Nighttime in Manhatten.
A group of assassins jumps from roof to roof and land near Avengers Tower. The lead assassin jams a device into the side of the building and it shoots a zipline at the tower. When the assassins get to the tower, the lead assassin types in a code to enter and they silently roam through the halls.
-Falcon: This new wing will increase my velocity by 30%?
-Iron Man: Of course it will. I invented it.
In the kitchen, Hulk makes a P.B sandwich while Thor makes coffee. Hulk opens the fridge and growls.
-Thor: What is it?
-Hulk: Some dead man took all the peanut butter.
-Thor: What care I for the butter of peanuts.
Cap is vigorously punching a punching bag in the gym while Cerise is practicing her combat skills blindfolded and while Hawkeye is eating a jar of peanut butter. The assassins sneak in behind Cap.
-Lead assassin: Take him.
-Hawkeye: A little late for the cleaning crew, ain't it? Cap, heads up!
Cap, Hawkeye, and Cerise start fighting the assassins. Hawkeye shoots an arrow at the lead assassin, but she dodges.
-Lead assassin: Missed.
-Hawkeye: I never miss.
The arrow hits an alarm button. Hulk and Thor burst through the wall, and Iron Man and Falcon come in through the door.
-Hulk: You rang?
-Iron Man: You know Hulk when I built this place, I designed it with doors.
Hulk glares at Tony.
-Iron Man: You're right. Doors are so overrated.
Falcon scans the assassins.
-Falcon: They don't have any heat signatures and no pulses.
Cap grabs one of the assassins and rips off his mask.
-Cap: It can't be.
The assassin is revealed to be a demon. Hulk tries to punch another assassin, but he flys over Hulk's fist.
-Hulk: They ain't puny humans.
-Cap: Iron Man, the tower has U.V light frequencies, right?
-Iron Man: Yeah, but...
-Cap: Fire them up!
-Iron Man: Ok, weird, but ok.
Tony turns on the U.V lights and the assassins disappear while the lead assassin is left behind screaming in pain.
-Hawkeye: What just happened?
-Cap: Vampires.
-Cerise: Vampires?
-Hawkeye: You gotta be kidding me.
Cap approaches the lead assassin. He removes the hood and sees Black Widow with pale skin, red eyes, and fangs.
-Cap: Black Widow?
Widow cringes in pain mouth agape.
-Voice: Good evening, Captain America. It has been a long time. I send this female with a message. I offer you her in exchange... for yours.
Widow gasps and passes out.
-Iron Man: Tell me Widow has a creepy voice power that I never knew about.
-Cap: That was Dracula.
-Cerise: Dracula? As in "The king of all vampires" Dracula?
-Cap: The one and only. And it looks like he got to Widow.
-Falcon: Black Widow is a vampire?
-Cap: Not yet. She's still in the early stages. Dracula's hold on her isn't complete. She's gonna get worse, way worse, but we still have a chance to save her if we act quickly.
-Hawkeye: Look, maybe I'll buy that there are such things as vampires. Big maybe, but Count Dracula? Come on. We're talking about the "I vant to drink your blood" guy, right?
-Cap: Not Count, just Dracula. He finds Count insulting since he's the king of the vampire nation.
-Hawkeye: Well great. Let me know when Frankenstein's monster and the Wolfman show up.
-Thor: Don't mock. There is often truth in myth. Wasn't I a myth when you met me?
-Iron Man: But Hawkeye has a point. Thor, your powers seem like magic to people on Earth, but it's simply Asgardian science. There must be some kind of scientific explanation for these so-called vampires.
Suddenly, Widow wakes up and starts attacking the Avengers. As she climbs onto Hulk's shoulder, Thor throws his hammer at her, but she dodges as it hits Hulk in the face and she flips on it.
-Thor: Odin's beard! Mjolnir, to me!
Widow jumps off the hammer and Falcon and Iron Man out of her way to escape the gym.
-Iron Man: She fighting at a whole new level. It's like she's a...
Widow runs down the hall and crashes into a mirror wall.
-Cap: A vampire, like I said.
-Falcon: Why did she run into a mirror?
Cerise levitates a mirror shard over Widow to show her fading reflection.
-Cerise: Vampires don't have reflections in mirrors.
-Falcon: Just like in the movies.
The team goes to the lab to scan Widow.
-Falcon: Okay, I used her biometrics to get into her personal SHIELD file. She was following a lead on Red Skull in... Transylvania?
-Cerise: Transylvania's rumored to be the monster capital of the world. Looks like she ran into Dracula there.
-Cap: That's it. Now, if we're gonna cure Widow, we need to find the vampire who turned her into this and force him to release.
-Iron Man: Not so fast, Cap. If Skull's involved, it could be MODOK's brain-switching machine. Or a form of hypnotism. I just need...
-Cap: Tony, we're wasting time! We need to get to Transylvania now!
-Iron Man: A little faith, Rogers. If there's a way to cure Widow, I can do it here.
-JARVIS: Error, sir.
Tony's scanner starts shorting out.
-Cap: What's your tech telling you now?
-Iron Man: That we should go to Transylvania?
The team takes off in the Aven-jet. Hawkeye is carving wooden stake arrows on their way to Transylvania while Cap places disks in his holsters.
-Falcon: What are you loading up there?
-Cap: silver plated strike disks. Tools to deal with Dracula's troops.
-Falcon: Can't Hulk just smash them?
-Cap: He can knock them down, but they won't stop.
-Hawkeye: Alright, Van Helsing, you want to tell us why you're such an expert on vampires?
-Cap: During the war, Dracula and our country were uneasy allies. HYDRA was trying to invade Transylvania. Dracula was protecting his land. "The enemy of my enemy" sort of thing.
-Thor: But why is he after you now?
-Cap: Dracula is a king. He takes what he wants. I must have something he wants.
-Hawkeye: And you don't know what that is.
-Cap: No, but finding that out is our only chance to save Widow.
-Iron Man: Relax, people. You're all acting like you're in the middle of a horror movie. We just need to break into his castle and find out what Dracula is using on her. Nanotech, maybe. I just can't see it yet.
Tony sees Hawkeye carving arrows.
-Iron Man: Really? Wooden stake arrows?
-Hawkeye: Why not?
-Thor: I am uneasy, Captain. This smells of a trap.
-Cap: No kidding.
-Shadow Maiden: I want to help Widow too, but vampires are hurt by sunlight and I use pure darkness. If you of it, I'm pretty much useless on this mission.
-Cap: Nobody's useless, Cerise. Everyone has a part to play. Yours will come when it needs to.
-Shadow Maiden: I hope so.
In Dracula's castle, he sits in his throne room waiting for the avenger's arrival. Suddenly, a whirlpool of red liquid swirls in front of him showing an image of Red Skull.
-Red Skull: What is the status?
-Dracula: The avengers approach my kingdom. The soldier is with them.
-Red Skull: Just as we predicted. Follow the plan and I promise you will get what was denied to you for thousands of years.
The Aven-jet lands in a graveyard outside of the castle. The team walks cautiously to the entrance.
-Hawkeye: Is it always nighttime here?
-Yes, bowman, my kingdom lives in eternal night.
A darkness swirls around the team as Dracula appears in front of them.
-Dracula: Good evening, avengers. I see you received my... invitation. So, Captain, my offer. Your life for the woman's life. Are you willing to accept?
-Hawkeye: Wow, you need new headshots, Drac. You look nothing like your picture.
-Cap: Don't!
Hawkeye shoots one of the wooden arrows at Dracula, and he disappears.
-Cap: You have no idea what you just started.
-Hawkeye: Or finished.
Dracula then grabs Widow from Hulk's shoulder and then grabs Cerise.
-Shadow Maiden: Hey!
He appears in front of the team while Cerise struggles to get out of his grip.
-Dracula: Because of our history, Captain, I was going to make this as painless as possible. I see now that my mercy is not wanted. Destroy them all.
Dracula, Widow, and Shadow disappear as his vampire minions surround the team.
-Hawkeye: I hate to think I was wasting all of that stake carving time!
Inside an empty room in the castle, Shadow is restrained to a stone throne trying to get out.
-Do not struggle, child.
Dracula appears in front of her.
-Dracula: Only I can release you from your restraints.
-Shadow Maiden: If you think I'm gonna let you drain me like you drained Widow, then you've got another thing coming.
-Dracula: I think not. The Captain's blood is what I crave. Black Widow is merely the bait.
-Shadow Maiden: Then what did you steal me for?
-Dracula: I sense powerful darkness inside you, child. Not only will you be useful in capturing Captain America, but also in destroying those who stand in my way.
-Shadow Maiden: Forget it, pasty! There's no way I'm betraying my team to help you.
Dracula grips Shadow's forehead to keep her eyes open. Dracula's eyes glow red as he stares directly into Shadow's eyes making them glow red.
-Dracula: Therein lies the beauty of my plan, child. You will not have a choice.
She is now under Dracula's control.
-Shadow Maiden: I am at your service, Lord Dracula.
-Dracula: Excellent, because I have an important task for you, my dear.
-Shadow Maiden: Yes, Lord Dracula.
Back outside...
-Iron Man: JARVIS, what am I looking at here?
-JARVIS: It appears that the vampire genetic structure can reconstitute itself. They do not take on damage the same way as you. After careful analysis, sir, it is my conclusion that you are down in Trouble Town.
-Iron Man: Thanks for the color play, JARVIS. Alright, guys, let's hit them with everything we got and a little more. We figure out how to make it permanent later.
The vampires start attacking them.
-Hulk: You overthink, Stark. Just smash!
As the avengers attack the vampires, one of them captures Falcon with a whip.
-Falcon: A whip? You'll have to go higher tech than that.
Falcon slices the whip, but the piece attached to him is moving on its own.
-Falcon: That's not normal.
-Cap: Get to the entrance!
-Hawkeye: Right behind you, Cap.
More vampires show up, and Cap and Hawkeye destroy them with silver disks and wooden arrows.
-Hawkeye: Wooden stake arrows work. I like when Iron Man's wrong.
Meanwhile, Thor destroys a werewolf with his lightning.
-Thor: Come, demons! I could do this all night!
-Iron Man: You may have to. They just keep coming.
Falcon lands next to Tony and shows him the whip piece.
-Falcon: This tech is amazing. It's like it's alive.
-Iron Man: Alive? That's it! Nongenetic bio-drivers. This isn't magic, it's a form of biotech. They use blood to transfer data. Piggybacking program commands through white cells. I just need to hack these sequence codes before Widow and Shadow become full-fledged vampires.
-Cap: I already know how to get them back. Hulk, Thor, cover the entrance. Falcon, Hawkeye, around me. Hulk, make me a hole.
Hulk punches a hole in the wall.
-Hulk: Hole!
Falcon, Hawkeye, and Cap explore the halls.
-Cap: Dracula's chambers are in the north tower.
-Hawkeye: Why there?
-Cap: Furthest from the sun.
-Hawkeye: Was just about to say that.
Suddenly, Falcon hears a voice.
-Falcon, Falcon. Help me, please.
-Falcon: Guys?
-Please, hurry.
Falcon separates from the group to find where the voice is coming from. The voice leads Falcon to the castle's bell tower and he sees Widow standing next to the bell.
-Falcon: Widow? Are you okay?
After a moment of silence, Widow kicks the bell cause Falcon to cover his ears.
-Black Widow: The sonic navigation units the run your armor makes you vulnerable. Great job as an avenger, Wilson.
Cap and Hawkeye show up and Hawkeye aims an arrow at Widow.
-Hawkeye: Back away, Natasha. He may be a noob, but he's our noob.
-Black Widow: Clint? Help me. Dracula's controlling me. I can't stop him.
-Hawkeye: No, fight it.
Hawkeye is electrocuted from behind. He passed out and it is revealed that Shadow was the one who electrocuted him. Dracula walks up behind her.
-Dracula: The Avenger's compassion will always be their weakness.
Dracula grabs Falcon and Hawkeye and flies on top of the bell.
-Dracula: Will more innocents suffer before you give me what I want? What do you say, my captain?
-Cap: Put them down. I'll come with you.
-Dracula: I knew you wouldn't disappoint. (looks to Shadow) As for you, my servant, eliminate the others.
-Shadow Maiden: Yes, master.
Shadow disappears from the tower to carry out her command.
Back outside, Thor, Hulk, and Iron Man are still fighting the vampires.
-Hulk: Vampires are cowards.
-Thor: Indeed. Their strike and retreat tactics lack honor. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
-Hulk: Probably not, blondie. Just smash!
Hulk slams the ground causing tombstones to shoot into the air. Then Thor strikes the vampires with lightning.
-Hulk: Guess lightning works as well as sunlight.
Meanwhile, Tony is fighting a horde of female vampires.
-JARVIS: Sir, the hack codes for Black Widows blood are ready.
-Iron Man: What took you so long?
-JARVIS: I cross-referenced her blood with the other avengers and something alarming came up.
-Iron Man: Define alarming.
Three vampire ladies climb onto Tony.
-Iron Man: Ladies, please.
Tony spins the vampires off of him.
-JARVIS: It concerns Captain America.
-Iron Man: Alright, lay it on me.
Suddenly, Iron Man is hit by a stream of darkness. He then lands near Hulk and Thor.
-Iron Man: (groan) What hit me?
-Hulk: Not what, who.
The hypnotized Shadow Maiden appears and causes spikes to shoot up from the ground around Thor, Hulk, and Iron Man. She then levitates the spikes around her.
-Iron Man: Shadow, what are you doing?
-Shadow Maiden: My master desires Captain America's blood. You will not interfere.
Shadow shoots the spikes at them, but they dodge.
-Iron Man: What's gotten into her?
-Hulk: Dracula must be pulling her strings. We need to snap her out of it.
-Iron Man: I'm on it. An E.M.P blast should do the trick.
Thor flies in front of her.
-Thor: I do not wish to harm you, young maiden, but I will if I must.
Thor shoots lightning at Shadow, but she redirects it to Thor. Hulk grabs her from behind, but she phases through him and blasts him onto Thor. She then levitates Tony and slowly crushes the armor with Tony still inside.
-Iron Man: Shadow, listen to me! Dracula's making you do this! You have to fight it!
-Shadow Maiden: My master commands me. The avengers must be...
Suddenly, a lightning strike hits Shadow from above causing her to crash to the ground.
-Iron Man: Thanks, Thor.
-Thor: I did not like it, but it needed to be done.
Tony shoots the E.M.P blast at Shadow's forehead. She then wakes up feeling like her normal self.
-Shadow Maiden: Guys?
-Iron Man: Welcome back, Shadow.
-Thor: I apologize for my actions, young maiden.
Shadow gets back up and stretches.
-Shadow Maiden: Don't be sorry. Feels like I needed it.
-Hulk: Do you know where Widow is, kid?
-Shadow Maiden: All I remember is Dracula dropping her off in his throne room.
-Thor: Then that is where we must go!
Everyone enters the castle.
-Iron Man: (to Shadow) And you thought you'd be useless on this mission.
Dracula drags Falcon and Hawkeye into the throne room back in the castle while Cap and Widow follow behind.
-Cap: Why are you doing this? We were allies.
-Dracula: I have a new enemy.
-Cap: Okay, we've had common enemies before. The Avengers can...
-Dracula: My enemy is humanity! There are more of you humans every century. My kingdom is threatened. I can no longer hide in the shadows of rumor and myth. I am at war!
-Cap: Release the Widow. Then we'll talk.
-Dracula: (laugh) You are in no position to make demands.
Dracula causes the door to close.
-Dracula: I have recently learned that the super-soldier serum coursing through your veins can cure me of my only weakness.
-Cap: Let me guess.Red Skull. But you were at war with him. How could you?
-Dracula: These are strange times, Captain.
Dracula jumps from his throne and tackles Cap to the ground.
-Cap: You know you can't trust Red Skull.
-Dracula: Of course I can't trust him. That's why I'm using him. With your blood in my veins, I will destroy HYDRA, the Avengers, and anyone who dares to stand in my way.
Dracula is about to bite Cap, but he knocks out one of his fangs with his shield and gets back up. Dracula grabs Cap's shield and hits him back to the ground.
-Dracula: With your blood, Captain, I will walk again in the daylight.
Dracula's fang grows back as he's going to bite Cap again, but Shadow Maiden, Thor, Hulk, and Iron Man burst through the wall.
-Iron Man: Hulk.
-Hulk: Like you need to tell me!
Hulk tackles Dracula through a wall.
-Iron Man: Even Dracula can't handle a Hulk, right?
As Dracula emerges from the hole, his muscles grow, his skin turns green, and a pair of wings growing out on his back.
-Shadow Maiden: That looks bad.
Hulk comes out with glowing red eyes and fangs.
-Iron Man: That looks worse.
-Dracula: Slave, finish the Avengers.
-Hulk: Y-Yes... master.
-Hawkeye: Hey, big guy. I'll replace the peanut butter. (chuckle)
-Thor: That was you?
With his recently acquired vampire strength, Hulk starts attacking the Avengers.
-Thor: Incredible. He is even stronger than before.
While the others are fighting Hulk, Cap checks on Widow.
-Cap: Tony, we're losing her.
-Dracula: Black Widow is the least of your worries, Captain America. Now that I have the power of the Hulk, there is nothing to stop me from drinking your blood.
Dracula flys down and grabs Cap from behind. As he's about to bite Cap's neck, Dracula coughs out green smoke.
-Dracula: What's happening.
-JARVIS: Sir, Hulk's blood is attacking Dracula's blood.
Tony scans Dracula's bloodstream.
-Iron Man: That's it. Gamma rays. Hulk's gamma-energized blood has a similar ionizing property to solar radiation.
-Hawkeye: English, please.
-Falcon: Hulk's blood is kind of like sunlight.
-Hawkeye: Thank you. Is there a plan in there somewhere?
-Shadow Maiden: Yeah, if we make him madder, he'll go back to normal.
Thor's hammer hits Hulk in the face.
-Thor: I am an expert at that. Strike and retreat. He hates it.
The Avengers start attacking and dodging Hulk.
-Hawkeye: You sure about that? Cause I spend a lot of time making sure he doesn't get mad.
-Falcon: If the gamma levels are high enough, they'll burn out the Dracu-cells. I think.
-Iron Man: Good. That's the idea. But it's not enough! Come on, people! We need him angrier! Angrier!
Everyone pours on the attacks on Hulk.
-Cap: This way, you oaf.
Hulk chases after Cap.
-Dracula: Slave, No!
Hulk's rampage causes the rubble from the castle to fall on top of him.
-Falcon: I hope that's angry enough.
-Thor: I hope it's not.
Shadow activates her visor to scan Hulk.
-Shadow Maiden: His blood cells are like millions of tiny suns. They're burning out the vampire infection.
Hulk screams in pain as returns to normal and collapses.
-Falcon: Is he dead?
-Hawkeye: Wait for it.
The team hears Hulk snoring.
-Dracula: He purged himself? That... that's impossible.
-Iron Man: No, that's the Hulk.
As Tony scans Dracula as he returns to his normal state.
-Dracula: I was so close. So close.
-Cap: Release the Widow.
-Dracula: Away from me.
-Iron Man: Let her go, or digesting gamma radiation will be the least painful moment of your day.
Suddenly, the floor cracks open under Dracula, and his minions pull him in.
-Dracula: This is not over! You have won nothing, Avengers! The Widow is mine! She will be mine forever!
-Hawkeye: You're coming with us, Nat. We're gonna save you, right?
-Falcon: Who's gonna wake up Hulk?
-Iron Man: No time for questions.
Later in the Aven-jet, the team gathers around Widow with Tony carrying a syringe containing an antidote for her.
-Iron Man: This is a synthesized version of Hulk's blood. It'll burn out the vampire virus and cure her.
-Hawkeye: No chance she'll, you know, turn green or something?
-Shadow Maiden: Of course not. Right, Tony?
-Iron Man: Right. I mean, probably not, no. Hopefully not. I don't know. Let's find out.
Tony injects the antidote into Widow's vein, and they wait for her to wake up.
Meanwhile, Red Skull walks through the graveyard and approaches a mausoleum, but Dracula's minions block him.
-Let him pass.
The vampires move out of Skull's way. He enters the mausoleum and sees Dracula in a casket healing himself.
-Dracula: Be honored. I show few my moments of weakness.
-Red Skull: Your present state, your highness, is not your fault, but that of the Avengers.
-Dracula: You came to point out my humiliation to those mortals. Be careful, Skull.
-Red Skull: No. I came to offer you a seat on my cabal. A powerful consortium devoted to the thing you also seek.
-Dracula: What, pray tell, do you believe I seek.
-Red Skull: Revenge.
-Dracula: I am listening.
Back on the Aven-jet, the team sees Widow waking up.
-Black Widow: Where am I?
-Hawkeye: Kind of a long story.
-Black Widow: I remember Red Skull and Dracula. He bit... (gasp) Am I a vampire?
Shadow put her hand on Widow's shoulder.
-Shadow Maiden: You got better.
-Black Widow: What is that awful smell?
-Hawkeye: Just in case Stark's tech wasn't as good as he thought it was.
-Black Widow: Do you have a wooden stake ready too, Just in case?
-Hawkeye: (chuckle) What do you take me for?
The end