On we go! Thanks so much to you guys who commented on the last chapter. As always, it was much appreciated. Let me know your thoughts on this one.
A few days after the king had announced the fighting competition, balrûn 'uzûgh, there was a considerable change in atmosphere to be noticed in the mountain. The competition would officially begin two weeks from now, but preparations were already being made, tribunes were being built around a great fighting square in a designated hall within Erebor's walls, and many of the king's guards and other dwarves were spending their days training for the big event.
It was a late and rainy afternoon a few days after the announcement, when Dwalin was sitting on a small bench near a fighting square in the training hall, where he usually worked with his guard. The hall was mostly being used for preparations these days, as he had invited any dwarf that intended to participate in the balrûn 'uzûgh to use the facilities and weapons provided. The burly dwarf was currently watching Lothar holding his own against none other than the king himself. During the run up to the competition, Fili occasionally made time to train with the mountainfolk, knowing well enough that his presence among the people was appreciated.
Dwalin was well aware that Fili – unlike Lothar – didn't need the additional training, and he grimaced slightly, when the hilt of Fili's sword connected harshly with Lothar's shoulder and the young dwarf stumbled backwards across the square. Dwalin let out a small sigh. Lothar wasn't much of a match against Fili, something that the young king seemed to know as well, for he had limited himself to one sword only and wasn't using most of his usual techniques.
It wasn't as though Lothar wasn't a good fighter, but compared to Fili he lacked a considerable amount of experience, technique and finesse. At first, Dwalin had even been hesitant to recommend him for the king's guard at all, knowing that in most of Lothar's fights, he came out as the loser, sporting scrapes and black eyes. But the lad had always been so keen to join. He had heart, that much was clear, and no matter how many times he was knocked down, the boy always got back up.
The captain of the guard shortly met Fili's gaze across the square as Lothar got back into position, the blond dwarf raising one eyebrow slightly as he readied himself again. Dwalin merely sighed, already dreading seeing the young dwarf competing in the tournament. He would stand no chance against most of the other participants, but there was no way that anyone could have convinced him not to take part.
Letting his gaze roam across the hall, Dwalin suddenly saw a familiar figure making their way toward him. He smiled and waved the druid over, when she met his gaze. Her arm was out of the sling by now and there had been definite improvement in her movements since the attack. Dwalin could see that she still felt some pain every now and again, when she moved it, but he was glad to see her doing better with each passing day.
"Hello there," she greeted him with a smile as he moved over on the small bench so that she could sit down beside him. He returned her greeting with a small nod of his own.
"It's nice to see you, lass," he answered. "What brings you down here?"
Arinna shrugged slightly, shortly looking over to where Lothar was still trying to hold his own against Fili, who was breaking his defence with a few hard blows of his blade.
"Just curiosity," she replied, her gaze lingering on the blond dwarf's fluid movements for a moment, before she looked away. "Lothar recently told me that he will be competing and invited me to watch him train some time."
"Not sure there's much to see, lass," Dwalin huffed slightly, bringing his gaze back to the fighting square just as Lothar barely managed to dodge one of his king's blows. Arinna followed his gaze, watching in silence for a few moments. Within merely a few seconds, Fili had managed to rid Lothar of his shield, leaving them both with only their swords. Another moment, and Lothar had to dive out of the way as Fili's sword came slashing at him from the side.
Arinna winced as she watched the blond dwarf knock the sword out of Lothar's hand, before the hilt of Fili's blade connected roughly with the young dwarf's chest.
"That had to hurt," the druid groaned emphatically as she watched Lothar stumble backwards, bringing his hand up to press against his chest. Dwalin snorted beside her.
"That's the point," he said gruffly. "It's not a pillow fight."
"Well, perhaps it should be," Arinna muttered in reply, causing the burly dwarf to chuckle beside her.
"The lad would manage to injure himself on the pile of feathers, bless him," Dwalin said, smiling as the druid couldn't help a small laugh beside him. They exchanged a small look, both chuckling heartily, before suddenly a loud smack rang across the square, followed by a groan. Their gazes flew back to the scene before them, eyes widening as they saw that now all of a sudden Fili had sunken to the ground, one hand coming up to wipe a bit of blood from his cheekbone.
Arinna stared in disbelief at first Fili and then Lothar, the young dwarf standing in the middle of the square uncertainly after he had managed to punch the blond king right in the face. His expression showed that he was partly proud, partly scared that knocking down his king might have been a bad move. Fili, shaking his head to get rid of the slight dizziness Lothar's punch had caused him, slowly got back to his feet. He hadn't thought the young guard had it in him to land even one blow, never mind knock him to the ground. It turned out, Lothar had a mean left hook.
"Nicely done, Lothar," he said, reaching out to pat the young dwarf's shoulder once, before he sheathed his sword. Fili could see the unease leave Lothar's eyes at his words, a proud little smile coming to play on his lips as he inclined his head in thanks. The blond king looked at the dwarf before him for a moment, knowing that this small victory wouldn't really help him in the upcoming tournament. Especially seeing as the one blow that Lothar had actually managed to land on him had happened during a moment of distraction, though Fili wouldn't tell him that. Distraction in a fight was always followed by swift punishment, he only had himself to blame.
It had been her laughter. In the midst of the fight, he had suddenly heard the unmistakeable sound of Arinna's beautiful laugh, a sound he had not heard in many years. And it had come so unexpectedly that he had inadvertently glanced over at her, frozen in place for just a moment, long enough for Lothar to seize the opportunity.
Fili shook his head to himself, before he eventually excused himself from the small group and left for a short, scheduled council meeting with Balin, the last one of today. The old dwarf was already sitting at the table when he arrived in the chamber, his bushy eyebrows shooting up in surprise when he looked up at Fili.
"What happened to you, then?" the white-haired dwarf asked, as Fili sat down, a small chuckle ringing in his voice. Fili shot him a short look, feeling that his right eye had by now begun to swell considerably. He hadn't had time to take any care of it, or even clean himself of the blood that had run from the small scrape Lothar's fist had left on his cheekbone.
"It's just a scratch," he answered, picking up a parchment from the spread in front of Balin, while the old dwarf eyed him curiously. Fili cleared his throat slightly as Balin's gaze kept resting on him, prompting him to elaborate. "I was training with Lothar for the balrûn 'uzûgh."
"You are telling me young Lothar managed to do that to you? The lad must finally be making progress, then."
Fili's eyebrow rose in slight annoyance at the obvious amusement in Balin's voice. The old dwarf merely smiled at him. "Aye, he is."
Balin chuckled quietly again, before he inclined his head. "Looks painful. You should get that looked at," he offered, before he swiftly changed the topic and began to inform Fili of the latest developments in the mountain, Dale and the other nearby kingdoms that surrounded them. In the end, their council took more time than Fili had expected and it was already late in the evening, when he finally left, his head now throbbing with a headache while his eye felt sore and painful.
He was on his way up to his chambers when he decided to take Balin's advice, after all. The healing chambers were only a short detour and he'd rather get something for the pain, so that he could at least sleep more easily. It didn't take him long to reach his destination and he knocked on the door of the healing chambers shortly, before he entered.
"Oin?" he called quietly into the empty room, expecting to find the old healer there. He usually worked late on most evenings, but tonight there was no answer. Sighing, Fili made his way further into the room, walking up to the shelves where all the medicine was stored. His eyes roamed over the many vials and potions, thinking that perhaps he could just help himself if Oin had already retired for the evening. The only problem was that he had no idea what he was looking for.
It was then that he heard a door opening somewhere behind him and he turned around just in time to see Arinna make her way out of the back room, a small pile of fresh cloths in her hand. She halted in her tracks when she saw him, surprise written across her face as the door fell shut behind her with a dull thud.
"Fili," she uttered, watching as he still stood in front of the medicine shelves. Her gaze settled on the side of his face, no doubt taking in the state of his eye. "What are you doing here?"
The blond dwarf cleared his throat slightly as he pointed to his black eye. "I'm afraid Lothar got me worse than I first thought," he answered. "I was hoping Oin had something for the pain, or the swelling. I didn't mean to disturb you, he's usually still around at this hour."
"He's gone for dinner at Gloin's," the druid explained, her soft voice carrying over to him as she made a few steps toward him. She smiled slightly at him. "Sit. I'll see to it."
Hesitating slightly as she motioned toward a nearby bench, he shot her a last look to make sure that she was serious and he wasn't imposing on her, before he slowly made his way over to it. He let himself slump down on it with a tired sigh, one leg on each side, while he watched her roam across the room, collecting a few things.
"I see you no longer need a sling for your arm," he uttered, looking up at her as she slowly made her way to the bench, holding a small bowl of water in one hand and a few clean cloths, as well as a small vial in the other.
The druid gave a small shrug as she sat down mirroring his position, one leg on either side of the bench. "It is healing rather well, all things considered," she answered, while putting down the few objects in the space between them.
"I am glad you are feeling better," he said quietly, which the druid acknowledged with a small smile. Fili inclined his head in turn. "I was meaning to talk to you about it. About the attack. I had a small troop of guards ride out the day after we brought you back, and they did not find any signs that you were followed past the river. The old druid village lies outside of our borders, but I sent word to Bard and he sent his own people to the site, but by then the camp was deserted. I suppose they must have moved on after you discovered them."
Arinna remained quiet for a few moments, taking in his words as Fili ended his explanation. Then she gave a slow nod, a small line creasing the space between her eyebrows.
"You didn't need to go to all that trouble," she uttered softly, holding Fili's gaze. "Thank you, Fili."
"I did need to. I just wish I could have done more. These men deserved to be punished for their deeds," the dwarf answered with a slight edge to his voice, feeling anger rise within him at his inability to resolve the situation to any sort of satisfaction. He wanted these bandits to be punished, knowing that Arinna could very well have died from her injury, if they had not found her in time, if she had not gotten away. He'd have liked to strangle each and every one of them with his bare hands, given the chance.
Distracted by his thoughts, he hadn't noticed the druid dunking the cloth in the bowl and jumped slightly when it suddenly connected with his face. His eyes shot toward Arinna again as she lightly dabbed the wet cloth against his cheek, the white fabric turning red as she wiped away the dried blood from the scrape on his cheekbone.
She said nothing more on the subject and merely worked in silence; her eyes focused on his small wound, while he in turn studied her face. She had barely changed in the years he hadn't seen her, her features edged into his memory almost exactly as she was now. Only a few more tiny lines around her eyes gave away the time that had passed. So much time he'd lost, he thought bitterly to himself.
"He really got you," he heard her mutter, drawing him from his thoughts once more. He hummed quietly, causing her to look him in the eyes for a moment.
"Aye," he rumbled, staring into her familiar emerald eyes as he spoke. He offered up a half-smile. "Perhaps we'll make a fighter of him yet."
She smiled slightly at his words, putting down the now dirty cloth and picking up the vial instead.
"I assume he was not elected for your guard for his combat skills," Arinna uttered, causing a small chuckle to fall from his lips as he shook his head. He let out a sigh then, his expression growing more serious.
"Indeed not," he admitted, watching as she tipped the vial over and let a few droplets fall onto the tip of a clean piece of cloth. "Choosing the guard, I try to go by the things that Thorin valued most in his companions."
"Loyalty, honour, and a willing heart," Arinna murmured softly, causing Fili to look back up at her in slight surprise. He gave a small nod, and she gave him a gentle, melancholic smile in return. "I remember."
He held her gaze for a moment, not sure what to say, before she inclined hers and brought her attention back to the small cut on his cheek. She lifted up her hand and brushed a few stray strands of hair behind his ear to get better access to apply the tincture.
Fili's breath caught in his throat as her fingers connected with his hair, and his eyes shot up to hers to find them widening in shock the very same moment. She hesitated for a second, her gaze trained on her own hand that was still behind his ear, while her other hovered in the space between them, still holding onto the cloth. It took her another second, before she abruptly pulled back her hand, inwardly cursing herself.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she stammered quickly, her voice slightly breathless, when suddenly, Fili's large hand closed around her wrist. Her breath caught again at the feeling of his touch, and her eyes flew from his hand to his eyes, seeing him staring at her intently.
Fili had visibly tensed up, his whole body seemingly on edge, but his eyes were gentle and suddenly carried such a deep sorrow that Arinna was taken aback. The druid released a shuddering breath, when his grip tightened ever so slightly around her wrist and he opened his mouth to speak, though the words caught in his throat. There was so much he wanted to say to her, but he didn't even know where to start. Her wrist felt small and fragile in his grasp, as he struggled against the lump that had built in his throat.
"Please, don't… You have nothing to apologise for," he finally said, trying to put his whirling thoughts into order, as he spoke. Fili swallowed tightly, his eyes stinging as tears suddenly built behind them. "I am the one… I'm so sorry, Arinna. I – I cannot find words for how sorry I am. I'm sorry for what I said to you all those years ago. For driving you away. I realise I left you no choice, you were never to blame. Not for leaving, not for what happened, for Kili's death – nothing."
Arinna could only stare at him in shock, as he released a shaking breath, his eyes now veiled with unshed tears. The druid felt her heart beat wildly, her thoughts whirling in her head, as he spoke up once more.
"I have been so cruel to you," he muttered, his voice heavy with guilt. He let his thumb stroke over the skin of her wrist for a fleeting moment, before he finally released her from his grasp. Her hand fell limply into her lap. He sought her gaze, his pale blue eyes piercing hers. "So cruel… Eight years ago, and even now, when you came back to the mountain, I behaved horribly. I can never ask for your forgiveness, Arinna. I do not deserve it. But I want you to know how deeply sorry I am for everything that happened, for all the pain I caused you. I should have told you years ago. I should never have let you go like that."
He blinked slightly, as a few tears finally rolled down his cheeks, his breathing heavy as Arinna sat opposite him in silence, not knowing what to do, her own emerald eyes covered with a veil of unshed tears. The druid took a shuddering breath, not knowing what to say or how to react. She hadn't expected him to say any of this. In fact, she was so overwhelmed by it that all she could think was one thing.
"Why did you?"
Her words hung heavily between them, when she finally regained her voice, and Fili inclined his head in shame, pressing his eyes shut for a moment as he shook his head. "How could I have asked you to stay after the despicable things I did? How could I have asked for your forgiveness after what I said to you? How could I face you?"
Arinna let out a shaky breath as he trailed off, before she spoke up quietly. "I believed you," she said simply, causing Fili to shake his head sadly. The druid took a deep breath, as she continued. "It was easy to believe you, because I already thought all those things myself. I thought that if I had been faster, better somehow, that Kili would not have needed to save me. That he might have lived. Punishing myself was easier believing that you thought so, too."
Fili held her gaze, his expression stricken with sorrow. Her words lingered heavily between them, as she returned his gaze out of tired eyes.
"It was not your fault," Fili said.
"I know," Arinna replied softly.
He let out a long breath at her gentle words and the honest look she gave him. The dwarf suddenly felt exhausted, yet lighter somehow, as though a heavy weight had been lifted off him.
"Perhaps…," he murmured, his voice raspy with emotion as he looked at her. He took a shaky breath. "Perhaps we could try and be friends once more."
"Yes," she answered quietly. "I would like that."
Fili merely inclined his head and they sat in silence for a long while, neither of them truly knowing what to do, until eventually, Arinna let out a tired sigh, before she let a few more droplets of the forgotten tincture fall onto the cloth still held in her hand. Fili watched as she raised her hand again, waiting until he brushed his own hair back behind his ear this time, before she gently applied the tincture to his small wound. It stung slightly, though Fili didn't mind. He let his gaze roam across her features once more, feeling his heart pound heavily in his chest. She glanced over at him from time to time, mustering up a faint smile, as she finished her work in silence.