There was something thick and heavy in the air as she stared up at him. Part of her wanted nothing more than to bury herself under the covers and never come out again. Coward. Part of her didn't want to face him after everything she'd done, and all the lives she had undoubtedly ruined. He had, after all, seen first-hand the devastation her kindred could cause. Besides, it wasn't like she was all that different to the rest of them.
He hated her. That much was supposed to be true. That was what elves and dragons had to do to one another – hate each other bitterly, until only one or the other existed at the end of it all. That was what dragons had been made to do, a maelstrom of hatred and anger, each of them. It was undoubtedly why she had fit in so very well with dragons despite her earlier existence. Grey eyes stared into her acrid green ones, searching for something in her gaze. What it was, Sakura didn't have the first clue of.
"Are you here to talk, or are you here to kill me?" Sakura asked, part of her wondering where she had found the courage to ask that question. She herself didn't quite know whether she would rather talk or have that life of hers ended right there and then by the person who was always, undoubtedly meant to kill her. Whether that would be once and for all was another question entirely. Sakura wasn't sure if that mattered all that much.
"I said that much before, did I not?" Glorfindel said, staring down at her with an alarming amount of calmness. Sakura wondered if he was just as calm underneath it all. Then again, dragons, especially her, wore façade after façade to hide the ugliness within. She rather doubted elves needed to do as such, lovely as they were. "I am here to talk…"
Sakura blinked languidly, her mind moving a mile a minute, even as her heart beat frantically in her small chest. "I see," she mumbled at that, unable to think of anything witty or dragonish to say. Part of her didn't want to say anything a dragon would, because their – including her own – tongues were just as much of a poisonous weapon as the rest of them. "Though I do not quite understand why on Arda you'd want to talk with me… or do you forget that which I am?"
"I do not forget that which you are," he said. "I doubt I could ever do that much. After all, is the proof not written on your arm? Upon my back?"
She pulled her arm out from beneath the covers she had sequestered herself away beneath, staring at the accursed black lettering which revealed the binding between them – of how their souls were meant to be tied together forevermore. "Tell me," she said, coming into her own element, part of her wanting nothing more than to provoke him. Why couldn't he just do what heroes were supposed to do with monsters? "Why do you bother to come and speak with a dragon of all things? The very things you've been slaying for years upon years?"
Grey eyes narrowed. "Because the dragon in question is my soulmate. Ancalagon," he said, all but spitting her name in those lands from his lips. "Though I do not quite know that which to call you anymore. You did, after all, once tell me that you wished for me to only know you by Lothien. You all but implied that other names did not matter…"
"Does my true name really matter?" she asked, tilting her head, anger rising up within her. Part of her was nothing but grateful for that. Anger and hatred were things she knew all too well. Anger and hatred were the two things she was supposed to be made out of, according to Morgoth's whims.
"Of course it matters," Glorfindel hissed. "How was I supposed to otherwise know that my apparent fated other half was before me…?"
"You were never supposed to know," Sakura acknowledged, wanting nothing more than to go back to those times when she could curl up on his lap without needing to say a word. She wanted to curl up beside him. She wanted to stare at those mesmerizingly pretty golden locks and hoard them forevermore. She wanted to see them when she woke up. She wanted to be worthy enough to stand at his side – but that… That was a fleeting dream which would never see the light of day. "After all, in what realm of possibility could a dragon and an elf ever be together…"
"Never, is what I used to think, but seeing you here now before me…" he trailed off, grey eyes scanning her from head to toe. "Now… Now I am not so certain…"
"And you think that coming here to see me will bring you the answers you seek?" she questioned, the face she was pulling making it clear what she thought of that. Foolish. How could he know that he meant them no harm when her very existence indicated otherwise? How could he trust that poisonous tongue of hers to tell the truth and nothing but the truth? "How naive."
"It is hardly naivety. I do not trust you – I cannot. Your very nature suggests that," he said, still looking so eerily calm before her. "I simply wished to come here to both speak with you, and ascertain some things."
Sakura raised an eyebrow, making herself as comfy as she could atop her mattress and beneath the soft blankets. She probably didn't deserve to be comfortable, especially not while talking to him. "Such as…?"
"Whether or not I can tell whether you are lying," Glorfindel stated, and Sakura froze at that, swallowing thickly, because if there was a single person which she would struggle to lie to it would be him. Her precious. Her unobtainable soulmate, situated on his pedestal high above her own. If she even had a pedestal. "Long have I been thinking about the many things you have said to me over our… acquaintance," he spoke, heedless of the worms crawling in her belly. "Some of what you said… well, it paints a very different picture to the beast I have been imagining in my worst nightmares."
"So I feature in your dreams," Sakura said, fear and annoyance putting words in her mouth, hiding her unsettled mien beneath false confidence. It fooled others, so why would it not fool him? "How lovely to know."
You don't deserve him, that voice in the back of her head reminded. She didn't even deserve to be a thought passing in his mind. And yet there she was.
"Shall we play a game?" he asked, and Sakura felt herself sit up at that, even as her soulmate made himself comfy just outside the barred door to her cell. Part of her wished she could offer him a cushion to sit on, what with how many blankets and pillows she had. Cushions and blankets should have been for the elves rather than her. But she was supposed to be a dragon, and she was supposed to be awaiting her execution. Hospitality had no place there, nor was it something that dragons were well known for. Rather, dragons were well known for the opposite.
Yet she hadn't always been a dragon.
The voice in the back of her head laughed at the thought – because really what difference did the fact that she had once been human matter in the grand scheme of things. The fact she was once a stupid, foolish human didn't change what she had done upon becoming a dragon.
"A game?" she echoed, cursing the part of her which was intrigued by the prospect of a game. Not that she deserved something to alleviate her boredom. But it was him who was asking her that, and she had no real reason to refuse him. He was so much better than her. He could ask for anything, and she would give it to him willingly. Not that she hoped he would ever work that much. "Very well. I'll play with you," she purred, resting her head on her hands as she met that grey-eyed stare which felt like it ought to burn her.
"Then tell me two truths and a lie," he said, and Sakura only blinked at that.
She stared at him for a few moments, confusion flashing across the face she wore. "That… how would you even know if they were truths?" she questioned. "I think this game you want to play requires a level of truth and trust that we both just don't have in each other…"
Glorfindel merely stared at her flatly, and Sakura felt something squirm within her. "Two truths and a lie, please."
Sakura sat back, folding her arms as she brought them up and out from the nest of blankets she had made. "Well, if that's how you want to play it, then so be it," she grumbled, a war within her then – was she supposed to be honest, or was she supposed to pretend to be the evil dragon she was supposed to be? Sakura didn't know. She didn't think she'd ever know, especially when it came to her soulmate. "I care about you," she said, and she didn't quite know whether that was a truth or a lie. A truth, definitely a truth, though she didn't deserve – didn't have the right – to care about him. "I want to burn this realm to ash and cinders," she added. Dragons are made from lies, aren't they? the voice reminded her. She paused then, contemplating on the last lie she should tell. What would an ordinary dragon want to do in her shoes? "I want to collect everything golden… and silver… and jewelled," she said, eyes lingering far too long on those golden locks which always mesmerised her.
Stupid dragon instincts.
Not that she really wanted to hoard all things golden, silver, and jewelled. She only wanted one thing which was golden, and that was something which she couldn't have. Ever.
"What now?" she asked, part of her burning with insatiable curiosity as to his answer of which of her lies were apparently truths. Not that he'd probably ever figure it out.
"Now?" he murmured, climbing to his feet then, a smile curling at his lips. She wished he would always be smiling. He did, after all, deserve to be happy after the misfortune of being bound to something like her. Unlike you, the snide voice reminded. She didn't deserve to be happy. She doubted she would be for a long while, if not forever. "Now I will go and think on my answer."
Her eyes narrowed at that, part of her already suspecting the response to the question which left her lips in a hurry. She wished he would stay longer. Not that she had any right to hold his attention so. "Will you ever tell me it?" she demanded, hating and loving the almost mischievous smile which curled at his lips at that.
"No. I rather doubt that…" he replied, walking out of her sight in an instant, heedless of the way she wanted to go and pull him back into sight so she could gaze upon him for hours and hours on end.
A mix of frustration and anger swirled within her, as was fitting for her vile nature. Sakura bared her teeth then, punching the wall with a wet smack, a scowl curling at her lips as she felt blood trickle down over her knuckles. How weak had she become to be injured so easily? Though she deserved any and every injury which came her way.
The elves were seemingly far too nice to hurt her like that.
She rather wished they would.
"Why," Sakura ground out, glaring venomously at the two figures unlocking her cell door, "are you here?" she demanded, glaring at her once-friend and the son of the ellon who had killed her in her second life – the very leader of that place she was now imprisoned within. "Are you here to kill me, or tell me what's to become of me?"
"Wrong!" Noeneth all but sung, annoyingly chipper for one reason or another, and Sakura despised her for it. She wished she could be that happy too, not that she deserved such a thing. She wondered if she was even capable of feeling such an emotion anymore. Hadn't she simply been greedy and contented when it came to the matter of her fated other half? "Let me see your hand," the elleth said, grabbing her injured hand faster than she could blink. A frown marred her face then, and Sakura felt glad to see the chipper happiness vanish at the sight of her latest injury.
"There are surprisingly few elves who wish to treat a dragon's injuries," Lord Elrond spoke, making himself busy then with changing the bandages around her healing throat.
Sakura snorted derisively at that. "Why would that be surprising?" she questioned, a raised eyebrow telling of what she thought of the intelligence of elves not fearing a being capable of burning them all to cinders and ash. "Or do you forget I am a being of fire and ruin? A child of Morgoth? A being capable of ensnaring your pretty little minds and driving you mad?"
"And yet you cannot breathe fire currently, nor can you shift form, and neither can you ensnare anybody in an illusion of your own making," he answered, and Sakura felt something shift in her belly at the acknowledgement of just how powerless she was supposed to be in that prison. A prison she would gladly stay in for the rest of her days if it made him love her like she didn't deserve to be.
Don't even dream of it, the voice reminded her, and she scowled at that and simply let the bothersome cheerful elleth tend to her injured hand with stitches, bandages, and a promise to return to check up on her injuries.
"How irrational of them then – to not be afraid of the chained dragon in the basement," Sakura muttered, rolling her eyes at that. "Some might even say it's irrational to treat such a creature when they injure themselves…"
Grey eyes gazed at her – the same eyes which had once stared at her from atop the deck of a ridiculously glowing ship. "Tell me, Ancalagon," he spoke softly, heedless of the way she flinched at the sound of that accursed name. "After all Noeneth has told me of your earlier stay in the Halls of Healing… Tell me, is it your pride which makes you say this? Or do you truly not believe yourself of deserving to be healed?" She stiffened at that, hating the nail which had just been hit on the head. Not that they could ever know that. "None of your earlier actions seem to line up with what is expected of dragons… and much research has been done on them, thanks to both curious scholars and Glorfindel's soulmark."
A choked laughter escaped her. "What can I say?" she spoke, a plastic smile curling at her lips, almost seeming satisfied and content with her words. "I do so excel at deception, it seems. Besides, I do not need your pathetic, insistent help, elf," she hissed. "I am a dragon."
Noeneth stared at her then, expression far more solemn and serious as she brushed her pink hair back behind her ear. "You do not realise just how much you say that these days, do you?" she murmured, and Sakura bared her teeth and dared her to say another word. "Keep telling yourself that much, and perhaps one day you will truly believe that…"
Sakura snarled. "Another word like that, and I will rip out your spleen through your throat," she declared, growling deep in her chest at the way the elleth only raised one sceptical eyebrow and retreated from her cell – leaving her alone with the ruler of that place. The same person who could probably order her death. She wished they'd hurry up and do just that, or at least let her know what was to become of her. The wait was slowly becoming almost unbearable. Though that was probably the idea. Nothing more than an unsightly dragon like her deserved.
"You know," Noeneth said, peering back at her from where she waited in the corridor. "They say dragons are creatures made from fire, malice, and lies… but does that not make you wonder what sort of lies you have been forged from?"
"I am a dragon," Sakura hissed, glaring at her then, hating the repetitive thought that Noeneth never failed to bring to the forefront of her mind with every unthinking word and question.
She hadn't always been a dragon.
"You know what the spleen is, then?" Lord Elrond murmured, bringing her attention back onto the probable greater threat to her. Though she deserved to be threatened, really. She was, after all, a dragon no matter what ideas Noeneth was deluding herself with.
Sakura sniffed. "Obviously," she said, pulling her blankets back around her, and wishing that the pair of healers would leave her be. It wasn't like they could change her twisted, marred soul to what it originally was. Not that she could remember what it had once been. That was far too many years and lifetimes ago.
"You have some degree of medical knowledge, then, I take it," he continued, ignorant to the longing and greediness she had at the thought of being able to heal rather than ruin. Like she'd been able to in that first life of hers. But only good things could heal, and she was no longer just that – if she'd ever been such a thing as good.
"It makes it easier to kill," Sakura said, her grin nothing but teeth as she stared into those grey eyes which made her want to shrivel up into a tiny ball and perish where she stood.
The elf acknowledged her words with barely a hum, turning on his heel and sweeping out of her cell in a flurry of robes and long hair.
Then it was back to the silence of her cell and the trap which was her spiralling vortex of thoughts which never ceased to leave her alone in that place and time.