Elwen knew better. "What are you talking about? I'm coming with you."

"No," Thorin said, continuing to pack last minute provisions. Everyone was listening, watching Thorin intently, especially Fili.

When Kili's face fell, Elwen wanted to reach for him but knew that would not be welcome. It wasn't fair, he was losing so much in the span of one day.

"I'm going to be there when that door is opened. When we first look upon the halls of our fathers, Thorin." His voice was hard, unyielding and angry, but Elwen knew it would do no good.

Thorin put a hand on his nephew's shoulder. "Kili, stay here," he ordered. "Rest. Join us when you're healed."

She knew Thorin was worried about Kili. He could see as well as the rest of them that the wound was far more serious than Kili let on. But she also knew that wasn't the only reason he was leaving his nephew behind. Time was of the essence, and he wouldn't sacrifice their only chance for anyone. Not even those he loved.

Foreboding crept into her gut. He wouldn't, she insisted to herself. He can't. Not after everything we've gone through. Besides, they need me. I doubt any of them have solved the riddle about the door.

"I'll stay with the lad," said Oin. "My duty lies with the wounded."

"Uncle," Fili beseeched, "we grew up on tales of the mountain. Tales you told us. You cannot take that away from him!" Fili looked at her. "Tell him!"

"Thorin, he's right. We started this together; that's how we should finish it."

"Fili, Elwen-"

"I will carry him if I must!" Fili said. He and Elwen stood shoulder to shoulder, a united front. She'd help her adoptive brother carry Kili all the way to Erebor if that's what it took to keep them all together.

"One day you will be king, and you will understand," Thorin said heavily. "I cannot risk the fate of this quest for the sake of one dwarf. Not even my own kin." It hurt him, she knew it did, but that didn't take the sting out of his words.

Fili's eyes were cold fire as they moved from Thorin to his brother and back again. She knew the decision he would make before it was done. He moved to go, but Thorin grabbed his arm.

"Fili, don't be a fool. You belong with the company."

Elwen didn't know who to feel worse for; Kili, who was being left behind, or Fili, who wanted nothing more than to see the halls that filled his childhood stories. Her heart ached for Thorin as well, because she knew what Fili would choose. He wanted his nephews standing beside him when he entered the mountain for the first time in decades. She knew how much Fili's refusal would hurt him.

"I belong with my brother," Fili said, his voice steel. There was no hesitation. Fili would choose Kili over anything, every time.

He jerked his arm from Thorin's grasp and walked away. It was then Thorin turned to her.

"Elwen…" His voice was so soft, she knew no one else would hear. And she knew. She just knew. He reached for her, but she took a step back.

"Don't," she hissed. "Don't you dare."

"Please, try to understand-"

Elwen grabbed his arm and yanked him to the side, away from the rest of the company who were doing their best to pretend not to be listening.

"Do not make this harder for me, Elwen," Thorin said, his voice pleading.

"Hard for you?" she snarled. "You think to leave me behind and you have the nerve-"

Gently, Thorin cupped Elwen's face in his large, rough hands and kissed her. She went stone still. It was quick and chaste, but it shocked her right down to her toenails. He'd never shown her such affection in front of the others. She avoided looking in Kili's direction, sure that he saw. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ori's mouth flop open.

"Elwen, I cannot take you into such danger. You cannot ask it of me. Not now."

It took a moment for her to grasp his meaning, but when she did, white hot rage poured through her veins like a poison. She recoiled.

"I would have never shared your bed if I thought you would deny my rights in this company." Thorin looked like she'd slapped him, but she pressed on. "I've never been a burden to you, Thorin Oakenshield. I have fought by your side as an equal. I've never been a liability in battle! Why should today be any different?"

"Because you are my One!" Thorin didn't bother lowering his voice. "Once I realized…You must see you are too important to risk. I'm sorry, truly I am. I want you to be there with me…but I can't lose you."

"I am no more important than they are!" Elwen shouted, pointing toward the others who were already on the boat.

"Keep us out of it," Dwalin called.

"Elwen, you will be their queen. I think everyone would agree you should stay so we can focus on the task at hand!"

"You keep us out of it too!" shouted Gloin. "She's scarier than you are."

"How is this any different than fighting goblins and orcs and big damn spiders?"

"Because we were not betrothed!" Thorin said.

"That changes nothing."

"It changes everything!"

Elwen took another step away from him. Her breath came in heavy pants and her eyes stung with unshed tears. "If I had known this would happen, I would have made you wait to braid my hair."

As soon as she said it, she knew it wasn't fair. Judging from the gasps of their companions and the look of raw pain that crossed Thorin's face, it was also a cruel thing to say.

"You don't mean that," Thorin replied brokenly.

Later on, Elwen would wish she'd reacted differently. That she'd told him she loved him, and of course she didn't mean it. But she didn't do any of those things, and she did mean it. At that moment, Elwen Greenleaf wished for the braid to be gone. She didn't want to be queen if it meant she would be shoved aside, become someone to be protected instead of doing the protecting. That wasn't in her nature. It was why she'd defied her father and forsaken her own people, wasn't it? To be with the company and fight beside them.

She wanted to go back to before, when she was just Elwen Greenlea. Orphan and member of the company of Thorin Oakenshield. She would never be that person again. So instead of reassuring her betrothed, Elwen looked away.

"I'll stay with Kili and Fili," she said. "Where I'm wanted."

She turned away from Thorin then and without another word, she walked away. She didn't look as he boarded the boat and they set sail. She gave him no parting words of love or wishes for his safety. She would come to regret that, for soon her entire world would begin to burn.

Thorin and the rest of the dwarves weren't gone but a few moments when Bofur came bursting out of the crowd. Elwen shook her head; the idiot shouldn't have overslept. His forlorn face turned into a smile when he spotted Elwen, Fili, Kili, and Oin, and saw he wasn't alone.

"So you missed the boat as well?" Bofur asked.

Elwen rose, fist clenched, hell bent on punching him right below that stupid mustache. That's when she heard Fili's panicked cry behind her.

"Kili? Kili!"

She whirled around in time to see Kili pitch forward. He groaned, and his teeth chattered. Elwen took his face in her hands and winced; he was hot to the touch.

"Come on," she said, helping Fili heave up Kili. "We've got to find him some help."

They went to the place they thought they might find help; the Master's home. The man was an absolute buffoon, but Elwen didn't doubt he had a doctor handy. When they approached, however, the Master and his worm of a lackey were none too happy to see them.

"Please wait! Please," Fili shouted. "We need your help. My brother is sick."

"Sick?! Is it infectious? Get back!" the Master shooed them away with his handkerchief. "Alfrid! Alfrid! Don't let them come any closer!"

If looks could kill, Elwen's and Fili's eyes would have skinned those men alive.

"Infectious? No, you…" Elwen took a deep breath. "He's injured."

"Please," Oin approached them, trumpet placed to his ear. "We need medicine."

"Do I look like an apothecary?" Alfrid said flippantly. "Haven't we given you enough? The Master's a busy man. He hasn't got time to worry about sick dwarves." He looked at them as if they were trash, insects beneath his notice.

"Why you one-eyebrowed little…" Elwen had begun to walk forward, but Bofur held her back.

"You can't help him if they throw you in a cell," he whispered.

"Be gone," Alfird said. "Will you go on? Clear off."

After the guards roughly herded them away and Elwen cursed them soundly, they stood discussing what to do next for a few minutes. Finally Elwen sighed.

"We go to my uncle," she decided. "He's not going to be happy to see us, I suppose."

"What else can we do? He's getting worse," said Fili, worry etched into his face.

Elwen looked at Kili and had to agree; he looked even worse than he had when they'd spoken in the hallway. She wasn't sure if she was imagining it, but his face had taken on an almost gray color, and she could swear flashing in and out of her vision was veins of black beneath his skin.

"Let's go," she said, not wasting another moment.

Bard opened the door almost as soon as Bofur knocked.

"No," he said at once. "I'm done with dwarves. Go away."

Elwen stepped forward and stopped the door before it closed. This made him pause; he clearly hadn't expected to see her. Of course he thought I would go to the mountain. She shoved the sting of that aside; that didn't matter right now.

"Uncle, please," she said quietly. "No one will help us. Kili's sick. He's very sick." She moved aside to show him her friend. "I know you have every reason to turn me away, and if you want, I'll never bother you again if you help him. But please…"

Bard's eyes softened as he looked from his niece to her ill friend. She felt her chest tighten with affection when he sighed and moved aside.

"Get him inside, quickly."

Thorin stood at the front of the boat, watching their destination grow closer and closer as the oars sliced through the calm, freezing water. The majesty of Erebor loomed before them, the snow tipped foothills almost glowing in the golden morning light.

He should be elated, filled with excitement as he prepared to once more walk the halls of his youth. Instead, his thoughts were only of Elwen.

If I had known this would happen, I would have made you wait to braid my hair.

She couldn't have hurt him worse if she tried. She didn't mean it, he tried to reason, but he knew better. If she'd known a courting braid would change things, she'd have made him wait until their task was complete. Maybe he should have waited, and maybe leaving her behind was a mistake. He didn't know anything other than the idea of taking the woman he loved into that mountain where a dragon still lingered…it was unthinkable. Especially after the dream. Thorin couldn't shake the feeling that there was something in the mountain that posed a great threat to Elwen, and he would do everything in his power to snuff out that danger before she stepped foot there.

It wasn't long until the group was across the lake and Thorin took his first steps toward his destiny. Toward home.

"So quiet," Bilbo said, glancing around uneasily. He missed Elwen; she was always good company when he needed a distraction.

"Wasn't always like this," said Balin, gesturing to the silent, rocky landscape. "Once, these slopes were lined with woodlands. The trees were filled with birdsong."

As Balin spoke, the fluttering of wings caught Bilbo's eye as a bird flitted across the sky.

It didn't feel right, the silence of the mountain or the company being divided. They had all come so far together, how could they not go the rest of the way? Kili, he could understand. He was injured and had really looked worse for wear when they'd disembarked. But Elwen? They needed her.

Something felt off. Not like the dark enchantments they ran into in Mirkwood, but a sickness nevertheless.

"Relax, Master Baggins," said Thorin. "We have food, we have tools, and we're making good time."

Using his sword to propel him forward, Thorin jogged to the cliff side. When Bilbo approached, he was struck by what he saw in the valley below. The fog was settled into the cracks and crevices of what must have once been a great and glorious city with the snow-tipped beauty of Erebor at its back. Even in ruins, it cut an impressive figure

"What is this place?" Bilbo asked breathlessly.

"It was once the city of Dale. Now it is a ruin." replied Balin. The others stared out over the ruins, a sadness falling upon their fractured company. "The desolation of Smaug."

"The sun will soon reach midday," Thorin said, urgency in every word. "We must find the hidden door into the mountain before it sets. This way."

Bilbo stayed put. "Wait!" he called. "Is this the overlook? Gandalf said to meet him here. On no account were we to-"

"Do you see him?" Thorin asked, giving Bilbo a stare. "We have no time to wait upon the wizard. We're on our own. Come!"

A voice in the back of Bilbo's mind (that sounded suspiciously like Elwen) told him this was a terrible idea. If Gandalf didn't want them entering the mountain without him, he had his reasons. The hobbit had indeed found his courage somewhere along the journey, but he hadn't lost his marbles.

"I wish Elwen was here," Bilbo said sadly as they once again began their trek. He didn't realize he'd spoken aloud until Thorin softly replied.

"As do I, Master Baggins. As do I."

Author's Note: Well, hello all. I do apologize for how ridiculously long you all have been waiting for this chapter, but here I am! Two years later, but I am here. The last two years of my life have been...well... In some ways, they've been grand! In other ways, not so much. One reason I haven't uploaded is because my laptop died at some point in 2020, and as there was a pandemic afoot, I decided it was best to wait before I dropped a lot of dollars on a new one. 2020 was a really difficult year worldwide, and I desperately hope that all who read this are hale and whole, as are your loved ones. It isn't over yet, but my hope remains that you are all well and safe. Another reason I haven't been posting is because in 2020, I lost my mum. She passed away from cancer, and since then I've understandably not been writing very much. My mum and I were very close, and this left me absolutely gutted and completely lost for a bit. It's coming up on a year, and while I miss her terribly, the bad days are fewer and further between.

I wanted to get back to what truly makes me happy, and that's being creative. I got a new laptop just yesterday and I'm back to working on my original fiction (I finished a novel in early 2020), and working on my fanfiction, of course.

I'm not going to make promises as to how often I'll post, but I can say it will be AT LEAST once a month until this story is complete. I hope to put out more than one a month, but we'll see as I do have other demands upon my time. Closer to the end of this one, I'll let you all know what my next plans are as far as fanfictions go!

Thank you to all who have waited patiently for the next chapter. Please leave a comment and not only tell me what you think of the chapter and where you think things are headed for our company, but please let me know how you are doing. How is your health, your heart, anything and everything. And please know that if you are struggling, you are not alone, and my private messages are always open. Grief is something universally felt, and yet can be very isolating. It doesn't have to be.

Love you all and see you very soon- L