Auction: Regulus 21.4

Assignment 4 - RE - Task 9: Write about someone "dark" turning to the "light"

Who did you think you were fooling

Five times that James asked Regulus to join the order. One time that Regulus accepted.

Off-screen Wolfstar.

For Ari :)

"You've been following me."

James steps away from the wall he'd been leaning on. He's not surprised that Regulus has approached him. He is, however, surprised that Regulus did so with such stealth that James didn't hear him.

But maybe that's a family trait. Sirius can be very quiet too.

"Don't you have better things to do, Potter?"

James turns around, a wide grin on his lips. "Regulus, old friend, how are you?"

Regulus doesn't look impressed, but James is used to that sort of expression. He's been the brunt of that look since Lily Evans - then Lily Potter - then Evans again. It takes more than that to phase him. "Long time no see."

"Except you saw me last week," Regulus comments. "Unless it was a different glasses-wearing twit who tripped over that step and ducked into the alley-way."

James shrugs. "Maybe. Some people wear glasses just for fashion, imagine that. Anyway, I'd never fall over like that. Tuesday was just a fluke."

He grins, and Regulus looks even more irritated now.

"Why?" Regulus asks.

"Lots of reasons," James says. "Because of who you are, I'm going to tell you the truth. We know what you've signed up for…" he trails off, his eyes darting to Regulus' arm. "We've known you're taking that route since school. But… it was going to be someone else, but I told Sirius I'd be the one watching over you."

"Why? What does he care?" Regulus mutters. "Look, James, Sirius left, okay? He walked out and left me behind. There's nothing else to say. Maybe I should go..."

"No. You should hear this," James insists. "Sirius had little choice. We both know you wouldn't have come if he tried to bring you. Did you expect him to stay there any longer? You more than anyone knew what life he was living there."

This shuts Regulus up, and James takes a little bit of pleasure in that. All Sirius has been trying to do is fix this with Regulus, but his brother is having a bit of a pity party - still - about it. James knows that Regulus would never leave, but Sirius needed to escape that life and that shouldn't be held against him.

"What do you hope to achieve?"

"I want to talk," James replies. "You're in a bad place, the world is going to shit. I could come up with an elaborate speech about good and evil, about right and wrong. But we both know that you're not going to want that. So I'll be straight with you. Join our side."

Regulus snorts. "James, you're delusional," he murmurs, though there's something in his eyes that lights up at the very idea, as though it's a hidden desire. "Please stop lurking around when I'm trying to go about my business. It's not fitting for—"

"For a pureblood?" James guesses.

Regulus shakes his head. "You have a wife and a son. Go and spend time with your family."

"What do you care about my family?" James asks. Clearly Regulus doesn't know about the divorce, and James isn't going to fill him in. He'll find out when he finds out.

"Not much." This time Regulus smiles. "But as one of the very few people who knows life inside of Grimmauld Place, you understand how children can feel when their parent is absent more than they are around. We grew up in that life, don't miss out on your time with your son. Goodbye, James."

With that, Regulus walks away. James decides not to follow. Maybe Regulus is right. Maybe he should go and see his son.

"You know I can't talk to you in here," Regulus says, as James slips into the booth once the dirty plate has been removed.

"Why not? Two old school-friends having a catch-up," James tells him. He looks Regulus over. Regulus looks a little less hostile this time, but as handsome as ever. People all think that Sirius is the best looking brother. They're entitled to their own opinions, and Sirius really is beautiful. But Regulus… there's just something about Regulus that outshines Sirius in that aspect. Not that he'd dare tell his best friend that. Or tell his best-friend's boyfriend. He likes living, thank you very much.

"It'd put targets on our backs, but you know a lot about targets, wouldn't you?" Regulus states, eyebrow raised as he reaches for his drink. "No one should know I'm here."

"Fine. We'll meet elsewhere. How about…" James trails off, thinking about it. "Where else is there in town?"

Regulus sighs. "My room. Room seven. Don't be obvious that you're following me up. Order some food and try to be inconspicuous. I know it's hard…"

"Because of my amazing looks?" James asks.

Regulus shakes his head. "No. Because your head is so big that people can't help but stare at it," Regulus mutters. "What I'm saying is, blend in a bit better and then come to my room."

James nods his head.

Regulus leaves the table, and James does as he's told, but not before watching Regulus walk away. James orders a shepherd's pie and a beer and he eats quickly when it comes out, before following Regulus. He finds the room quickly, and prepares himself for some sort of attack. But there's nothing. Just Regulus sitting on the bed, book in hand.

"Why are you here?"

"For you."

"Did my words go over your head last time?" Regulus asks. "Do the right thing for your family."

This time James shrugs. "Divorced now. I see my son… weekends. I always turn up when it's my turn. Always make sure to call. I do what I'm allowed to do."

This time, Regulus actually looks interested in the conversation.

"I thought you had everything you wanted," Regulus admits, setting the book down on the side and slipping a bookmark between the pages before he closes it completely. "It's not my business, but I'm curious as to how."

He pats the bed and James kicks off his shoes and sits down. "Honestly, I thought so too," he says. He thinks back, trying to pinpoint the moment it all went wrong. But as always, he struggles to find that one moment. Maybe it was everything and he didn't see it, or maybe it came on so gradually.

"I don't know," James admits quietly. "We just weren't happy. I think… We talked about it and perhaps we rushed the relationship. The world going how it's going, we may have rushed to get married. Had a kid, and it just fell apart. I loved Lily, and I was on top of the world when she finally noticed me in the way I wanted. But…"

"You're good looking enough to find someone else," Regulus murmurs. James turns his head quickly, and he notices Regulus' gaze shifting over his body. Regulus glances away quickly.

"It's not easy these days. I suppose… I miss having a reason to go home."

"Is that why you take all of the jobs that have you following me across England?"

"Maybe it's one of the reasons."

"The second being Sirius and the third being that… Order or whatever you're in?"

James nods. "There's a fourth."

"What is that?" Regulus asks.

"Maybe I give a shit about you myself. Did you ever consider that?" He shifts into a more comfortable position. "So, how about it, Regulus? Wanna join us? You don't even have to join us, just… leave them."

Regulus sighs and shakes his head. "How long do you plan on following me today?" he asks.

"Uh… I was thinking a couple more hours. Doing anything interesting that I should know about?"

"I was just going to read my book. But if you're insistent, you're welcome to sit in here. As long as you're quiet."

"I need you to tell my brother something," Regulus says, as James walks into the room. It's not the same hotel. Regulus is travelling the UK and James has been following him, trying to get a handle on what Regulus is doing. He's caught him talking to people, but he's just gathering information right now because he's not sure who the people are or what he's achieving from it.

James nods. He was almost asleep, the bed being so comfortable, and he's finding himself really enjoying Regulus' company. Not that he can admit that to Sirius, because Sirius will have questions - ones that James isn't sure he can comfortably answer.

"What?"

"I've heard rumors that things are bad between him and his boyfriend. Lots of finger-pointing." Regulus doesn't meet James' gaze. "It's not him."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"The spy. It's not… it's not Lupin."

James is silent for a long moment, considering the words. First off, and probably the most important - this is confirmation that there is really a spy in the order. They were sure, but being sure and having the other side actually confirm it are very different.

Second. Sirius and Remus are having problems? They're pointing fingers at each other? Sirius never told him, and Sirius tells him everything.

"Why are you telling me this?" James finally asks. Is this a trick by Regulus to get James to leave to return home to see his friends?

"I don't know," Regulus admits. "I couldn't care less about your pathetic order. But… my brother walked out on his family, and one of the reasons he did that was because of Lupin. If he breaks up with his boyfriend over this, it means that he gave us up for nothing."

"So, who is the spy?"

Regulus is quiet once more. "I have some guesses," he admits. "I don't know his face, I know he's close to you all, but I don't know what capacity. But I know it's not Lupin. He laughed during the meeting. Laughed at the hypocrisy. He said that his little rat is doing damage, starting with my blood traitor brother and the werewolf. Not in those exact words, but to summarise." Regulus looks genuinely upset for a moment. "Has Lupin been a werewolf this whole time? Nevermind, that doesn't matter. Despite our different sides and different views, I do not want any of the three of you getting hurt."

"Sounds like you care," James replies softly.

"I've always cared," Regulus admits quietly. "Not all of us are blessed with friends who will give us a new home. Not all of us are placed in Gryffindor. The house considered it. I suppose it didn't deem me brave enough to be welcome there."

"Would you have agreed?" James asks.

"I suppose not." Regulus sighs. "And I would have refused should Sirius has asked me to leave because I'm not brave. I don't have it in me to make those brave choices."

"You're not defined by your house," James murmurs. "An eleven year old might not be brave, but he can learn to be when he's eighteen. Houses just seperate people. I'm not here because there's an order… or because Sirius has asked me. It's beyond that. I'm here because you matter to me." His gaze moves across Regulus' body, taking in the dark-green woolen jumper that Regulus is wearing, Regulus is good looking, but James shouldn't be admiring how he looks. He shouldn't be thinking about Regulus Black in any other way.

"Will you join us?" James finds himself asking. Maybe this time Regulus will find that bravery. His organisation is getting worse, and surely this is the point where Regulus wants to get out?

Regulus smirks. "I'm getting bored with talking," he says. "And I'm getting impatient. Take your clothes off."

The logical side of James reminds him that Regulus is Sirius' little brother. But he can't resist. He wants Regulus, he's attracted to him and he's gotten to know Regulus in these funny little meetings over the last three months.

His clothes end up on the floor, and he takes pride in the way that Regulus bits his lip as he looks James over.

"What are you waiting for?" Regulus asks. "If I'm stuck with you being around, I might as well enjoy it."

James knows that there's more to it than that. He knows that Regulus is lonely and that he's looking to feel some sort of warmth. He's Sirius' brother with the same upbringing. He saw Sirius seek that closeness with Remus.

He's determined to give Regulus what he might not even realise he wants. This is going to be the best night of Regulus' life.

They start off in bed. There's little talking. Just Regulus half dressed on the bed, and James knowing he planned to watch Regulus for the entire evening until morning. He strips his clothes as he moves over to the bed, and he knows that he's not on a time limit like he was last time.

He leaves Regulus gasping for breath. His body shaking. He lays next to him and cards his fingers through short dark curls that fall around Regulus' ears.

"I did something bad today," Regulus says, after they lay there for half an hour, lost in their own thoughts.

"What happened?" James knows what the Death Eaters did that day. It's one of the reasons he's been sent here overnight. The Order are expecting a second attack to happen to follow up the first.

"She… made me…" he murmurs. "There was so much fire. The house burning. She… she was torturing… I… I saw the state of the woman and knew that… she was going to die from what she did to her. I… knew that if I didn't do this, they'd seek out someone else for me to…" Regulus' eyes are glassy, but tears don't fall. "I believe that if I didn't take a life today, they'd get someone else. Sirius, Remus, even you. Whichever one of you that they could get their hands on first. Maybe another member of your Order. The woman was going to die, regardless. I… I… I thought at the very least, I could… I could prevent her from suffering anymore."

He sounds so broken, and doesn't even hide the shame from his voice. James has never heard Regulus sound so utterly lose. He moves closer and wraps Regulus in his arms. Regulus shakes with silent tears and James holds him tightly. He wasn't supposed to get this involved and he's failing his mission by basically everything he's been doing.

He wasn't supposed to fall for Regulus.

"You know that we'll keep you safe, don't you?" James murmurs softly. "I'll keep you safe."

Regulus smiles but he doesn't reply. James stays awake long after Regulus falls asleep in his arms, and James tries to think of ways to protect Regulus. Just anything that he can do. But unless Regulus wants that help, there's little he can think of.

James doesn't like the way Regulus is pacing around the room. He looks like a man on a mission, and there's a fierce determination on his face.

James has never seen it before, but he's used to these expressions on Sirius' face. He can read Sirius like the back of his hand, and he's realising the brothers aren't really all that different.

"What are you planning?" he asks.

Regulus turns to him. "Something big," he says. His eyes are bright, he's looking quite wild and it's sexy and James misses them being in bed. Not just the sex, but the closeness. "Something amazing. I see everything so clearly now, James."

James nods slightly. He tries to get a read on Regulus. He tries to make sense of what he could be planning, but whilst the expressions are similar to what he's used to on Sirius, Regulus thinks a different way. His plans are thought out and logical whilst Sirius' plans are spur of the moment.

He's got nothing.

"How can I help?"

Regulus quickly shakes his head. "You can't," he insists. "But I know what to do. I'll be safe and quick and then…"

"We can help," James insists. "You could join us. Have me, Sirius and Remus at your side."

Regulus shakes his head. "I appreciate that you think that offer helps. If I ever change my mind, I will tell you. Please, James. Stop pushing." He sighs. "I can do this alone."

"I'm not going to let you. At the very least, let me come."

"Why?" Regulus asks. "Because you're good in bed and think it means you can make demands?"

"Because I think I'm falling in love with you and it'd destroy me if something happened to you. It'd destroy Sirius too, but I'm selfishly focusing on myself here."

The words hang in the air between them and Regulus' expression softens in a way James has never seen on him before.

The closest he can think of is when Sirius looks at Remus as though Remus is his world, and the implication of that is not lost on him. Maybe he's misreading this. Maybe this expression is the one that the brothers do not mirror.

"Swear to me that if your life is at risk, you'll send for me," James asks, walking over. His hand slips across Regulus' jaw, brushing his ear and pushing some of the short curls back. He tenses his fingers, clasping the hair softly. "Swear that and I'll let you go."

"Would you stop me?"

James shakes his head. "If you're intent on walking out of here without making the promise, I'm not going to force you to stay. It's all your choice. I'll be here, waiting for your return."

"I'll send word," Regulus says. "If I need someone, I'll send for you."

James leans in, his heart pounding as Regulus' lips find his. It's the slowest, most gentle kiss they've ever shared. He doesn't want to let Regulus go, but that's not a choice he's able to make. He hates that the kiss feels like a goodbye. Like Regulus isn't sure if he's coming back.

"Patronus?" he asks.

"My brother must never know." He grins, a little shyly. "It's a gazelle."

James laughs softly. It's so fitting, the creature fits Regulus, but it's a type of stag. He wants to know if it's always been that, but now is not the time to ask.

"I'll watch out for it. I'll be ready to come for you."

Regulus hesitates. "A small cave," he says. "You need to cut your hand and touch the wall as the blood will let you in. Bring a way across the water."

James nods. This makes no sense. The cave could be anywhere, but he supposes that's the point. He gets the information he needs now, and he gets the location if Regulus needs him.

"I will see you again," James says, somewhat forcefully. "You will come back to me."

"You seem to like me being around," Regulus murmurs. "Maybe you do really care."

James nods. "I told you how much."

Regulus steps back out of his embrace. "And I've fancied you since I was… fifteen," he admits quietly. "But this love thing… that's new. It's hard as hell to walk away right now. But I have to be brave. I have to do the right thing." He pauses. "Are you alright?"

"I have a fucking hole in my chest," James whispers. "If you don't leave now, I don't think I'll have the strength to let you." Part of him hopes that Regulus just doesn't leave, but he knows that Regulus is set on this. He hears the door open, but his eyes remain on the window.

James doesn't watch him leave. He can't bear it. Hearing that Regulus loves him should be a wonderful moment, but the fact that he might never see him again sours everything about the day.

He wants to follow him, but he doesn't. If he does, Regulus won't trust him. Regulus won't call for him when he needs to.

The heartache is real. He's never been this terrified.

James silently heals himself. There are marks on his skin, so many more on Regulus. The Inferi almost had Regulus under the water, and James had to be drastic.

Flames. The most effective way to kill the creatures. The only way to get them to let go of Regulus. But by shooting flames at creatures that were clinging to Regulus. Well, he had to hurt Regulus too.

He had no time for anything else. There were no other options that wouldn't risk Regulus' life. Anything else would have only given Regulus a slim chance of surviving.

He watches Poppy Pomfrey healing Regulus. She's wasted at the school, but she's the only one that he trusts. She's the one who looked after Remus after every full-moon without judgement. She allowed the other Marauders to sneak in and see Remus.

He doesn't sleep. He makes sense of Regulus being in his flat, in his bed, and he starts cooking. He's only been learning to cook for the last eleven months. Lily loved cooking and never let James take charge in the kitchen, and after seeing Sirius enjoying it, he got his friend to give him lessons. He's been divorced for almost a year now, but he's got a nice little place and he's happy, and he's glad that Regulus is here.

Sirius would be fuming if he found out that his cooking lessons were so James could cook for Regulus.

Regulus comes into the kitchen when the food is almost ready. He wraps arms around James, cuddling into his back as James stirs the spaghetti bolognaise. "Hey."

"Hey yourself. How are you feeling?"

"Like I was set on fire," Regulus jokes, his voice hoarse. "I'll be sore for a while."

James let's go of the spoon and spins around urgently. "Regulus, I had no choice. You were almost under. Fire was the only change I had, but there were so many, that…"

Regulus has the audacity to laugh. "I don't blame you. I wouldn't be alive were it not for you. James, you saved me." He leans up and places a kiss on James' lips.

"I've done something that he will never forgive me for. But what I have in my possession will help you. I hope. It's something valuable to him." Regulus smiles. "Is it too much to hope that I can stay here with—"

"Of course. My home is your home, and I mean that in every sense of the word." He pulls Regulus close, kissing him gently. "My bed is your bed, luv—"

"What the utter fuck is happening?" A voice from the doorway leaves James cold, and slowly, he turns his head, Regulus also looking over to where Sirius is standing in the doorway, arms folded. "Your bed is his bed, and you better not be shagging my brother, Potter."

"Uh… James managed to convince me to… to leave the Death Eaters and join you guys," Regulus says, smiling hopefully.

"With his magic fucking cock, I suppose?" Sirius snaps. "You've got thirty minutes to eat that food - and turn the oven off before it burns - and then we're sitting in the living room and having a talk about not shagging my little brother, or participating in your… shenanigans!"

James can't disguise the guilty look on his face, and Sirius' eyes widen, completely horrified at what he's hearing.

"Okay. You better fucking marry him after… deflowering him," Sirius declares. "I'll be… I'll be in the other room. Don't have sex whilst I'm in this flat. If you can keep it in your pants long enough." He storms from the room, and James laughs softly.

"Well, that's the closest we're going to get to him approving, for now," he says, his lips pressing against Regulus' neck. "And this is surprisingly how I pictured our first date. With your brother chaperoning us."

"Funny. It's how I imagined it too. He's going to leave eventually?"

"Yeah. Then I'll show you our bedroom."

3982 words

Back to school - 87 - Marauder Era

Cat Herding - Regulus / Astronomy Tower - "Maybe I should go..."

Writing Club

Gotta Catch Them All - 6. Lickitung: (word) sour

Written in the Stars - 13. (trope) 5 plus 1

Book Club - 6. Rubeus Hagrid: (action) smiling, (genre) hurt/comfort, (plot point) saying goodbye

Showtime - 15. High Enough - (feeling) Shame

Film Festival - 22. (plot point) Getting left behind (doesn't have to be intentional)

Lizzy's Loft - 9. Thunder - Wanna leave my own life behind

Elizabeth's Empire - 28. (word) disguise

Sophie's Smut Bucket - 14. (dialogue) "I'm getting impatient. Take your clothes off."

Amber's Anime - 15. "Are you alright?"/"I have a fucking hole in my chest!"

Lyric Alley - 6. And if you switch sides, you're gon' have to claim your place

Throwback - 2. (word) Mission

Hobby Hole - 4. Colour: Green

Artist Appreciation - 27. When The Heartache Is Over: - Prompt - (word) heartache

Buttons - Word: (1) Shenanigans - Actions (5) Stealing - Emotions (1) Despair

Resolution Evolution - 9. Write a fic of one of your housemates' favorite OTPs

TV Spree - 4. (location) Motel Room