Look how much shorter the time between updates was! Here's hoping the trend keeps going.
just stab me next time (it would hurt me less)
Harry blinked.
Then he blinked again.
And then he did it a third time for good measure, because this was definitely the kind of information that deserved this kind of reaction.
(There was someone out there, someone who had apparently gone out of his way to ensure that Harry and any potential younger siblings would be his children and then went and ruined his life. It hurts in a way he can't quite place.)
"I… I'm sorry for the language, but what the fuck?" He realized that he was very glad he finished the hot chocolate, because he must have dropped the cup – since, after all, Professor Lupin is now levitating it away – and he's glad to have avoided making a mess all over himself.
Professor Lupin nodded at her. "I suppose if there's ever a time for such language it is now."
Which, yeah, most definitely accurate. (All these years, there had been someone out there who was supposed to love Harry with everything he had and yet chose to take everything away from him.)
There is so much Harry wants to say that she truly cannot decide what should be her first comment.
(No, Harry corrected, and not for the first time these last few months. Lupin nodded at him. He could not decide what his first comment should be. Harry's a boy. He's pretty… decently… somewhat sure. And either way, he does not have the mental energy to go into that, not right now.
Harry had been thinking that after leaving the Dursleys for there would be time, but once more things just kept happening.)
Luckily, after a minute or so of silence passes, Professor Lupin offered to continue the story, something that Harry gladly accepted because he needed answers. He can guess they're not going to be satisfying ones (because what kind of monster would do something like this to the people they loved, to a kid?!) but anything is better than this, surely.
"I'm not really sure how much detail to provide, I admit. It's a thing I struggle with outside of lectures so feel free to tell me if you feel like it's too much or too little. I suppose a good point to start would be when your parents – Lily and James that is," Professor Lupin corrects himself (no matter if blood was involved, there was no way that Black was a parent, not with what he had done to Harry). "When they went into hiding shortly after you were born. There was reason to believe that You-Know-Who would attack your family – and, as you know, that particular piece of information was an accurate one."
At another point Harry might have reacted to that. Because, yeah, he's very much aware of that, thank you very much. After all, he had only been placed with the Dursleys as a consequence. Not to forget the times he had faced some form of the man in and around the castle.
(It occurs to Harry at that moment that Professor Lupin looks like he would have been able to take care of him, back when it all happened, and the moment he realizes that it feels like another knife had been added to his heart.)
"Both being very active and social people by nature, James and Lily didn't enjoy being in hiding, not at all, but they didn't hesitate a heartbeat to protect you. And no matter how much they complained about it, they never even considered debating to stop hiding. Not as long as there was even a fraction of a chance that it would keep you alive.
"So instead of letting their frustrations out toward one another, they figured out ways to stay busy. Lily dealt with it a bit better from what she wrote, which I assume to be because she was able to continue her work-"
"I don't actually know what they did," Harry said as he realized it. "Like, no one's ever told me what their jobs were." Now that he had become consciously aware of the fact, he needed to fill it with knowledge as quickly as possible.
Fortunately, Professor Lupin was quite helpful in that aspect, even if he appeared confused by the fact the needed to do so. "James had always had a big heart, so no one was really surprised when he told everyone he was going to go into Healing. Especially because he had the skills needed to back that choice up. Lily was equally, if not even more brilliant at her work as a spellcrafter and potioneer, though she had dreams of doing volunteer work outside of that. We used to discuss setting up something to… free house elves, expand the education here, and figuring out if there is a way to blend magical and mundane healing, among many other things."
Harry very much noticed the way that Lupin had paused before he had named Lily Potters chosen causes and Harry didn't get the impression that it was due to the fact he had trouble choosing which to name first. No, it seemed more like Lupin was keeping her primary cause hidden, for some reason or another.
It was something Harry did not appreciate, not by any means. Nevertheless she (he! He! … right?) decided not to go into that too deeply. At least not right now, when there were more pressing concerns to discuss.
"If Black was, well, if he was involved with my parents, for whatever reason… If he went through that ritual and all, does that mean he was also in hiding with us?"
"No, he didn't." Lupin sighed. "In retrospect, that probably should have been the first sign that something was wrong, but we didn't see it at the time. You see, Harry, back in 1980 there were rumors flying around that Regulus Black was trying to leave the Death Eaters, due to the fact he hadn't been seen in a while – neither with the attacks, nor outside of them – and Black, the older, claimed that he wouldn't hide when there was a chance the younger one would run to him for help."
And that made sense, Harry supposed, but there was still something that didn't quite add up.
"But… why wait? If they went into hiding shortly after I was born – or at whatever point in 1980 they hid – then why did it take almost an entire year for Voldemort to attack? It doesn't seem like the kind of information you would wait to tell on and it just does not seem like it was at the bottom of Voldemort's to-do list. So, unless Black just decided to switch sides after he had already kept a secret for around a year, it just doesn't make sense.
Considering the look on Professor Lupin's face, that was something he had never considered before.
If you are also on ao3, you should consider checking my works out there, since I post there earlier (with a difference of hours at minimum).