"Where are Sasuke-kun's friends?"
The question had seemed so innocuous, so innocent, and so very undeserving of the dirty looks shot her way then only moments after those words had left her lips. Eyes turned on her then, her voice having seemingly echoed around the room in that instant as there was a slight lull in the conversations. Nervousness and shame curled in her gut then – she was one of the smartest kids in their class! She should have known what was appropriate to say. Though Sakura supposed she wasn't a clan kid, and they always seemed so knowledgeable when it came to matters regarding the shinobi part of the village.
She shifted on her seat then, stiffening as she felt the stares set upon her then, and there was a pair that burnt harsher than any other. Uchiha Sasuke glared at her then, eyes venomous and promising pain. They weren't the eyes of the boy who she had thought was really cool and pretty and awesome. They weren't the eyes of the boy she had declared her affections for to Ino, thereby breaking off their friendship by turning them into rivals instead.
A seat jerked harshly against the floor, and then that hateful stare was gone from the room along with Uchiha Sasuke. The room exploded into conversation afterwards, and Sakura's stomach felt like it was trying to eat itself because that was her fault. "Neh, you an idiot or something?" Kiba – Kiba, of all people – asked, staring at her then, an unreadable expression on his face. Not that Sakura was well versed in reading facial expressions. She was generally terrible when it came to conversing with others. A childhood in books with little interaction with others aside from Ino had done that to her. But she had been trying her best to overcome that as of late. Leaving the long shadow cast by Ino had helped her in that way.
"What?" she asked, blinking dumbly at dog boy, or so she and Ino had once termed him. He never went anywhere without Akamaru at his side.
"Ah, don't be mean to Sakura-chan!" Naruto, her ever persistent admirer, chimed in.
Even Shikamaru – the last of the lazy trio who never scored well on tests eyed her up with something resembling distain. Like she was an ant beneath his boot. He had looked at her in that manner too often after she had broken away from Ino. His lip curled, the longer he stared at her, silently judging her with those dark eyes of his. That was one of the many reasons she disliked him – his eyes always felt as though he were picking things apart, and Sakura had never wanted to be the focus of that.
Sakura could only wonder where and how she had gone so wrong, so as to seemingly earn the ire of the entirety of the class in one go. Her stomach was a mess by that point, the fact that she had somehow wronged Sasuke – her precious Sasuke – making her feel terribly sick.
"Sakura-kun, the massacre of the Uchiha Clan has been the talk of the village for weeks," Shikamaru informed her then, his voice terribly hushed and reprimanding as he continued to stare at her in disapproval. "Sasuke-kun's 'friends' are dead, and he is the only remaining Uchiha in Konohagakure."
She blinked, feeling that much worse. No wonder Sasuke had looked so angry, what with how she had thoughtlessly mentioned the dead… "Oh," she mumbled then, wind taken out of her sails, feeling as though she had just been punched in the stomach. Never had she wanted to punch her past self in the face as much as she did in that instant. "I… didn't know," she said, her voice small.
"The Uchiha Military Police Force vanished… and they generally appeared around the area where you live in… that should have been enough of a clue – you're smart, Sakura-kun, even if you reside in the more civilian districts. I thought you of all people would have been able to put two and two together," Shikamaru said, frowning then, blissfully ignorant to the way those words cut like knives.
I thought you were smart, a sly voice whispered in her ear, and Sakura tried valiantly to keep the tears at bay.
She failed.
"Shikamaru!" Naruto yelled behind her, even as she hurried out of the room, making headway for the bathroom, her stomach feeling like it was a mess as she ran away then and there, heart thudding in her chest.
She only returned to the classroom ten seconds before Iruka-sensei returned, and she sat far, far away from Shikamaru and the other boys, not wanting them to call her out for being stupid and foolish yet again.
She felt Sasuke's glare on her the entire time, and something inside of her withered at that, like a rose that might have once bloomed into something wonderful and amazing had shrivelled up and died. There was no one who was willing to talk to her, and the rest of her day passed in lonely silence. Shameful silence, because she wasn't smart – she wasn't smart at all.
And once the academy day was over with, when her eyes followed that signature uchiwa decorating Sasuke's back, her heart didn't flutter as lightly as it had many a times before, nor did she feel the urge to go and follow him home in the hopes he might notice her amidst the rest of the crowd of girls who also followed him home. Sakura felt terribly foolish all of a sudden at the thought that following him would've suddenly made him like her that much more. But she didn't want to go home just then, because otherwise her brother would know that something had upset her, and she didn't want to be reminded of her earlier idiocy because she was supposed to be smart.
Sakura didn't feel particularly smart anymore, and so she made for the nearest park then, wanting to hide herself away from the rest of the world and the consequences of her stupid question for a little while longer. "Stupid," she muttered, even as she walked from the hard-baked road into the soft green grass of the park, heart in her throat as she recognised it as that park that she and Ino had oftentimes gone to when they were younger. The same park Ami and the other two girls who always followed her had bullied her in.
Dimly, some part of her thought it terribly fitting, even as she went to sit by the small stream which ran through the forested area. The waters gurgled and bubbled over the rocks, going on their merry way, and Sakura wished the river could wash away her memories of that day and the misery and embarrassment which had grasped her so very completely. "It's all going so wrong…" she whispered, burying her face in her hands. "Sasuke-kun is supposed to like me, not hate me," she murmured to the fishes, part of her wishing she could be so carefree.
"If you married someone like him, you'd be happy for life," her aunt had once told her, and that had been the start of it all. "No one would dare to bully the wife of an Uchiha, especially one born to the main family…"
She could still remember those words even then, and Sakura wanted it. She wanted to not be bullied anymore, and she wanted to be happy for the rest of her life. She had always been miserable enough. Nobody needed to remind her about the fact that Ino had taken pity on her. A clan kid never would never have paid attention to her otherwise. She had been reminded about that enough. Those whispers haunted her even to that very day. The thought that she was nothing without Ino. Everything had fallen into place, like it was meant to happen, and Sakura had assumed winning Sasuke's affection would follow suit.
Her shoulders shook, tears leaking down her cheeks. Everything had been ruined the moment she had asked such an idiotic question. She knew, had she still been Ino's friend, she would have known all about that. But she wasn't friends with Ino or anybody else. She was on her own just as she had been before, and she had fallen from the good graces of her classmates by thoughtlessly speaking of the dead and trampling over poor Sasuke's heart. There was no one to catch her from the fall – no kindly offered hand reaching to pull her back up and reassure her.
Loneliness surged within her, misery tagging along for the ride, and Sakura could only blink as her stomach rumbled. Her head shot up, part of her noting how very low in the sky the sun was, a startled yelp escaping her lips as she leapt to her feet, rubbing a hand across her face, wiping away the tears which had fallen. She doubted it would fool her brother, but it had to be dinnertime by that point. Her brother wouldn't question her about what had made her cry in front of their parents. That much Sakura knew, and so she set off for the Haruno Compound.
It was situated a while away from the academy, and so Sakura experienced a very brisk evening walk back home. The civilian quarters of Konoha were nothing like the shinobi quarters. They were much louder than the shinobi district, and so the noise only further increased the closer to home she got. Or it should have.
The Haruno Compound was usually abound in noise by that point, though it was more in the revelry of adults, what with her and her brother being the youngest children in the clan. Though her brother wasn't technically a child. He was an adult, what with him having earned his forehead protector a few years back. A prodigy, or so they had called him. But that wasn't about her brother right then and there, or so she mused as she frowned at the eerie silence and stillness which surrounded her as she stood before the closed gates of the Haruno Compound which were usually propped open still at that time.
A shudder rolled down her spine, and she cracked the gate open, barely taking a step inside before she froze in pure, absolute shock. Gone were the thoughts of Sasuke and the day earlier as she spied the lines of red splashed across the compound walls. The scent of blood and other bodily matter filling her nose and making her retch as she stumbled back into the wooden gate which had closed behind her with an oddly heavy and final click. Her mouth was dry, heartbeat echoing in her ears, even as the moon came out from behind the clouds, shedding light onto the faces of those sprawled across the ground like broken puppets with their strings cut, their eyes glassy and hollow. Unseeing. The word sprang to mind, and then the stillness around her seemed to shatter as she burst into motion.
She ran forwards, gasping in shock, barely noting the fact she splashed her foot in a puddle of blood as she passed, the sticky, thick liquid seeping between her toes and under her heel. "Auntie!" she cried, falling to her knees beside her aunt then, the meagre first aid knowledge she had rushing through her brain at full speed. "Auntie, can you hear me?" she mumbled, voice choked and fearful as she stared at the blood which was just dribbling from the deep gouge in her chest. Blade wound, part of her whispered. Fatal, another part of her whispered, and her hands shook, tears blurring her vision, snot dribbling down from her nose.
Her aunt's body was still warm. Her head snapped around, the distance she had run to her aunt's fallen body suddenly seemingly pointless and long. She should have run away and reported such a scene to the Uchiha—Sakura froze. Who was she even supposed to report it to? Her heart pounded in her chest, the fearful, terrified part of her deciding that she needed to get away from there. Far, far away from there. Her breath came in short, sharp, little pants, and she took a step towards the gate.
Movement in the corner of her eye had her head turning, relief seeping through her as she spied her brother amidst it all. Amidst the blood and madness surrounding her right then and there, an almost unearthly calm surrounding him. Like the eye of the storm, the lull in the sea before the waves came in at full force. "Brother!" she cried, relief seeping through her because her brother was a shinobi. He wouldn't let whoever had killed their family hurt her. "Reiji… nii…" her voice failed her, green meeting green, and Sakura took a sudden step back from her brother, shivers running down her spine at the look in his eyes, the bloodied sword in his grasp, and the blood staining his clothing. "Brother…" she mumbled, stumbling back as he advanced on her then, silent and solemn, part of her brain screaming obscenities and coming up with reasons as to why her brother would have looked like that, the other half of her brain sitting in silent, numb compliance. Of what, Sakura wasn't entirely sure. "What's… going on?" she heard herself ask faintly.
Her back hit the wall, fear unfurling in her gut, a squeak escaping her as the sword rammed into the wall beside her head. Green eyes flickered onto it as blood, thick, heavy, and red dripped down its blade, and Sakura swallowed harshly, wetness suffusing through her pants as she lost control of her bladder, tears blurring her vision as a hand reached for her then. All she could do was stand there, fear making her legs feel far too heavy. "My… how pathetic are you?" her brother asked, fingers curling around her neck, and Sakura shrieked, the sound gurgled and impaired by the hand holding her aloft by her neck. Her feet kicked out, panic roaring in her veins. She didn't want to die—she didn't want to die. Feet kicked out, but Sakura felt as though she might as well be kicking a brick wall for all the damage that did. "Silly little Sakura… tell me, do you think your precious Sasuke-kun would like to see you like this?"
Tears continued to leak down her cheeks, saliva bubbling from her lips as her hands clenched around the one closed around her neck. Gurgles of sound escaped her, the sound of blood rushing through her suddenly that much louder as Sakura came to the abrupt realisation that her brother – her beloved older brother – was going to kill her. Nails dug into skin, and Sakura hated the fact that was all the damage she could do to him. Of course, part of her brain whispered. He's a prodigy. And Sakura wasn't. That fact had been made clear every single second of her existence. Just as Ino had cast her in shadow, her brother had too – but she loved her brother so much, and she knew he didn't mean to cast her in shade. She loved him. She had thought it mutual. She stared at him, panic making it harder and harder to think clearly. Why was his hand around her throat? She didn't understand. She didn't think she understood anything anymore. You're not smart, a voice which sounded incredibly like her own whispered in the back of her head.
"Too weak," he spat, and the words cut like knives even as he relinquished his hold on her throat then, green eyes watching in disgust as she slid down the wall, legs unable to support their own weight. "You wouldn't even be worth the time to kill."
A foot slammed into her gut, and Sakura vomited up whatever was left in her stomach, vision blurred with her continuous tears as she stared at the ankles in front of her. She was weak and stupid. Fingers moved of their own volition, grasping at those familiar ankles, the entirety of her feeling numb with shock and just a touch of relief. She could breathe. She wasn't helpless. She was alive. "Brother," she croaked, staring up into those cold green eyes which looked so very foreign to her. Words clawing their way up through her throat amidst the confusion and pain she felt like she was drowning within. "Why?"
Her brother smiled. It wasn't a nice smile. Rather, it was one which would haunt her dreams, her nightmares, forever. "Because I could," he declared, slipping out of her grip then, and there was an odd pricking sensation. And then there were images flashing through her mind. Her brother's smile. The family's slaughter. The screams filling the air. Numbly, Sakura wondered why no one had come, her vision blurred, feeling as though she was watching something on two screens. On one replayed the Haruno Clan's slaughter. Her clan's slaughter. And on the other her brother walked away, casting only a single glance behind and smiling even as she fell sideways, body numb, unable to move from the pool of blood she found herself lying in.
It was hours before anyone came.