Chapter 3: When Worlds collide
The outside of Matthiamore's cave is shown amidst flashes of red lights and violent tremors. Gobber comes back in. "Welcome back to HTTYD BC. Looks like thinks have gone from bad to worse for Matthiamore. Let's find out."
Matthiamore ducked as a rock sailed over his head. He was crouching behind his sofa as the robot and Bloodbottler giant were going at it. The robot fired lasers from its satellite while Bloodbottler giant hurled a boulder but missed.
BrizillaKing 1 , meanwhile, was the only one enjoying the pandemonium as he ate popcorn. "This is great," he chuckled to himself.
Matthiamore then noticed the readers are returned and turns hid attention to them. "Oh, you're back", he ducks as another laser whizzes past him, "Let's read some more HTTYD BC while I get this mess over here straightened out.
He then cries out as and ducks down just as a boulder launches over and lands on him. He then comes back up looking dazed.
"Or maybe not."
He then passed out.
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" When we last saw our hungry troglodytes, they had just discovered fire. How long will it take for then to mess it up? Let's see." Gobber narrated.
The scene unfreeze as the cavevikings jumped around on elation. They then run off all in different directions. After seeing what fire did to the food they cooked they became even more compelled to see what else could be cooked.
Astgar found a patch of tall grass and impaled it on her stick and pulled it up, than raced back and roasted it in the flames. It tasted even better then she imagined.
Fishlar makes a kebob out of various vegetation and ran back, after a few seconds of roasting he chowed down.
Tuff came up but didn't have anything to cook, he then twisted his stick around his pelt and tore it off until he was only in his skin. He then roasted his pelt over the fire and ate it. He belched out a scrap , which he caught, wiped his mouth with, then proceeded to eat again.
Hic-Hic ran to a tree with several hanging vines from it. He twirled his stick through the vines like a forkful of noodles. He went back with his collection of vines, held them over the flames and once thet were cooked, inhaled them like spaghetti.
Snotlog picked up a bunch of pebbles from the ground and put them in a frying pan. He then held it where it was over the flames. One by one the pebbles popped into popcorn from the heat which Snotlog happily munched down with gusto.
Ruff lifted up a rock where she found more of the crustaceans that resemble Johann. They scattered away chattering excitably as Ruff licked her lips and drooled over the thought of eating them.
Tuff then got an idea, he drew a circle in the sand and then jabbed the center. When he pulled it up it was in the shape of a burger which he eagerly rushed to hold in the fire.
The six cave dwelling Vikings continued to forage for anything edible they could find and roast it in the flames. Not even caring they were getting full; cooked food was a wondrous new discovery. Eventually they all felt the need to let out some gas and they all let out a loud belch while Snotlog said "Barpa!"
The whole day was spent cooking and eating whatever they could find until eventually they'd eaten so much they couldn't eat anymore and lied down on the ground with bellies bloated to critical mass. It was getting late, so they all stood up for a stretch, yawning , before preparing to bead home.
"Ga naga, Ruff and Tuff. Ga Naga Hic-Hic, Astgar and Fishlar." Said Snotlog.
"Ga naga, Snotlog. Ga naga, Hic-Hic, Astgar and Fishlar." The twins chorused.
"Ga naga, Snotlog. Ga naga, Ruff and Tuff." Hic-Hic, Astgar and Fishlar said in unison.
All the cave Vikings turned to head back to their huts, but then they all stopped dead in their tracks as one as they realized something: the fire. It was still outside. The power of cooking food was something new to them and they wanted to do it again, and the flame was the key to it all. Now a single thought grew in their minds that the fire should belong to only them, and no one else. The log continued to burn as they all turned back to stare at it as their stomachs shrank back to normal. They each then leapt at the opportunity to claim the fire for themselves.
Snotlog was the first to reach the burning log. Before he could follow on his thoughts of grandeur Hic-Hic, Astgar and Fishlar stormed up with angry faces.
"No Snotlog fui fui," Hic-Hic said referring to the burning log, "Hic-Hic fui fui!"
"Na, Astgar fui fui!" Astgar refuted.
Fishlar pushed right through them to challenge them all. "Fishlar fui fui!"
"Hic-Hic, Astgar and Fishlar bagata!" Snotlog snarled. He was the only one who deserved the fire.
The four faced each other with rage filled eyes. Then Hic-Hic shoved Snotlog as Fishlar did the same to Astgar. Snotlog calmly set the flame down before turning and shoving Hic-Hic back as Astgar shoved Fishlar back as well. It was shaping up into a fight. Snotlog and Fishlar shoved their assailants again, but Hic-Hic and Astgar followed up by beating the others with wooden cudgels! Snotlog and Fishlar shook of the blows and their aching heads. Well, of they were going to play hard ball, so could they! Snotlog and Fishlar responded by pulling out clubs of their own and striking back. It turned into an all out brawl as they all took turns whacking one another upside the head made worse by Tuff charging in with his own club and started hitting on everyone he could, including himself.
Ruff, meanwhile saw this was her chance while the others were distracted. As everyone was bashing one another she crept over and grabbed the burning log.
Hic-Hic, Astgar, Fishlar Snotlog and Tuff continued wailing on one another for all their worth, ignoring the throbbing in their temples. When they suddenly stop, hearing some familiar laughter, peered out across the plain. There was Ruff bee-lining it for her and Tuff's rock.
Ruff thought she had everyone fooled. All she had to do was get back under the rock and she'd be safe with her prize. That idea went out the window when the others popped up in front with furious expressions. "RUFF!"
Ruff was so startled she threw her hands up with a shriek and causing the log to go sailing into the air. Everyone held their breath as they looked to see where it would land.
Snotlog figured it out first and stood directly underneath it's path , laughing as he prepares to catch it. But Astgar jumps on his shoulders and catches it before it even got close to him.
"Ah ha!" The blonde laughed before racing off and leaving Snotlog fuming as she impeded him.
Astgar laughed at her cleverness as she ran with the log, but then a red blur darted past. Astgar stopped in surprise as she was no longer holding the log. It was then revealed Hic-Hic was now in possession of it and laughed triumphantly. But Snotlog ran past him and grabbed the log, laughing with it back in his grasp. Before he could celebrate a brown blur raced past and the log was left floating in mid-air. Fishlegs laughed as he raced away with what he thought was the log. His eyes went wide with shock as he looked and saw he actually carried an annoyed looking Snotlog. Fishlegs chuckled weakly.
Tuff ran up and snatched the log from the air held it over his head and charged for his rock, yelling like a maniac. All a sudden something swooped down from overhead and snatched the log away. Tuff stopped as he felt his hands on empty air.
"Huh?"
The log was now being held by Astgar as she swung from a vine, laughter escaping from her lips as her plan worked. Unfortunately she wasn't paying attention where she was swinging and wound up face first against the side of a tree. Astgar was forced to drop the log and let it roll down the side of the tree.
Lucky, Ruff was standing by the tree's base where she seized the log and ran away laughing. Astgar slide down the tree bark with a groan of pain. As Ruff was running her foot stepped into a pile of leaves and fell through, screaming, leaving the log hovering. The leaves had been hiding a pitfall trap and Ruff unwittingly sprang it.
Tuff ran up and grabbed the log as his sister activated his trap. The female twin stuck her head out angrily at her brother for the stunt.
Tuff didn't bother to check his sister was alright. All that mattered was the fire was his. Suddenly he skidded to a stop as his eyes grew wide at what was staring him down. Whatever it was made the deadlocked cave viking yelp with fright and flee on the spot, drooping the log in the process.
It turned out what Tuff saw was a vicious looking Skullion baring its fangs against a yellow background. It then turned out the beast was nothing more then a drawing being held by Snotlog.
"Dumba Tuff," Snotlout laughed and casually threw the drawing aside, "Fui Fui, Snotlogs!"
Snotlog grabbed up the log and hurried to his hut. He was almost home free he thought as he grabbed for the doorknob only to discover it locked. A grumble cane from Snotlog's mouth at all the times to remember to lock his door as he rummaged in his pelt until he smiled and held up a key. Returning to his other hand, he gasped upon discovering the log was once again stolen off him. He then fumed as he saw who was making off with it.
It turned out Hic-Hic was now the one with the log. He cheered as he held it over his head. At last the fire was in his grasp! This all was ruined as he stepped into a rope trap and was yanked into the air by his foot! He cried out as this made him droop the log.
This time it was Ruff who had set it up, laughing at Hiccup stepping into her trap. She then seized her chance to grab the log and run off before anyone else could stop her.
Hic-Hic narrowed his eyes in anger as he viewed the world upside-down and seeing Ruff escape. "Ruff," he called after the retreating twin, "Ba bwana, Ruff? Ba bwana!" At that moment the vine around his ankle snapped sending Hic-Hic plummeting into a pile of leaves with a scream.
"Ruff, fui fui!" Ruff crowed happily.
A high patch of grass stood along side the trail. Ruff was too excited to notice four legs stick themselves out as she raced by. These belonged to Fishlar, Astgar, Tuff and Snotlog. Neither knew the others were in there with them, but each had the same idea to intercept Ruff. Ruff continues running past and trips over the legs, throwing the log as she crashed to the ground.
Fishlar, Astgar, Tuff and Snotlog poked their heads out of the grass and laughed as their plan worked. They then stopped when they saw the burning rolling away, so they all leap up and chase after it. Hic-Hic rubs his sore head as he recovers from his fall and watched the others run after the log.
"Fui Fui! shouted Snotlog "Snotlog fui fui! Snotlog!"
"Tuff fui fui! yelled Tuff.
"Astgar fui fui!" yelled Astgar.
"Fishlar fui fui!" yelled Fishlar.
"Ruff fui fui!" yelled Ruff.
"Hic-Hic fui fui!" Hic-Hic yelled joining in the pursuit.
The six cave dwellers ran as fast as their legs would carry them. They all wanted the fire so badly they were willing to endure planning, pain and humiliation to claim it for themselves. The log keeps rolling and rolling and goes up the side of a plateau. The six teens stop on the side and watch the log hover in the air before rolling back down straight at them. Instantly determination is replaced by fear as they see the log coming for them, remembering how much the fire hurt when coming in contact with their skin and they didn't want to experience that again.
"Fui fui, no banga!" They all screamed at once high-tailing it as fast as they can.
Hic-Hic, Astgar, Fishlar, Snotlog and the twins scurry away making cowardly whimpers as they ran away from the log. Their eyes remain fixated on the log so they don't see the tree root sticking in front of them. They trip over the root and fall face first in the dirt. The log rolls over their back somehow not spreading the flames. They hastily self-righten themselves and charge after the log as it rolled to a stop and just sat their by itself.
They all grabbed the log at the same time. They lift it up and grunted angrily as they tried to take it. It swiftly turned into match of tug-of-war between the six of them. They all about that the fire belonged to them.
"Hic-Hic fui fui!"
Astgar fui fui!"
Fishlar fui fui!"
Snotlog fui fui!"
Tuff fui fui!"
Ruff fui fui!"
No one relinquished their hold on the log. Just when it looked like things were going to get really ugly between the group the sky overhead darkened as another storm cloud rolled in. Everyone looked up ad they heard another clap of thunder. A downpour was then unleashed, and the six could only watch as the flames fizzled out until all they were holding was a sopping wet log with a charred spot in the center . A groan came from all their mouths as all they went through was now rendered useless.
The rain stopped as quickly as it arrived and the clouds dispersed. As one all six soaked cave Vikings released their hold on the log and plopped on the ground.
Astgar then looked at Hic-Hic with tears brimming in her eyes. She couldn't believe she'd allow greed over the fire get between her and her friends. What were they, Neanderthals? "Hic-Hic." She said sadly.
Hic-Hic quickly felt his own eyes getting wet as he looked at his friend, "Astgar."
Soon the twins and Fishlar were looking at each other with the same sad expression as their friends. "Ruff, Tuff." Fishlar said apologetically.
"Fishlar," The twins lower lips quivered.
The five friends embraced one another and cried. They all felt ashamed at having put the fire above their friendship. Snotlog, however, didn't share their sympathies. He blamed the rest for costing him the flame and stood over them with his club.
"So taka jakka za!" Snotlog growled readying his club.
The others held each other in fear as they prepared to receive the blow, when suddenly a single bolt of lightning came down from the clouds and struck the Jorgenson. Snotlog screamed several pain filled words in gibberish as the lightning charred his body before leaving. Snotlog's body is now blackened by soot and he collapses in front of everyone with wisps of smoke coming off his body.
"Tabanga doo…" Snotlog uttered dejectedly.
The others witnessed this and thought perhaps they could still salvage the situation.. They smiled and each held up a stick with three marshmallows skewered on as They came over and proceeded to cook their treats over Snotlog's smoking body as he mumbled gibberish under his breath cause even in prehistoric times lightning bolts to the head caused post-lightning Snotlout in Jorgensens.
As the sun set over the primeval world Gobber's voice narrates one final time.
"Perhaps certain events in Berk's history are better left untold."
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Matthiamore sat on the stoop outside his cave house, sulking after all the chaos. He'd put a lot of hard work into this story and BrizillaKing1 had come and ruined it almost singlehandedly.
"Now I know how Astrid feels." He muttered, sympathizing with the fierce shieldmadien.
The door to the cave opened and BrizillaKing1 appeared coming out "Why the long face?"
That got him a mean look in reply. Matthiamore though he had a lot of nerve for asking what was wrong when he had deliberately ruined the story. "I think you know perfectly well, you mechanical miscreant!", He snapped, "All I wanted was to show the nice readers how great the cavemen were. But all they got was technology-induced chaos!" And with that Matthiamore turned away from his fellow fanfiction writer and continued sulking.
"Come inside, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised." BrizillaKing1 explained.
"You got rid of the robot/android/cyborg?" Matthiamore asked hopefully.
"Nope, even better."
They head back inside to see what BrizillaKing1 had prepared. The cave is covered in many different colored strobe lights, but Matthiamore doesn't notice as he's busy talking to Brizilla. "Brizilla, I guess I really misjudged you." He turned his head and was greeted with a strange sight. "What the-!"
The caveman, Bloodbottler giant was sitting at a drum set and he started playing with two large bones when he saw they were inside. The music picked up tempo as the X-29488 sat at a turntable and joined in the beat. The robot then began to sing.
X-29488: When Worlds collide!
Matthiamore's jaw dropped as he watched the two completely different beings that had been fighting less then an hour ago now play in perfect sync.
"Pretty sweet, eh." BrizillaKing1 grinned.
X-29488: You can run
Bloodbottler giant: But no can hide
The music continued to fill the cave as even cave drawings of the HTTYD gang began dancing to the rhythm.
X-29488: When Worlds collide
You'll laugh so hard
You'll swear you've died
When Worlds collide
Hold my hand
I'll be your guide
When Worlds collide
Matthiamore stood in a state of shock as he rubbed his eyes to see if he was imagining this. It was real.
The view then shifted to the scene of Snotlog whacking Tuff and Hic-Hic on their heads with the stick. Then it showed the heads of the X-29488 and Bloottler giant revolving around an animated heart.
X-29488: Buckle up for the sweetest ride
And prepare to have your mind blown wide
When Worlds collide
BrizillaKing1 then stepped in saying, "Yo, check it out."
Bloodbottler giant took up the microphone to sing his piece. He now wore a gold bone and chain around his neck.
Bloodbottler giant: When Worlds collide it's a curious thing
Bet you never heard a robot and a caveman sing
In his metal chest are some working parts
How is that different from my beating heart
The robot laid out another beat as a view of the twins drooling appeared.
Matthiamore still looked on confusion at what he was witnessing as he had his mouth hanging wide open. The robot them switched its turntable for a keyboard and swiped it's fingers across the kkeys.
X-29488: I'm from the future
Bloodbottler giant: And I'm from the past
X-29488: But that doesn't mean this friendship wasn't built to last
Bloodbottler giant: He was made in a lab and I was born in a cave
So let me hear ya holler
For this inter-era rave
The robot played another tune on his keyboard as Bloodbottler giant danced to the beat.
The scene changed to Astrid in the dragon traning arena, hallucinating as she did sit-ups. "Future!" She cried.
Bloodbottler giant continued to break dance as the robot laid a beat on his keyboard.
"Word," said BrizillaKing1.
Another change of imagery shows Hiccup talking in a computerized voice, "I am Hic-tron!"
X-29488: You- you- you- you can run
Bloodbottler giant continued to bust a move as he spun around on the floor with his legs in the air as Matthiamore's spun his head around in a circle to try and keep up.
Bloodbottler giant: But no can hide
The caveman finished by moonwalking towards his robot companion while the latter did likewise. They came in for the big finish by crossing their arms and facing the readers.
Bloodbottler giant/X-29488: When Worlds collide!
With the performance over Matthiamore had to close his mouth with his hand as it hung open and shock. He then faced BrizillaKing1 with a smile.
"Well, Brizilla, guess you were right," he said, " The future is cool."
"And just go shoe you there's no hard feelings I went and got you a gift from prehistoric times." BrizillaKing1 said much to Matthiamore's surprise.
"Oh what is," The man asked excitedly, "a new loincloth?"
"No."
"An enlarged forehead?"
"Nope."
Matthiamore gave up and asked, "Oh, what is it?"
BrizillaKing1 went over to the front door and opened it, revealing the surprise. Standing outside was a Tyrannosaurus Rex that unleashed a mighty roar. Matthiamore's eyes comically bulged for their sockets when he saw the T-Rex advancing on him. He ran outside as fast as he could but the T-Rex gave chase.
"Brizilla!" Matthiamore called out for the other writer.
But the other writer was still in the cave house watching in amusement at the others horror as he ate popcorn, "This is great."
The T-Rex finally had Matthiamore cornered and picked him up by his legs in it's mouth. The mab shouted as it chomped down with its sharp teeth. When he turned to the readers and smiled.
"Well, thanks for reading HTTYD BC , folks, he said, "I hope you all enjoyed it. Until next time, be sure to read and review. Bye!" The T-Rex was now nibbling on the mans legs and making him laugh. "Now he's tickling, cut it out, you reptile!"
But the dinosaur continues to nibble away and keeps him laughing.
Well that's it for HTTYD BC, while I originally intended for this to be a one and done story, I started thinking of more Spongebob episodes I wanted to see with HTTYD Characters…so thid is now HTTYD: Spongebob edition.