Auction - Sirius & The Potters

Assignment 4 - Religious Education - Task #10: Philip: Write about someone eager to help others

A/N: Warnings for child abuse/neglect (events happen prior to the story, not in this story itself). To be honest, if you're familiar with how I write Sirius' upbringing, it's pretty much the same.

But I'll have to find a way somehow

Sirius' biggest fear when going to live with the Potters, is that they'll find him a burden, just like his real family did. He sets out to be anything but. Maybe if he's perfect, they won't ask him to leave?

Dorea pours tea from the teapot into all of the cups and she looks up at the woman on the other side of the table.

"The reason I'm here," the woman says, reaching for the sugar and spooning some into her drink, before storing it, "is because there has been an… incident."

"Incident?" Charlus asks, leaning forward. His hands are clasped together in front of him. "I'm afraid we're at a loss. I'm not sure why Social Services would be contacting us, Miss…"

"Davies. Caroline Davies," the woman says. "Perhaps incident isn't the right word. We've been searching for you both for a short time. You've been listed as next of kin by the boy himself, though you're not related to him. His family are refusing to take him in, and we want to reach out to all avenues in our attempts to find him somewhere to go. Even for a short time."

"Who is it?" Dorea asks. "I can't think of anyone related to us that could possibly…"

"Sirius Black," Caroline says. "We understand that you're not blood related. But we've done our research, and in the past you've been put on forms to do things like collect him from school and appointments, and after swimming lessons. Granted, this was all a few years ago, but… he gave your name and was quite adamant that… Well, he called you his parents so we thought we'd come and speak to both of you."

Dorea is quiet for a long moment. "That's a name we haven't heard in a few years," she admits. "The Blacks moved back to London. Walburga said that our son was a bad influence on Sirius and cut contact. It was hard for James, they were like brothers. We reached out again a year or so ago, but never heard back. What can we do to help him?"

"More importantly, what happened and is he okay?" Charlus asks.

"There were a few… incidents. A few reports from places like school regarding behaviour, smoking and some unexplained bruises," the social worker tells them. "The school believed Sirius was acting out because of his home life. A neighbour reported a situation where they heard his mother screaming at him. When we talked to Sirius about it, he said… his mother didn't appreciate him trying her heels and lipstick on. There was also…" Caroline shifts sheets of paper. "A report of him and a student in the year above him being a little inappropriate."

"In what way?" Charlus asks, frowning.

"It was after school, the building was somewhat empty. Sirius is adamant that it wasn't all that bad. He said the other student was just touching his behind during some kissing, but along with all the other concerns raised… I've talked it all through with Sirius at length, and I believe him when he says nothing else happened. But I can also see that he's very vulnerable and we need to help him before he ends up in another situation like that, because I don't think he'd stop things if another student escalated them."

Dorea shakes her head. "I don't like any of this. What else?"

Caroline glances down into the cup of tea in her hands. "It's evident that Sirius is very neglected, and evidence of physical abuse at home."

"Abuse?" Dorea whispers.

Caroline nods. "Nothing else," she assures Dorea. "But that neglect is… it's causing him to seek affection in other ways, and it's good that it was noticed before anything more happened. I've sat and talked with Sirius for two days, and… it's clear that he just wants to feel loved, and will accept whatever is thrown at him as long as he has that end result. Currently, it's a bit of inappropriate touching with other boys at school. But… if not dealt with now, Sirius might end up seeking out affection and end up in a very bad place. We don't want that to happen. In my line of work, it can go very badly."

Dorea clutches her cup tightly in her hands.

"So when things are bad at home, he tolerates them because every now and then, there is a good day. The incident at school, it made him feel wanted and the focus of someone's attention. Even when he misbehaves, it's because it gets some sort of reaction and he feels like someone is paying him attention, and that attention is what he craves because he's so used to his parents not offering any. He's a great boy," Caroline insists. "I want to find him a home because we're not letting him go back where he was. His little brother is staying with a cousin, but she… has taken issue to Sirius' implied sexuaility and means of expressing himself. By that, I refer to the high-heels and lipstick. Though I'm still unsure if that's a means of expression, or if it was rebelling against his "

"What you're saying is that his family don't want him because he was just trying these things out?" Charlus asks, appalled.

Caroline nods. "That's why I'm here. Sirius kept talking about his other parents. It was the only time he seemed happy. When his life in London was mentioned… he was like two different people. It took a while before we managed to work out who you are and where to find you, and of course we had to get information into your relationship with Sirius. Based on the level of trust that the Blacks gave to you in regards to him - you were the emergency contacts at his school and everything, we just… we need somewhere for him to stay. Even if it's just fostering until we find him a proper home."

Dorea looks at Charlus. She can't make this choice alone, but she feels tears in her eyes as she imagines what Sirius has been through.

"He's only fifteen," she whispers.

"We'll clear out the study immediately. When will Sirius be coming?"

Caroline smiles, relieved. "As soon as you're ready for him to come."

Charlus runs a hand through his already messy hair. "I don't think we'll be ready for this at all," he admits. "But Sirius needs us now, so we'll have the room ready tomorrow. Even if we have to start with a camp bed until we're able to get a real one."

"We'll set you up as foster carers for the time being. If things change… if you can't have him anymore, or if you want him to stay longer, just tell us." Caroline takes a sip of her tea. "Which brings us on to paperwork."

Sirius is surprised when he's brought to Dorea and Charlus. They'd moved since he was last at their house back when he was… eight? Nine? Something like that. Yeah, around that age. That was when his parents decided that he wasn't allowed around James anymore.

He's not really sure what to do right now. He wasn't expecting to come here. He's still quite shaken, actually. He's away from his parents, and he was half expecting to be brought straight back there. But…

The Potters will have been told why he's here, and his parents have made it very clear that it's something to be ashamed about. They made that extremely clear and Sirius has scars that'll forever remind him that he's disgusting.

"Sirius, it's wonderful to see you," Dorea says and for some reason, she's hugging him. He doesn't move, because this is weird, right?

"Hello, Mrs Potter," he says, in his most polite voice, because Mother would be so angry if he wasn't the most polite he could be. "How are you?" He glances at her outfit. A cotton-candy dress. "You look very nice today."

She lets go, and she stares at him, and he can see the frown on her forehead, though she's trying to smile.

"I'm fine, my darling. I… hope you are well. You look very nice too. You've grown up to be very handsome."

"I am, well, I mean," Sirius says quietly. He's not really, but one doesn't talk about private matters. "I…" his eyes search around. "Thank you. How's James?"

"He's actually upstairs. We'll call him down in a minute," Dorea tells him. She's smiling. She looks happier now and perhaps they don't know his secret after all. "Miss Davies has asked if you can stay here for a little while, with us. Now, we don't have a room set up for you just yet. But if you're happy for a camp bed for a couple of days, until your bed arrives, then you're able to stay straight away. We thought you could have the camp bed in James' room, if you prefer. Or if you want to sleep in a room alone, we can set that up in the room, or even down here. You can watch the tv for a bit before bedtime."

Sirius nods slowly. "That all sounds fine," he says. He doesn't want to be in a room by himself in a house he doesn't know. But if he makes a fuss, they might not want him here. His goal is to be as… acceptable as possible. As unnoticable as possible.

"We can decorate the room for you today. We've moved things from the room for space, and it looks like it needs a good coat of paint. Since it's going to be your room, you get to make the choice of what colours you like. So, you have a think about that," Dorea adds.

"I'm happy with… with whatever colour." He knows what colours he'd like if he were to pick, but it'd be an inconvenience. He doesn't want to be that.

Dorea looks over at Charlus and Sirius nervously follows her gaze. He doesn't know what to say to Charlus.

"So… we haven't seen you in years, my darling. How are you? How was London?"

"Too noisy. Busy. It's quieter here. You don't live in Cheshire anymore." He doesn't really want to talk about his life in London. He doesn't like to think about that. He liked Cheshire. That was a happier life because he had James and the Potters. London is noisy, it's busy. It's loud and overwhelming and disgusting. "London is… overwhelming. There's so much happening."

He feels like this is safe to say, because Wales is quieter so maybe that'd appease the Potters, whilst still letting him tell the truth. He opens his mouth to try add something else, but starts to think of his parents, and wraps his arms around himself. He doesn't want to think about them.

"It's quieter here. Even in town it can be quieter," Dorea confirms. "But whenever we go out, you just tell us if you feel overwhelmed and we'll help you out."

Sirius nods slightly. He's not sure whether to believe her or not, but it'd be rude to argue. What if he does and they get mad? What are the punishments here? At least at home he knew what'd make his family angry. He doesn't know that here and that thought terrifies him. He's not aware that he's shaking until Dorea is hugging him again.

"I promise I won't be any trouble for you," he says instead. He stays still throughout this other hug, though all he wants to do is find James. James was always nice to him. He's wanted to see James in the longest time. He's spent time imagining that James would suddenly appear and ask Sirius to run away to Chesire again. He wanted James to somehow find him in London.

James never did, but Sirius knows it's because he's probably not worth that. His parents made that so very clear.

But does James even remember him? Maybe James has moved on and doesn't care anymore?

"I know you won't, my dear," Dorea says instead. "We do have rules here, but we'll go over them with you. A certain time you're expected home in the evenings, behaviour… no smoking - at least in the house. We should… discuss that you were caught smoking before. We'd prefer that you don't continue that habit, but we'll have a conversation about how best to proceed with that soon, okay?"

Sirius nods, wary. They're not shouting so they're not too mad about that. Or maybe they think that his own parents dealt with that already. He chooses to stay silent in case he says the wrong thing. If he says the wrong thing, they might decide that they don't want him here anymore. He can give up smoking. He only did it because the other boys said it was cool, and they were always so nice to him when they were alone.

He already knows that his stay here is temporary. But… maybe if he's good enough and obeys the rules, they'll let him stay longer. Well, he knows he's not good but he can pretend to be. He just needs to pretend and convince them that he's not a burden.

"I think it's time for me to take my leave," Caroline says. "Sirius, you have my number in case you need to call, and I'll stop in for visits. If there's any concerns, then you can tell me. Okay?"

"You can use the house-phone anytime," Charlus says. "James will show you where to put your things. We've made space in James' room for now until your furniture arrives. He's made space for your bed, but, like we said, that's your choice."

"He made space? He wants me to stay in his room?" Sirius twists his head to look at Charlus. "Why?"

"Because he's missed you," Charlus confirms. "He even tried to contact your cousin. He found… Bellatrix, is it? Yes, Bellatrix online and sent a message to find out how you are and if you had a mobile so he could contact you. She never replied and James was really disappointed."

"He… looked for me?" Sirius can't stop himself from smiling at the idea. Even if this is some sort of trick, the thought can't stop him from smiling.

"You've always mattered to James. To all of us," Dorea tells him. "I'll let James know to come down."

Sirius watches as Dorea walks the social worker out of the room. He can hear them talking in the hallway for a moment, before the front door closes behind her and Dorea calls James' name.

He's nervous all over again. What if James doesn't like him anymore? What if James has other friends that are cooler and less of a burden and less disgusting? What if James wrote him off already and wants nothing to do with him anymore?

He can hear James rushing down the stairs, and his gaze moves to Charlus in panic. But Charus is smiling at him as though he's delighted to have Sirius there, and that's so confusing because people don't usually like having him around.

"Sirius!" James says. "I'm so glad you're here!" He doesn't even have time to register the words before James hugs him, and Sirius doesn't know what to do. He's not used to all of the hugs, but he doesn't want to be rude and say anything. "Mate. It's going to be great, you staying here and all. Dad said we can redecorate your room, so we'll make it all cool and we'll put posters up and you're staying in my room for now. Come on, we'll put your stuff away and I'll show you around."

James grabs his arm and drags him away. He shoots one last look Charlus' way before he's pulled upstairs. He wants to make sure that this is okay. He hasn't been dismissed from the conversation, and he doesn't want James to get in trouble. Charlus just smiles at him, so Sirius follows and does as he's told - he doesn't want to upset James.

They get to James' room and James turns to look at him. "You're really quiet," he comments. "But mum said you might not feel yourself, so that's fine. We'll just hang out like we used to, alright?"

Sirius gives James the slightest of nods, the way his father taught him to respond, and that seems to be enough to appease James.

He's not himself. That's a good way to explain it. He doesn't want James to know everything. He wants to just leave it at that. Maybe they can all pretend that he didn't live in London at all.

Sirius doesn't get very involved in picking the furniture, so Dorea aims for something similar to what James has. A double bed, a dresser, chest of drawers, a desk and some shelves. After some discussion, Sirius mentions that he doesn't mind red, like James' old bedroom in Cheshire, so Charlus sets out to get a similar colour, and he gets started on painting the room, wanting to get it done for when the furniture arrives the next day.

Dorea finds Charlus in the room, roller in hand, already with a lot of red paint on him. She wants to talk to Charlus about Sirius. Sirius is terrified. The Sirius she remembers from years ago was a ball of energy, always laughing and joking. He was cheeky and charming, but this Sirius looks like he's about to up and run. He's thrown by a simple hug, uncertain over kind words, and he closes off even more at the mere mention of London or his family. He doesn't know how to act.

He's been through a lot, and just seeing the change that he's undertaken in the last few years hurts. She used to see Sirius as a second son, when he was a part of their lives before, and she can't even find the words to express the anger she feels towards Sirius' family.

But Sirius said their names. He must still see them as a family. Dorea is sure the boy they knew is somewhere inside of Sirius, and hopefully they'll help bring it out of him. Somehow.

"I'm going to the shops," she tells Charlus. "I know we were going to have a celebration dinner out to welcome Sirius to our family, but after the things he's said, I think perhaps we should eat at home. I'll cook his favourite, my stew, and I'm going to make the lemon drizzle cake that he used to love. I… I don't know what else to do to help him."

"We just have to be patient and make him feel welcome. Show him he's family, and show unconditional love," Charlus says. "I can imagine that he's not going to make this easy on us whilst he adjusts."

"We'll handle it all as we go," Dorea says. "I'm going to pick up some other bits whilst I'm out."

Charlus nods. "We need to make him feel like he matters," he confirms. "We can go out for a meal anytime. Let's help Sirius settle first. As for… there was the situation with the… lipstick?"

"Sirius will be told that he's free to learn who he is in whichever way he feels he needs to express himself. Again, something we will deal with when the situation arises." Dorea considers Charlus' words. "He'll have his own room and we can give him pocket money and if he wants to pursue those interests, he'll have the privacy to do so."

"Just leave that," James complains as Sirius wipes the table. "Mum said not to do it."

"It's fine," Sirius mutters, inspecting the table for dirt.

"It's clean. Come on, Remus and Peter are coming over. You need to go and get ready."

Sirius nods, and sets the cloth on the side of the sink. It looks tidy. Hopefully Dorea and Charlus appreciate it and think it's worth keeping him around for another day.

"Sirius, once you're washed and dressed, come to the study for a chat," Charlus says. Sirius freezes. What did he do wrong?

"It's just a catch-up, don't you worry," Charlus says, his voice so casual, but Sirius isn't fooled. He knows he's done something wrong, and he knows he's about to be punished. He rushes upstairs and takes a quick shower, not wanting to leave Charlus waiting. He drags a brush through his curls, wincing as it pulls, but time is of the essence.

He sets the brush down and pulls his clothes on as quickly as possible and rushes down the stairs and waits outside of the study to be summoned.

Ten minutes pass until the door opens, and Charlus looks surprised to see Sirius out there. "Did you knock?" he asks. "I'm sorry, I mustn't have heard you. Have you been waiting long?"

"Only ten minutes," Sirius replies quietly. "I… I didn't knock. I didn't want to disturb you."

Charlus looks a little shook by this, but a warm smile replaces the expression. "Next time, you don't have to rush anything, unless we're on some sort of deadline, like if I'm going out and need to talk to you beforehand, or if you're going out," he says. "And you can knock anytime you need to. You and James come first over whatever else is happening. Do you understand?"

Sirius nods. He can knock. He can take a bit more time. He's got that rule firmly in his head now. He understands. "You wanted me to come here, should we get this over with?" He tries to sound as polite as possible in case Charlus is already annoyed.

Charlus nods. "Come on in. Sit down. I had this talk with James about two years ago, and again six months ago, but I'm not sure if you've had it or when. Sirius, we were informed that you were involved in a situation that could have gotten inappropriate." He closes the door and goes to sit on his side of the desk and Sirius tenses. He's about to get punished.

"So. Me and Dorea have decided that the best thing to do is for me to sit you down under the assumption that you've not had the sex talk yet. Now, we do have a few rules. We are quite old-fashioned and are aware that teenagers… get involved. But we've always talk James to think his actions through. There's no rush."

"Wait. This isn't because I… I got involved with another boy?" Sirius blurts out. His eyes widen as he realises what he's said. "I mean. I… regret that and it will never happen again, Sir." He's shaking. He can feel it, and Charlus stands and walks around the desk.

Charlus drops down and looks Sirius in the eyes.

"We're your parents now," he says softly. "And do not have any regrets who you are, my boy. Date girls, date boys. As long as you're happy. All we ask is that you don't rush into furthering any relationship. You're worth much more in a relationship than a… fumble in a bathroom somewhere, okay?"

Sirius slowly nods. He's lost as to what is happening. The snogging in the boys toilets was nice, but he's not sure that Charlus wants to hear that. He's not sure if he should say it. He's being given rules in the form of advice, and he needs to listen carefully so he doesn't make a mistake. If he listens and obeys, they'll maybe let him stay longer.

"If you're gay, we accept that. If you're bisexual, we accept that too. We accept everything about you, Sirius. So when you meet someone you really like, we'd like to meet them and make sure that you're happy, that they're not taking advantage, and that they are good enough for you." Charlus stands and pats Sirius on the shoulder. Sirius can't help but flinch, but it's just a pat and he relaxes slightly. "Caroline explained that it was nothing more than kissing. But she also believes that you're in a vulnerable place that could allow one of those boys to take advantage of you. We're your family now, and we're not going to let that happen. So, if any situation like that arises, I hope you'll walk away from it. Talk to me or Dorea and we'll give you advice."

Sirius nods again. Nodding feels safer than words.

Charlus moves back around the desk and to his chair. "So, let's get this talk done," Charlus continues. "When dating a girl—"

"No," Sirius whispers, testing this out. Charlus isn't mad at him, so will he get in trouble for interrupting? "Not girls." He hopes that he doesn't get shouted at. He hopes there is no punishment for this.

Charlus nods. "Well, let's discuss relationships with other boys, what you should be wary of in relationships and in dating, and safe sex. Then we can leave this office and pretend that this conversation wasn't as awkward as it appears to be."

Sirius is sure that Charlus is joking at the end, and he catches the man's eye. Charlus is grinning, and Sirius offers the smallest of smiles back.

Sirius stares at Peter. This is one of James' friends, and he can't help but feel a bit jealous. They're talking quickly and about tv shows that Sirius has never heard of. They mentioned a film in the cinema that Sirius hasn't seen.

He sits quietly, his eyes moving between the pair. He's already tidied up after lunch and he's not causing problems so the Potters don't get rid of him. He's trying to make understand Peter. Peter is messy. His clothes are askew, his hair is messy. There's a mark on his top.

Sirius keeps staring between the pair, trying to make sense of this friendship. He hears a knock on the door and he tenses. It's going to be the other one he realises. The other friend. James already has two friends, and Sirius makes three. That's too many friends. Maybe James won't want him anymore because he has the others?

Now he has two people to share James with, and he doesn't like this. The old days were just him and James and they weren't perfect, but it made sense.

"Sirius, you should really watch it," James says, glancing over. "I'll show you it if you like?"

Sirius nods slightly. That means James wants to spend time with him watching some random tv show about a Doctor, or something. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices Dorea setting her cup of tea down and walking out of the room. He watches the door, prepared for another messy friend to show up.

Dorea walks back in and Sirius' eyes widen at the sight behind her. Another boy walks in, and yes, his hair is messy, but it's perfectly messy.

He's taller than Sirius and he wears the dorkiest cardigan in the world. Rainbow bands sit on his wrists and Sirius isn't sure he can breathe. Sirius almost falls off the sofa in his haste to stand up.

"Hey. I'm Sirius," he says, trying to sound smooth. He's trying like the boys at school tried with him. It worked on him. But Charlus has explained already that morning that it's because Sirius is in a vulnerable state. He doesn't agree with that, he doesn't think. He's not sure.

"Oh, James mentioned you've come to stay." The boy beams at him and Sirius feels weak at the knees. He walks forward and extends his hand, wanting to be closer. "I'm Remus Lupin." He seems a bit surprised with the handshake, but still, he extends his hand and Sirius takes it.

"Remus," Sirius repeats. "You're cute."

"Oh. Am I?" Remus' cheeks turn red. "Uh… thank you?"

"So…" Sirius trails off. He's not sure what else to say now. Usually this is where they end up going to the boys toilets for a snog, but Charlus said not to rush things. That's a rule. He can't break one of the rules here because they might kick him out. He frowns as he tries to work out how to handle it. Also, Sirius always felt a bit upset after the snogging sessions because the guys would ignore him afterwards, and on that thought, he realises that he doesn't want to say other things that the guys would say to him. He doesn't want Remus to feel sad.

He's not sure. "It's good to meet you," he adds, quietly, letting go of Remus' hand. He returns to his seat and reaches for the book that he picked from the bookcase earlier. He opens it and hides behind it. Why was that so hard?

"Okay," James says, his voice a little strained. "Everyone has met. Great. Should we… hang out upstairs, or…"

"Sweetheart, Sirius' room is not ready until tomorrow," Dorea says. "Why don't you all go out into the garden?" Sirius stays behind his book, and a minute later, they all leave and she takes a seat next to Sirius.

"Dear, are you okay? I think perhaps Remus found that a bit abrupt, so should we talk about it?"

"He's very… beautiful," Sirius admits, moving the book and setting it down. "But… Charlus said it's fine if I like guys."

"It's fine, honey," Dorea tells him. "What happened? What upset you?"

"Well, I tried to talk to him like the guys at school talk to me, but… I don't know if I should or not. They'd ignore me after so... Also, I didn't really know what to say next. Charlus said not to rush things and I'm very confused on… how to handle this situation. If it's even okay."

"Remus is a nice boy, and he's never dated before. My advice, my darling, is be friends with him. Once you're friends, you'll know his likes and dislikes, his interests, things that matter to him. Go outside and tell them some things that you like."

"I don't… I don't like anything," Sirius mutters.

"Then listen to the others and learn their likes. It's going to take time for this all to work out, my sweetheart. But it will. We will learn what you like, and then you can tell Remus all about you. But for now, you can be a good listener and get to know him. I'm sure Remus will appreciate it."

"What… what are the rules about going into the garden?" Sirius asks quietly.

"The rule is to go outside and enjoy yourself," Dorea tells him with a smile. "I'll make up some drinks and bring them out."

Sirius stares at her, unsure if she's being honest. But he has to remind himself that Dorea was always like this.

"Thank you, but I'll do the drinks," he says. Another way to be useful and earn his place here.

"Of course," Dorea replies. "I'll show you where everything is." She leads him to the kitchen and does just that. Sirius pours out four glasses of lemonade and he hesitates once more.

"Is love at first sight real?" he asks nervously.

Dorea's smile widens. "No one can tell you how you feel my dear," she says. "Only you know."

Sirius nods, but that's not helpful unfortunately. He doesn't say that though. He just heads outside with the drinks. He sets it down and sidles up to Remus. Peter and James are kicking a football up and down the garden.

"I'm sorry if that was rude. I wasn't sure what to say and I panicked," he explains.

Remus beams beautifully at him. "It's okay. I wasn't quite sure what to say either. James said that you're staying here now. So… you're from London? What's London like?"

"Horrible." Sirius feels the usual sick feeling and panic at the mere mention of London. He wraps his arms around himself, but is aware that Remus is still looking. He resists running inside and hiding away. "Tell me about Wales instead." Sirius' voice shakes. "What's it like around here? What's school like? I like your rainbow bands. Should I get one too?"

Remus' smile widens. "It's quiet, but nice here," he replies. "School is… well, I guess most schools are the same. Here. You can have one if you like."

"But do you wear these to school or do you keep everything a secret?" Sirius asks. He watches as Remus takes one of the bands of his wrist and hands it over. Sirius rushes to put it on. A gift. He rarely got gifts. Remus just gave him one of his own belongings without even thinking about it, and Sirius wishes he had something to give Remus in return.

"I… I don't address it in school, but also, I don't hide it." He shifts a little in his chair. "You're cute too, you know. You probably do know. It'd be nice to hang out sometime."

"Just us?" Sirius asks softly. When Remus nods, Sirius can't help but smile. "Yeah. I'd like that. So… what things do you like? Tell me everything about yourself."

"Sirius, why don't you ever do anything fun?" James asks, frowning. "You just tidy up and sit around and stuff. Remus and Peter wanna hang out, and you're in here."

"I just need to sort this washing up out," Sirius insists, running the water into the sink. "Can we talk after?"

"See, this is what I mean," James complains. "Mum said you don't have to do that. But you're always tidying. You don't wanna hang out, ever. I have to force you to hang out."

Sirius shrugs his shoulders. He clenches the sponge in his hand and frowns, but he focuses.

"It's like you don't even want to be friends," James pushes. "You pay Remus enough attention. But when I wanna hang out, you're sorting out the bookcase, or wiping the table or doing the laundry. You were gardening yesterday and you picked mum sunflowers. It's like you don't even want to be my friend. Why are you being like this?" He gestures to the vase with two sunflowers that's in the middle of the dining table. Sirius had been so proud of himself when Dorea had put them there. His own mother only put the most special flowers on the table. So if Dorea was doing that with his sunflowers, it meant that they were special.

"Of course I want to be your friend," Sirius snaps, spinning around. "But I have to do these things. You don't understand, why would you? Your family actually want you. Your family love you, and I'm just a fucking stranger who is hoping to earn a fucking place here."

James' eyes widen because Sirius hasn't raised his voice even once, but Sirius can't stop himself now. It's like the dam has burst. Over the three weeks - as the holiday comes to the end and they're approaching school starting up, Sirius has been feeling more and more pressure. He's terrified.

"I've got to garden and do the washing and hoover and everything else. Because then I'm useful. Your parents might let me stay if I'm useful. They don't want a burden, and I'm trying to stop them seeing me as that, even though it's what I am. I'm here only because no-one else wanted me. My parents didn't want me, my aunts and uncles and cousins didn't want me. But your parents are kind. But they're foster parents. It means that at some point, I'll be gone from here. When I'm too much of a problem or too big of a burden."

"Mate, you're not a burden," James starts.

"Really? Because my parents like to tell me very different. They really didn't like having a disgusting gay son, but I was a burden long before they found out about that. I've got to earn a place here, James. So I'm sorry if I can't dedicate all of my time to you, even though I'd love nothing more than to sit down and watch these shows you keep talking about, or go to the park with you and your friends, or do other stuff. But I'm trying to be perfect like you rather than be disappointing or disgusting like my parents told me I am."

Tears fall down his cheeks at the words and he's shaking again. He wraps his arms around himself, the wet sponge leading down his sleeve.

"As for Remus, I really like him and I want to… to go on a date, or something. Or for him to be my boyfriend, because I've not been allowed one before. But your dad said not to rush to do stuff with people and I'm struggling to work out what exactly that rule is. But I think it means I can't date anyone. I just don't understand the rules here. They make no sense. I don't know what I'm supposed to do or what I'm not allowed to do. Why don't they even punish me when I do something wrong?" It's all rushing out and he can't get a grip on the words.

"Sirius Black, you stop that right now." The tone is firm, and the panic increases ten-fold but Sirius knows an order when he hears one and somehow he manages to contain the rest of what he was about to say. He can't stop himself from shaking.

Sirius drops the sponge to the floor, not realising that water had been dripping from his hands when he spun around. "I'm sorry, I made a mess," he says, his voice breaking. "I'll wipe it up. It'll be tidy." His voice is verging on panic now. "I'm sorry." He can't breathe. He's pretty sure he was shouting. He reaches up and wipes at his face with his sleeve, before looking around for a cloth to wipe up the wet.

"James, washing up," Dorea says. "Sirius, have a drink of water and let's have a sit down on the sofa."

Sirius does as he's told. His hands are shaking now. When James passes him, James puts a hand on his arm for a moment, an apologetic look on his face.

Sirius sits on the sofa. He pulls his feet up, his knees against his chest and he wraps his arms around his legs. This is when the Potters tell him he has to leave, he's sure of it.

Remus takes the seat next to him. Sirius is surprised when Remus' arm wraps around his shoulders, and Remus gently pulls him closer. He leans sideways, resting against Remus, and another arm wraps around him. Remus is hugging him. Is this even allowed? Is this breaking another rule?

Oh well. He's already fucked up. He keeps his face buried against Remus' chest and Remus brings fingers up and strokes his hair. He likes this.

He can hear Dorea and Charlus whispering with James a couple of minutes later, before the pair come into the room and sit down. Sirius can't let go of his panic, and he tries to reign it all in and go back to being what he was earlier, but he can't seem to get his breathing regular. He can't seem to calm down properly. He's sure that his panic has started to permeate around the room.

"Should we go into the garden?" Peter asks. "Remus?"

Remus goes to move, but Sirius clings to him a little harder.

"I… I should…" Peter excuses himself to give the family a bit of space.

"Sirius, would you feel more comfortable if Remus stayed?"

Sirius nods a little. "If Remus is okay with staying," he whispers.

"Yeah. I'll stay." His arms tighten a little more and Sirius shifts slightly, getting more comfortable. He likes this. He wants to stay like this. He's never been hugged like this before.

"Sirius, with your… past in London, we - to be honest - have no idea what we need to do to help you," Dorea starts. "It's very complicated, and we've been reading online for advice and we've called social services a few times. We want to support you as best we can. We didn't fill James in on what you've gone through, because we felt it wasn't our place to tell him about it. But perhaps that's a discussion we all should have had when you moved in. That's our fault though, not yours."

"We were trying to do things situation by situation," Charlus adds. "But I think it's become clear that it's not the way to do it. We thought that minimum rules would be easier for you, with your very… restrictive life before here."

"But that's just left you really lost, hasn't it?" Dorea says. "We should have set rules and then eased backwards from them so at least you could… transition a little better." She lets out a soft sigh. "We're your foster parents, but that's what social services thought best to start with. To make sure that you were happy with us. It was never a case of us giving you up. We're not going to give you up, Sirius."

"We should have talked to you about this. Neither me or Dorea knew that this was something playing on your mind. We did know something was up because you're been doing a lot of cleaning and organising, but we thought you were at a loss on what to do with your free time, and were just looking for a distraction. But from now on, we're going to set clearer rules."

"We're going to set up a chores chart," Dorea says. "It'll be your responsibilities each week. James' too. We expect you to do what is set, but not do anything else. We're also going to try and find you some clubs to participate in, some activities to enjoy. We didn't do it yet because we feared it would only overwhelm you."

"As for the conversation in my office a few weeks back, I didn't set rules for dating because there aren't really any," Charlus tells him. "I can give advice, and we can support you, but I didn't set any rules. But I can outline things clearer for you if you need me to."

Sirius gives a little nod.

"You're allowed to date. You're allowed to have a boyfriend. But… I don't want you rushing anything else other than kissing. You're fifteen, Sirius. But… if things go beyond that, you're to come and talk to me and Dorea. I think… if you're dating Remus, he's sensible and he won't rush things, so we'll put our trust in him. He won't take advantage."

"Because you said I'm vulnerable?" Sirius whispers, hating the word.

"You've been through a traumatic life," Dorea tells him softly. "With the… the neglect, others in that situation would seek comfort and it could go very badly. It may not be the case with you, but that's not a risk that we can take. We want to make sure you're fine, my sweetheart. We don't want you to get hurt."

"Will you… be getting me to leave?" Sirius asks.

"We won't ask you to leave," Dorea promises, moving closer. "Sirius, in mine and Charlus' eyes, this fostering will lead to adoption. This was always permanent for us. We just wanted to make sure that you were happy here, and that you wanted that too. You've always been like a son to us, and we've always been proud of you. I'm just sorry that we haven't been as good at this as we hoped to be. You need to learn that we're not like your old family, that we're not cruel and hateful. That we're here for you. But we need to learn that you need structure and rules and reassurance. We're going to try our best for you, but if you have any doubts or are unsure, you need to come and talk to us. Tell us, otherwise we might not realise that you're upset."

"We didn't take you in because no-one else would," Charlus adds. "It's why Social Services came to us, but it's not the reason on our end. Even if we were the first people they came to, we'd still have said yes. We want you here, Sirius. You matter to us."

"I matter to you?" Sirius whispers.

"Sirius, mum told me to make sure that you feel included. I thought… you didn't like me anymore," James admits. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Or be jealous of Remus. I thought that… I was trying really hard and just thought that you weren't interested and I got frustrated and I'm really sorry. I'm going to do better too. I think I just expected you to be the old Sirius straight away, and I know that you need time. But you're still my best friend."

Sirius can't help but smile. He lifts his head slightly, but shifts closer to Remus. He feels safe with Remus.

"I'm your best friend?"

"Yup. You've always been my best friend," James insists. "And of course we're going to fight sometimes. That's what brothers do. We're brothers now, okay?"

Sirius nods his head. He likes the sound of that.

"But… they didn't tell me why you ended up coming here. I didn't know, and I'm really sorry. I mean, we can find things you like to do and… we'll get to know each other again. You can keep staying in my room for a bit if you like too. We can do sleepovers with Remus and Peter. Or just the two of us, like the old days."

"Now. we can talk more later. We can talk anytime you want, actually," Dorea says. "But how about I make some popcorn and you boys watch some television? You look very comfortable there."

Sirius glances shyly at Remus. "Can we stay like this?" he asks.

"Yeah. I'd… I'd like that. Also you said something about me being your boyfriend earlier. I mean… that sounds like… something I'd like too. If you want." Remus' cheeks are red as he stumbles over his words. "But you've got my number and you can call me if you're ever upset and we can hang out or go for a walk or something. Or you can come over to my house. My mum won't mind."

Sirius nods. "You're cute, I'd like that a lot." He snuggles against Remus once more, relaxing into the embrace, and he hears everyone leaving the room. James comes back a minute later with Peter, and the tv is switched on and he can hear James and Peter arguing about what film to put on.

Sirius doesn't care what they watch. He just knows that this time, he'll be able to talk about the film rather than being left out of that conversation. But even more importantly, he gets to watch it with his boyfriend, Remus.

Sirius and James come back from their first day at school. Well, first day back for James, but first day for Sirius. He's not a fan of the uniforms, but he doesn't complain. Remus, Peter and James are all in the same class as him, and that means he gets to sit with them.

He's still getting used to Peter, though Peter is tidier in his uniform, and he's starting to like the other boy. He's getting along better with James now, and he even got to hold hands with Remus in the corridor at school. Plus, Remus kissed him between classes and Sirius is still riding that high of his first kiss with Remus. They've been dating for a week now, and it's about time he's gotten a kiss. Though he is mindful of what Charlus said about rushing the relationship.

But there was something about being back at school with James that helped. He didn't have to think about navigating his home life and the rules, and when he got a bit loud in class, Remus just rested a hand on his and smiled, and Sirius remembered to calm down.

And when one of the boys in school approached him - Remus' ex-boyfriend no less - he was surprised (and delighted) when the other three told the boy to back off, and Remus took his hand in his in front of everyone, because Remus isn't ashamed of their relationship. Remus is proud of it. Remus is open about what they are, and that's had Sirius smiling all day. People are proud of him and he's not really sure what he's done to deserve this, but it's going so well. He already knows he's going to marry Remus in a few years, and there's something so right about the way Remus' arms wrap around him. He's never felt that before, and he knows that nothing else will ever compare.

He freezes in the doorway as he sees Caroline sitting in the living room, and his eyes move around between the Potters and the social worker. His mind wants him to jump to conclusions such as the Potters getting rid of him, but he tries to fight that initial thought.

"Sirius, dear, good news. Your social worker is here with the adoption papers," Dorea quickly tells him, as though reading his panic. "Once these are all signed, you'll be a Potter."

Sirius moves into the room, aware of James following. "How quickly can we sign these?" he asks, looking between the adults. "Because I can't wait to call Remus and tell him the good news."

"Do you want to sit with us as we do them?" Charlus checks. "Then we'll go out for dinner to celebrate." He glances at the papers. "We'll legally be your parents. You're welcome to call us Mum and Dad if you want to, or Uncle Charlus and Aunt Dorea, if that's better.

Sirius nods his head. He sits on the end of the sofa and listens as everything is explained, and he watches as his new parents both sign the forms. He whispers the words to himself. Mum and Dad. That's what he's going to call them, he decides. Not just because he thinks it'll make Dorea and Charlus happy. But because it'll make him happy too. And… he deserves to be happy. That's what they all tell him.

Sirius trusts Charlus and Dorea. He trusts James, Peter and Remus, and he trusts his social worker because she took him away from his former parents and brought him to amazing ones, and she calls him weekly on the phone to see how he is.

If all of these people say he deserves to be happy, he has to trust them on that matter too.

He smiles as the paperwork is complete and Caroline starts storing it away. They want him to stay here, they're choosing for him to be their son. He has a family that actually want him. He's never been happier.

8439 words

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Artist Appreciation - 21. (word) complicated - BONUS

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