Chapter Notes

Hi... and welcome to the next instalment of Bring Me To Life, I hope you all like it! :-)

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Bring Me to Life - Chapter 8

Hermione landed at Azkaban's apparition spot and gasped as an enormous gust of wind almost blew her straight off of her feet.

The grey triangular fortress of the prison split through the thunderous dark sky like a spear. The North Sea raged with a frenzy of violent waves and freezing cold spray, the wind howled, and the rain blew in horizontally across the hostile, rocky island. It seemed that the pictures Hermione had seen of Azkaban and the descriptions other people had given her had done nothing to prepare her for the real thing.

The island itself was a desolate expanse of barren rocks, and its atmosphere was so foreboding that she instinctively reached out with both hands, groping blindly for the comfort of Harry and instead ending up with a handful of Draco's Auror robes and Blaise's winter coat.

She stared up at the prison and gave a whole body shudder. Harry shifted beside her as she released Blaise and took the hand he offered instead. Harry pulled her forwards to follow the others away from a particularly large wave and its accompanying shower of spray before they ended up soaked from head to foot.

Draco stumbled as he moved, looking just as affected as Hermione felt. He took her other hand and laced their fingers together as they all stared at the formidable building for a moment longer. "You alright, mate?" Blaise asked, and Draco sucked a pained breath in through his teeth.

"Not really," he admitted quietly. "Every time I think I'm over being affected by this place, I come back here, and it proves me wrong. I'll be fine, I've done this before, and I imagine I'll do it again. Come on then, let's get today over and done with."

Hermione took the rucksack with the undetectable extension charm off of her shoulders and put it on the ground to unpack before they reached the prison's secrecy detectors. Draco had stared at her incredulously as she had packed everything they needed into the little bag, reminding her that using an illegal charm so close to the prison was asking for trouble. In the warm safety of Grimmauld Place, it had been easy to brush his fears aside. Now she didn't want to take any chances with it at all.

They had brought a minimal selection of recording equipment with them, handpicking the gauges and monitors that had proved to be the most useful at Grimmauld, and not bothering to bring anything that measured dark energy because they knew the background readings would be off the scale and therefore any data gathered from them would prove useless. The prisoners' magical signatures alone would send the dark magic detectors into meltdown mode, and that was without taking the residual darkness left from the long departed Dementors into account.

Hermione winced as yet another wave crashed loudly onto the rocks behind them. Was it her imagination that made every gust of wind sound like a scream of desperation, or was it actually an inhabitant of the prison that was making the ghostly noises? "You do know who's still imprisoned in here, right Granger?" Draco breathed as he picked up as many devices as he could comfortably carry.

She nodded, they had gone over the prison's floorplan early that morning, but she had mostly glossed over the names of the Death Eaters still housed within Azkaban's walls.

It didn't help that the floor they needed to investigate held the prisoners that terrified her the most. Hermione had always avoided thinking too much about Sirius' years in Azkaban. The mere thought of him spending so many years in the Godforsaken hellhole in front of her, particularly when Dementors still guarded it was just too awful for her to linger on for long.

Since she had seen the prison's historical floorplan that morning, though, Hermione had been unable to stop thinking about the time Sirius had served. She now knew that he had been housed at the very top of the prison, along with the most notorious and high profile murderers, and that his neighbors had included Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange, Rabastan Lestrange, Barty Crouch Junior, Antonin Dolohov, Torquil Travers, and Hephaestus Mulciber. She shuddered, just imagining spending twelve years with only those people for company.

The current inhabitants of the top floor appeared to be relatively unchanged from all those years ago. It seemed that many of the escaped Death Eaters had simply been returned to their former cells after their recapture, although Sirius' old cell had a new inhabitant. According to the present day prison map, this was now Thoronus Nott, Theo's father.

Harry pushed the button on the keypad beside Azkaban's cast iron front door, and a cool female voice asked for their identification badges and wands.

Draco hesitated as he placed his into the metal chute and Harry closed his free hand on his arm to offer him support. Hermione smiled as Draco handed the things he was carrying to Blaise and put his own hand over Harry's, squeezing his fingers gently and waiting patiently until he could collect his belongings once more.

The atmosphere inside the prison was no less terrifying than the atmosphere outside. As Aurors, Harry and Darco didn't need a prison escort, they were allowed to roam freely in the prison as long as they respected its rules and checkpoints.

Harry led the way to the lifts, and Hermione looked around curiously. The inside of the corridors was bare, grey stone, the whole place was dark and dimly lit with flaming torches, and it was barely any warmer inside than it was out. The inside walls and ceilings were damp with sea spray, and Hermione shivered. It was more than just the weather chilling her to the very bone in here. The whole building had evil and despair etched deeply into the very fabric of its being.

"You're shaking," Blaise said, and she nodded, not even attempting to steady herself. Harry was gripping his wand tightly, and Draco was still holding his other hand, not looking at all his usual cool and confident self.

"Hermione," Draco said, pulling them all to a halt in an alcove carved into the freezing cold corridor, "I know I made a promise to you about not hiding my feelings or using Occlumency around you, but I'm going to have to use it in here. I can't not. It will affect me too deeply otherwise. You need to know that I'm not intentionally blocking you out. It's this place and its effects that I want to minimize." He waved an arm vaguely around at their surroundings, "it's the memory of being in here myself that I struggle with the most. It's a difficult place for me to come back to, I'm afraid."

Hermione nodded. She understood why Draco needed to protect himself in such a way, but that didn't mean she liked it. "It's okay, I understand." She stretched up on tip-toe and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. "Just let me in again afterward, please?"

He nodded. "I will. I promise."

"Thank you," she whispered, kissing him again. "I don't like it here either. It's creeping me out already, and I've not had the experience you've had. I can only imagine how you must feel. Do what you need to do, Draco, it's okay." He nodded, and she watched in fascination as his face blanked, his eyes cleared, and he gradually shrank back to the highly guarded boy that she had known in school.

Trying not to feel too disconcerted by the abrupt change in Draco's personality, Hermione shifted the monitor she was carrying and took the hand that Harry offered before following a newly confident Draco and Blaise along the corridor and into the lift. They rose smoothly and silently upwards for a full minute. When the doors opened at the very top floor, they stepped out into another identical grey and icy cold corridor and looked around.

Cells lined both sides of the walkway, each one divided from its neighboring cells by a brick wall, solid save for a few inches of metal bars at the very top. The front of each cell was made of sturdy metal bars affording Hermione a clear view of each and every inmate.

Draco sauntered off down the corridor with Blaise. Both of them walked easily, Blaise seemed unaffected by his surroundings, and Draco was now clearly blocking the horrors of his memory out with strong mind magic.

Harry paused, waiting out of sight of the prisoners until Hermione was ready. She counted her breaths in and out, purposely breathing slowly, the way her mind healer had taught her. She'd thought she was ready, Merlin, she had tried her best to prepare herself for the people she was going to see, but her fragile resolve crumbled to dust the moment she saw several of the men who had tried to kill her in the past. "Keep breathing," Harry whispered as a reedy male voice called his name.

"Harry Potter! What you doing up here, eh? Come for a little visit to us, have you? Decided it's about time to come and play on the dark side, have you?"

"Been there, done that Lestrange," Draco said, running a finger menacingly down his wand as Harry ignored the bearded Death Eater. "Decided it was more fun to play on the side of the light. There's more freedom that way, you see? Tsk," he tutted as Rodolphus Lestrange swore at his deliberate taunt. "Behave yourself now, Uncle, or I'll make you."

Rodolphus just threw his head back and laughed. Draco rolled his eyes and continued on down the line of cells. Harry went to tug Hermione forwards, but she couldn't move. Her feet were rooted to the spot as she stared in horror at a pair of dark brown eyes that were staring just as intently back at her. The curve of the man's lips was tiny, almost nonexistent, but it had done what he had intended it to do. She was frozen once more under his power, and he knew it.

"Auror Malfoy," Harry called in an authoritative tone. "We appear to have left something behind." Harry propelled Hermione back into the lift as Draco and Blaise turned back. The lift doors closed behind them, and Hermione dropped to her knees in distress. Harry took one of her hands in his and motioned for Draco to take the other. He ran through her sensory checklist, and when she was grounded and feeling a little stronger, she stood back upright again.

She squared her shoulders and popped a chewing gum into her mouth for something to focus on. She wrapped her identity badge cord around her wrist and twisted her fingers into it before picking up the monitor again. "Right. I'm good," she said eventually. "Sorry about that, Dolohov threw me. I haven't seen him since, well, since his trial, and every time I'd seen him before then, he was trying to kill me rather violently. Let's go." Draco nodded and led the way back out of the lift and down the prisoners' corridor once more.

Hermione focused on the taste of the mint in her mouth, and with every step she took, she twisted the cord on her wrist until it bit uncomfortably into her skin. She was aware that this was one of her less healthy coping mechanisms, but it grounded her and focused her mind, and so for now, it would have to do.

She managed to ignore the delighted catcalls of the prisoners and the unnerving way that Dolohov just stared directly at her as he tracked her progress down the corridor.

Finally, they reached the cell that was marked on the map as previously belonging to Sirius. Thoronus Nott had been moved somewhere else for the duration of their investigation. Still, Hermione was rather startled to see the prisoner next door, Travers, standing on something in his cell to peer at her through the bars at the top of his adjoining cell wall. He was using a similarly cold, unflinching stare to Dolohov's, and Hermione shivered. This time she only faltered for a moment, though before she turned away and resumed setting up the magical signature detector.

"Get down and stop staring at her, Travers," Harry threatened, but Travers just laughed. "Unless you want to lose an eye, that is," Harry added menacingly, and the old Death Eater stood down from his perch grumbling heatedly about overconfident Aurors who needed to watch their step.

Sirius' old cell was neat, clean, and tidy, but Hermione was shocked at how tiny it was. She paced, first one way and then the other while she waited for the readings to come in. She sighed, wondering not for the first time how Sirius had managed to keep his sanity living in such an inconceivable small space with such unpleasant neighbors for so long.

She made to pull the door closed to check the readings in every corner, but she saw Draco tense, and Harry shake his head. She hastily pushed it wide open again, feeling aghast. "Sorry," Draco muttered, his face still unnaturally blank, "I can't, memories again, you know?" She nodded and joined Blaise in setting up the recording equipment on the other side of the open door, keen to get the information they wanted and then to get out of Azkaban as soon as they possibly could.

Apart from the strangely low energy vibrations that Blaise assured them was present all over the prison island and was due to the historical presence of the Dementors, all of the readings they collected were normal.

There was one corner of the cell that showed a slight glimmer of Sirius's residual energy. Hermione checked the map and saw that this was where his bed would have been. They also picked up a very faint trace of his energy against the wall that adjoined Rabastan Lestrange's cell, and Hermione wondered if the two men had grown to be something like companions. She couldn't imagine them having much in common, but twelve years with nobody at all to talk to was unthinkable. Since Sirius' alternative neighbor had been Barty Crouch Junior, who was as mad and fanatical a supporter of Voldemort as it was possible to be, she figured that Rabastan would be the lesser of the two evils for Sirius to befriend.

It only took about twenty more minutes for them to finish measuring for readings in the cell and to pack their equipment away.

Hermione had never been so keen to apparate away from somewhere in all of her life. As she spun on the spot in the gusting wind and incessant sea spray, her eyes caught a last glimpse of Azkaban's imposing grey fortress, and she swore never to see the place in person again if she could help it.

They landed in the relative warmth of London, at the apparition point of the Ministry, but Blaise took one look at Draco and shook his head. "Go home, mate," he said kindly. "Take the afternoon off and recover. You know Azkaban takes it out of you, and there's nothing here I desperately need you for. You too, Hermione, you looked uncomfortable as hell in there too. I'll transcribe the readings and go home myself. We can carry on the investigation tomorrow. Oh, and come to Pansy's for dinner tonight, it's Tuesday, and apparently, that's her new dinner party night. She's cooking and, well, you all look like you all need cheering up a bit."

Touched by his kindness, Hermione rose up onto tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "Thank you," she said, eyeing Draco with concern. His face was still pale and unnaturally blank, and his eyes were glazed over. He simply nodded his agreement, took Harry's hand in one of his own and Hermione's in the other, and she felt the pull of his side along apparition before she was ready. She focused her mind hard on staying beside him and not getting accidentally splinched and opened her eyes as they landed heavily in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place.

Draco pulled her into his arms and held on to her, nestling his face into her hair and breathing in her scent as if to calm himself as he leaned heavily against her. "Would you like to try using my checklist?" she asked, feeling him nod against her shoulder, and she talked him through it until they got to the taste section .

"This is where you kiss me," she whispered, and he did so, then pulled back, looking deeply into her eyes. She swore she saw his shields drop as he gazed at her. It was like watching walls tumble down, Draco's pupils that had been constricted to mere pinpricks by his Occlumency suddenly widened, and his breathing shook as Hermione saw an internal war play out within the stormy grey of his eyes.

"You're safe with us," she whispered as his pupils contracted again. "You can let your shield down here. You're home." He nodded and closed his eyes. "We'll not hurt you Draco, you can be vulnerable here with us."

Hermione closed her eyes and was shocked to be confronted with a sudden and robust image of Lucius Malfoy snarling furiously at his teenage son. "Malfoy's do not show weakness, boy," Lucius growled. "Now grow up and stop being so pathetic."

"Malfoy's can show their emotions however they choose to Draco," Hermione murmured fiercely, not having a clue what was going on. Draco was still looking at her with what appeared to be fear in his eyes. "As can everyone. It takes great strength to show vulnerability. It's certainly not being weak to show fear." She flinched as she caught another image of Lucius shouting and brandishing his cane, berating Draco for some other perceived personality flaw, and she reached out to brush his cheek gently with her hand.

"It's projective Legilimency," Harry whispered and she nodded, finally understanding what was going on. "Assuming you're seeing images from his memory, that is?" Hermione nodded, and Harry touched Draco's arm. "He does this when he's unsettled. Draco, love, it's Hermione and me here. Your father's nowhere near us. He's under house arrest still. You're safe to let your shields fall. You're safe with us."

Draco gave a considerable shudder and jumped back from Hermione as if he'd been burnt. "Fuck!" He muttered, "sorry, love! You…. Jesus, you didn't need to see that!"

"Hey!" Hermione said, feeling somewhat offended by his reaction, "It's alright, I don't know what happened but-"

"My shields got stuck," he confessed and grimaced. "If I pull them up that hard, so hard that they block everything else out, it's hard to let them down again. What did you see?"

"I saw your Father, telling you not to show weakness."

"Delightful man, isn't he? I only get stuck like that if I'm around my father, if I go to Azkaban or try to say the Dark Lord's name. Apparently, I still have a few demons left over from the war myself."

"Well, you'll never be judged for them by us, the same way that neither you nor Harry have ever judged mine. And in answer to your question about your father? I never liked him very much either," Hermione admitted, and Draco laughed, long and loud, and finally, the tension of the day was broken.

"Fuck!" Draco exclaimed again, running his fingers through his hair and accepting the glass of firewhisky Harry passed him. "Thanks." He downed it in one with barely a flinch, and Harry poured him another without saying a word. "Fucking Azkaban, bloody Lucius, what a crappy, buggeringly shitty day!"

Hermione laughed at his creative swearing and sagged down into a chair herself. She accepted a glass of firewhisky from Harry and sipped it, feeling the liquid burn in her mouth and throat as its familiar warmth grounded her further. "I'm not going to swear quite that much, but Dolohov creeped me out this afternoon. And Travers, what the hell was he standing on to stare at me over the cell wall like that?"

"Merlin knows!" Draco shook his head. "Dolohov's a creepy fucker at the best of times though, don't let either of them get to you, love. Come on, Harry, let's all go to bed. Hermione's just told me it's okay to be vulnerable with you both. Do you still want to have your wicked way with me?"

Hermione laughed at Harry's astounded expression. His eyes bugged wide, and he cleared his throat, "uh…. Yeah, that would be…. Let's just say yes to that offer, shall we?!"

"Now's your chance then. You too, Granger, let's take all our minds off that Godforsaken bloody prison for a bit before we go to Pansy's, shall we?"