…
It was Sirius's fault really, that the whole thing even happened.
It was Sirius who, when he returned home from Hogwarts in his first year, would not stop incessantly talking about James Potter. Regulus listened avidly to his tales of his exploits and adventures with James Potter until he was scathingly jealous.
Sirius spoke of James as though he was a brother, and that made Regulus envious. He didn't have much to be happy about as a member of the most noble and stuffy House of Black, but being Sirius's brother was what made him the happiest. Before Sirius went to Hogwarts, the two of them looked out for each other, they only had each other. They needed to protect each other when they had parents like Walburga and Orion.
(Though, Sirius didn't really need protection from anyone, Regulus was sure.)
…
It was definitely Sirius's fault, James would later attest to his best friend.
When they met at Hogwarts, all Sirius talked about was Regulus. James didn't mind—it was interesting. He was an only child and had no siblings, so to hear about how Sirius had a shadow who absolutely idolized his big brother was new to James. Sirius hadn't had any friends before he came to Hogwarts, so all his stories were of him and his brother.
But hearing so much about Regulus certainly planted a seed of interest in James, even from being so young.
(It absolutely was Sirius's fault.)
…
Regulus hadn't expected to like James when he first met him.
Sirius had practically dragged Regulus into the train carriage to meet his friends, on the very first time he rode the Hogwarts Express. Regulus wasn't as extroverted as Sirius, so it made him somewhat uncomfortable to be thrust into a tiny room with three other bewildered faces blinking at him.
"My brother," Sirius had exclaimed proudly, as though displaying a prized trophy.
It had been James who spoke first. Regulus knew instantly that he was James Potter; he recognised the features Sirius had often commented on—the unruly black hair and spectacles. James had eagerly made to sit next to Regulus in the carriage, seeming to notice his discomfort at being made the centre of attention, and shook his hand. "Hi, nice to meet you," he said excitedly, his eyes sparkling. "I'm James. I've heard almost everything about you."
(Later, when Regulus was sorted and Sirius's face fell, James would offer Regulus an apologetic smile as he walked glumly to the Slytherin table.)
…
Regulus was a friend before he was anything else to James.
While James, Sirius, Peter and Remus were in their second year, Sirius refused to speak to Regulus. It was as though he took personal offence to Regulus being sorted into Slytherin ("We've always stuck together! I can't believe he's letting this happen!"). He acted as though Regulus had made it a personal choice to be sorted away from him, and punished Regulus for it.
James could see how much it hurt Regulus to be ignored by Sirius. Regulus would try to catch him in corridors, the library, the Great Hall—anywhere he could accidentally bump into Sirius and try to start a conversation, but Sirius would always jostle past him, his head in the air. Usually, Regulus would slink off like a hurt animal.
But not every time. One time, Sirius knocked Regulus out of the way extra hard, sending Regulus falling to the floor, his leather satchel splitting and books and parchment flying everywhere.
Sirius was already halfway down the corridor, with Peter scurrying after him. Remus, while throwing an apologetic look back at Regulus, was also hot on Sirius's tails. James hung back, picking up the contents of Regulus's bag and helping him to his feet.
Regulus's face was crimson with embarrassment, and he tried to glare at the other students who were loitering in the corridor, whispering between themselves and giggling at Regulus's expense.
"What are you all staring at?" James shouted. "Haven't you got places to be?"
The crowd dispersed, leaving James and Regulus alone. James pointed his wand at Regulus's ripped satchel, muttered a quick 'reparo!' and the bag repaired itself instantly.
"I need to learn that one," Regulus said gratefully, taking his things from James and putting them back in his bag.
"It's the first spell I learned," James replied proudly. "Probably the one I use the most, too. I'm always breaking my glasses." He pushed his spectacles up his nose as he spoke, grinning. "Are you going to be okay?"
Regulus's face drooped and he looked at the ground. "I'm fine," he said under his breath. "I just wish he'd talk to me." Regulus's voice had gone thick, and he hid behind his long fringe and rubbed his eyes with the back of his sleeve. He was crying.
"Hey." James took Regulus's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'm sorry he's being such a prat. I can try and talk to him if you want?"
Regulus shook his head furiously. "I'm sorry for crying. I shouldn't cry in front of people. Please don't tell Sirius, he'll make dreadful fun of me…"
James raised an eyebrow. "It's not embarrassing to cry."
Regulus sniffled in response, and looked up at James with red-rimmed eyes. "I still don't want him to know. We're not...we're not supposed to show weakness, not in my family."
"It's definitely not weak to cry," James said. "My mum always said having a good cry can make you feel better, even more so if you have someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on." He paused. "So, if you ever want a shoulder to cry on, you can come and find me. We don't have to tell Sirius, if you don't want to." James smiled.
Regulus offered James a small smile in response.
James expected Regulus to be too proud to take him up on his offer. However, a few weeks passed and James was sitting in the library, cramming for a last minute test, when Regulus came around the corner, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. They stared at each other for a few moments across the table, then James shuffled back, making room for Regulus to come and sit by him.
For several hours, James listened intently as Regulus sobbed and sobbed, whispering about how much he loved and hated his brother, how much he longed to talk to him, how much he had to say. James let him cry, awkwardly patting Regulus on the back as he did so.
(When the summer holidays came around and Regulus and Sirius went back home, it only took a few months before the brothers were back to being friends again.
But it didn't mean that Regulus had to stop visiting James when he needed a shoulder to cry on.)
…
Second year brought with it a whole new wave of feelings when Regulus saw James again.
Over the summer, the thirteen-year old looked different—he'd spent time in the sun and his skin had bronzed, his hazel eyes glittered, and he'd shot up a few inches. Regulus wasn't invited to share his brother's carriage this time, as he had his own friends to sit with, but he still waved politely at Sirius's friends when he passed. When he noticed James lounging against the window, looking effortlessly cool, Regulus felt himself blush automatically.
As he followed his best friend, Barty, up the length of the train, he felt something in his stomach fluttering. What was this that he was feeling? He'd known James for a whole year before now, but this was the first time he'd wanted to hide his face at the sight of him.
(It would take a few years for Regulus to admit that he had a crush on his brother's best friend.)
…
"So, you're friends with your brother again?" James asked Sirius casually over lunch. "I noticed you haven't been as horrible to him as you were last year."
Sirius glared at his best friend. "I wasn't horrible to him!"
"You were a bit, mate."
Sirius scoffed. "We made up, okay? It was kind of hard to spend six weeks at home with no one to talk to."
"So, you accepted that Regulus didn't go into Slytherin just to spite you?" James pressed, grinning.
"I suppose so," Sirius grumbled, rolling his eyes. "Why do you care so much, anyway?"
James shrugged. "I was just interested."
(When James was next offering a listening ear to Regulus, Regulus would thank him quietly.
It took a long time for James to realise what he was thanking him for.)
…
Regulus was awed by Quidditch, from being in the first year. He never missed a match, and he was giddy with excitement when he went to watch the first game of his second year; Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw.
He squinted at the players as they soared onto the pitch, recognising one of the
Chasers, a third-year boy with scruffy black hair and goggles over his spectacles. James Potter. Regulus had no idea that he had even tried out for the team, but then again the separate houses tended to keep their new players a secret right up until their first match.
He didn't tear his eyes away from James Potter for the entire match, watching as he swooped this way and that, deftly snatching the Quaffle from the opposing Chaser and aiming it at the hoops. He was probably one of the youngest players on the pitch, but that didn't stop him from scoring five goals for Gryffindor.
In the end, Gryffindor won the match, even though their Seeker didn't manage to catch the Snitch. The Ravenclaw Seeker managed to swat the Snitch out of the sky right as James scored their last goal, and even with Ravenclaw getting a hundred and fifty points and ending the game, James had earned Gryffindor an extra ten points for his score, putting them at a hundred and sixty points, as Ravenclaw hadn't managed to score a single goal.
The team went wild when the Quidditch Commentator announced that Gryffindor had won the first match of the year. Regulus tried to prevent himself from bouncing on his seat with excitement—Gryffindor was the sworn Quidditch enemy of Slytherin, and the rest of his house were groaning and sulking at Ravenclaw's loss—but he couldn't help it. James was fantastic, James was amazing, he was the best Quidditch player Regulus had ever seen!
(He wanted to be part of that too.)
…
James was quite surprised when Regulus joined him on the training grounds during the early evening one night, clutching his Comet broomstick and looking at James eagerly.
"What's up, Reg?" James asked. He'd just come down from the sky, and he was still straddling his broom. "I don't normally have company while I'm training."
"I know," Regulus said. "I've seen you a few times from the Astronomy Tower. I go up there sometimes for some peace and quiet." He paused. "I saw your game the other week. You were brilliant!"
"Heh, thanks." James felt his face reddening. He wasn't normally embarrassed about anything, but for some reason, Regulus praising his Quidditch performance made him feel quite shy.
"I wanted to ask…" Regulus started. "Could you teach me how to play? I mean, I know how to play, but Sirius was never that bothered about Quidditch when we were younger, and none of my cousins ever wanted to play with me…" he took a breath. "I really want to be on the Slytherin team. I want to be as good as you!" Regulus blushed deeply and looked away. "But it's okay if not, or if you don't have time…"
There was a long pause, and eventually James grinned and nodded. "Sure. But Regulus?"
"Yeah?"
"We absolutely have to keep this a secret," James continued. "Because if my team finds out I'm training up a Slytherin player, they'll probably boot me from the team," he paused. "And I can't see the Slytherin team being too happy about you being trained by a Gryffindor player, either."
"Of course," Regulus agreed. "I won't tell anyone."
"I know you won't," James replied. "But it does mean I need to show you something, so we can get to the grounds on a night without anyone finding out."
(Regulus was the fourth person he'd shown his invisibility cloak to, after Sirius, Remus and Peter, but he would end up using the cloak with Regulus more than any of his best friends.
And eventually, it wasn't always for sneaking off to Quidditch practice.)
…
In Regulus's third year, he was told by the Slytherin Quidditch captain that he had made the team as Seeker. He was thrilled.
He didn't expect to suit a Seeker. After a year of practicing under the cover of night with James, he had learned more about being a Chaser or a Keeper, due to that area of Quidditch being his speciality. Regulus was quite short and stockily built, so James had encouraged him to try out as a Keeper or even a Beater, but Regulus was a bit nervous about deliberately whacking Bludgers at other players.
But when he flew without James for the first time, and tried out some other aspects of the game, he realised he had an excellent eye for the Snitch; he was quick on his broom and able to weave in and out of the other players and not be distracted by whatever else was going on in the game. He caught the Snitch within the first ten minutes of his tryout, and the captain insisted that he take the position of Seeker.
James was desperate to know how Regulus had done, but Regulus had been sworn to secrecy. He might have lapsed and ended up spilling, but Regulus realised how much he enjoyed James's desperate attempts to find out.
(Later in the year, when Regulus played his first game against Hufflepuff, James was his biggest and loudest supporter, much to the surprise of everyone else in the stands—especially Sirius.)
…
James was in fifth year and Regulus was in his fourth, when their dynamics changed suddenly and drastically.
It was the Easter holidays, and Sirius and Regulus had returned home to Grimmauld Place as was the norm. At the last minute, Sirius randomly asked James if he wanted to spend the holidays at Grimmauld Place, and so James came back with them too.
Sirius's parents were visiting some estranged family in the south of France, and had left Sirius and Regulus with the House Elf. The first thing Sirius did was order Kreacher not to breathe a word of their guest to Mr and Mrs Black, and Kreacher nodded solemnly.
"He's a bit of a dick," Sirius told James after Kreacher shuffled back to hide in a cupboard in the kitchen. "He'll be cursing you to death because your family are…" Sirius curled his lips and put on a stupid voice, reminiscent of Kreacher's. "Filthy blood traitors."
James cracked up, but he didn't miss the way Regulus rolled his eyes before he sloped off into the depths of the house, leaving James and Sirius alone. "So, do you want the grand tour?" Sirius asked. "It's grim and I hate it here, but it'll be a laugh while Mum and Dad aren't here."
"Sure," James replied with a grin. He had never been to Sirius and Regulus's house before, even though Sirius had frequented the Potter residence on several occasions. He let Sirius lead him around the house, showing him every room that was unlocked (he tried for at least ten minutes to prise open Walburga and Orion's bedroom door), and finally showing James his own room. His linens and walls were the blood red of Gryffindor, and his walls were pasted with pictures of motorcycles and scantily clad men and women.
"Regulus's room is across the hall," Sirius said. "You can sleep in here on the camp-bed, or you can have one of the guest rooms, but they're all the way on the other wing, so it's up to you."
"The other wing," chuckled James. "Of course, your highness."
Sirius shoved him. "Shut up, smart-arse."
"I'll sleep on the camp-bed," James announced. "Your house is a bit dismal, and I don't fancy sleeping all the way in the other wing where that House Elf can sneak up on me."
They were all tired after travelling back to Grimmauld Place, so after eating the mediocre meal that Kreacher whipped up, they were all ready to go to bed. James settled on the camp-bed, but he couldn't get comfortable at all. He'd heard Sirius snore a thousand times in the Gryffindor dormitory, but for some reason he seemed even noisier and more unbearable while he was struggling to sleep on the springy camp-bed.
Eventually, James struggled out of the bed and dragged his blanket out of Sirius's room, prepared to search for a sofa or one of the guest rooms or something.
Grimmauld Place was huge and labyrinthe, with long straight corridors that branched off to other long straight corridors and doors that went seemingly nowhere. There were minimal windows, and the few that were lining the walls were covered with heavy black curtains or wispy drapes. The peeling walls were littered with portraits of snooty Blacks, all eyeing him dangerously as he wandered aimlessly through the house.
He went past a room with green wallpaper covered with faces and branches, and drew to a halt when he saw that a figure was on the windowsill, his legs dangling out of the open window. "Regulus?"
Regulus's head swivelled around, and James saw that he had a thin white stick dangling out of his mouth. He grabbed the cigarette between his fingers quickly and shuffled around to face James, remaining seated on the windowsill. "What are you doing up?" he asked.
James realised in that moment how different Regulus was from the Regulus he'd met all those years ago on the Hogwarts Express. He'd been round-faced and bright eyed, pale with nerves but giddy with excitement. His robes had been slightly too long for him and he clung to Sirius's shadow, at least up until he'd been sorted into Slytherin and Sirius had ignored him for the better part of a year. He would cry earnestly to James in the library or the alcoves in the corridors, spilling his woes and problems about Sirius and his family. Even Regulus just the previous year, who soared around the training grounds in the night, howling with laughter and blushing at James's praise, seemed alien to him now. He'd always seemed so small.
But the Regulus that sat in front of him was completely different. He was wearing pyjama pants but no shirt, and James could see how playing Quidditch had defined his torso and biceps somewhat. Regulus seemed to notice James looking, and his face tinged pink and he folded his arms over his chest, bringing the cigarette to his lips again.
"Where did you learn about something like that?" James asked, ignoring Regulus's question.
"Barty," Regulus answered honestly.
Of course, James thought. He didn't know much about Barty Crouch, other than him being Regulus's close friend, but he did know that Barty was a bad influence. He was tall and lithe with sharp features and a nasty temper, and James had heard all about the kind of fights he'd got into with the other Slytherins. He played dirty, and he certainly wasn't the kind of person that James liked Regulus hanging around with.
He stilled his thoughts quickly, trying to remind himself that he didn't get to have a say in who Regulus hung around with. Who did he think he was?
"It's bad for you," James chastised, chasing his thoughts away. "I know people who smoke those things. It makes them cough."
Regulus shrugged. "Loads of things are bad for you." He inhaled again, staring at James as he did so. "I thought you'd want to try."
James was silent for a moment, then he moved closer to Regulus, holding out his hand. "Okay then."
Regulus handed James the cigarette and watched as he inhaled deeply on the cigarette. James did his best to hold the smoke in his throat, determined not to cough and embarrass himself in front of Regulus. He blew it back out in a long, shuddering breath. "Yeah, I don't think it's for me," he handed the cigarette back to Regulus. Regulus stubbed it out on the windowsill then threw it out of the window. "Why are you out of bed, anyway?"
Regulus shrugged. "I couldn't sleep. When I come home I usually come in here to see if Mother has blasted anyone else off the tapestry." He nodded to the walls, and James followed his gaze, realising that the faces on the walls were also the faces of Black family members, like the portraits in the halls. The pictures were labelled with their names, birth and death dates, some with vines extending to other pictures to represent marriage, some leading downwards to represent children. There were several black, burnt out marks on the wall too.
But James didn't ask. He'd heard enough about the Blacks from Sirius, and he could see that just thinking about them was painting hurt on Regulus's face. To James's surprise, Regulus shook away the expression on his face and offered James a small, slightly sad smile.
"We've changed, haven't we?"
"What do you mean?" asked James.
"I've just noticed how different you look. Do I look different to you?" Regulus spoke softly. "Am I still the pathetic little kid that used to find you to cry?"
"You were never pathetic, Reg," James replied. He sat on the windowsill beside Regulus.
"I had the biggest crush on you in second year," Regulus admitted, looking away. "And third year," he added, then glanced back at James. "Maybe even still."
James looked bewildered. "Me? Why?"
Regulus flushed all the way to his ears. "Don't ask stupid questions. I don't know why."
A long silence followed, and James stared awkwardly at Regulus, while he stared back. The trees outside bristled in the breeze, and James listened to leaves rustling. There was no other sound in the house, except maybe the frantic beat of James's heart. He shuffled closer to Regulus, feeling that one of them needed to make a move before either of them died of embarrassment. Regulus didn't move away, just watched James's face nervously.
James moved his face towards Regulus, slowly enough to give Regulus to back off, but he didn't. Carefully, as though afraid Regulus might break if he did it too hard, James pressed his lips to Regulus's, as gently as he dared.
Regulus kissed back suddenly, which shocked James, and he gasped, letting Regulus slide his tongue into his mouth. Who has Regulus been kissing? James thought, jealously. How did he get so good at this? James kissed him eagerly, trying to get some kind of dominance over the kiss, determined not to seem so inexperienced. Regulus's hands slid around James's neck, into his hair, and James wrapped his arms around Regulus's bare torso, relishing in the goosebumps that blossomed on Regulus's skin.
They pulled apart for breath, both of them glowing crimson, their lips swollen. James adjusted his skewiff glasses and jumped away from the windowsill, staring down at Regulus, who was running his fingers through his dark hair, looking at his feet.
(Shit, Sirius is going to kill me.)
…
Every time Regulus and James met when they were back at school, Regulus could tell that James was fighting an inner battle. He looked over his shoulder constantly, like he expected Sirius to sneak up on them, and most of the time he looked as though he'd rather scarper like a fleeing cat.
But he was too drawn to Regulus, and Regulus knew it. It excited Regulus to be so wanted, so needed. They found each other everywhere; in empty classrooms, behind tapestries, in hallway alcoves, the Quidditch changing rooms. If they ever ended up alone in a quiet space, it was inevitable.
Greenhouse Three hadn't been one of their pre-agreed locations to meet, but it happened. Regulus had sneaked up to the greenhouses one evening, hoping to get a fresh Valerian Root for his Potions homework, and James was in detention, idly sweeping up dirt and fallen leaves with no wand.
They blinked at each other when Regulus entered the greenhouse.
"Are you following me?" James asked with a grin. His voice was cheeky as always, but Regulus didn't miss the glance he shot through the window.
"Relax," Regulus replied. "I just came for an ingredient."
"Oh yeah?" James was already propping the sweeping brush up against the glass wall and advancing on Regulus.
Regulus smirked. "Honestly. I don't live every moment of my life waiting for the next opportunity to make out with you, you know." He leaned up against a row of planters, and James put his hands on the pots behind Regulus, trapping him.
"You're a dreadful liar," he stated. "You do this every time."
"Do what?" Regulus quirked an eyebrow.
"Try to play hard to get, and pretend that you're not really interested. Like you don't crave it as much as I do. You like the chase." James leaned close, so his mouth was only a few inches away from Regulus's. "Well, I'm getting wise to your game." He pulled back suddenly, leaving Regulus almost snapping at the air in his desire to kiss James. "If you're only here for your ingredients, I won't interrupt. Feel free to get them, and I'll return to my riveting detention." James stepped away to give Regulus space, grinning wickedly.
Regulus took a moment to compose himself, and shook his hair out of his eyes, sniggering. So you want to play my game, he thought to himself. Unfortunately for James, Regulus was becoming quick to master the game, and he knew he would win.
He sidled past James, heading for the Valerian plant and picking up a pair of garden scissors. He carefully snipped the root he needed, ignoring the urge to turn back and glance at James. He could feel the older boy's eyes burning into his back, waiting for his next move. Regulus hummed as he wrapped his root in a little bit of parchment he'd brought along, and slipped it into his pocket.
"Well, goodnight," he said sweetly to James, and slid past him, heading for the greenhouse door.
The next few seconds felt like an eternity. Regulus grinned as he turned his back to James again, knowing what would come next. James couldn't resist. He could never resist.
Just as Regulus reached the door, James grabbed him by the arm and yanked him back, pulling Regulus into his chest. "You win," he growled, his voice low and guttural. He pushed Regulus back against the planters roughly, ignoring the pots that fell and smashed on the floor, spraying dirt everywhere. He grabbed Regulus by the waist and kissed him greedily, and Regulus wound his arms around James's neck and kissed him back.
Regulus really did live for these moments. As soon as he and James separated some time later, their bodies sparking with desperation and need, Regulus was already thinking of the next time he could be alone with James.
(He made Regulus feel alive.)
…
In the summer before Regulus's fifth year and James's sixth, James had Sirius at the Potter house for about three weeks. Sirius would quite happily have spent his entire summer there, but James longed to see Regulus. While at Hogwarts, they didn't go more than a few days before they would meet secretly.
James had thought long and hard about how to suggest Regulus come spend time with his family too, but he gave up on it. Sirius would be suspicious as to why James wanted his kid brother around, and he wasn't sure Regulus would want to be holed up with Sirius for that long, either.
Just as James was about to give up and let Sirius just stay with him for the whole summer and deal with the fact that he wouldn't see Regulus until they returned to Hogwarts, a miracle arrived in the form of a letter from Walburga Black.
Sirius moaned and groaned as he read the letter, before scrunching it into a ball and launching it at the wall of James's bedroom. "I have to go back home," he grumbled. "Mother and Father have planned a spontaneous holiday, and they are insisting I go back home to stay with my brother. He's old enough to stay by himself. They have never been that bothered about leaving me home alone." He folded his arms. "This will be Mum, I'm sure of it. Father couldn't give two hoots so long as the House Elf is there."
James tried to resist jumping out of the bed in jubilation. "It doesn't matter," he said. "I'll just come back to Grimmauld Place with you and we'll travel back to school from there."
Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Why would you want to come to my miserable home? Wasn't that one time enough? I'm sure you said it was dismal."
"It was," James admitted. "Seriously dismal. But it'll be more fun than staying here by myself for the rest of the holidays."
And so, James and Sirius packed up their things and travelled to Grimmauld Place. Sirius seemed a bit more cheerful about going home once he knew that James was going with him, and James felt slightly guilty that he wasn't truly going to Grimmauld Place for Sirius.
Regulus's face was a picture of shock when he opened the door to James and Sirius. Sirius barged past his brother, dragging his trunk along and dumping it in the hallway. James grinned apologetically as he followed suit. "What are you doing here?" Regulus demanded to know, turning to face his brother.
"Mum says I have to come and babysit you," Sirius said. "I know you're getting a terrible handful since you hit puberty, so I brought James for back up." He laughed as Regulus aimed a punch at his shoulder, dodging it expertly and dashing into the kitchen. A yell followed, and Sirius returned into the hallway a moment later, dragging a snarling, straw-haired person out by the shirt. "Who is this and what is he doing in our house?" He pushed the boy towards Regulus, waiting for an explanation.
"Barty," James said suddenly, recognising the tall, skinny boy. He was rubbing the back of his neck and glaring at Sirius.
"Crouch?" Sirius finished, narrowing his eyes at Barty. "Barty Crouch? I didn't recognise you out of your school robes." He paused and turned back to his brother. "Does Mum know you've got a friend home for the holidays? You know how much she hates house guests."
Barty said nothing.
"When you've finished," snapped Regulus. "I invited Barty over when Mother and Father left yesterday. I…" he looked at Barty, who was looking back at Regulus with wide, worried eyes. "I wanted some company," he finished.
Sirius shrugged, clearly already bored of the conversation, and moved down the hallway. "Come on, James. We'll put our stuff upstairs."
James looked back at Regulus as he followed Sirius up the stairs, and he was looking back up at James apologetically.
James had to wait hours before he could properly see Regulus. He spent the rest of the evening lounging around with Sirius, wondering what Regulus and Barty were doing up in Regulus's bedroom. He tried to bring it up to Sirius, but Sirius didn't really care.
"Probably getting a head start on schoolwork or something," Sirius muttered. "Barty is a massive nerd. Did you know he's going to be sitting twelve OWLs ?"
James nodded, imagining that Barty and Regulus were just sat up there in silence, scribbling on parchment at opposite ends of the room, and tried to push down the jealousy that was welling in his stomach at the thought of Regulus spending time with another guy.
When they went up to bed later, James noticed Barty exiting Regulus's room and heading down the hallway to the other wing. He nodded politely at James, but blatantly ignored Sirius, clearly still seething from being dragged out of the kitchen like a stray dog.
James tried not to show how thrilled he was that Barty wasn't sharing the bedroom with Regulus.
Sirius stripped down to his underwear and threw himself into his huge bed, leaving James to wrestle the camp-bed out and set it up. When he was finally done and out of his own clothes, Sirius was already snoring away.
James lay on his back under the thin sheets and checked his watch. Ten-forty-five. It was still too early. He planned to wait a few hours, until the dead of the night when he was sure Sirius was fast asleep, then he was going to sneak out and visit Regulus. Excitement swelled in his chest at the thought.
But apparently, Regulus had different ideas. James had only been laying there for fifteen minutes when Sirius's bedroom door cracked open, closing just as quickly, and a figure crawled onto the camp-bed, slipping under the sheets and pressing his bare torso against James.
"Regulus," James hissed, turning to face Regulus in the dark. Regulus pulled the sheets over their heads and sniggered. "
"Did you miss me?" he purred, leaning forward to kiss James. James kissed him, relishing in the moment, before remembering Sirius was only half a metre away from them in bed. As if to reinforce the reminder, Sirius let out a loud snore. "What are you doing? I was going to come to your room. Sirius…"
"Sirius sleeps like the dead," Regulus said, not whispering. "You should know that, you've shared a dorm with him for years."
It was true. Sirius didn't wake up for anything other than his own biological alarm clock. He'd been late for an innumerable amount of classes because his friends hadn't been able to shake him awake.
James settled down, letting his body relax and melt against Regulus's. It was nice. He realised at that moment that he'd never actually been in a bed with Regulus, and the idea stirred a different kind of excitement, somewhere much lower than his stomach.
He and Regulus had never done anything more than kiss and touch. Their brief escapades at school weren't enough to take their relationship any further. He realised then, how easy it would be for them to go further than they'd ever done before…
He was shaken out of his thoughts by the sudden thought of Barty, sleeping somewhere at the other side of the house. "Why is Barty here really, Reg?" he asked, keeping his voice quiet. "I know you didn't really just want the company. I saw how he looked at you when you were talking to Sirius."
"Are you jealous?" Regulus murmured, pressing closer to James. His fingers trailed lightly along James's ribs, and James shivered involuntarily.
"You didn't answer me," he breathed, trying to ignore the sensation.
"You didn't answer me."
"You first."
James could practically hear Regulus rolling his eyes. "Fine. But you can't let him know that I've said anything to you, because he doesn't want anyone to know," he lowered his voice. "Barty's dad beats him. That's why he never goes home for the holidays, apart from in the summer. When I knew that Mum and Dad were going away, I thought I'd give him an excuse to get away from home for the last few weeks."
"Oh." James was stunned by the truth. He knew of Bartemius Crouch Senior. He was a stiff-faced man, who worked high in the Ministry and was involved with a lot of politics. He was short and mean-looking, and James could imagine him being the type who would beat someone lesser than him. "I'm sorry. I had no idea." He felt suddenly guilty for being so jealous, when Regulus was just being a good friend.
"Now answer my question," Regulus probed.
"Okay, yes," James muttered. "I was jealous."
Regulus kissed James again, and James could tell he was grinning triumphantly. Their kisses grew more heated, their hands desperately grabbing at each other. James's breath caught in his throat as Regulus started to kiss his neck, his chest, moving lower, lower…
"Regulus," James whined, digging his fingertips into Regulus's arms, trying to pull him back up as he moved down the bed. "Not here."
Regulus looked up at James under the bedsheets, and through the darkness James could just about make out his glittering dark eyes and mischievous smirk. "You don't want me to?"
Of course he wanted him to. They had been close to doing this before, but always resisted at the last minute, in the fear (usually James's) that someone—Sirius—was going to catch them. "You know I do," James grumbled. "But…" his voice tailed off as Regulus's fingers caught the waistband of his underwear.
"He won't wake up," Regulus insisted, pressing delicate kisses along James's hip-bones, ever so slightly moving them lower. James turned his head to the ceiling and brought his arms over his face, trying to stay quiet. "But if you really don't want me to…"
"No," James gasped, as Regulus started to move back up the bed. "No, I do. Please."
Regulus's grin was as wide as a cheshire cat as he sank back down under the sheets.
After Regulus was finished and James was struggling to catch his breath, Regulus curled up under James's arm, and James stayed awake as long as he could, listening to Regulus's soft breaths as he slept. He was so happy at that moment, being able to sleep alongside another person, alongside the person that made him so happy.
James knew that Regulus would be back in his own bedroom by the time Sirius woke up. So he held him close, determined to enjoy the moment for as long as he could.
James was falling, terribly, for Regulus Black.
(It was only a matter of time before Sirius found out.)
…
As it transpired, they wouldn't have long to wait before.
It was only a few weeks into the new term when Regulus and James were hidden behind their favourite tapestry on the fourth floor, wrapped up in each other as they so often were and covered with James's invisibility cloak.
They had only been there for around ten minutes when the tapestry suddenly flung back, exposing Sirius, who was standing there in his pyjamas, holding his glowing wand over what looked to Regulus like a map. He looked up from the parchment, to Regulus and James, and then reached out blindly, grabbing for the fabric of the invisibility cloak. He pulled it away from the pair of them before James could snatch it back, leaving them both gaping at Sirius in shock.
Regulus yelped in surprise and buried his face in James's shirt. James blinked, gobsmacked, his arms wound loosely around Regulus's shoulders as Sirius shone his wand in each of their faces.
"I knew something was going on!" Sirius hissed, his expression a strange combination of triumphant and furious. "For the last year and a half you've been taking the map out on your midnight escapades. I figured you were meeting up with some bird—maybe Lily Evans—but this is a shock!" Sirius reached out and grabbed at Regulus's shoulder, pulling him into view. "My best friend and my baby brother!" Sirius slapped the map to his chest in a dramatic display of horror.
"I hate you a little bit right now," Regulus muttered, glaring at Sirius. "Will you be quiet? Do you want to wake the whole school?"
"I should have known when you were so desperate to come back to my house over the summer," Sirius continued, looking at James. "You wanted to fornicate with my baby brother!"
"Oh, for heaven's sake!" Regulus snapped.
"We haven't forni—" James started, but seemed to think better of continuing.
"When you've quite finished with the dramatics," Regulus continued. "Would you mind getting over this, because James has been freaking out about the possibility of you finding out about this since it started, and I'd really like to get on with my evening."
"There is no way this is continuing this evening," Sirius shook his head firmly. "Nope. Not a chance. Not my baby brother, Prongs."
"Sirius, I—"
"You don't get to tell me who I get to snog, Sirius!" Regulus interrupted again.
"Look," Sirius waved the map in Regulus's face. "This is...weird. You're a pair of dirty little sneaks. But I'll get over it," he grinned at James. "I'll never let you live it down though, mark my words."
James rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hand. "I can believe it."
Sirius yanked his brother out from behind the tapestry, and nudged him down the corridor. "Back to the dungeons, baby bro," he said with a grin. "You've been up to far too much mischief tonight. Imagine if Mother found out."
Regulus rolled his eyes. He knew that Sirius wouldn't dream of telling their parents really, but he would certainly enjoy teasing Regulus with the threat for as long as he could. He glanced back at James, who was smiling weakly at him, his glasses partially misted over.
"This is your fault, Sirius," Regulus said. "That this whole thing," he gestured between himself and James. "Even happened."
James nodded earnestly. "Yep. It's completely your fault, mate."
Sirius only laughed and started to push James up the corridor.
Sirius was going to torment him mercilessly for this, Regulus was sure. But as he watched Sirius link arms with his friend and drag him off to the Gryffindor Common Rooms, he was pretty sure that James would be able to handle it.
The secret was out, after all. They could breathe again.
(Maybe things would be alright after all.)
Written For:
- Assignment #6/Task #2: Write about someone trying to cover up/maintain a secret.
- Writing Club/Gotta Catch Em All: 16. Snorlax: (action) sleeping
- Writing Club/Showtime: 7. (phrase) Matter of Time
- Writing Club/Film Festival: 14. (item) Map
- Writing Club/Elizabeth's Empire: 8. (action) chuckling
- Writing Club/Throwback: 10. (word) falling
- Writing Club/Hobby Hole: 12. (action) Smashing a plant pot
- Writing Club/TV Spree: 8. (word) Crush
- Writing Club/This or That: University 8. (trope) Friends to Lovers
- Summer Seasonal/Indoor Plant Week: 9. (setting) Hogwarts Greenhouse
- Summer Seasonal/International Body Piercing Day: 2. (word) Crave
- Summer Seasonal/Video Games Day: 15. (emotion) Suspicious
- Summer Seasonal/Book Lovers Day: 1. (dialogue) "I hate you a little bit."
- Summer Seasonal/Flowers: 4. (dialogue) "Where did you learn something like that?"
- Back to School: 7. (plot/scenario) Having a crush on someone
- Cat Herding: 46. Sirius / 20. (dialogue) "Did you miss me?"
Word Count: 7,010