Misery loves company

Chapter 6: The night before the day

Hey guys :) So you aren't going to like me that much this chapter but I needed to do this chapter because it reveals important things for later chapters. I promise the next chapter will have Sheldon and his dad. I want to start posting on Fridays to so let me know if that is something you want.

A special thank you for all your love on my story. Reading your thoughts and love for it make me so happy. You guys continue to motivate me to write.

P.s This story can be sensitive for some people but this chapter isn't to sensitive.

There is always a slender wisp of hope hanging to the hinges of the door to your heart. There is always a chunk of melancholy whipping against the window panes. You have to decide whether the glass is too fragile or the hinges too worn out or neither.-Bhumika Singh

"You know what Sheldon forget it ."Howard said irritated before storming off.

"No no you said what you said so explain what you mean by it."Sheldon said following him.

"Okay then try understanding this. I know we all tease each other but you always seem to disrespect my job and me not having my doctorate. It offends me because this is something I truly love and you don't support me because why ?you don't respect engineers ?" Howard said going off only getting angrier.

"I don't disrespect your job. I think you are quite amazing at your job and your job is not my job but it isn't the worst job."Sheldon said.

"Wow Sheldon really you don't disrespect my job but you still continue to mock it. "Howard said getting more annoyed now .

"Well Howard I disrespect the fact you don't have a PHD not the fact that you are an engineer. "

"Like that makes any of this better ? I don't need one therefore you are disrespecting my job. "

"You are not understanding Howard. If I am honest at first I did think having a doctorate determined who you were as a person. I thought people's opinion didn't matter if they didn't have one but I slowly learnt that I was wrong when I met you and Penny. Clearly people can be a different kind of smart like Penny is smart with people which I don't have. "

"Oh so the great Dr Cooper doesn't excel in everything. What a surprise!" Howard said sarcastically.

"Sarcasm? " Sheldon looked at Howard who rolled his eyes and he took it as a yes before continuing," What I am trying to say Howard is that you underestimate yourself. You think you don't have to get a doctorate simply because it isn't needed for your job. "

"I do not underestimate myself Sheldon. I just don't want to get my doctorate. "

"And why is that ? "

"I don't know okay I just don't want to."

"You were more than willing to when you took my class but you quit."

"Because you were driving me insane making me less of what I actually am. If someone is underestimating me out of the both of us then it is you."

"You are right. I never responded to how I felt in the right way. I thought teasing you and mocking you would make you more willing to work for it to prove me wrong and I would gladly be wrong for that."

"What I am trying to say Howard is that I don't think you not wanting to get your doctorate is not because you don't want it but rather you are scared I'm going to be right. You are scared you are not capable of more and therefore you underestimate yourself. "

"How would you know how I feel ? You can't feel anything . You are a robot who doesn't understand feelings."

"Now that was really unnecessary Howard. Look I might not be able to understand feelings as well as you guys but that is my kryptonite. I have gotten better since Amy and you guys. Since I had my son but the difference between both of us is that I'm trying even though you mock me and you aren't."

"I make fun of you because I want you to see how much you are growing. To notice all the times you are acting like a real human and also because you mock me to."

"Well I apologize but my mocking means more than you think."

"So you think I'm really capable of getting my doctorate ?."

"I really do. I think that you might not need it but you deserve it . You are worth more and I want to see you reach your full potential. I might not always show it but I care about you dearly Howard. "

"Well I don't not care about you too " Howard took a short pause before continuing," okay I will try."

"try to what?"

" I will try to get my doctorate."

"You will ? For who though ? "

"For me. You are right I have bigger potential and why not . What is stopping me ?"

"Exactly . I'm really glad you are doing this Howard. " Sheldon gave a small smile which Howard repeated back.

"Thank you Sheldon. Maybe you aren't the robot I always say you are."

"And maybe you aren't hopeless after all. I see a greatness in you Howard and I would like to see you achieve it."

"So being an astronaut is not considered great."

"Well I must say it is quite impressive but I meant in another sense. You have a wonderful family and I must say your kids have grown up beautifully. So you have achieved a level of greatness but I meant in your career. "

"Well Sheldon I don't know what changed but this is the nicest you have ever been to me. So I'm a little scared."

"You were there for me plenty of times that I didn't thank you for. When I found my mom sleeping with another man.."

"We don't need to go over ancient history especially that please Sheldon." Howard cut him off.

"okay okay but I just want to say thank you for everything. I don't always show I'm grateful but I admire your determination and confidence. I know we can annoy each other alot but I don't want you to forget that for if I ever do something wrong."

"If ? you mean when but you helped me when I was freaking out over having a son. You reassured me as a parent . My daughter gets to go to a decent university because of you and I apologize for annoying you harshly to. It is kind of a defense mechanism. "

Sheldon smiled and nodded.

"Now let's go tell the guys how much you care about me." Howard said in a teasing tone.

"If you tell anybody about this conversation Howard please remember I am still texan and I know how to use a gun. " Sheldon said trying to use his texan accent .

"Okay okay Sheldon . This is just between us then you know you are kind of scary. "

"Don't you forget it." Sheldon said as they both headed in the apartment again.

Howard's pov:

"Hey,you okay ?" Bernadette asked while heading in the car.

"What? Umm yes,yes I'm okay.",I said getting brought back to reality. I then continued to try and change the subject,"You dropped Emily and Leo off already ?".

Bernadette nodded then responded,"Yes,I'm glad we dropped them off after we dropped Halley and Michael off at middle school. Otherwise I wouldn't have the heart to still pretend to smile infront of my kids." .

"Why ? What did they say ?" I said concerned now.

"Leo kept asking me when is his daddy coming home. I couldn't bear to look him in the eye Howie. He knows something is up but thank goodness Emily changed the subject and they went to the classroom." Bernadette said looking down at her hands now.

"It seems like Emily might know something is up also but she also doesn't like emotional situations that much so I wonder who she learnt that from. It must be really hard for him to not know what is going on. Amy is going to need to tell him soon . He is not just any kid,he is Sheldon and Amy's child so he will figure it out sooner rather than later. " I said then sighed as I grabbed Bernadette's hand in mine.

"I know but I was hoping we wouldn't have to. He still isn't improving so it is best Leo does know. I just hate that we have to because it will make everything seem more real for us and I know this is real but I keep hoping that I will wake up from this nightmare soon and telling him will bring me back to reality more."

"I feel that way to. You know recently I have been thinking about how unfair life is. I had a pretty rubbish father that left me and he is fine but Sheldon is an amazing father. He tries every day to not do what his father did to him. Leo doesn't deserve to have a perfectly good father leave him. It seems the best people keep leaving even when we want them to stay. I don't know how to explain it but this is just all unfair."

"Are you sure you want to go to work today ?You still have more vacation days and we can visit Sheldon."

"No,I can't keep sitting in that quiet,dull room feeling myself lose hope every second I remain there. I need to distract myself. I don't think I could stomach another second of looking at a lifeless Amy who is almost as lifeless as her husband and to see Penny drown herself in alcohol every day while Rajesh just joins in knowing that it isn't something Penny should be doing."

"Okay I just want to make sure."Bernadette said giving half a smile.

I reciprocated the smile before saying,"How about you ? How are you doing about all of this ?"

"Honestly,I feel like I'm doing better than most,like you said Penny and Rajesh are drinking their problems away while Leonard shows lack of caring about basically everything that is happening and Amy is just one big mess that doesn't even know where to start picking up the pieces. Mary keeps lying to Missy and Georgie and telling them it isn't serious. She is trying so hard to be strong for everyone but she is struggling just as hard. "Bernadette sighed as she was rambling so much and could feel the tears stinging her eyes now.

"So I feel bad for not being as much as a mess as everyone else. I feel like I don't deserve to feel as devastated as I do because I'm able to keep myself together a little more. It sounds ridiculous but I feel like I am more focused on making sure everyone else is okay so that I don't have to worry about my own feelings." , Bernadette continued.

"That is completely understandable Bernie but try not comparing other people's coping mechanisms to yours. Some are unhealthy and some are reasonable. You always have the habit of putting everyone else's mask on first before yours. It is okay to help others but make sure you have your own mask on first. "

"I know. Thank you Howie." Bernadette said giving another reassuring smile.

"You know Sheldon said that was actually what he admired most about you. He said it was like your very own super power. You were always able to be the calm during the storm which is apparently surprising considering your size. He said that you can be cool,calm and rational but also feel everything to in that situation. He said he envied you for having it both ways. I just laughed it all off but I understand what he means now."

"Well having brothers can do that to you." Bernadette said then continued,"He has to be okay right,Howie ? "

"He has to" I said barely able to say more as the lump rose in my throat.

Bernadette hugged me tighter than usual then wiped her tears before starting the car. The ride was silent but we couldn't bare say a word without crying. Bernadette dropped me off at Caltech and we both said our goodbyes.

I bumped into both Rajesh and Leonard as they were walking to Leonard's office. Leonard and Rajesh clearly had tension between them. I couldn't understand what it was. I joined them as they walked to Leonard's office.

"Leonard ? Don't we normally go this way to your office? " I asked confused.

"Yes but I decided to take this way now. It is quicker." Leonard said.

"Actually it isn't. It is longer." Rajesh said correcting him.

" Oh well the exercise is good I guess so let's go this way." Leonard said almost in a faint plead.

I knew there was more to the story but I decided not to mention anything as we continued walking in the new direction.

Once we got to his office, Leonard showed what he has been working on for a little while then Rajesh and I walked to our offices which was in the same direction. We decided to take the normal way that we usually do instead of the longer way.

We both stopped eventually at a certain door now knowing why Leonard refused to go this way. On the door it said:

Dr Sheldon Cooper PhD

Theoretical physicist

I could now feel a lump forming in my throat once again. None of the us spoke now. It was strangely quiet and we didn't like it.

"Come on buddy let's go." Rajesh said laying his hand on my shoulder.

I nodded and we carried on our journey to our office. This was going to be a very long day.

"Congratulations Dr Wolowitz !!" Rajesh said standing on a chair in apartment 4A surrounded by their friends and his glass raised in the air.

Everyone raised their voice and cheered loudly.

"Thank you so much everyone. To be honest I never thought I would see this day come but I'm so glad it did. Thank you to my beautiful wife for constantly supporting me. Thank you Rajesh for staying up nights with me to get it done and thank you so much Leonard,Penny and Amy for your constant motivation. I think I would have lost motivation without you three. Thank you for reminding me why I was doing this and I know this might be weird to hear especially from me but thank you Sheldon for the years of teasing to get this done anyways thank you all so much . I'm finally Dr Wolowitz!"Howard said taking his turn to stand on the chair.

The group of friends roared with cheers and congratulations. The night went on as normal and Penny finally called everyone's attention on the chair.

" Okay okay I will be quick but I hope you all remember years ago I made this as a joke but now I feel like it is more of a time as any to use it." Penny said then started to pointing to specific people before continuing," You are a doctor,you are a doctor,you are doctor,you are a doctor ,you are a doctor, you are a doctor." ,Penny said as she pointed to each individual person in the rooms and

smiling.

"And you know alot of doctors." Howard now said looking at Penny with a smile.

Penny laughed then jumped off the chair. Everyone came to congratulate Howard and say how they are so happy for his accomplishment and it was about time.

"Well Howard I don't like saying I was right but I was right. I knew you could do it and I'm so glad more than anyone to know this day had finally arrived. "Sheldon said as he walked up to Howard.

"Since when do you not like saying you were right and thank you but all thanks goes to you . I wouldn't have done it without our conversation." Howard said.

"Well I might have gave you a little push Howard but this was all you . Your achievement was very well earned and I must say I'm quite proud of you Howard. You have accomplished alot in your lifetime and you are decent guy. " Sheldon said.

"You want to bring it in ?" Howard said holding his arms open.

Sheldon shook his head but Howard hugged him anyway. Sheldon sighed then hugged Howard back. He patted him a couple times awkwardly then they parted from the hug.

"Well Dr Wolowitz it seems Rajesh wants to come here so I will leave you to it and get to Amy. " Sheldon said then before turning his back he looked at him a gave a smile with a slight nod which Howard copied. It said everything they didn't say out loud.

"Well buddy ,my best friend did it . You are finally a doctor and I have a surprise." Rajesh said enthusiastically.

"Thank you Rajesh." Howard said with a smile.

Rajesh showed a bottle of vintage wine and Howard remembered the pact they both made.

"No way you still kept this ?"

"You bet . You think I would throw it away . We promised to drink it once you officially got your doctorate and that day has come. "

" I thought you threw it away since we both knew that day wasn't coming. I'm so glad you kept this . Thank you so much Rajesh. "

"Anything for my best friend." Rajesh said with a huge smile as they opened it.

"How glad I am that you are mine." Howard said tearing up now.

"Aww Howard you are making me cry." Rajesh said then hugged him.

"Howard ? Howard? " Rajesh now snapped me back into reality once again.

" What ? Im sorry what are you doing here Rajesh ?" I said sorting out the papers on my desk not knowing how much time went by.

"Bernadette called and said if you wanted to talk about the Leo thing with Amy tonight ? What does she mean Howard ? " Rajesh said sitting down on one of the chairs now.

"Oh yes we probably should and all of you should be there to I suppose."

"Good luck getting Leonard anywhere near it."

"We will make a plan."

That night everyone sat at Apartment 4A for dinner. The kids played in Emily's room while they ate quietly. No one dared to sit in Sheldon's spot. Amy tried to respond every now and then but you could hear her voice crack. It was different without Sheldon. It was an uncomfortable silence that they hated. Mary was also there. Rajesh tried making most of the conversation because he was uncomfortable with silence.

"Amy ? We need to talk about Leo ?" Bernadette eventually said filling the silence once Rajesh gave up on trying.

"What about him? Did something happen?" Amy asked worried.

"No it was just that it was our turn to take the kids to school as you know and he asked when Sheldon was coming home. I know he misses him." Bernadette said and you could hear her voice go quiet .

"We know he is a very smart kid. He gets it from you and Sheldon so we know it isn't going to be long before he puts two and two together Amy. We think it is best he knows what is going on before he finds out in another way." I said filling in for Bernadette and grabbed her hand once again.

"You want me to tell my 4 year old son about his father ? He is... is only 4 . How could I..I possibly do that ? " Amy said almost of the verge of crying.

"We know it is going to be hard but we are here to help. You don't have to say everything but just enough." Bernadette said jumping in.

"I think they have a point Amy . We all know Leo knows something is up . Even you. All the times you have spent with him recently he knows something is up. He will figure it out eventually. He is four but he is too intelligent for his age." Mary said filling in then started to pick at her food again.

Amy took a big sigh," Okay. I will talk to him about it just not now. I need time to process this myself. " .

"Okay and we will be there every step of the way right Leonard ?" Penny said almost the last word snarky and bitter

Leonard gulped then nodded slightly before eating food once again.

The room was silent once again and everyone couldn't stop looking at the empty seat in the room. I didn't realise how important Sheldon was in his life until it was too late.

to be continued...

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