Misery loves company
Chapter 10: Fighting for you
Hey guys we are back with another one :) Thank you so much for your continuous support and to 4 very special people who kept me going with this chapter I appreciate you guys so much and hope you know who you are.
P.S this can be sensitive for some but it isn't that sensitive. There will be very sensitive chapters coming soon though but I will let you know.
There is the sun and the earth the moon and the stars the clouds and the sky and then there is you and I.
Sheldon's pov:
I felt the wind on my skin as I ran around trying to find where the voice was coming from. I looked at my childhood neighborhood at all the still houses. Not a sound was made other than the wind and my panting from losing oxygen.
"Sheldon you won't find them. " My father shouted from a distance.
He looked so much smaller from all the way down there. He slowly walked to me while I caught my breath.
"Why not ? I heard them . "
"Because if you see them then it means you have given up on fighting. It means that you won't be able to go back to your loved ones. "
"So only when I am dead dead I will see them ? "
He nodded.
"Why can I see you then ?"
"Because I don't have a strong enough relationship with you to keep you here. Your meemaw and pop pop on the other are so close to you that you will give up fighting and stay. "
"So I have to choose between them and my family back home ?"
"Not really.Your meemaw and pop pop would never ask you to leave them. They love you and when it is your time you will see them but not now. " .
"Have you seen them ?"
"I have. Your pop pop was sorry he couldn't be there for you when you were 5. He hated that he left everyone and you but he is so proud of you for sticking with science. Your meemaw and him are happy now. They found each other again. "
"My meemaw. Is she okay ?" I asked now as I felt the dull ache remembering her and my pop pop.
"Yes more than okay. She loves watching Leo grow up and, she said that he is so much like Amy and you. She said she is proud of you for the way you handled her death. She said she knows it wasn't easy but you knew you needed your family to get through it and she said you will always be her moon pie. She is sorry she never got to say goodbye to you. She hates that she never got to tell you what she thought before she left but she said you don't have to blame yourself for not saying goodbye. There was nothing you could have done to say goodbye in time. "
"Thank you ." I said feeling the tears fill my eyes now.
I felt myself fading away from this world. Then next thing I knew I found myself in a hospital room.
"What am I doing here ? " I asked looking around the hospital room.
There was my unconscious body infront of me and, there Missy and Georgie was. When did they get here ? How did I get here ? Why wasn't I watching this on a screen. How was I in this room now? With them ? I looked at my father now surprised to find us here.
"Looks like you might have a connection keeping you here and is the reason you are better enough to be here. " he said smiling.
I heard Missy talking to me now. She was always able to bring everyone a smile no matter how sad you thought you were. It was amazing to see how in her own sadness she brought a little happiness.A small bright light when you were surrounded by darkness. She was still able to smile or try to.
"You know when you both were little. You tripped over your own two feet and fell hurting your knee. So you go walking around hopping with one leg because it is sore and you swear you couldn't walk even though you were exaggerating. So Missy comes finds out what happened and she starts hopping on her one leg. I asked her why she was hopping on one leg . She tells me because her twin is sore so she is sore to. She said whatever you feel she can feel it to. " My father said sitting on the ground next to me laughing.
"All because we shared a womb for nine months. " I said smiling now.
I now looked back at them to see Georgie crying and Amy comforting him. I don't think I have ever seen him cry. I heard him when we were kids, cry at night when he thought everyone was asleep but I never seen it. He looked so vunerable. He looked so fragile. It hurt to see him like that but I smiled seeing Amy and everyone help him.
"You know Georgie is the reason Amy and I try teaching Leo that it is okay to feel emotions and cry. " I said now looking at my sister comfort my brother.
"Really I thought it was because you were scared he picked up some habits from you. "
"Well yes that's why Amy spoke to me about it after she realized Leo doesn't like talking about his feelings she was scared when he needed us the most he wouldn't come to us because he didn't know what to do but when she talked to me I thought of Georgie. When I was a kid I hated that he never cried. I hate that he shut everyone out because he thought it would make him less of a man if he did. He thought being the man of the house meant drinking your problems away instead of talking about them to somebody. I felt less of a man for crying sometimes because he didn't cry. I don't want Leo to feel like he can't cry infront of us. I mean sure he is little so he will cry alot but when he is older. I wanted him to know it was okay to cry. "
"I hate that I wasn't the right example for him that in my own way I taught him that. It was just that I was taught that when I was a kid and I thought Georgie wouldn't survive in our society. It is one of my biggest regrets but I am glad it stops at him and you. I'm glad you teaching Leo the opposite of what I taught you. " He said a little sadder now.
"I'm sorry I judged your parenting alot when I was younger. "
"You had every right to. I wasn't a good parent. I'm really sorry for that. I'm sorry I took it out on all of you. I'm sorry I blamed you guys for so many things that wasn't your fault. You all deserved better. I want you to know how much I loved every single one of you though. I would have given up so much for you guys but I was clouded by my feelings to realize you guys had feelings to. "
"It's okay. I mean it wasn't but I understand. Being a parent is hard. We make mistakes which messes our children up but as long as we tried our best to be a good parent is all we can do. When we try to listen to their feelings to because it is important just like ours. Just because we might have more responsibility doesn't mean it makes their struggles they go through dissapear. They are humans to and they didn't ask to exist so it is our duty as parents to try our best for our children. It is okay to make mistakes if you own up to them and try to make it right. You realize now what you did was wrong and you are trying to make up for it. It doesn't make everything you did go away but it is a start. Besides without your parenting I wouldn't have known what not to do with mine. "
He gave a small laugh now," When did you become such a father about everything ?" .
"Since Leo. " I said smiling.
I watched the doctor come in now and he told them I was getting better. I watched their smiles shine through like a sun coming out after a stormy day. I was going to be with them again. Hope filled the room now.Hope to be one step further to ending this nightmare.
We were stuck in the hospital room even after they left. It was boring being here but I tried to make the best that I could somewhat feel everything around me.
We were both transported to my house and now I saw everyone here. There Leo was on Amy's lap. She was telling him about me. I watched everyone in tears now including me . I looked next to Penny to find Leonard get up and leave. Why was he leaving ? Why was he leaving the time they needed him the most ? The time Penny needed him the most. The time I needed him the most ?
I got up and left outside my house following him.
"Where are you going Sheldon ?" he asked.
"To make sure my best friend is okay. " I said getting in the passenger seat of Leonard's car.
I felt this pain in my leg now but I ignored it focusing on him. He was sobbing as he hit the steering wheel continuously.
"I'm sorry Sheldon. I'm sorry I really tried. " He said through the crying.
"I thought I could do this for Leo. I thought I could do this for you but watching Amy and Leo live without you hurts. Sheldon,It started with me and you. It started with my annoying roommate and now I have this family which you aren't here for. I hate being with them without you. You were my brother and now the time I need you the most you aren't here. " He said in between the sobs.
He buried his head in his arms on the steering wheel. I didn't know how bad this affected him. How hurt he was. That is why he refused to come see me. It was because he refused to believe that he would have to live without me,his crazy roommate.
"It's okay Leonard. I miss you to. I'm still here,your crazy roommate even if I am not here physically. I'm sorry I left but please know I am trying my best to get back to you. Get back to my non biological brother. "
I watched him cry and I couldn't take it anymore so I left back into the house to find everyone dancing now. I saw Amy dance with Leo which sent me laughing. She was saying something and I was so far away yet I could hear it like she was near me.
I smiled wishing she could see me or she could hear me. I wish I could tell her how much I love her. How much I wish I was with them right now. It all hurt so much. Watching them in pain like this but I loved how they were still trying to find good moments along the way.
I watched Leo see my unconscious body for the first time. The way he would hurt thinking I was in pain. I wish I could tell him I was okay. I was fine. He tried so hard to make me better the way we did for him when he fell or something but this was worse than a fall. He still showed how grateful he was for everything despite everything. I knew he didn't understand everything but I was so proud of him. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to know he was my son. Our son. Amy and mine.
When Bernie and him left for lunch Amy was the only one in the room. I tried to get my unconscious self to hold her hand but no matter how much I tried I couldn't.
"Can you believe that's our son Sheldon? He keeps getting more beautiful everyday. Sometimes it is moments like these when the tantrums are worth it." I said smiling now," He misses you,you know that ? I miss you. " She said holding my hand.
"I miss you to Amy. " I said sitting next to her after listening to what she had to say.
She looked in my direction now like she heard me. She frowned her head now.
"I swear I heard him." She said to herself then she looked at unconscious me again," I guess I am going mad aren't I?" Amy said laughing.
"She heard me dad. She heard me . " I said looking at him now.
"You must be feeling more connected to the real world now."
"You could be going home soon Sheldon. " He said with a smile.
I could be coming home to her to Leo to everyone. I could be coming home.
"Where am I now ?" I asked realizing Amy by the door to the guest room.
I stood next to her to see what she was looking at. There my son was praying with my mother. A sight I thought I would never see. I smiled watching them both together. I watched Amy look at our son with pride. I wish I was here for that to.
"This is not a sight I ever thought I would see. Sheldon's son praying. " My dad said chuckling.
"You telling me. I wonder whose idea this was. "
"It must have been Leo's. Your mother wouldn't force anybody to pray unless it is grace but that is to bless the food. "
I stood there feeling for some reason like I succeeded as a parent. I wasn't religious but the fact Leo has so much believe in something even if it is for me made me know that he was going to be okay. That they were going to be okay.
I knew if I couldn't stay they would be fine. If I couldn't come back. They would be fine without me if I decided to go.
I was transported back into the comic book store with most of the comic books on the floor. I got up immediately trying to find a way out but I couldn't. It was just like the first day I was here. My father was with me this time.
"What am I doing back here Dad? I thought I was better ?" I asked a little mad now.
He shrugged his shoulders trying to close his eyes so we could be teleported somewhere but we were still stuck in the same room. I was stuck here.
"Sheldon? That short second before we got here,what were you thinking ? " My dad asked.
"That if I couldn't come back Leo and Amy would be fine. That everyone will be fine. " I said feeling my heart sink with just the thought of being away from them forever.
"Sheldon you are bringing yourself back here. You are stopping yourself from being there. You need to know you are going to be okay. You need to fight. For Amy,Leo and your mom as well as everyone. For your unborn child. "
"I am though. I am trying. "
"You don't really believe you are going to make it out of here do you ? Your meemaw and pop pop are bringing you back here aren't they ? " He said reading my mind like I was a open book.
I looked down now not being able to look at him.
"I miss them dad I want to see them. I can always check up on them don't you get that and I can be with my meemaw and pop pop. I don't need to choose Dad . I can have both. " I said not trying to hide it anymore.
"No you can't Sheldon. You can't have both as much as I know you want to but you can't. Your meemaw and pop pop wouldn't want you to give up these people for them. They have become your family and family fights for each other. They fight to come back. "
"Like you fought to come back ?"
"That's not fair Sheldon. I didn't have someone guiding me back but you do. You can learn from my mistakes. "
"I have don't you get that. Why don't you think I stay away from alcohol as much as possible. I stay away from anything that can ruin my health. I look after myself more than anyone and look where it got me ? It got me dead with my child losing me at almost 5. I lost you at 14. So clearly I have done everything to stay away from being here but I am here for a car that came out of nowhere. I wasn't even breaking any laws but some reckless driver is probably okay while I am here. I have tried and it got me at the worst place than you were. " I said getting mad now.
"You are right sometimes life is unfair. Do you really want to let Amy tell your little boy that you aren't ever coming home because you chose your meemaw and pop over them. Look Sheldon I know you are upset and this is all cruel but can you really say goodbye to these people knowing you didn't give your all to come back like you promised so many times. Don't be me. Don't break your promises. Be better. You will be with your Meemaw and Pop pop again just not now. I won't allow you to. Your family needs you. "
The tv screen played something now.
It was Leo in bed and Amy tucking him in then reading him a story. They were smiling but I knew the pain they were hiding behind it. Maybe I was lying to myself. Maybe they did need me. I needed them. I knew that.
"Im coming home then. You are right. I was caught up on having it both ways but I didn't realize I can have it both ways just not at the same time. I need to come home and when it is my time I will see meemaw and pop pop. " I said making my decision.
"That's right Sheldon. " He said happy with my decision.
"Thank you for being my guide. I would have no clue on what to do without you. You are the reason I will be coming home. " I said smiling now.
"I'm just glad you will go back. " He said giving me the same smile.
I then found myself in Leo's room . My dad stood there watching Amy and Leo while I sat on the other side of Leo. Leo put his hand on Amy's arm to stop her from reading.
"He is here mommy. " Leo said as he gave a big smile.
"Daddy. He is here." Leo said looking in my direction.
He could feel my presence. He could feel that I was here.
"He is always here for you sweetie even if it isn't physically. " Amy said kissing the top of his head.
She continued reading while Leo laid in her arms and I just sat there listening to her read to him. It was one of the most peaceful things you could witness. The way she puts emotions in the word and delicately reads one word after the next with so much care. She cherished every word on that page while Leo listened to her. His face showed how he felt throughout the book until he grew sleepy. I wanted to be here forever. With them forever. I knew that more than ever now. They were my connection to the real world.They were always bringing me back. They kept me fighting. I was fighting for them.
When Amy went to bed I sat there next to her just watching her sleep. She slept better tonight than normally like me being here helped even when she didn't know it. She woke up and I met her down at the kitchen as she made breakfast.
"Did you sleep well ?" My mom asked now with a cup of tea in her hand.
"Surprisingly yes I did thank you ."
"You ready for your scan today ?" Penny asked sitting next to her.
"As okay as I can be without Sheldon being there . "
"Well you will have Bernie and I there " she said with a smile even though she spent the night crying herself to sleep instead of drinking herself to sleep.
"Thank you for coming with even with everything. "
"Of course Ames. There is nothing better I can think of doing. "
I just wish they saw me. I wish they heard me. I wish I could tell them what I was seeing. Tell Penny how sorry Leonard was. How much he loves her. I hated seeing them apart. I hated seeing her hurt and worried for her husband. They were both worried for each other but they displayed their fears with anger instead of concern. They were both hurting and I hated that it was my fault.
I wanted to tell her that the drinking wasn't going to bring me back. That she needed her husband not alcohol. I wanted to tell Leonard that ignoring me being in the hospital isn't going to make it any less of a nightmare. They needed each other they both knew that. They were going to be okay. I wish I could be here but I was still stuck in this world no matter how much I tried not to be.
"Are you ready ?" The doctor said applying gel to Amy's stomach.
Bernie and Penny were there watching it all happen.Amy nodded then the doctor put the scanner on her stomach and a heart beating was heard as long as different shades of grey on the screen.
The doctor smiled watching everyone overwhelmed by the sound but then she frowned. I stood next to Amy trying to hold her hand to lessen the fear on her face. The room was silent other than the heart beating and the doctor started playing with the buttons now.
"Is something wrong ?" Penny asked not being able to take the suspense.
The doctor seemed to solve whatever was worrying her then looked at Penny and smiled.
"Yes sorry if I scared you. I just thought the heart beating sounded different and I realized it is because there are two heart beats instead of one. Looks like you are having twins. " She said with a big smile.
"Twins ?" Bernie said.
The doctor nodded then showed everyone the grey blobs on the screen and how it showed two of them. They were both small. Amy was in tears now watching the screen.
"Are you okay Ames?" Penny asked.
"I'm having twins. Two more children. " She said at a loss for words.
"Two more Shamy children. How do feel about that ?" Bernie asked
"More than happy. Im just wondering how I didn't think I could have twins sooner. " Amy said laughing then looking in my direction.
We were having twins. I will have three children. My need for a pattern loved this. Divisible by three. I remember Amy and my conversation on having kids that were divisible by three. She gave that to me. She has always given me everything I have ever needed and I now hated that I almost left her,that I couldn't be here. I hated that I couldn't share this with her. I was having twins. Twins. I was the luckiest person in the whole universe and this was more of a reason for me to come back.
After the scan they left to the car to drive home. I sat in the backseat with Amy even though she couldn't see me.
"I'm sorry Sheldon wasn't here to share this with you but we are really happy for you Ames. " Penny said looking behind her now to look at Amy.
"I'm happy to thanks. I think in his own way he was here. " She said glancing in my direction and smiling.
"Everything is going to work out. Just take it one day at a time. " Bernie said.
"One day at a time. " Amy repeated looking out the window.
to be continued...
See I promised it would get better but unfortunately the worst is still yet to come but I promise happy ending. For Shamy. I thought it would be cute to give them twins because of Amy and Sheldon's conversation. Next chapter we are going to find out more about Penny and Leonard.
Oh and to the person who asked about Amy's pregnancy you will find out a little later on in the story She is 3 months because it helps later on in the storyline and also time has passed since she found out about the pregnancy so time has passed. I know it is a bit unrealistic but it happens and it benefits the story. Thank you so much for your support to I appreciate it more than you know.
Thank you for all your support seriously it makes me more happy than you will ever know :)